Don't Drop The Soap!
by keikopanda102
Summary: Hidan gets sent to a very unique jail where he meets a bunch of new people. It all seems ok until shower time... Now Hidan needs some serious protection for his ass! KakuHidan. Other Akatsuki pairings as well. AU um... warning: Yaoi and MPreg. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**Don't Drop the Soap!**

**A yaoi about prison. There clearly are not enough of these! Hidan and Kakuzu are my favorite couple and Akatsuki is just fun to write about! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto nor any of the loverly characters I'm about to exploit!!!! *Mwah Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!***

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Chapter 1: Let the Bodies Hit the Floor

Hidan couldn't keep the smile off of his face.

Not when they dragged him out of his apartment and beat his skull in repeatedly. Not when he was thrown in a straightjacket and tossed into a padded cell. Not when they insulted him and called him names did he ever stop smiling. Not even now, when he was standing, still in the beige straightjacket, in front of a courtroom full of very angry looking men who were all looking at him as if he were about to try and eat his own feces. He corrects himself, one of the men is staring at him with something resembling interest written on his face. Hidan sticks his tongue out at this man.

The man laughs. Now Hidan looks over him more curiously as the other men argue and debate about things he couldn't care less about. The man looks normal. He is wearing a suit and tie like everyone else there, besides Hidan of course. This man looked even more normal then the rest actually. His brown hair was cut in the most boring way. His face was plain and there weren't really any distinguishing features. He looked about in his 40's, maybe late 30's. He was so plain and boring Hidan was thrown for a loop. The man suddenly looks like he made a decision and stands up, calling attention to himself.

The rest of the men look over at him as he begins speaking,

"I realize you have come to a verdict that what this man here did was wrong and that he should be put to death for his actions but... I would like to offer another option. My name is Seiji Yamada. I run a small, privately owned... prison of sorts. We only accept 'special' murderers in Kure-Ji-Kira and I believe Hidan may be just the kind of man we like. Would you please consider it?"

Another man stands up and says in a thoughtful voice,

"I've heard of your Kure-Ji-Kira somewhere before. You run... _test _on the prisoners there, don't you?_" _

Yamada smiles a conniving smile as he answers, "We are a group of scientists working very hard to come up with cures for various mental illnesses. We've found that many murderers often have these disorders and, because they are there against their will, they cannot complain if the tests are somewhat... out of the ordinary. But rest assured, we never do anything that is not state approved and every other part of Kure-Ji-Kira is exactly like any other high security prison."

The rest of the men in the room glance around at each other and mutter about what Mr. Yamada just said. After a few minutes, the old judge bangs the gavel to quiet the room and announces in a deathly grave voice,

"We have come to the conclusion that there is no good reason Kure-Ji-Kira should not take responsibility for this killer. In other words... If you want him, you can have him! Case closed."

Hidan is then forcibly taken to an armed truck that was waiting behind the courthouse and gets tossed unceremoniously in the back. As the door closes he gets one last glance at Yamada. He hadn't noticed back in the courtroom how downright evil and sadistic his pitch black eyes were. Maybe this man wasn't as boring as he looked.

_Whatever the case, _Hidan tries to situate himself in a more comfortable position, not knowing how long the ride will last, _at least I'm not gonna die! Thank Jashin for that! _

His smile spreads once more across his face at this thought.

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Hidan had to admit, of all the times he'd been arrested, this was the strangest jail he had ever been too. He came to this conclusion the second he saw the building, after riding in the back of the van for approximately six hours.

It was clean and there was no outside to it at all. It had a lot of windows although they all looked very high. The building was both tall and wide and it towered over the empty fields surrounding it.

Kure-Ji-Kira continued to surprise Hidan as he went further inside it. The inside was even cleaner than the outside. He could tell it was not just your run of the mill state prison. They didn't take his mugshot at Kure-Ji-Kira, neither did they make him give a fingerprint or do a full body search on him. They did search him, made him remove all of his clothing but nothing near as invasive as he usually had. Hidan didn't find this suspicious at all. Then again, Hidan wasn't the brightest bulb in the pantry.

Hidan even liked the uniform he was given to wear. It wasn't orange nor was it black and white like prison jumpsuits usual are. It was straight black with a few randomly placed read clouds on it. Hidan found it almost flattering.

The only part of the prison so far that Hidan didn't enjoy was when he was placed in a white, empty room and told to wait. After a few minutes Mr. Yamada enters the room and sits down across from him. He only has a simple blue folder with him and he looks at Hidan as he opens it and pulls out a pen.

He looks up, his eyes shining as if it is christmas morning and Hidan is a huge pile of unopened presents, and says,

"Tell me about yourself, Hidan."

Hidan raises an eyebrow in amusement. "Why the fuck would you need to know about me?"

Yamada smiles. "You still don't understand what we do here, do you?"

"Guess 'not" Hidan answers.

"Well," Yamada begins. "We are obsessed with the insane here at Kure-Ji-Kira. And we believe there might be a small chance you may have some type of mental illness. I want to know about you to create a profile on you so I can study you and maybe, in the future, run a few simple tests to see if we can't fix whatever went wrong in your brain."

"Wait one Jashin damn minute!" Hidan yells, suddenly standing up, the chain connecting his wrists jangling. "Who the fuck are you tellin' me there's somethin' wrong with my brain! Asshole!"

"Hey, hey relax. You should really be thanking me. You would be dead, remember?"

Hidan scowls then settles back down in his seat. Yamada smiles again. "Are you ready to tell me about yourself now?"

"Wadda ya wanna know?" he grumbles.

"How about we start with this 'Jashin' you're always talking about?" Yamada asks, the tip of the pen placed on the paper gently.

"Are you mocking Jashin-sama!?" Hidan yells, his anger building again.

"No! no of course not. I would never dream of it... In fact I'm interested very much in how that all works. Please explain it to me. In detail."

Hidan looks at him suspiciously before starting at the beginning,

"Jashinism is a small religion even though we spend a lotta time tryin' to get new members. My dumbass parents were Jashinists but... they were not loyal enough. That's why they died. Punishment for their sins."

"How did they die?" Yamada asks.

"Car crash." Hidan answers quickly then continues telling his story,

"They were crappy ass Jashinists. They didn't kill enough and never tried converting others. I think they didn't even want anyone to know what they did. I knew they were wrong for not believing in our Lord enough. I was eight." Hidan says before Yamada even has a chance to ask. Hidan begins again in a bored voice.

"After they died a group of devout Jashinists watched me until I was fifteen. They always said I was the 'chosen one' or something because of, you know, my weird look."

"Let's talk about that for a moment. Your albinism." Yamada interrupts.

"...'k... Um... my mom and dad weren't. It was really fuckin' weird that I came out like this. I've always loved it though. Makes me look bitchin' cool! Everyone always thinks it would make me weak or some shit but I always surprise people."

"Interesting. Yes... I think it makes you look unique and... exotic." Yamada says. His eyes flashing dangerously. "Please go on. Deeper into the religion if you would?"

Hidan leans back in the chair then props his legs up on the table as he says,

"Jashin... Is the one true god. All the other gods can go fucking suck a cock!"

"And doesn't Lord Jashin care about all that vulgarity you use?" Yamada asks, slightly amused.

Hidan laughs. "Naw, he likes it. Curse words are like religious words for us Jashinsists. The only thing Jashin-sama really gives a damn about is the body. It has to be pure and pristine. No peircings, no tattoos, no sex-"

"Wait what?" Yamada asks, surprised. "You mean you... have never had sex? Ever?"

"Nope!" Hidan says happily. "I'm probably the cleanest person in this whole building!"

"Got that right..." Yamada mutters under his breath so low Hidan can't catch it. "Ok... so pure body, got it. Now... about the ceremony that landed you in here in the first place?" The look on Yamada's face tells Hidan they had gotten to the topic he was most anxious to talk about. "Apparently you were found in the middle of a field, painted head to toe with black and white body paint and a ton of blood on and around you with two dead bodies. You were chanting, laying on the ground in a circle. This ritual is called...?"

"Doesn't have a name. It's THE ritual though. The only one we ever do. We put on the traditional markings and murder non-believers, then hurt ourselves the same way we hurt the sacrifices. And the symbol isn't just a fuckin' circle! It's Lord Jashin's symbol!"

He reaches in his shirt and pulls out a chain. On the end of it is a small silver circle and inside the circle is an upside down triangle. Yamada nods and says,

"Ah yes... The guards did inform me that you refused to take that off through the entire procedure. Now I suppose I understand why. Did you know it is surprisingly similar to the alcoholics anonymous symbol?"

Hidan growls, "If one more fucking bastard person tells me that they are getting an ass-hat, I swear to Jashin!"

"Ok, ok." Yamada says before Hidan gets to angry. "Now I know about the ceremony. To kill the non-believers is the point, did I get that right?"

"No." Hidan answers, his sick smile sliding back onto his face. "The killin's justa bonus. We do it so Lord Jashin may some day bless us with the gift of... immortality."

"Immortality, you say?" Yamada asks curiously. Hidan doesn't notice just _how _curious he looks. His eyes shine and his ear perk up(metaphorically), waiting for Hidan's next explanation. "Has anyone ever received this blessing, do you know?"

"There are stories, I guess. About people who made the ultimate sacrifice for Lord Jashin and became the living dead. I never met any but... the Jashinists always thought I'd be the one who would finally reach our Lord and receive his love..."

"I see... One more question, then I think we are done..."

Hidan nods, glad to almost be finished with the stupid 'talk.' He stretches then listens for the final question.

"What is the ultimate sacrifice?" Yamada asks, leaning in, awaiting the answer with a baited breath.

Hidan relaxes. He thought it would be something hard.

"Immortality IS the ultimate sacrifice. Do you know how painful and boring and depressing it would be to live forever? You couldn't die if you tried. That... is the ultimate sacrifice."

"Then why would you want that!?" Yamada asks, perplexed.

"With it, comes Jashin-sams's infinite love and adoration. Plus, the stories say, once you reach that point... you can hear his voice."

Yamada is quiet for a moment then he breaks out into a smile.

"Sorry... it seems I got another answer without realizing it. But... That was all very interesting."

A guard comes in and holds Hidan's arm as Yamada gives him a strange look, as though he is something to eat and says,

"I think you will fit in around here splendidly. And I know your going to be helpful with our research."

He begins to walk away but the guard stops him by asking,

"Where should I put him Boss?"

Yamada turns around, looks Hidan up and down once then gets a mischevious twinkle in his eye as he says,

"How about Room 24-U?"

He and the guard exchange a dark chuckle which makes Hidan get a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as he is led down a dark hallway roughly. The building looking, for the first time, like a real prison.

_Who the hell could be in room 24-U? _He wonders, not at all expecting what he finds when the door is opened and he is tossed inside.

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**There you have it! Chapter one! Hope you liked it! I have a feeling this is going to be my best story yet! Believe it!**

**I know there wasn't much yaoi in this one but trust me I will make up for it in the chapters to come!**

**What could possibly be in Room 24-U?!?!?! Keep reading to find out! XD **

**Review! erm... please? XD**

**KeikoPanda102**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Rock and Roll

"Why the fuck am I in the girl's room!?" Hidan yells when he looks around the cell he is tossed into. He sees three people who, in his eyes, all look like very hot women. After a minute he says, "Actually, why are there even girls in a prison anyways!? Who ever heard of a mixed gender jail? The chicks'll just get raped!" Hidan directs these questions to the guard but he just smiles darkly and says as he closes and locks the cell door,

"I'm sure your new roommates will enlighten you..."

And sure enough, when Hidan turns around a girl with long blonde hair tied up in a ponytail walks over to Hidan and introduces herself,

"Hi, I'm Deidara, un."

"What the fuck!?" Hidan exclaims when he hears the persons voice. He ignores the hand Deidara is holding out to him and asks, "Your a guy!?"

Deidara glares. "I'm a _guy, _yeah! And there's only one girl in the entire prison, un. That's Konan over there." He says as he jabs his thumb to the top bunk of a bed on the other side of the room.

Hidan blanches. "What about her?" he asks and points to the only other person in the room. A dark looking individual who is laying with their arms behind their head on the bottom bunk of the bed opposite Konan. At a closer look, Hidan realizes he was very wrong. This person isn't a girl. Not in the slightest.

"I know you..." Hidan says as he walks a little closer to the guy on the bed. He turns his head with a bored look on his face as Hidan continues, "You're Itachi Uchiha. You killed your entire family! No wonder your in here."

Even Hidan, who never paid _any _attention to the news or current events at all knew about him. He was infamous. He was the eldest son of a very rich and powerful clan but one day he snapped and killed them all, with the small exception of his younger brother. Hidan was impressed that he was sharing a cell with this famous murderer. And intrigued at how calm, dignified, and intelligent he seemed for supposedly being crazy.

Itachi just turns away and goes back to staring at the bottom of the top bunk of the bed. Deidara mutters quietly,

"Your kinda rude aren't you, un?"

Hidan shakes his head then looks up at a very pretty girl with blue hair, a pierced bottom lip, and heavy black eyeshadow who is folding paper on the top bunk. He turns to Deidara,

"Seriously... how is she not being raped right now? It's a jail for Jashin sakes!"

Hidan had been to jail before. He knew how it was. Criminals would screw anything. It was just the way they were.

Deidara laughs.

"Well, it's mostly because about 60% of the guys in here are gay, un. And the percent that isn't... knows not to touch her. She belongs to Leader-sama, everyone knows that. And no one wants to mess with him. Plus she can defend herself if it ever came down to it, yeah. Just a warning, un. In case you were thinking about it..."

"Oh, no!" Hidan exclaims. "I wasn't. I was just curious. This is a really weird jail you know? Sorry about calling you all girls though... and saying this was the chick room..."

Deidara lowers his bright blue eyes to the ground and murmurs lightly,

"Well that's not entirely un-accurate, un..."

"Whadda ya mean?" Hidan asks, becoming nervous for some reason. Maybe because of the way Yamada had said 'Room 24-U.'

"This room is for the uke's especially, yeah."

"Uke?" Hidan asks, not really sure if he wants to know the answer.

"The bottom?" Deidara says quietly.

Hidan, who isn't very smart, still doesn't get it.

"We're the ones who get it up the ass." A smooth voice says from the bottom bunk.

Hidan looks over at Itachi who's gaze hadn't moved from the same spot on the bottom of the top bunk. As his words sink in, Hidan says,

"Does that mean that... I'm...?"

"All it means is that Yamada put you in here because he thinks you would be on the bottom. Usually... that's all it means. So don't panic, un! All the rooms are organized like this! There are S rooms, and U rooms. S for seme and U for uke. Doesn't mean anything really, yeah!" Deidara tries to sooth Hidan before he has a breakdown. It helps. Hidan takes a few deep breathes then grumbles,

"Fine... I guess there's nothing I can do about it..."

Deidara sighs and decides to change the subject. "I don't think we got your name, un?"

"Hidan. Nice to meet you, I guess..."

Deidara smiles and shows him to his bunk, the only one not taken, below Konan, where Hidan promptly fall into a dead sleep. Deidara relaxes and sits against the wall on his top bunk over Itachi. Suddenly Konan speaks up,

"You lied to him Deidara..."

He glances up at her apologetically and says, "I know, yeah. But I didn't want to tell him, un. It seemed like it would really upset him, yeah."

"He'll find out soon enough." Itachi says.

"Yeah..." Deidara sighs and glances once more at Hidan, sleeping peacefully, before he drifts off to sleep as well.

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Hidan is used to waking up to the sound of an obnoxiously loud bell but that doesn't mean he enjoys it. He groans as he gets up and follows after a surprisingly cheerful Deidara toward the cafeteria for breakfast. But he soon finds out, there isn't really a cafeteria, there's only a common room, and that room is where they eat. On one side it was tables, on the other side it was tv's, comfy-ish couches, board games and other things to keep the inmates occupied. He continues to follow Deidara to a table where they sit down.

Almost immediately a smallish man, who kind of looks like a boy, with flaming red hair sits down next to Deidara. His eyes have a sort of fixed manner that makes Hidan get the impression he can't show emotion very well. He begins wondering if a lot of the people here are like that after meeting Itachi and then this guy.

Hidan notices that this guy looks a lot less boyish when he puts his arm lazily around Deidara's shoulders. He glances at Hidan and asks in a calm, soothing voice,

"Who's this guy?"

"Hidan. Our new roommate, un."

Suddenly Itachi and Konan join them at the table both followed by two guys Hidan hadn't met yet. One, who looks oddly blue and shark-like, smiles, showing sharp teeth, then says in a rough voice,

"New huh? Names Kisame. What's up?"

Hidan smiles. Glad everyone here isn't boring and unemotional. Hidan notices Kisame sit next to Itachi possessively and can't stop himself as he asks,

"You two are together?"

"You could say that." Kisame shrugs. "We're as 'together' as any of us here. Wouldn't trust the lot of ya, if you know what I mean."

"Aw Kisame is so mean!" a new face, well kind of, says as he joins them at the table. "Tobi loves you all! I'd never do anything to you guys!" This man, Tobi, apparently, wears an orange, spiral mask covering his entire face besides one eye. Hidan thinks his personality doesn't fit the way he looks.

Half of them roll their eyes while the other half just smile at Tobi's words.

"_**Well we're not so sentimental. **_" another strange voice says as he joins the table as well, "We'd sell any of you out the second we got the chance if it'd save our hide."

"Whaaaaat!?" Tobi pouts. "Even Tobi, Zetzu!? You're meaner than Kisame!"

Hidan is finding this group stranger every second. This, Zetzu looks strangely green and his eyes have an off yellow tone to them. His voice sounds like he smoked to much and now his rasping comes and goes. He also has a strange feeling this man is schizophrenic.

He doesn't even notice the quiet but menacing figure sitting next to Konan until he asks in an emotionless tone,

"Where's Kakuzu?"

"Therapy." Kisame says using the air quotes around the word.

"What's therapy?" Hidan asks.

"Oh you know," Sasori says. "They try to solve our 'problems' or whatever. They really just want us for their stupid tests."

"Oh yeah. That fucktard Yamada said something about needed to 'know me' and shit. He did this whole profile thing when I got here. Made me tell him my life story and crap. He's weird."

"He's beyond weird." Zetzu nods "_**He's messed up worse than the rest of us."**_

Most of the people around the table nod. There is silence for a moment before the one known as 'Leader-sama' asks Hidan,

"So what are you in here for?"

Hidan is a little creeped out by the way his eyes seem far away. He has piercing's all over his face and bright orange hair. Hidan realizes he didn't answer the question and stumbles as he says,

"Killed some people..."

"Duh!" Kisame says, "But how'd you do it? That's all that's important in here."

"I sacrificed them to Lord Jashin!" Hidan says happily.

"That's a new one, un!" Laughs Deidara. "Who is Lord Jashin?"

Hidan resists the urge to curse them to hell for being non-believers and just focusses on telling them everything he can about his beloved god. When he's finished, Konan says,

"No wonder you're in here. That's some intense stuff right there. And don't take this the wrong way, but you have a really fucked up religion. Not that any of us can talk really."

"What about you guys?" Hidan asks. "What could you have possibly done that compares to what I did to get stuck in here?"

"You really want to hear our stories?" Sasori asks.

"Sure!" Hidan says enthusiastically.

"Where to begin...?" Leader-sama mutters before plunging into a detailed account of the actions that landed him in Kure-Ji-Kira.

"I just wanted peace." Leader-sama begins. "Thinking back, I maybe went about things the wrong way..."

"I've had a lot of pain in my life. First my mother and father were killed before my eyes. Then my best friend..." His voice fades slightly then he clears his throat and says, "That's why sometimes I go simply by the name Pain. Only one person alive knows my true name."

No one at the table misses how his hand tightens around Konan's when he says this.

"Long story short I destroyed an entire town. And that is why I am in here. Seiji thought my reason for doing it was delusional so he saved me from death-row. If you can call this being saved..."

"That doesn't seem as bad as what I did!" Hidan comments.

"Well," Pain says reluctantly, "I had also been good friends with Seiji before all of that happened. That's why I have a few special privileges here that others don't."

"That's not fair!" Hidan says. They all laugh then Konan says,

"I'll tell my story next."

The table goes quiet once again as she begins,

"I was working as a respectable business women for a large company, then. One day I just snapped. Lost control and killed everyone I worked with. There was too much paper work! It drove me crazy!!!"

"Oh please Konan. Drop it. We all know you planned the whole thing just so you could get in here with Leader-sama." Sasori says with a smile. "And he even had to pull some strings to get that."

Konan answers with an equally small smile.

Hidan's eyes widen. "You mean you got put in here on purpose!? Ok, this is officially the most fucked up jail ever."

They all laugh then Hidan turns to Deidara and asks,

"What about you? What did you do?"

"I like explosion, un!" squeals Deidara. The others around the table, except for Sasori, groan.

"Yeah, yeah. We know!" Kisame says.

Deidara's smile widens. "Some bastards were hitting on me, un! So I made the most perfect and awesome tiny fireworks ever and put them in their food, yeah! Then... BAM! They flew all over the ground in a bigilloin pieces! It was so pretty, un! You shoulda seen it!"

"Deidara..." Sasori shakes his head, "When will you learn what real art is?"

Deidara pouts. "It was real art Danna! It made me so happy! Until they said I was gonna die, yeah. But luckily Yamada took me here and I got to meet my Sasori-danna! Yeah!"

Before Deidara can start lavishing kisses all over his 'Danna,' Sasori says,

"Real art is why I'm in here. I really like puppets so when I was really little I turned my parents into puppets. They were so pretty when they just sat there, gathering dust. Forever young and beautiful. And then I ran from the world until I was about 17, when I tried to turn myself, into a puppet. It worked, kind of. I still look 17, though now I'm 34."

"What the hell!? No fucking way you could be 34 years old!?" Hidan exclaims.

Sasori raises an eyebrow. "_That's _the most you get out of that story?"

"Sure." Hidan says simply. "So you turned a few people into puppets. I bet a few of you have done worse, am I right?"

Kisame laughs a bark-like laugh. "You're gonna fit in great around here! And yeah, you're right. Like me, I was a plastic surgeon and, some might say I lost my mind, I just think I just changed the way I wanted to look at life."

"A plastic surgeon?" Hidan asks. "Heh, that makes sense. Considering..." He moves his hand over his face trying to describe the way Kisame looks.

"Again with the rudeness." Kisame laughs. "What, are you trying to say I'm ugly or something?"

"You are!" Hidan yells.

Now the whole table except Kisame laughs. He growls,

"I'll have you know that I used to be very good looking. There was an unfortunate incident with an enemy of mine. I simply called him a 'shark' and he got unnecessarily offended. I woke up soon after looking like this." He motions over his face with a grimace showing.

"Afterwards... you could say I went a little... mad. Starting with that enemy, I shaved peoples skin off and left them skin-less corpses. It looked very painful. Then of course, I got caught and sent here because of how crazy I was acting."

"Damn that's creepy." Hidan says loudly. "But I don't get it? You don't seem creepy or crazy now, in fact, non of you do. Does that mean that fucked up therapy really works?"

"No!" About half of them yell. Kisame sighs.

"I don't know why I calmed down when I got here... I just did."

"I know why, un." Deidara whispers next to him. "Itachi has got some skill in controlling wild beasts, yeah."

"Don't let either of them hear you say that." Sasori warns.

Hidan glances at Kisame and Itachi then says, "What about you?" in Itachi's direction.

The dark, expressionless features turn his way. The table goes quiet. Hidan wonders if maybe he went somewhere no one else ever dared to go. Then Itachi smirks without any real humor and says, "I thought you already knew all about me. I'm famous, remember?"

Hidan smirks back. "But I'd kinda like the story straight from the horses mouth. I'm sure you have a different take on things."

"No." Itachi shrugs. "The story on the news is exactly how it happened."

"But why didn't you kill your brother?"

Everyone notices Itachi's shoulders stiffen when asked this. His smirk turns into a real, crazy smile. Hidan feels, for the first time, like he is at a mental institution.

"Because I wanted him to suffer!" Itachi's voice suddenly high piythed and filled with emotion Hidan is sure he held in for years. Then, as soon as the emotion had come, it disappeared. Itachi's face is once again a blank map as he stands up and says,

"Come, Kisame. I'm hungry." and walks away, Kisame following after him, slightly nervous.

"What's his problem!?" Hidan asks as soon as they are out of range.

"Itachi... doesn't talk about it. Tobi's never ever heard him talk about it..." Tobi mutters quietly, as if afraid Itachi will suddenly pop up behind him and slice his throat.

"What about you, then?" Hidan asks the cheerful man hiding behind an orange mask. "Did you annoy someone to death?"

The whole table breaks out laughing but Tobi just pouts.

"Oh how mean!" Tobi fake cries and then runs off to go get some breakfast. Hidan looks after him in amusement until he sees that he isn't coming back.

"Seriously!" he growls. "How'd that guy get in here?"

Everyone at the table shrugs and Zetzu says,

"_**Search us**_."

Hidan looks at them all like their crazy.

"How can you not know? Is the little mask-face trying to keep it a secret or something?"

"We never really asked. _**He doesn't seem like the type to kill though does he**_?" Zetzu says.

Hidan sighs. "Fine... What about you then? Just a crazy dual personality? Seems kinda typical."

Zetzu smiles wickedly. "I'm also a cannibal."

"There's a new one!" Hidan laughs. "I'm not sure if Jashin allows cannibalism but I think I can let you slide."

Zetzu laughs then begins, "_**We got stranded on a deserted island with our three best friends and our girlfriend.**_ At first it seemed like we were doing good. We had built a shelter, gathered some food and water, and were working on a radio. _**Then, Tyuma's skull got crushed by a huge bolder and he died.**_ The others just wanted to bury him and be done with it but we weren't so delusional. _**We cooked him, and ate him**_."

"Oh are you telling your story Zetzu!?" Tobi asks as he returns and sits down with a plate of food in his hand. Itachi and Kisame sit down right after him.

"No shit, sherlock." Hidan says and rolls his eyes. Zetzu nods as Tobi pouts again and continues with his story.

"When the others found out, they thought I was crazy, or evil or whatever. _**So, we had to kill them. **_They all tasted very good with just the right tenderizing of the meat. _**Nothing like the taste of human flesh!!! **_After that, we were all alone on that dumb island. _**We guess we created this 'other person' to try and stop ourselves from going crazy from the loneliness. **_We got rescued eventually of course. _**But, once everyone heard how we killed and then ate them... **_they instantly sent us here."

"Tobi is so glad they did! Tobi loves Zetzu-chaaaan!" Tobi squeals as he grips Zetzu's arm.

"Wow." Hidan whistles. "That one is probably the best story out of all of them."

"What about Tobi's story!? Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi yells happily as he begins munching on his food. The others just laugh and look at him pityingly.

After another few minutes, Hidan's stomach growls and he groans,

"Where can a Jashin loving guy get some food around here?"

"You have to go get it yourself, at the bar. Moron." A raspy voice says from behind Hidan. Hidan turns, about to say something snarky but when he finds himself being stared down by two acid green orbs he loses his voice. He has to tear himself away from those penetrating eyes to look at the rest of the person attached to them.

He is tall, tan, muscularly built, but not too much, with medium length scragly black hair. He is wearing a mask to cover his entire face, except of course, his eyes, which seem framed with black, though that only makes the green stand out more. His most distinguishable features though, would have to be the many, many scars covering every part of his exposed body, which would include his shoulders and arms.

This man gives Hidan one more disdaining look before asking in an annoyed tone,

"Who is the idiot sitting in my seat?"

__________________________________________________

**Oh yay! Kakuzu was introduced! If only barely. I really hope everyone liked my descriptions of all the Akatsuki members and how they got in Kure-Ji-Kira(which, if you want to know what it means... look it up yourself!) **

**I really, really hope you will review and tell me just how much you really did like them. Or didn't... all up to you. All I want is for you to... REVIEW!!!!! ...thanks!!!!**

**KeikoPanda102**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 4: Beat It

"Who is the idiot sitting in my seat?"

The scowl on the persons face who said this suddenly turns into a smirk as he looks down at Hidan with contempt.

"Wait... Could this be the reason Yamada made me get up extra early for therapy this morning? Is he the new prisoner?"

He asks the whole table, looking away from Hidan and the scowl returning to his features.

"Yeah! This is Hidan!" Tobi says happily. "He's kinda mean but funny too!"

Kakuzu's gaze returns to Hidan as he says,

"Nice to meet you, Hidan. Now move out of my seat, before i've got to kill you."

Fierce anger grows in Hidan's stomach when he hears this.

"The fuck are _you_ callin' _me_ an idiot!? Ass wipe!"

"Someone's feisty." Kakuzu mutters then promptly picks Hidan up by the cuff of his jumpsuit, and tosses him to the floor in a very rude manner. He then calmly takes his seat, now that it is unoccupied. Hidan is almost to shocked to move when he realizes what Kakuzu just did to him. When the realization sinks in he stands up clumsily and balls both hands into fists as he yells,

"You son of a bitch! How dare you fucking touch me like that, douche-bag! Who the _hell _do you think you are!?"

"This is Kakuzu." Leader-sama says, "He got in here for cutting out peoples hearts and selling them on the black market. He transported the living hearts himself by putting them in his own body." Pain then turns to Kakuzu and asks in a pleasant voice, "What do you think of our new friend, Hidan, Kakuzu?"

Without even turning away Kakuzu answers, "He's loud, stupid and annoying. Thanks for telling _my _story by the way."

"No problem." Pain answers with a smile. "How was therapy?"

Kakuzu snorts. "How is it ever? We dove deeper into my 'childhood financial problems' today. Apparently, they led to the obsession I have with money. Speaking of which, what game is on today?"

"_**No games."**_ Says Zetzu, "But there is horse racing!"

"Good." Kakuzu says then stands up and walks over to the televisions and quickly kicks someone out of their seat so he can take it, and changes the channel.

With his seat now open, Hidan sits back down. He is still filled to the brim with hot anger.

"What the hell was that about?" He asks grumpily.

Kisame answers through a full mouth, "Oh, he likes to bet on stuff." He swallows his food and continues, "It's the best way to earn money around here and Kakuzu sure does love money."

Hidan is unsettled and twitchy for a few minutes until he asks,

"What did 'e mean by that, 'the reason Yamada made me come early' shit?"

Deidara shrugs. "Who knows, un?"

Hidan's stomach suddenly makes a loud sound and he gets up grouchily to go wait in the line and get some breakfast. As he is heading to go back and sit down with the rest of the group his eyes wander toward the tv's and he changes his mind. He brings his tray over there instead. He sits down loudly and begins glaring at Kakuzu while munching on a piece of toast. After a few minutes Kakuzu sighs and asks, without looking away from the tv,

"Do you want something?"

"You're an ass!"

"Well, you're a moron." Is Kakuzu's rebuttal.

Hidan growls then turns to the tv. He sees a bunch of horses racing around a track and wonders how Kakuzu can find that at all interesting. He suddenly gets an idea though and asks,

"Which one is yours?"

Kakuzu hesitates before gruffly answering, "Number twelve."

Hidan nods nonchalantly then says in a cheerful voice,

"I'm going to make him lose."

Now Kakuzu turns away from the television. He glares daggers at Hidan then says,

"And how are you going to do that, idiot?"

"I'm going to pray for it to suddenly break it's leg." Hidan answers truthfully.

Kakuzu snorts a laugh then turns back to the tv and says, "Good luck with that."

Hidan smiles then holds his Jashin symbol in his hand and begins praying to Lord Jashin to break the damn horses leg in two. He continues praying this way until he hears Kakuzu's loud exclamation and the sound of a table being upturned. Hidan opens his eyes just in time to see Kakuzu push him against a wall roughly and glare at him while asking in a seething voice,

"How did you do that?"

Hidan smirks. "I prayed."

"Bullshit!" Kakuzu yells, banging the back of Hidan's head against the concrete wall. "I just lost 200 bucks and I'm blaming you!"

"So?" Hidan asks while looking bored. While Kakuzu stands there at a loss for words, Hidan changes suddenly to seriousness. "Tell me what you meant earlier. When you said that shit about me and about you going early to therapy."

At this, Kakuzu smiles. He releases Hidan then says in a triumphant tone,

"You'll see... And when you do, it'll be payment for the money you just lost me."

With that he walks out of the main room and back to his cell.

Hidan straightens his jumpsuit and his hair then goes back and sits down at the table with the rest of the gang. Non of them asks what happened, not that they aren't curious, they just don't want to piss Hidan off.

Hidan himself sulks for a while, then looks lazily around the room. He notices that the rest of the prisoners are slightly different than the group he is sitting with. For one, they don't really interact with each other. Each one has their own little thing. They do talk or hang out sometimes but they don't seem nearly as close as this group.

Hidan asks Pain about it.

"Oh, you noticed that." He says. "Well, I was one of the first ever prisoners in Kure-Ji-Kira, and I found a few of the other strongest, smartest and the prisoners I most got along with in here. Our original plan was... to escape. Zetzu, Sasori, Itachi and Orochimaru were all very organized and together we were determined we would find a way out. We called ourselves, Akatsuki, because we would stare out those tall windows and see the morning light streaming in, wishing we could see the dawn ourselves. The idea kind of died down after a while, and it became more of a friendship between all of us, I guess. Then of course that bastard Orochimaru got out all by himself, what a traitor, not that I wouldn't have done the same thing..."

"Orochimaru?" Hidan asks.

"Orochimaru got in because he was conducting very illegal, very _dangerous_ experiments on people. His guinea pigs would almost always die an extremely painful death. He was a genius, a mad genius, but a genius non the less. Also, though this isn't on his criminal record, but he had a thing for little boys. Some might say he crossdressed as well, I think he really just looked like that. Long black hair, snake eyes, pale face with purple eyeshadow..."

"He was a combination of Michael Jackson and Gene Simmons." Kisame says.

Hidan shudders at the thought.

"He even did the tongue thing." Sasori adds, then demonstrates to get the point through.

"How the hell did he get out?" Hidan asks.

"Good behavior, apparently." Pain says, then he leans in and Hidan copies him while Pain whispers,

"Actually, that's just the public story. I know what really happened. He and Yamada were working together on some drugs... among other things. I think Orochimaru struck a deal with Yamada where, if he completely a specific drug for him, he would be let go, free of charges. And he did it. I never knew what that drug did, but I would always hear them talking about it..."

"So... Orochimaru... just left?" Hidan asks, stunned, once again, at how odd this jail is from the others he's been too.

"He was out of here the exact same day Deidara got in." Sasori whispers as well.

Hidan is thoughtful for a while after that, which is something special for him, because he doesn't usually think all that much. As it starts to get later, he asks Pain,

"Leader-sama, why did you stop trying to escape?"

Pain glances at him, "Like I said, it just slipped our minds after a little while."

"But you've got a bunch more people now to help and shit! I bet we could do it!"

Pain smiles. "You're new her so I'll have to fill you in. Yamada may say it's the same as a regular state prison, but if you try to escape, and you get caught, they will torture you. For days on end. And that's getting off light. Does that sound like a regular state prison to you?"

Hidan's eyes go wide and he nods his head. "Isn't that against the law!?"

Konan laughs this time, "There's a lot of stuff that goes on in here that is against our law and and any other laws anywhere. But both we, and Yamada know, there's nothing we can do about it."

Suddenly Deidara runs over to the table,(he had gone to play pool with Tobi earlier)and says happily, "It's shower time!"

Hidan glances around and asks a bored looking Itachi quietly, "Why in the hell would he be happy about that!?"

Itachi stands up and smirks. "Let's just say that their are some things about Kure-Ji-Kira that are _exactly _like a regular prison."

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**First of all, I want to talk about me comparing Orochimaru to Michael Jackson. I know I shouldn't be saying anything about Michael Jackson! He's dead. It's terribly sad, i know. That is why I want to treat this chapter like a tribute. I wrote this the day he died. He was an amazing artist and should be commemorated for his songs and not his scandals. Not my fault he resembles our dear Oro very much. It's just the way he was designed! **

**Please review. It would be greatly appreciated in this, a time of need... XD**

**KeikoPanda102**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Fall For You

"Why would you be happy bout that Deidara?" Hidan asks the cheerful blonde as they make their way towards the shower room.

"Shower time means sex time, yeah?" Deidara answers flatly.

Hidan nearly drops his towel.

"Don't you mean rape time!?"

Deidara turns towards him, puts one hand on him hip and says warningly,

"If you're afraid of getting raped, un, then just don't drop the soap!"

Hidan gulps. They enter the shower room and Hidan looks around. It is large, spacious, and white. Definitely cleaner than any other prison shower he had ever seen, or been in. There didn't seem to be anywhere private in the entire room and Hidan wondered where the hell someone could have sex in a place like this. He gets his answer when, the second they enter, Sasori grabs an all too willing Deidara and shoves him against the opposite wall.

Hidan looks away only to see Kisame and Itachi going at it on the floor on the other side. Soon the room starts to fill up more and more. Hidan notices that no one seems to actually shower. Water fly's everywhere and on everyone as mountains of bodies roll around the floor and walls.

Hidan can't believe his eyes. Sure, he had seen shower sex in a jail before. But never had the ones on the bottom been at all willing in what was happening. Almost all of the uke's in this prison seemed to be on board. Maybe one or two that was getting fucked by more than one guy was looking a little nervous but they still seemed like they had done this kind of thing before.

Hidan just focussed on cleaning himself. He also tried to ignore the multiple pairs of eyes that were scouring his entire body as he washed.

And then, it happened.

He hadn't been paying attention. He was distracted and the hot steam was making his head fuzzy. He was wet and it was slippery. No matter the excuse, it wouldn't change what Hidan had done:

He dropped the soap.

In an instant, four huge guys were standing around Hidan. His eyes go wide and he prepares himself for an attack. The biggest guy smirks as he reaches down slowly and picks up the dropped soap. He hands it to Hidan who reaches out to take it reluctantly.

The mans dark eyes glow in the bright shower room. "Your welcome..." he says in a deep voice.

As if on cue, the other three trip Hidan, making him land on his hands and knees. Hidan barely has time to register the fear now racing through his body.

"Fuck!" He yells, almost pathetically.

He tries to sit down, protect his ass even a little but they aren't having it. A hand reaches between Hidan's legs and grabs his limp manhood. Hidan flinches at the severely unwanted contact. He struggles but is mostly stopped when two of the men grab his arms and hold them down.

Suddenly Hidan feels his ass cheeks being spread and closes his eyes, preparing for what he knows is to come. The man slams his cock into Hidan so hard Hidan cries out from the fierce stinging and shock of the attack. The water and soap rushing over his body don't do much to lubricate and the pain Hidan feels at being penetrated for the fist time so roughly is almost unbearable.

The men laugh then the one inside Hidan says, "Shit. This mother fucker's ass is tight!"

"Well hurry up!" another says, "I want my turn!"

Hidan entire body quivers with his rejection of the object now getting pounded into him. He opens his eyes only a little and sees a small trickle of blood rushing down the drain. He knows it belongs to him. None of his struggling even seems to bother the men, in fact, they laugh at his failed attempts to buck them off. He loathes the desperate feeling of weakness that coarses through his body along with the pain and humiliation.

The first man finishes, shooting his hot essence into Hidan. When he pulls out Hidan feels short lived relief. The second man enters him. He is smaller but the initial pain is the same. Once the man gets going though, it recedes to a dull ache. Hidan keeps his eyes closed now. He doesn't want to face what's happening to him. He hoped if he just kept still maybe it would be over sooner. It was all so sudden but Hidan knew once it was over the pain would be much worse. He was never good at handling emotions or bad experiences.

He couldn't even begin to think about his beloved Jashin-sama. He knew he was letting his god down but there was nothing he could do about it.

Suddenly the third man hits a spot inside Hidan that almost feels good. Hidan's eyes shoot open and he struggles harder against the men.

"Stop!" he yells.

"Shut up!" one of them commands before hitting the back of Hidan's head with a hard blunt object forcefully.

"Aaah!" he cries out desperately, but when he looks around he sees that almost everyone is gone from the shower room. Almost as if planned.

One of the other men shove a small towel in Hidan's mouth and the one inside him grabs a handful of his hair and pulls back, lifting his head up. Hidan opens his eyes blearily.

He sees two emeralds shining in the steam of the showers. Kakuzu is staring down at him while he is being used by the men. Hidan notices that Kakuzu doesn't have his mask on anymore. He can now see two black stitched scars running on either side of Kakuzu mouth. He also doesn't have a shirt on, the scars cover his entire chest as well as his body. Hidan wonders faintly if Kakuzu will rape him next.

As Hidan stares at Kakuzu the third man cums, shooting his semen all over his back. As the fourth man shoves in Hidan cringes, closing his eyes. A few tears threaten to push out of his eyes and he bites down on the towel to lessen the pain and stop himself from screaming.

Suddenly Kakuzu commands, "Stop."

When the man inside Hidan doesn't quit thrusting Kakuzu steps forward and kicks him. Hidan collapses on the floor as the four men run out the door. His whole body is soar but the water, still running from his shower, soothes it somehow. He hears footsteps coming toward him then surprisingly gentle, but large hands grab a hold of his limp body. Hidan looks up slowly and sees Kakuzu as he sits him up under the water carefully. Hidan closes his eyes as Kakuzu begins washing away the rest of the semen and blood from him. Hidan wishes he had the strength to wash himself so he could try to scrub away the stench of the foul men who raped him.

Kakuzu moves his hands slowly toward Hidan's abused anus. Hidan cringes and tenses against Kakuzu.

"Don't be such a baby." Kakuzu snaps. "I'm just going to clean it."

He starts around Hidan's previously ignored manhood. He rubs it so gently that Hidan can't help but get a little bit aroused. Kakuzu just ignores it and continues his work. When Kakuzu cleans around Hidan's tired hole Hidan notices how sensitive and tender it is. Kakuzu slides one finger inside his entrance. Hidan whimpers without even realizing it. Kakuzu doesn't hesitate as he continues cleaning out all the semen that had been pumped into Hidan just a few minutes ago. His anus is now raw from being torn open over and over, completely unprepared.

Kakuzu finishes cleaning up then picks Hidan up and holds him in his arms bridal style. He carries a nearly fallen asleep Hidan to a dark, quiet room and places him on a bed that's softer than his bunk where he slept the night before. Hidan watches through almost closed eyes as Kakuzu walks toward the door. Before exiting he turns around and says,

"Welcome to Kure-Ji-Kira."

He slams the door, covering Hidan in a shroud of darkness.

__________________________________________________

Kakuzu walks down the halls of his prison while replaying the events of the night in his head. Seeing this exotic, sexy new prisoner being so abused had affected him more than he expected. The annoying albino was almost cute when he kept his big mouth shut. Now that the thought's were stuck in his head, Kakuzu figured he would be spending quite a bit of his free time thinking about ways to play with his new friend.

Kakuzu arrives at a door that is slightly ajar. He pushes it open and clears his throat at the same time, alerting the person already in the room of his presence.

Yamada turns around, smiling. In front of him are about 6 or 7 large tv screens. They are all showing different angles of the shower room. Also in the view are different angles of Hidan's rape. It seemed like Yamada was looking over them, even editing them.

"I noticed you didn't try out your new toy. Did you find him unsatisfactory?" Yamada smirks as he asks this question.

Kakuzu grimaces. "I believe you already know the answer to that." he says as he points to one of the scenes that is zoomed in on his face. Even he won't deny how his eyes gleam with passion as he stares at Hidan being repeatedly penetrated by smelly, fat losers.

Yamada also looks at the screen then fast forwards for a moment. He stops it when Kakuzu is cleaning Hidan. He let's it play while saying, "Yes, I don't believe i've ever seen you act so kindly toward any of you're previous uke's."

"He seemed very... innocent." Kakuzu tells him firmly.

"Well, we'll see if you feel that way after you get to know him better."

"Hn." Kakuzu answers. "Is that all you need then?"

Yamada stares at the screens as he says in a light tone, "I just want to make sure you'll make good on your promise."

Kakuzu thinks back to the way Hidan's skin gleamed pale and soft in the florescent lights of the shower room and nods. "You can be sure of it."

And with that he turns away and walks back to his cell. He ignores the guards who question his lateness harshly. Kisame, Zetzu and Sasori don't ask why he is late. They saw him staring at Hidan hungrily and obeyed when a few of the guards warned them to take their uke's elsewhere for Hidan's initiation.

Kakuzu lays down on his bed wondering why the hell he was worrying about some stupid prick that he was just supposed to fuck. He just couldn't shake the feeling he'd gotten when those bright pink orbs had locked on his so desperately. It was like a poison.

__________________________________________________

**Alright! Poor Hidan lost his virginity to a bunch of ugly thugs! rape rape rape! I wonder how he's gonna react when he wakes up in the morning?**

**Review!!!!!!!!**

**please!......?**

**KeikoPanda102**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: I Want You to Want Me

Hidan wakes up in a place he's never seen before with a serious headache threatening to burst through his skull.

_Must be Sunday... _he muses as he sits up.

When he does this a sharp pain rears up in ass. He remembers everything that had happened the night before in the shower room. He realizes that his headache is actually an ache that covers his entire body. He is suddenly filled with an anger that threatens to surpass the pain he feels. He stands up, ignoring how he almost stumbles from shaky legs and another stab of pain along his spine. He hobbles over to the door and bangs on it until a guard opens it and Hidan almost yells at him,

"Where the fuck am I!?"

The guard is startled but quickly regains his composer as he answers,

"It's the medical cell. Kakuzu said you would need to rest."

_Kakuzu..._

just this man's name makes something spark in Hidan. For some reason he feels like the entire thing was his doing. Hidan thinks he set the four men up to it, just to get him back for making him lose his horse race. Hidan was pissed, and when he got pissed, someone got hurt.

The guard suddenly interrupts Hidan's thought by saying, "Now that you are better, you should go back to your cell."

Hidan fumes as he hobbles swiftly back to cell 24-U. When he gets there he finds his roommates just waking up. When they see him they all stare nervously.

"What the hell are you lookin' at!?" he growls as he flinches and sits down on his bed.

"I'm sorry Hidan..." Konan says softly.

"Why? You guys didn't know this was gonna happen! It wasn't your faults. It was that damned Kakuzu's fault! and he's gonna pay!"

The three others share a glance before Deidara says,

"It's really only bad the first time, un..."

"The first time? There sure as hell won't be a second time!" Hidan says angrily.

"How are you going to manage that?" Itachi asks.

Hidan grimaces but puts on a strong face as he announces,

"I'm never taking a shower again!"

__________________________________________________

Hidan sleeps in. When he wakes up he is alone in the cell and it is dark. The cell door is open and he walks down the hallway toward the common room where he hears loud talking and happy voices. Hidan's anger starts to build when, with every step, a sharp stab of pain shoots up his spine.

He hadn't even thought about how embarrassed he was about being raped until he walks into the crowded room and half the people turn to look at him. His face shines red when some people snicker. His confidence only returns when he sees the four men who raped him cowering in a corner. They are covered in bandages and bruises. Hidan is curious as to how that could have happened but ignores it as he looks around for the person he really has a bone to pick. Kakuzu.

He walks through the crowd of inmates looking for the man he deems responsible for what happened to him. He doesn't see him through the mass of people. He didn't find at at all curious as to why all the people where gathered together in the first place. He was simply focussing on his main goal of finding, and hurting, Kakuzu.

"Kakuzu you bastard! Where the fuck are you!?" He yells into the crowd. A few people around him glare. One even yells a quiet, "Shut up!" Hidan just looks around more, ignoring the people whom he's blocking.

"Yo moron!" Kakuzu yells at Hidan, "Stop getting in people's way!"

Hidan's eyes widen and he jumps over to where Kakuzu is. "You asshole!" He fumes and is ready to punch Kakuzu until Kakuzu just chuckles and says, "Sit down dumbass. You're drawing attention to yourself. Same as being the only one not having sex in the showers. It'll end up getting you in trouble to stand out like that. Do you want _that_ to happen again?"

Hidan looks around quickly as if afraid a bunch of men are just going to pop out of nowhere and attack him. Kakuzu watches him with intrigue then reaches up and wraps one arm entirely around Hidan's waist. He pulls a very shocked Hidan down onto his lap and holds him there. After the initial sting in his rear from the rough grab Hidan is just confused.

"What the-" Hidan says before Kakuzu covers his mouth with one hand and whispers in his ear,

"Shut up."

He waits until Hidan stops struggling then takes his hand away slowly. When he does this Hidan growls,

"What the hell is everyone doing here anyway?"

"Its the fourth of July."

"But why the fuck are we all just sitting here like we're waiting for some shit to go down?" he asks while glancing around the room.

"We're waiting..." Kakuzu says slowly as he lifts his head up, "...for this!"

Suddenly Hidan hears a few loud bangs and every light in the room goes out. He is about to complain and start yelling about how everyone in the jail is crazy when bright, colorful lights start flashing just outside the tall windows of the common room. As he watches the fireworks go off outside, Kakuzu whispers again,

"Remember how the land around Kure-Ji-Kira looked when you got in? All flat and deserted?"

Hidan nods.

"Well a bunch of local kids thought it was a great place to set off fireworks. They started a few years ago. Now It's kinda become a tradition for us to watch through the windows. Even if we can't really see them, we can mostly just see the light they make, it's still nice."

"No one tells them to get off the property or anything?" Hidan asks as splashes of red and yellow dance across his face.

"You think anyone here cares about a bunch of kid's when they've got big time criminals to look after 24-7?"

Hidan doesn't answer. He had suddenly become aware of Kakuzu's arm around his waist and the fact that he was sitting on another man's lap. Not just any man either, Kakuzu was the man he had come in to beat up. Hidan was frustrated because of how distracted he got but finds he can't really get angry at the moment. The cool dark room filled with flashing lights from fireworks along with Kakuzu's body heat and warm breath on his neck were very relaxing and Hidan didn't feel like messing with the balance at the moment.

He looks around the room and catches glimpses of the others as the fireworks go off and light up the pitch black room. Konan is lying down with her head in Pain's lap on a table. Next to them, Deidara is sitting in the exactly same position he himself is in, but with Sasori instead of Kakuzu. Tobi sits cross legged on the floor with Zetzu leaning back in a chair behind him. Itachi and Kisame are spread out on the couch and Itachi almost looks like he is about to fall asleep. Kisame slides a hand through soft, black locks as he watches the lights come in from outside.

After a few minutes the silence starts to bug Hidan and he asks, "Why did you help me yesterday after fucking setting me up in the first place?"

"I dunno..." Kakuzu muses. He is then quiet or a moment then says, "I think it was because you looked so pathetic."

"Tsk!" Hidan exclaims. "Jerk! You wouldn't look so hot after just getting raped _four jashin damn times_ either!"

Kakuzu laughs suddenly. "Speaking of which, how stupid could you be?"

"Huh?" Hidan asks.

Kakuzu's voice is light and playful as he answers, "I'm pretty sure you are the only person i've ever met who has _actually_ dropped the soap. You do know that's just a saying right? Whether you drop the soap or not you're still gonna get raped if you look hot enough."

"Hey!" Hidan glares. "That shit was slippery and I was nerv-" He stops for a moment then smirks, "wait... did you say I'm hot?"

Kakuzu chuckles again. "...such an uke..." he mutters as he pulls Hidan closer and ignores the jashinist's nagging voice until the fireworks are over and they have to go back to their separate rooms.

As they part, a bunch of the other couples kiss goodbye around them. Kakuzu stares at Hidan until he glares hard, his previous anger returning now that the lights are back on.

"Don't even think about it!" he spits as he turns and storms out of the common room.

Kakuzu's eyes narrow in slight annoyance as he turns and walks back to his room with Zetzu, Kisame and Sasori.

__________________________________________________

While on his way back to his cell, Kakuzu gets stopped by four men. They are, of course, the four men he had told to rape Hidan. He figures they are probably a little peeved at him for beating the shit out of them for doing what he told them too.

"What's the deal, Kakuzu?" the thin one asks. "We didn't do anything wrong."

"On the contrary," Kakuzu muses in a dreary tone, "I don't remember ever giving you permission to gag him..."

The men glare and a few grind their teeth, preparing for a fight. "You're a lier! What gives you the right to do all this to us anyway!?"

"I was just protecting my territory." Kakuzu says firmly. "Hidan now belongs to me."

He begins to walk away but tuns around just to mutter warningly, "Spread the word... if anyone ever touches him again, their life sentence may just be cut short."

__________________________________________________

The next morning there is a loud banging on Hidan's cell. He opens his eyes to see a guard glance down at a clipboard and ask in a very nasally voice, "Hidan?"

Hidan sits up nervously and grumbles, "What?"

Deidara, Itachi and Konan also glance up from their beds. The guard looks bored as he opens the cell and says, "You have to come with me. You have therapy this morning."

__________________________________________________

**Happy fourth of July!!!!!**

**Review please!!!!!!**

**Hopefully I'll update soon!**

**KeikoPanda102**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Here It Goes Again

Hidan is shown to a room very much resembling the room he had first been put in when he got to Kure-Ji-Kira. It was small and only had one metal table and two chairs in it. Hidan shivers as he enters because of the air conditioning blowing over the door. He takes a seat and as he does, Yamada enters the room with a smile.

"Good morning, Hidan." He says cheerfully.

Hidan rests his head in his hand and closes his eyes slightly as he grunts in response. He is still tired because he's not used to getting up very early and a little bit sore from being forced only a few days ago.

"How have you liked your first week in Kure-Ji-Kira?" Yamada asks.

Hidan is suddenly wide awake. He sits up and asks loudly, "It's been a fuckin' week already!?"

Yamada's smile widens. He writes something down on his clipboard as he says, "No... It's only been 4 days actually. I was testing if this place had already begun affected your comprehension of time. Apparently it hasn't. Did you watch the fireworks last night?"

Hidan remembers sitting on Kakuzu's lap as lights dance across his face. "Yeah... why?"

Yamada shrugs. "Just trying to make friendly conversation."

Hidan's eyes narrow. "I don't believe you... what do you want?"

Now Yamada looks up. "I just want to talk. You never said how you like it here?"

"It sucks balls here!" Hidan grumbles.

"Do you really think that..." Yamada asks, "...or are you just saying that because you were raped?"

Hidan stops. "How'd you know bout that?" he asks suspiciously.

Yamada just smiles. "I never even told Kakuzu to get you raped. I just told him to initiate you. The four guys were all his idea. It _was_ a great idea though, he has a talent I must say."

Hidan is taken aback. "Y-you told him... to initiate me?"

"Hidan, do you know how Kure-Ji-Kira is funded?"

Hidan is still reeling from the fact that Yamada is the reason he was raped. But now Yamada's words make him curious. He shakes his head.

"I'm not a wealthy man. I'm not the kind of rich brat who just up and decides to open a high security prison with his own money. And Kure-Ji-Kira is private, so we get no money from the government. Having said all that, I bet you're wondering where we get the money for all of this..."

"First of all, you should know that there are 728 camera's in Kure-Ji-Kira. 170 just in the shower room alone."

Hidan grits his teeth and clutches his fists in anger. He knows that this means he was being recorded when he was in the vulnerable position with those men. He felt bile in his mouth just at the thought. Yamada continues,

"Everything is recorded here. Then, I go to a special room and edit those tapes. When I think they have what I want, I upload them."

"What!?" Hidan yells. "Other bastards are seeing them!?"

Yamada's smile becomes slightly twisted as he says, "Yes. About 8 thousand people, I would estimate. That is our usual number." He then motions to a guard who brings him a laptop. He types a few things then turns the screen around to face Hidan.

Hidan is suddenly looking at a picture of himself. Though, not himself as he'd ever seen. This is a picture of Hidan on all fours, with a towel in his mouth, and with a huge cock getting pounded into him. The picture doesn't even show the other mans face. The focus seems to be on the look Hidan has on his face as he gets raped.

Hidan doesn't even notice, at first, anything else on the page. He tears his eyes away from himself and glances over the rest of the screen. At the top in big, in black and red letters, it says, "Kure-Ji-Kira."

At the bottom, it says, "enter."

As he watches, Yamada clicks the enter button. The page loads quickly. When it does Hidan sees a bunch of boxes with images of the other inmates in them. There are teaser trailers of sex between the inmates or buttons that have the names of specific couples. Over them they say, 'click to follow your favorite pair's story!' In the center, there is yet another picture of Hidan. Over his picture it says, 'Meet our newest addition, Hidan!' then under the picture it says, 'Click to pay and watch his entire initiation video! Just $11.99!'

Yamada glances at the screen and looks surprised and pleased. "Well look at that!" he says happily. "Just you're video alone got us almost one million hits! Congratulations!"

Hidan feels faint. He looks up at Yamada who's gaze doesn't flicker. His voice is steady as he closes the laptop and says,

"This...is how I pay for Kure-Ji-Kira."

He walks toward the door as Hidan falls back into the chair while staring blankly at the floor. He straightens his tie and says,

"I wish I had more time for your therapy, Hidan, but I have other matters to attend to at the moment. Have a nice day."

He walks out and a guard escorts a dazed Hidan back to his cell where he lays down on the bed and watched images of himself flash before his eyelids. He cannot sleep, he can only lay quietly until Tobi finds him a few hours later.

"Guys, guys! Hidan won't get up!" Tobi announces at the lunch table.

"What's wrong with him?" Konan asks.

Itachi looks down and says in his usually emotionless voice, "He had therapy this morning, remember?"

Kakuzu stands up. "Where is he?" He asks Tobi. Before Tobi can even answer, "24" he is walking toward the uke cells.

When he gets there he finds Hidan about to slice into his wrists. He grabs Hidan's wrists and slaps the razor to the floor.

"The hell are you doing? And where did you even get that?" Kakuzu asks as he pulls Hidan up off the bed and holds his limp body up.

"Guard gave it to me..." Hidan sniffs.

"What happened in therapy?" Kakuzu asks, scowling.

Hidan flinches. He stands up a little straighter as if just realizing the person who stopped him was Kakuzu. He tries to remain calm as he says,

"There are 1 million people who've seen my betrayal. It's all over that damned website!"

Kakuzu understands instantly. Yamada had told Hidan about Kure-Ji-Kira's 'funds.' It seemed Hidan hadn't taken it very well.

"Who did you betray?" he asks curiously.

Hidan looks up, tears almost welling in his eyes. "Jashin-sama. I've betrayed Jashin-sama."

"Why?" Kakuzu asks. The others had told him about Hidan's religion but they hadn't gone into specifics.

"I'm impure now! I'm dirty! Jashin will never forgive me!"

"Because... you had sex?" Kakuzu asks incredulously. Hidan just nods. Kakuzu sighs. He faces Hidan and slaps the Jashinist across the face. Hidan's eyes are wide and he can't move.

"Don't be a drama-queen! I hate little overly dramatic babies who make a huge deal out of little things. What does it matter if some people outside see you? You're never going outside again, there's nothing to worry about! And any religion where sex is a sin, is the worst religion ever. You are in prison for life, might as well have some fun." Kakuzu says firmly.

"What's fun about sex?" Hidan mumbles after Kakuzu's little rant. Kakuzu blanches.

"Are you kidding? What isn't fun about sex!?"

Hidan then looks up at him, honest confusion clouding his face. Kakuzu feels a bit of guilt for stealing this mans first time in such a horrible way.

"Oh..." he mutters. "Can I show you?"

Hidan's eyes widen. He backs away while stuttering, "N-no! I'll never do it again! It was already bad just doing it once! Stay away!"

Kakuzu ignores him and continues advancing toward the fearing albino. Kakuzu finds that he really likes the scared look in Hidan's eyes. He licks his lips under the mask just as he catches Hidan and tosses him over his shoulder. Hidan struggles as Kakuzu walks him down the halls of Kure-Ji-Kira. Finally he comes to a stop in front of a door. Kakuzu pulls out a key and opens the door. he walks in and throws Hidan onto a very soft bed. Hidan forgets about his situation for a moment and looks around.

He almost feels like he was taken to an expensive hotel. The room is decorated in a valentine fashion with deep reds and hearts everywhere. The bed is a canopy with satin red sheets and about 20 pillows near the head. Hidan notices a bar in the corner and in the other corner, a huge heart shaped hot tub, also red.

Kakuzu watches Hidan take in the 'red room' with intrigue. After a few minutes Hidan turns around to face him and asks loudly,

"What the hell kind of a prison IS this!?"

Kakuzu laughs. "This is the red room. There are two other rooms like it. The black room and the white room. They are each themed, though a little bit differently than this one. I'm sure you're thinking about it, there are 93 camera's in this room and 7 more in the bathroom a total of 100 in case you can't count."

Kakuzu makes his move while Hidan is still distracted. He grabs the unwilling uke and tosses him on the satin sheets smoothly. Then, in one swift motion, he rips off Hidan's jumpsuit, leaving him exposed to the cool air that permeates the room. Hidan tries to run. He makes it to the door but to his dismay, finds it locked. Kakuzu smirks as he holds up a key that is hanging from a loop of string.

As Hidan watches, Kakuzu reaches down and wraps the string, with the key, around his now hard member. He watches Hidan with those eyes of acid and says in a tempting voice,

"If you want the key... just come and get it."

Hidan looks from the door to the key to Kakuzu's aching shaft as if deciding which would be worse. He makes up his mind and walks forward, toward Kakuzu. When he is nearly in front of him Kakuzu says in a powerful voice,

"On your knees."

Hidan glares and wishes a million of the most painful deaths possible on this man in his head. But he does as he's told. He gets on his knees then slowly reaches for the key with one hand. In an instant it is snapped up and held in Kakuzu's hand. When Hidan tries to use the other hand to grab the key it is also hoisted over his head by Kakuzu. Hidan looks up at him, confused and frustrated. Kakuzu just answers with the same cold gaze and tone of voice as he says,

"You have to do it with your mouth."

Hidan clenches his jaw at first but when he just focusses on staring at the key and nothing else(as hard as that was to do), he leaned forward and grabbed the key hanging off the string. Hidan tries to pull the string off but at the angle he is at it won't budge. He jerks it desperately but stops then he hears Kakuzu's swift hiss. Kakuzu grabs both of Hidan's wrists in one hand and uses his free one to grab a hold of Hidan's soft white hair and pulls up. Hidan gulps.

"Maybe you should try a different approach? Say, a softer one?"

He lowers Hidan's head but doesn't take his hand away, it stays knotted in his hair. Hidan closes his eyes now as he uses his tongue to catch the string. He lifts it over Kakuzu's pulsating thickness accidentally skimming it with his hot, wet tongue. Hidan is tense as he slides the string off the end of Kakuzu's cock and holds it in his mouth. He takes a few deep breathes to calm himself then stands up. Kakuzu releases his arms and Hidan rushes to the door without looking back. He stops when he gets to the door and realizes...

...the door has no keyhole.

He turns around, anger flaring as he tosses the key to the ground and yells, "You lied! You cunt face!"

Kakuzu shrugs. "I'm a criminal, what did you expect?"

Hidan flicks Kakuzu off then turns around starts banging on the door and yelling for someone to open it.

"No one's gonna open it. It's designed to open only in the mornings."

Hidan stops and slides down the door. He curls himself into a ball trying to cover his nakedness. "Fine." he says, "I'll just sleep here until morning."

It doesn't take long for Hidan to start shivering. Kakuzu walks over and sits down next to Hidan. Hidan just glares until he notices that Kakuzu isn't doing anything and isn't going away.

"Whadda ya want?"

"Let's just have sex. I promise I will be gentle and I won't do anything you don't want-"

"Well, I don't want to have sex!" Hidan spits.

Kakuzu sighs. "You can't say I didn't try to be nice..."

He reaches down and grabs a struggling Hidan. He carries him over to the bed where he throws him down and takes off his mask. He places his entire body over Hidan's and kisses him roughly.

Kakuzu was very prepared for a struggle but, the second his lips touch Hidan's, the younger man relaxes. He even opens his mouth a little and closes his eyes. Kakuzu pushes his tongue into the warm cavern and slides it across Hidan's tongue. Hidan even moans. This is when Kakuzu pulls away.

"Who are you and where did Hidan go?"

Hidan's face is flushed and he glares as he says defiantly, "You tasted better than I thought you would..."

Kakuzu is taken back by the obvious, blindingly honest answer. Then he smiles and asks, "Does that mean you'll let me fuck you?"

Kakuzu watches as Hidan puts on an unbelievably adorable face and turns away, blushing and mutters, "Just this once..."

Kakuzu instantly reaches into a drawer on the table next to the bed. He pulls out a tube of strawberry flavored lube. Hidan closes his eyes as Kakuzu squeezes some of the lubrication onto his fingers. He cringes when he feels something poke outside his previously abused anus. Kakuzu's fingers go in easily. It isn't painful but bad memories make Hidan cringe and bite his lip as the fingers go in deep in an attempt to spread him.

While doing this Kakuzu places a soft kiss on Hidan's lips. Then his mouth moves down, gently caressing the delicate skin and sending shivers down Hidan's spine. This technique makes it so when a third and even forth finger is added, Hidan doesn't feel the need to be afraid. He even makes a whimpering sound when the fingers are removed.

Hidan clenches when he feels Kakuzu's hardness placed carefully at his entrance. he was trying desperately not to think of how big it was. That was hard to do, seeing as he had been licking it only a few minutes ago.

"Relax." Kakuzu commands. Hidan opens his eyes to look into lust filled green orbs. He finds them mesmerizing for a different reason than he had that time in the shower. Now Kakuzu's bright green eyes were calming and made him almost seem trustworthy. He nods and begins breathing deeply, trying to do as Kakuzu had commanded. After a few minutes Kakuzu pushes himself in.

"Aah!" Hidan cries out.

"Hold on to me." Kakuzu says in a soothing voice. Hidan does as he says. He wraps his arms around Kakuzu's neck as the man pushes farther inside of him. Hidan knows he shouldn't be this afraid, he even knew it didn't hurt like it had the first time, he was just scared. Afraid that maybe Kakuzu would decide to stop being gentle. Afraid he might start pounding into Hidan and abusing him like those men had.

When Kakuzu thrusts suddenly it surprises Hidan. What surprises Hidan more is when Kakuzu wraps a hand around Hidan's member and begins stroking it in time with the thrusts. Hidan is now crying out for different reasons.

"Faster!" he growls.

This was what Kakuzu had been waiting for. He starts increasing his speed and force. Hidan then jerks involuntarily. Kakuzu thrusts there again and Hidan digs his fingers into Kakuzu's back, trying to find an escape for the pleasure. His voice was almost gone from his screaming but he has enough left to cry out in ecstasy when he cums all over Kakuzu's hand.

With that invitation, Kakuzu releases inside Hidan then pulls out of him quickly. He looks down at Hidan, panting and nearly dead from exhaustion and he smirks. He goes into the bathroom to clean up. When he walks bak he finds Hidan sitting up, looking worn out and satisfied. Hs hair, usually slicked back perfectly, falls out of place all over his face. Kakuzu tosses him a towel and says,

"Can you clean yourself, or do I have to do it for you again?"

Hidan glares and stands up, grabbing the towel. He slams the bathroom door and Kakuzu lays back on the bed. After about one minute the main door opens and Yamada is standing in the doorway, smiling.

"That went rather well, didn't it?"

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**There was kind of a wait for this chapter, wasn't there? I'm sorry... but I mean! It was worth it right!? XD**

**I'm amazing at how many people like this story. I mean, I know it's an ok story idea but I didn't think my writing was that good... **

**Please ma'am, it'd be mighty fine of ya to press that little ol REVIEW button right there for me real quick! Well thanks ya!**

**KeikoPanda102**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Come On Get Higher

"That went rather well, didn't it?"

Kakuzu glares. Yamada ignores the glare and walks into the room, still smiling.

"No? Hm, it did lack a certain passion, didn't it?"

"What do you want?" Kakuzu asks, ignoring Yamada's statement. "I did what I promised."

"Why didn't you take him to the black room instead?" Yamada asks flatly.

Kakuzu face darkens. "I wanted him to feel what pleasure was like for once."

"I can already tell he responds more to pain than pleasure. Next time, you will take him to the black room." Yamada commands. He then turns toward the door and walks over to it. He stops when Kakuzu asks quietly,

"...and what if I don't?"

Yamada smirks. "Then I'm sure someone else will." He slams the door as he leaves.

Kakuzu squeezes a pillow in his fist then throws it forcefully against the wall. "Fuck!"

"What?" Hidan asks as he steps out of the bathroom with his jumpsuit only covering the bottom half of his body.

Kakuzu's face remains blank. "Nothing. We should get some sleep."

Hidan shrugs and bounces over to the bed. He jumps on it and snuggles under the soft covers. Kakuzu watches him and with a sigh, turns his back and faces the opposite direction as Hidan.

He tries to fall asleep. Hidan's steady breathing distracts him. To make matters worse, in the middle of the night Hidan wraps his entire body around Kakuzu.

_Typical... _Kakuzu thinks as he tries harder to fall asleep while Hidan's snores reverberate through the room.

In the morning the bell wakes Hidan up. He groans and holds on tighter to Kakuzu who tries to get out of the bed instantly. He pulls himself out of Hidan's grip which makes Hidan fall onto the floor.

"Shit!" he yells. "Why'd you do that, bastard!?"

Kakuzu looks down at him with those piercing lime eyes and says in a disapproving tone, "You wouldn't let go."

Hidan's eyes widen and he blushes. "I'd never slept with someone before." he mumbles as he stands up.

Kakuzu walks toward the door that had just automatically opened then looks back at Hidan asking, "Are you coming?"

Hidan glances at the bathroom and walks toward it saying, "I'll catch up later."

Kakuzu raises an eyebrow then warns before he walks out,

"Just don't stay in here to long. Someone might come in here and rape you."

"As if anyone could!" Hidan yells as he walks into the bathroom and closes the door.

About 20 minutes later Hidan walks into the common room. Kakuzu looks up at him. He notices that, while everyone else zips their jumpsuits up, Hidan's is unzipped, exposing his chest and a necklace with a strange symbol on it. His hair is slicked back and looks slightly moist. Hidan's face is also a little flushed.

"Did you take another shower?" Kakuzu asks as Hidan sits down next to him.

''Er... yeah. What's it to you?" Hidan says as he reaches out and steals a roll from Tobi. He ignores Tobi's whining as he bites into it lazily.

"Why not just take a shower tonight?" Kakuzu asks.

Hidan flinches. "I'm never goin' in that Jashin damned hell hole again!"

"So... you're never going to shower again?"

"Nope!"

"You're going to stink." Kakuzu informs him bluntly.

"Don't care." Hidan answers as he takes another bite.

Kakuzu sighs. "What if I promised to protect you?"

Hidan snorts. "I don't even trust you. You're a criminal, remember?"

Kakuzu then grabs Hidan's chin and lifts it up while staring into pink orbs. "What if I had an ulterior motive for wanting to protect you?"

Hidan jerks his face away, blushing slightly and muttering, "Whatever..."

Suddenly a loudspeaker comes on and Hidan recognizes Yamada's voice. He sounds cheerful yet serious as he announces,

"As some of you may know, tonight is visiting night. Those of you expected to have visitor's coming are as follows..." He begins reading a short list of names. Hidan doesn't hear anyone familiar until, near the end, Yamada says,

"Uchiha Itachi." in a clear, unwavering voice.

He glances at the dark individual at the end of the table but doesn't notice any distinct changes in his posture that would indicate that he was affected by the announcement. Hidan screws up his face wondering who could possibly want to see Itachi. He killed everyone he knew for jashin's sake!

Kakuzu could see the thoughtfulness on Hidan's face and puts the pieces together. He leans down and whispers,

"There is a visitor's day once a month. Every single month, Itachi's only younger brother comes, and every time, he tries to kill Itachi. Even knowing this, Itachi continues to go see him, every time. He won't talk about it. He leaves with that same expression on his face and comes back with that expression on his face, like he's completely unaffected. But, he always demands sex right afterwords. In the black room..."

"What's in the black room?" Hidan asks, not bothering to lower his voice.

"You'll find out soon enough." Zetsu smirks.

Hidan is confused but more than that he is curious. Despite the foreboding feeling this 'black room' give him, he can't help but wonder what it is like. He turns to Kakuzu and asks innocently,

"When can we go to the black room?"

Kisame nearly spits his drink out. He tries to cover it up by coughing but no one misses it. Sasori raises an eyebrow at the shark man. Kisame shrugs. "What? I was surprised! He doesn't even know what it is!" he whispers.

Kakuzu is also startled. He looks away and mutters, "Not tonight, obviously. But soon..."

Hidan nods then he yawns. "What is there to fucking do around here?" he asks.

"You could do art, un." Deidara says happily.

"Nah." Hidan waves his hand, "I suck at art."

"You can read." Pain offers.

Hidan makes a face and scrunches his nose. Kakuzu rolls his eyes. "Watch tv?" he asks.

"Boring!" Hidan says.

"There are board games!" Tobi throws in.

Hidan's eyes light up. " Let's all play monopoly!" He says excitedly.

The table groans in response.

"What's wrong with monopoly?" he pouts.

"There isn't anything wrong with the game itself," Kisame says, "It's just that _some _people end up taking it too seriously!" he jerks his head at Kakuzu as he says 'some.'

Kakuzu shoots back a glare. Hidan laughs.

"Maybe we can get the red room tonight?" Sasori says to Deidara suddenly.

Deidara's answer to that is to place a sweet kiss on Sasori's lips.

"If Hidan and Kakuzu don't take it first." Sasori teases.

Konan suddenly speaks up. "Hidan and Kakuzu... It kinda flows off the tongue doesn't it? It just sounds right."

"It's nearly dinner time." Kakuzu scowls. "Shouldn't Itachi get going soon?"

Itachi stands up immediately leaving the others at the table to decide if they should risk starting a game of monopoly.

__________________________________________________

Itachi waits silently in one of the visitors room. His gaze is blank as he stares endlessly at the wall. He sighs and looks down thinking, _Sasuke is late today... maybe he has finally stopped coming..._

Suddenly a boy who looks like an exact copy of Itachi burst into the room. He has the same deep eyes and pitch black hair. His isn't long like Itachi's, though, and the look on his face is anger instead of the calm look on Itachi's. Uchiha Sasuke rushes at Itachi with a yell. Itachi smirks before grabbing Sasuke and pinning him against the wall with one hand around his neck.

Sasuke cringes and glares up at his older brother, a slight red tinting his eyes. Itachi leans down and whispers in Sasuke's ear,

"Foolish little brother..."

Sasuke's eyes go wide and he struggles. Itachi releases him and backs away. Sasuke rubs his neck and glares.

"You were late today. How come?" Itachi asks.

Itachi doesn't miss the slight blush hidden beneath a glare as Sasuke yells, "Shut up! You don't deserve to know anything!"

He runs at Itachi and the elder dodges easily. He grabs Sasuke's wrist and flips him onto the ground in one swift motion. While pinning his little brother to the ground Itachi asks,

"Did you're girlfriend hold you up maybe? What's her name?"

"His name!" Sasuke spits then instantly his eyes widen at the fact that he said something he hadn't meant to. Itachi chuckles.

"I see..."

Sasuke growls. "Don't mock me! You're in jail right? How many times have you been fucked by men in here!?"

"Quite a few, actually..." Itachi muses as he releases Sasuke and stands up. "You're still not strong enough to kill me, Sasuke. You should just give up."

Sasuke stands up as well. His face wary.

"Tell me why you didn't kill me!" Sasuke demands.

Itachi sighs. "You ask the same question every time you come here. The answer always remains the same."

Sasuke sneers then he walks towards the door. Before he leaves Itachi mutters, "Please don't come here again little brother."

Sasuke turns around. His face matching that of his brothers as he says,

"You say that every time. It hasn't worked yet."

Sasuke walks out of he room leaving Itachi smoldering with intensity at their meeting. The same intensity he has to relieve every time after he sees his brother.

He stands up to leave himself but then a guard walks in and says, "Don't leave yet. There is another man here wishing to visit with you. He registered last minute."

Itachi scowls in confusion but sits back down as a boy with short blonde hair and clear blue eyes walks into the room. He glares at Itachi as he sits down. Something about this boys glare makes Itachi smirk. He crosses his arms as he asks,

"And you are...?"

"Uzumaki Naruto! Nice to meet you... well, not really, but you get it." the blond says loudly.

"Have I ever met you before Uzumaki Naruto?" Itachi asks, wondering if this person is just unintelligent.

"I'm... a friend of Sasuke's." Naruto says softly. "I followed him here because he wouldn't tell me where he would always go off to! He thought he shook me but I figured out where he was going and came here myself."

"Aaaah..." Itachi says thoughtfully. "Sasuke's friend you say? You must be the reason he was late today. It is nice to meet you."

"Ptff!" Naruto says as he leans back in the chair. "Nice to meet me, huh? Whatever. I just came here to ask you some stuff about Sasuke, that's all."

Itachi smiles. "Before you do that can you tell me a little bit more about yourself. As Sasuke's older brother I want to make sure he's keeping good company and look out for him."

Naruto's eyes grow wide. "Look out for him!? Is that what you were doing when you killed everyone you sick bastard!? Sasuke is depressed, angry and verging on suicidal because of you yet you claim you want to look out for him!? Who the fuck do you think you are?"

Itachi flinches briefly at these words. He smiles sadly when he looks up and says, "I honestly do care about Sasuke. If you believe nothing more of what I say at least believe that much."

Naruto just stares at him with narrowed eyes. "You look like him, you know." he says quietly a moment later.

"We are brothers after all." Itachi answers.

Naruto shakes his head. "No, it isn't just that. Your expressions are almost exactly the same. It's strange. You aren't really like I thought you'd be..."

"What did you think I'd be like?"

Naruto waves his hands as he says, "You know, crazy and stuff."

Itachi laughs. "You aren't what I'd expect for my brother's lover either."

Naruto blushes deeply. "I-I'm not-" he stops and looks up. "Did Sasuke tell you?"

"No... but he did let slip something about his 'girlfriend' being more of a 'boyfriend'." Itachi mutters. Then his eyes go soft as he says even quieter, "Does he ever talk about it?"

Naruto's gaze is lowered as he answers, "No... that's why I'm here. I want to know more about it. He won't let me in! He says I won't understand but I will! I will! I just want to help him but I don't know how."

"I'm sorry." Itachi nearly whispers. "I'm sorry about all the pain i've caused but I'm afraid I can't tell you any more."

Naruto glares and stands up. "Then I guess i'll just go."

He walks toward the door and Itachi says, "It really was nice to meet you Uzumaki Naruto. I'm glad my brother's found someone like you."

Naruto nods before exiting, leaving Itachi with painful thoughts that he knows can only be resolved one way. He walks out of the visitor's room and straight to the black room. Waiting for him inside is Kisame. When he enters, Kisame stands up and rushes over to him. He embraces the Uchiha and, even though Itachi's face betrays no emotion, his heart is heavy with guilt.

"You should just tell him." Kisame advises.

Itachi glares. "It's none of your business. Now let's do what we are here for."

Kisame sighs and walks toward Itachi with disgusted lust in his eyes...

__________________________________________________

Hidan lies in his bed, thinking about what had happened in the red room the previous night.

_Hmph... _he thinks as he turns over, _If that's what sex is like, then it's nothing special. I'm never gonna displease Jashin-sama by doing it ever again. _

Though Hidan did quite like the way Kakuzu had kissed him. He maybe wouldn't mind doing that some more...

__________________________________________________

**Yeah... sub plot! kinda... whatever. I feel the need to put a hint of SasuNaru in like, all my stories... so... that's why. I'll work on the Kakuzu/Hidan sex. Hopefully I will feel more inspired when they are in the black room!**

**Review if you don't want me to kill someone!(maybe Itachi perhaps)**

**KeikoPanda102**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Dear Hidan, Count Me In

"What are ya starin' at!?" Hidan growls after ten minutes of having Kakuzu stare at him without saying anything. Kakuzu scowls.

"Why don't you zip up your your jumpsuit all the way?" he asks and points to Hidan's exposed chest.

Hidan sneers. "I don't wanna? What do you care anyways?"

Kakuzu's scowls darken and he points behind him now saying, "You are drawing attention to yourself. I can't protect you all the time."

"I can protect myself!" Hidan yells and storms out of the common room. He doesn't notice a man leave the same time he does. Hidan sits and fumes behind a staircase until a man comes out of the darkness and asks,

"Are you ok?"

Hidan stares at him nervously. This man reminds him of the faceless, nameless men who raped him. His smile is just as deceitful and humorless, his eyes just as lust filled.

"I don't think Kakuzu has been treating you very well has he? I haven't seen you in the showers either. Is everything ok?"

"I'm fine. Back the fuck off fag!" Hidan growls.

"You don't have to be so mean," The man says as he inches closer. "I'll treat ya real nice."

Hidan thinks about running but his pride won't let him. The man reaches out and caresses Hidan's face with a sticky hand. Hidan slaps it away and pushes the man back. The man just grabs Hidan's wrists and pins him to the ground. He starts grinding down his hips and Hidan's almost barfs when he feels his bulging manhood through his jumpsuit.

"I'll fucking kill you!" Hidan yells as he fight to throw the man off. The man just snickers and unzips Hidan's jumpsuit all the way down.

It is at this point that Kakuzu speaks up saying, "If you want my help, Hidan, you've got to beg."

The man is spreading his legs as Hidan stares at Kakuzu leaning against the far wall. Kakuzu's gentle kisses fill his mind suddenly as the man unclothes his cock and places it at Hidan's hole.

"Kakuzu help! Please!" He yells.

In an instant Kakuzu grabs the man by the scruff of his neck tosses him onto the stairs. The man yelps and runs away while Kakuzu walks toward Hidan, staring down at him with a mountain of confidence shining in his eyes. He watches as Hidan zips his jumpsuit up, then he frowns when the zipper stops right over Hidan's belly button.

"Didn't you just learn anything!?" he growls as Hidan stands up and brushes himself off.

Hidan smiles and says, "I learned that you're always there to protect me!" then he reaches up and kisses Kakuzu through his mask. Kakuzu lets a deep rumble run through his chest.

"What about when I'm not there?" he says, trying to keep his voice calm.

Hidan walks away with his back toward Kakuzu as he waves behind him and says, "I'll worry bout that when it happens!"

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A few days later Hidan is just waking up when Kakuzu drags him out of his cell by the scruff of his neck. While pulling him unceremoniously down the hallway he says loudly over Hidan shouts of complaint,

"We are going to the black room. Now."

Hidan stops struggling for a moment to looks up at Kakuzu with a perplexed expression.

"Why now?" he asks.

Kakuzu sighs. "I've just been thinking and..." he tosses Hidan inside a room and before Hidan's eyes can adjust to the light says, "...Yamada is right. You will react more to pain then pleasure."

Hidan looks around at the room he has been tossed it. Everything about it fit it's namesake. Every wall was covered in black paint. Every lampshade covered in black cotton. Any cloth visible in the room was either black satin or some type of leather. It was dark in another meaning as well, it had no windows, just like the red room but it seemed to be lit by only a few flickering candles places precariously around the room and some old, barely glowing lamps that made the shadows dancing around the instruments in the room all the more terrifying then they already were.

That was what the black room was filled with, you see. Some might call them instruments, or tools, maybe devices. It was all same same if you put one particular word in front of all these other terms; torture.

The apparatus in this room were also black, at least, the parts of them that weren't metal. They were spread about the room in an orderly fashion. Hidan got the feeling Yamada had placed them, as he seemed a very orderly person. These mechanisms, if you could name them so, varied in size. Some were merely whips and chains while others were of a larger scale. The ones that Hidan was most nervous about were the one's he couldn't even identify. There were a lot of those. They scared Hidan because he really thought he knew a lot about torture devices, he had used them before. Torture was great, he loved it. When someone else was the one getting it. He had a nagging feeling that would not be the case tonight. He was right.

"Did you even realize that this was what was in the black room?" Kakuzu asks in a meaningful tone.

Hidan stands up apprehensively. "I had an idea."

"Yet you still wanted to come?" Kakuzu's eyes narrow and the bright green seems to shine in the darkness. Hidan doesn't notice his own shivering as he replies,

"I- I- didn't-"

Kakuzu cuts him off.

"It's always kept ice cold in here. Apparently it makes you even the tiniest bit numb during..." he looks around then back at Hidan. He doesn't say anything but waits to see what Hidan will do. He doesn't have to wait long.

Hidan lets out a nervous laugh. "S-so... now i've seen the black room! I, um, guess we can go n-now...?"

Kakuzu is sneering at him with a combination of pity and amusement. He observes as Hidan glances behind him at the open door. When the jashinist makes a run for, he is ready. He trips him, then drags his contesting body to the far side of the room. He clasps one hand in iron shackles but before he can fit the other into a matching restraint, Hidan tries to land a punch at his gut. His fist makes contact with Kakuzu.

"Shit!" Hidan curses as he feels a bone break in his knuckle. His eyes water a bit as Kakuzu smirks and secures the now injured hand. "What the fuck are you wearing, a metal vest!?"

Kakuzu lifts up his shirt to expose a set of neatly toned, muscular abs and no metal whatsoever. "Nope. It's naturally that hard. Like rock." he says as he walks over to the door.

He stares across the room into defiant pink eyes that glare through the darkness at him as he slowly closes the door. As soon as it sealed, there is a loud _ker-clank _sound alerting the two inside the room that they have been locked in.

Hidan swallows as Kakuzu walks towards him deliberately then stutters,

"H-how many camera's are in this room?"

Kakuzu's gaze doesn't flicker as he answers in a light voice, "Quite a few." He then moves other behind a machine and starts doing something Hidan can't see. "But you don't need to worry yourself about those camera's."

"Th-the hell I won't! I'm gonna be seen all over the fucking internet!"

Kakuzu lets out a dark chuckle as he moves back closer to Hidan. Now Hidan's shiver has nothing to do with the cold. Kakuzu is holding a large whip in his hands. Hidan tenses when Kakuzu bends down and locks Hidan's legs in cuffs just like his hands. Kakuzu then slides one hand from Hidan's foot slowly up his covered leg. Hidan bites his lip as the hand moves upward until he feels flesh touch flesh near his left nipple. Kakuzu grazes over it delicately before pinching it firmly then pulling and twisting in one motion.

"Bitch!" Hidan hisses breathily. Kakuzu smirks then grabs the other nipple and twirls both mercilessly making Hidan bite his lip and bend his back out to lessen the sting. After a few minute Kakuzu releases Hidan's abused buds. Hidan lets out a low exhale until Kakuzu reaches down and grabs Hidan's zipper and pulls down on it while whispering haughtily,

"If you want your body exposed, why not let everything show?"

Hidan tries to chuckle but it comes out sounding more like a whimper as he says, "What, is this punishment or some shit?"

Kakuzu stops the zipper near Hidan's crotch then answers, "Depends on who you ask. I don't think it's a punishment. Yamada on the other hand says that the reason he built this room in the first place was to make sure his criminals were being punished enough." Kakuzu steps back for a moment and cranks something that hoists Hidan in the air and against a wall. The steel digs into Hidan's body fiercely and he glares as Kakuzu stares at him, looking thoughtful. He reaches down suddenly and stands up holding a long, thick knife. A look of pure dread flashes across Hidan's face. Kakuzu chuckles as he holds the blade up against Hidan's pale chest and says,

"Don't worry, I just needed something to get these close off with." he slices through one sleeve of Hidan's already gaping jumpsuit. The pieces of torn cloth fall to the floor as Hidan is slowly disrobed. Every now and then the blade would slice Hidan's emaciated skin and he would cringe. A few of these times Kakuzu would notice the "mistake" and make a small exclamation of, "whoops."

When Hidan was finally entirely bare Kakuzu put down the knife. He then picks up the whip. In one swift motion he swings it and it connects with Hidan's chest.

"Dammit!" Hidan curses, not prepared for the first blow. He gets ready for a second strike but it doesn't come. Instead he feels the cool leather of the whip caresses the mark it had just made on his previously untouched skin. He looks up into calm green eyes. In a matter of seconds Kakuzu answers Hidan's silently asked question. _Why did you stop?_

"There is more than one kind of torture."

He drops the whip then and reaches instead, for Hidan himself. He unchains him quickly and before Hidan can ask why he says brusquely, "I want you in a better position for this part."

He leads Hidan over to one of the contraption's that Hidan didn't know about. Hidan didn't get a good look at it before he was getting tied to it. His arms are hoisted into the air the same time his legs are spread and and are secured in place. The ropes bracing his arms and legs were slightly softer than the iron but had an annoying scratchy feel to them. Hidan shuffles discontentedly as the freezing temperature of the room and his lack of clothing makes him shiver. He especially doesn't enjoy the feeling of air on his open entrance. He was somehow bent over and spreading his legs at the same time. He couldn't turn to see where Kakuzu went or what he was doing. He suddenly hears a humming sound coming from behind him. He wishes he could see what it is but he just settle for asking uncomfortably,

"Wh-what is that? Kakuzu?"

No answer. Hidan's hand aches and his heart beats fast as the humming sound continues. It seems as if the sound is coming closer but then it suddenly stops. The next thing Hidan feels are Kakuzu's rough hands sliding along his hips and up his chest. They find his nipples once again but this time he clasps something hard and biting onto the pink buds. After Hidan's sharp intake of breath he notices there is a small chain hanging in between the two clips. When Kakuzu pulls on it, even lightly, a spike of libidinous pain shoots through him and straight to his manhood. It somehow turns him on more than any gentle touch could.

The humming noise starts again. Hidan feels a smooth, vibrating object placed on his back casually. It sends vibrations down his entire body as Kakuzu slowly moves it toward his rear. Hidan braces himself for a rough entry but Kakuzu just massages his shaft and balls with it, making Hidan moan loudly. When he feels like he is unbelievably close to coming he starts letting out ungodly sounds. Kakuzu suddenly, without turning off the vibrator, places his thumb over Hidan's tip. Hidan almost foams at the mouth from wanting to come.

"Here's where the real torture begins." Kakuzu mutters before inserting a small needle-like object into the urethra and clasping a soft fabric around Hidan's member and sack. Hidan is now stuck with the horrible feeling of being unable to cum when he desperately, intensely needs to feel the sweet pleasure of release.

To be continued...

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**My inspiration has returned! you should all really celebrate this miracle... go on! celebrate dammit! XD jk! love you all reviewers especially!**

**Um... that means you should review now... **

**KeikoPanda102**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Hot

Now Hidan is in an unbelievably painful position. He can't understand how Kakuzu could do this to him. He had fucked him, gone against his religion and against his god and what does he get in return? He gets to be tortured. But... was torture supposed to feel this good?

Hidan just couldn't resist how the adrenaline pumped through his body and the pain mixed with the pleasure in such a naughty concoction of unadulterated passion. Hidan was freezing, being toyed with and to top it all off being forced to go against nature itself by not cumming when he desperately needed to. Suddenly Hidan smells something sweet and bitter wafting through the air. Kakuzu walks in his line of sight and holds a very sticky, wet looking object. Hidan tries to ignore the nagging shape of the object but he has an idea that this thing will soon be put inside him. He swallows the little saliva left in his dry mouth.

"This," Kakuzu says as he raises the dripping vibrator, "is covered in a very powerful aphrodisiac used by chinese doctors."

"Why even bother explainin' it?" Hidan grumbles and looks away. He sounded annoyed but secretly he was glad to have something to distract from the pain near his groin.

Kakuzu smirks. "Very well. If you're going to be an ass about it, I'll just skip to the good part." He walks back around and without warning, shoves the instrument into Hidan's hole. Hidan howls when a wave of familiar agony crashes through his body. He hangs his head and pants as his entire body begins to feel inappropriately warm.

He groans when the warmth spreads to his bound manhood and the restraints seem to tighten around his length. Kakuzu chooses this time to start pushing the dildo in further.

"Nooooo!" Hidan moans as the device goes inside to the hilt. It fills him and finds the farthest place it can go inside him. Kakuzu then starts to spin it, making the small ridges rub against the walls of his anus. They brush against his sweet spot suddenly and Hidan arches his back and screams,

"OH GOD!"

Kakuzu stops and grabs Hidan's cheeks in one hand forcing him to look behind him. A smirk is spread across his face tightening the stitches on his mouth as he says mockingly,

"Hidan, Hidan, Hidan... Did you just say _god_?"

Hidan's eyes go wide and he seems to forget about everything else. All remaining color is drained from his face when he realizes what he'd done. He stares at Kakuzu's smirking face then looks away and starts stuttering,

"I-it was a mistake! I-I- it was the drug and t-the ahhh-!" Kakuzu presses the on button on the vibrator suddenly. A wave of pleasure surfs through Hidan's seriously over stimulated body. He cries out long and powerful. It's almost becomes a shriek when the vibrations reach his prostate and tease it playfully. Kakuzu continues this for 5 minutes before turning the vibrator off. He doesn't remove it, though, leaving Hidan filled with the hard, long object still deep inside him.

Kakuzu walks around and stands in front of Hidan's face. He lifts the jashinists collapsed head with one hand.

Hidan is nearly passed out. He has no more energy left in him to fight back or even to glare. He can barely keep his eyes open. A thin line of saliva trickles out of his mouth as he tries to breathe in rasps. Kakuzu uses his thumb to wipe it away. Hidan closes his eyes at the gentle touch.

"...punish... m-me..." Hidan whispers faintly. So faintly, in fact, that Kakuzu doesn't even hear it at first. He jerks Hidan's chin up roughly and ignores the whimper he earns as he asks,

"What did you say?"

"Punish me dammi- *cough cough cough*" Hidan begins coughing harshly and blood seeps out the corner of his mouth. Kakuzu wipes it away too, muttering,

"Side effect of the drug, you'll have a sore throat too... Why do you want me to punish you?"

Hidan's breathing is labored for a moment before he answers slowly, "...I betrayed... Lord... Ja-Jashin..."

Kakuzu is silent for a moment before saying, "You know what's good for a sore throat?"

Hidan glances up, perplexed and curious, though suddenly afraid when he sees a dark gleam in those deep emerald eyes. Kakuzu pulls one rope and Hidan isn't hooked to the contraption anymore. He collapses to the ground, only to whimper as the cool stone floor meets his searing flesh and a flash of pain reminds him that he still hadn't cum, and still had a dildo in his ass. Not to mention he caught himself with his broken hand on accident.

Before he can look up at Kakuzu, his seme grabs him by his hair and lifts him up just enough so Hidan is now face to crotch with Kakuzu's rock hard manhood. Hidan's eyes widen as he stares at the impeccable piece of manliness and a soothing fear spreads through his stomach. He loves the fear, just like he loves the pain.

Kakuzu is not smirking as he says, "Sucking cock is unbelievably good for a sore throat. Now, are you going to do it, or will I have to make you?"

Hidan takes a moment to contemplate it. Technically, oral sex was sex in his book, something forbidding by his religion and something he had not participated in for his entire life before coming to this hell hole of a prison. _But, _Hidan thinks, _I've already disrespected Jashin-sama so much, I don't think I can do much worse. Besides... I need to be punished!_

He latches his lips onto Kakuzu's length swiftly, sliding his tongue along the tip. He sucks lightly then continues placing fragile kisses on the pulsating dick, ignoring his own need. He sucks the tip of it with his mouth wrapped around it but then Kakuzu growls, "Suck cock like a man!" and he grabs the back of Hidan's head and pushes it forward so his cock slams into the warm confines of Hidan's mouth. Hidan struggles against gagging as Kakuzu begins bobbing his head back and forth to create a sweet friction for himself. Hidan moans from discomfort but that only makes Kakuzu groan and go harder and faster. He rocks his hips and the tip of his member reaches the back of Hidan's abused throat. Hidan's muscles constrict involuntarily and send waves of tight, hot pleasure through Kakuzu. He becomes rougher, mouth fucking Hidan to within an inch of his life. Hidan's eyes roll back in his head, he can hardly breathe and then to make it worse Kakuzu reaches back and starts fucking him once again with the vibrator. Tears roll down his cheeks as he feels Kakuzu's gonads constrict and prepares himself for a face full of warm, sticky liquid.

Kakuzu moans uninhibitedly as he rides out his orgasm. Halfway through, he throws Hidan onto the floor just to shoot his seed over his chest and face. When he opens his eyes after a few moments to regain his strength he looks upon a sight to behold; Hidan, spread on the floor, nude, covered in cum with a lot also leaking out his open mouth. His hair disheveled and laying about him in disarray, his eyes filled with a lust so powerful Kakuzu would swear he had to be the devils angel, sent down from heaven's hell just to smite him.

He was smote. He was done. He had lost. He was sunk, he was humbled, he was dead last, he was the loser... and it was all Hidan's fault. Hidan with his unique features that all seem so foreign in the light of the candles in the black room of doom. His bright eyes, like the pink of the sky at dusk, the pure white skin and hair, both softer than anything should be allowed to be in a prison, even in the real world. His ass, so ripe for the taking and perfectly proportioned, just for him. Hidan was all his. No one was going to take him. Not prison thugs, not Yamada, not anyone! Kakuzu would make his mark on Hidan so no one would dare touch him ever, ever again.

_Make my mark...?_ Kakuzu thinks, suddenly struck by an idea. He walks away from a nearly passed out Hidan who seemed to be sucking in the air as if it were the last on earth, and over to a wall where hung a few metal poles and rods and sticks. He grabbed a particularly sharp looking one, then holds it over the fire until it is red hot. He then walks back over to Hidan and lets the hot metal hover over a spot right above where Hidan's heart would be, then brings it down to meet soft skin. Hidan arches his back and struggles, crying out in pain.

"No! Shit! It hurts Kakuzu, it hurts!"

"Sssshh..." Kakuzu mutters as he secures Hidan to the floor quickly and continues his work. He uses the poker to draw a perfect heart, about the size of a silver dollar, and inside it, a small _K, _for Kakuzu. He smiles, sure that, now, Hidan must belong to him.

When he is finished, he ignores Hidan's whimpers and tosses a bucket of water on him. Hidan soon goes from sweating puddles to shivering on the floor. Kakuzu walks back with a smaller bucket, this time filled with ice cubes. He places one on top of the fresh burn he just made and Hidan's shivering intensifies.

"Are you cold?" He asks.

"D-dumbass question!' Hidan snaps back. Kakuzu smirks, happy that Hidan got back his fighting spirit. What fun would it be if he were broken!?

"Oh, I think you like the cold." Kakuzu says as he traces the ice cube down Hidan's flat stomach and around his arousal. Hidan moans as Kakuzu takes out the vibrator slowly. It is just replaced by one, two, three large ice cubes. Hidan finds the feeling odd, not uncomfortable, simply odd. Especially when they leak out after melting sufficiently.

As Hidan focusses on all his pain and pleasure, Kakuzu tends to the wound he just made, making sure nothing goes wrong and Hidan is ok. He even finds himself leaning down every now and then and placing fragile kisses on Hidan's lips, chest, nose, anywhere he can reach. Hidan doesn't notice this, he is still upset over everything that seemed to happen to him since he got to Kure-Ji-Kira.

He glances up suddenly, at Kakuzu, a scowl making his green eyes narrowed. Not all that happened at Kure-Ji-Kira was bad, Hidan supposed...

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**We're NOT done with the black room yet folks! Stay tuned! Erm, don't know when I'll update... hopefully soon. As soon as possible at least. It all has to do with my mood honestly... Aint that a depressing thought? XD**

**Reviews help! seriously... they help A LOT.**

**KiekoPanda102**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: Killer Queen

Kakuzu looks down at Hidan laying in his lap. The silver haired man is sweating profusely and whimpering as tons of feelings invade his mind. The pain from the instrument blocking his manhood, the freezing cold of the room and the ice Kakuzu put inside him make him thrash around, trying to find a way to make them go away. He doesn't even have enough energy left to focus in on the burn Kakuzu gave him. He has no idea what it is, or if it even has a shape. He wonders why Kakuzu suddenly gave it to him? He shrugs mentally and thinks it was probably just for torture.

"Hidan, if you don't stop moving around like that I'm going to get hard again." Kakuzu says. Hidan wiggles more, directly on top of his member, as if he hadn't heard him at all.

Kakuzu moans when his length gets steadily stiffer as Hidan's ass brushes against it and the sound of Hidan's panting reaches his ears. Soon he can no longer take it, he was planning on just taking the restraint off but now that Hidan had gotten him so aroused again he would use him to his full advantage before releasing him.

Kakuzu traces a finger down Hidan stomach to his pulsating member as he mutters,

"Do you want me to take it off?"

He wraps a hand around it, teasing the fumbling Hidan as he tries to answer a simple, "yes." Kakuzu strokes it as Hidan arches his back and cries out in euphoria. He then whispers,

"I'll take it off. You just have to do one last thing."

Hidan nods and swallows, "Y-yes yes... anything!"

Kakuzu picks him up by his waist and tells him, "Bend over that." he points to a waist high table looking thing with handles on it. Hidan goes over to it and does as he's told, waiting impatiently for what he knows will come next.

Kakuzu stands behind him, letting his warm breath hit the back of Hidan's neck as he says lustfully,

"When we leave this room, you belong to me. Spread your legs more."

Before Hidan has a chance to, Kakuzu pushes his feet apart and he nearly falls. Kakuzu catches him around the middle and tells him to hold on tight to the handles in front of him. Kakuzu reaches a finger in between Hidan's cheeks and feels Hidan's cold hole quiver in anticipation. He slides a finger in and starts preparing him while saying,

"Look at how your body reacts to this, huh? You've been acting very slutty since we got in this room. What would Jashin say?"

"Don't!" Hidan cries, "Stop!"

"Don't stop?" Kakuzu asks, "No problem..." and he takes out his finger and replaces them with his rock solid cock, thrusting deep into Hidan's tight cavern. Hidan cannot tell the difference between the pain and pleasure anymore, all he knows is that he is happy. A smile is once again on his face as he is slammed forward into the stand and he screams,

"FUCK! Kakuzu fuck me harder! Do it! For the love of Jashin do it faster! I want _more_ dammit!!!"

Kakuzu slams into him with renewed fervor as Hidan's tight ass compresses his length in an endless heat and friction. His muscles were seizing inside him and it made the experience all the more pleasurable for Kakuzu. The passion he sent out in every thrust is only matched by Hidan's moans and the way he moves to meet with Kakuzu's actions.

The intense feelings of the moments make both of them hotter and needier. They reach a point of climax soon. Kakuzu reaches around when he hears a particularly loud whimper from Hidan and a jolt of fire spreads through him. He removes the strap and they both cum. Hidan's body seems to explode in a paroxysm as Kakuzu fills him up and they collapse on the floor. Hidan passes out before even hitting the cold stone. Kakuzu catches him in shaky arms before meeting hard ground himself.

He picks Hidan up after a few minutes and walks out of the room. He goes straight to the showers and walks in with his head held high and Hidan laying, passed out, in his arms. Everyone turns to stare as he enters. Kakuzu motions to Hidan and to the burn he had made on his skin, announcing,

"This man is mine. No one will touch him."

He ignores everyones looks of surprise, confusion and humor as he takes Hidan over to a shower and begins cleaning everything off of him. He takes his time, making sure there isn't one sticky spot left on the pristine skin. His friends are the only ones who watch him in amusement.

Kisame sighs. "Typical Kakuzu, always having to claim that something 'belongs to him' and everything."

"Tobi thinks it's kinda sweet!"

"If I were Hidan, I would be afraid," Deidara mutters jokingly, "have you seen the way Kakuzu treats his possessions, yeah?"

They laugh when Kakuzu overhears them and shoots a glare. He ignores them when he picks Hidan up after washing him and takes him to his cell, placing him gently upon his bottom bunk. He doesn't even notice Itachi until the dark Uchiha asks,

"Who's there?"

Kakuzu gives him a confused glance. "It's just me Itachi, I brought Hidan back, He's probably going to sleep for a while." As Kakuzu walks toward the exit of the cell he mumbles, "I swear, sometimes I think you need glasses or something Itachi..."

"Hn." He gets in reply as Itachi lays down, staring straight above him calmly. He falls asleep soon after.

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"Oi," Hidan says as he pokes a sleeping Itachi in the hip. "Wake up."

Itachi turns and glares at him, sleep still in in his eyes.

"What do you want?" he asks in a clear voice.

"I jus' need to make sure a somethin'." Hidan mutters. "Do you get off on the pain?"

Itachi is silent for a moment before looking down and saying softly, "Sometimes being able to find pleasure in pain is a good way to show dedication. If you know you should be punished for your sins, it's easier to make the agony seem like bliss. That is all I will tell you."

Hidan, who is kneeling next to Itachi's bed, rests his elbow on the edge and places his chin in one hand. He frowns for a moment then says, "Dedication, huh? I guess that makes sense... kinda. You should think about becoming a Jashinist Itachi, you'd be good at it I think!"

"Hn." Itachi answers, though a small smile also lingers after Hidan walks out of the cell. Not even ten minutes after Hidan leaves another presence enters the cell and addresses Itachi, sounding intrigued,

"You have a visitor. He begged to see you, even though it isn't visitor's day. On his hands and knees, too. I suggest you don't make him wait." Yamada turns and walks out, leaving Itachi curious as to why someone would need to see him so desperately.

When he enters the room he sees the bright blond head of hair above frowning blue eyes. He sits down across from his brother's 'friend' and asks,

"Uzumaki Naruto? Where is my brother, did you sneak here without him again?"

Naruto nods. "Well, last time... Sasuke wasn't as mad as I thought he'd be when he found out I followed him. He told me he wouldn't come back here until he could kill you for sure. He was real vague and acted like he was thinking about something very important."

Itachi intakes air quickly at this. It was exactly what he wanted. He had always wished Sasuke would stop coming to see him, but Sasuke never seemed to listen. He hoped that maybe if Sasuke didn't see him as often, he would forget about him all together.

"Then why are you here?" He asks suddenly. Naruto looks up, determined.

"A weird guy came poking around the other day... He was kinda like a combination of Voldemort, Gene Simmons and-"

"Michael Jackson?" Itachi asks brusquely.

Naruto nods quickly. "He was saying something about giving Sasuke everything he wanted and needed and helping him achieve his goal. He mentioned you, and that's why I came to ask you if you know what the hell's going on!"

Itachi looks down, scowling. After a few moments he looks into Naruto's eyes and says slowly,

"That man is Orochimaru. He is a criminal, and he was even in here for a while. We... didn't get along very well. He has a grudge on me. I might as well tell you the truth, it may help."

Itachi clears his throat and begins, "Orochimaru wanted my body. I flat out refused him, and he got angry. It wasn't long after that, that he got out by sketchy means. If he's come recruiting Sasuke... I'm afraid he plans on using him as a replacement." He quiets Naruto's loud objections with one hand before continuing, "Not to mention, Orochimaru is twisted, who knows what else he will force Sasuke to do in exchange for helping him reach his goal."

He glances up at a wide eyed Naruto and mutters, "You need to keep Sasuke from him at any cost. Please... It will not end well if he goes with Orochimaru. No matter what he tells you, Sasuke is not as smart as he thinks he is. He will not make the right choice. You have to help him."

Naruto stands up frowning, then he smiles widely and gives Itachi a thumbs up.

"I'll look after the Teme, believe it!" and he marches out of the room leaving Itachi still nervous at this recent news. Trust Orochimaru to mess everything up. Itachi hopes desperately that Uzumaki Naruto will be able to succeed in protecting his foolish little brother.

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Hidan walks up to Kakuzu who is sitting in front of the tv. Kakuzu turns and glances at him. Hidan smirks and says,

"So i've been thinking-"

"Wow." Kakuzu interrupts.

"Shut. The. Fuck. Up!" Hidan yells as Kakuzu chuckles to himself. Hidan sits down next to the tanned man and continues,

"I think it's alright if I just fuck you."

"Oh really?" Kakuzu muses, "Why?"

Hidan stutters, "Well, you know, because... having sex with you is different... and stuff..."

"Care to explain a little more clearly?"

Hidan fumes. "Because fucking you is like torture and torture is ok!" It was a lie. Not even a very good one. Plus Hidan wasn't the best lier. Kakuzu could see right through it, just by the way Hidan turns and doesn't meet his gaze. He smirks.

"Ok idiot."

"Who are you callin' an idiot!?" Hidan growls, trying to make the blush in his cheeks go away faster. "Where can a guy get a fucking beer around here?"

"Now that's something I'd like to see." Kakuzu says. Hidan gives him a questioning glance and he answers it, "You, drunk. It'd be hilarious."

Hidan rolls his eyes. Kakuzu eyes him thoughtfully. After a minute he leans over and says quietly,

"You know, I can get you some alcohol. But, it'll cost you."

"How much?" Hidan asks happily.

"50 bucks a beer. 100+ for a flask of anything stronger."

"Shit! Who the hell would pay that Jashin damn much!?"

Kakuzu smirks. "Desperate, alcoholic criminals. So, what do you say?"

Hidan pouts. "I don't have any money... Can't you give me a discount Kuzu?"

"Kuzu?" Kakuzu asks, raising an eyebrow.

Hidan smiles. "Please?"

"No, I don't give discounts. Ever. Get a job or something."

"A job, huh?" Hidan mutters to himself as Kakuzu walks away. He looks up suddenly and runs after Kakuzu yelling,

"Wait! What kinda fucking job can you get in jail!?"

__________________________________________________

**In case anyone was wondering... the titles to the chapters are just whatever song I'm currently listening to, or has listened to most recently. **

**Anywhooooo.... Yup Yup. **

**Review? gosh, I should really stop begging for reviews like this, it's kinda pathetic.**

**KeikoPanda102**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: Anything But Ordinary

"KAKUZUUUUU!" Hidan yells as he slides around a corner into the Seme hallway. He passes a surprised looking Kisame who asks,

"What's up?"

Hidan yells back over his shoulder, "I'm gonna kill 'im!"

Hidan is running fast as he can down the hall. He keeps sliding because he ran out of his room in such an angry rush he forgot to put shoes on. His slippery socks were making him crash against the walls as he tries to make his way to Kakuzu's cell.

He finally crashes into Kisame, Zetzu, Sasori and Kakuzu's cell, waking a snoozing Zetzu and surprising Kakuzu who was in the middle of checking his stocks on the mini computer he snuck past the officers. When Hidan slams into the room though, he looks up questioningly. Hidan glares at him, points to his chest, and yells,

"What the fuck is this!?"

Kakuzu looks to where Hidan in indicating on his chest then smiles. Hidan's glare darkens.

"Well!?"

Zetzu gets up sleepily and mumbles, "Ok... we're out of here." before stumbling out of the room drowsily. Both Hidan and Kakuzu ignore him as they stare at each other.

"So you like it then?" Kakuzu asks.

Hidan blanches. "In what twisted, fucked up, hell would I _like_ to have someone burn a symbol into my skin!?"

Kakuzu shrugs. "I never said you had to like it."

"I don't!"

"Fine." Kakuzu goes back to checking his stocks. "You can go now."

Hidan is silent for a few moments then he shouts, "What!?"

Kakuzu looks up reluctantly. "Hm?"

"Wh- but- you- you have to do something about this shit!"

"Why?" Kakuzu asks incredulously. "I made it so it would never go away stupid."

"Why would you do that you dick face!?" Hidan screams.

Kakuzu's eyes glint in a dangerous way and he jumps down from the top bunk, landing smoothly next to Hidan. He then leans over the surprised jashinist, pinning him between his body and the lower bed, saying pointedly,

"Simple." He places a rough kiss on Hidan's lips that send a shock through his prepared body. "I needed to mark you to let everyone else know that you belong to me."

Hidan is dazed from the kiss. It takes him a few moments before he registers what Kakuzu said. When he does he snarls,

"I DO NOT fucking _belong_ to a retard like you!"

"Oh?" Kakuzu says. "Who do you belong to then?"

Hidan goes red as Kakuzu's teasing makes him flustered and angry. Before he can think of a good comeback Kakuzu starts tracing the outline of the burn with a calloused finger.

"If it makes a difference," He mutters, "I do feel bad about having to scar this perfect marble skin. Such a waste..." he then leans down and kisses the heart lightly. Hidan shivers involuntarily. He pushes against Kakuzu, gasping,

"Wh-what do you think your doing!?"

Kakuzu moves his hand down slowly while saying in a mocking tone, "What? Did you really think sex was simply saved for the black room, the red room and the showers? That's why you're an idiot, Hidan."

He traces Hidan's toned abs as he moves his hand toward the already low hanging zipper, preparing to pull it all the way down. Once he does this Hidan is turned on and in the palm of his hand. Hidan feels the pressure building in his pants and groans. He lifts his hips up to try and relieve the pressure. Kakuzu rubs his pelvis against Hidan making the younger grip the back of his jumpsuit tightly. Then, he starts taking it off, making Kakuzu look down at him with surprised eyes. Hidan smirks and presses his pink lips on top of Kakuzu's mouth, through his mask. Hidan nibbles the fabric a little bit until Kakuzu wants more and reaches up to pull the mask down himself, having locked Hidan's arms over his head moment's before so he could get a better reach at his chest.

Hidan can feel the scars whenever Kakuzu kisses his skin. They tickle a little but also have a sharp edge that make them very unique and, in Hidan's opinion, perfect. When Kakuzu opens his mouth and slides his tongue over Hidan sensitive nipple Hidan jumps at the warm, scratchy feeling.

"Do- do you have stitches on your tongue too?" he asks in a husky voice.

"You just noticed?" Kakuzu asks. Then before giving Hidan a chance to answer he bites down on a nipple and makes Hidan scream and forget about everything he was thinking about before.

Kakuzu plays with Hidan's pert nubs a little bit more before lightly brushing his tongue over the fresh scar he himself had made only a day before. Hidan gasps at the surprise sensitivity he notices that the scar possesses. When Kakuzu hears his gasps he remembers that scars are usually overly sensitive and begins teasing it more and more with his tongue. Hidan whimpers as his shaft gets steadily harder under the skillful and textured organ.

Suddenly Kakuzu thinks of something and stops to ask, "Aren't you sore?"

Hidan meets his gaze and cringes. "A course I'm fucking sore! You beat the shit outta me yesterday!"

"Oh..." Kakuzu mutters, then gets off of Hidan slowly, looking thoughtful. Hidan stares at him, not understanding what he's doing.

"That doesn't mean I want you to stop dumb ass!" He yells while sitting up suddenly. He ignores his erection and whispers in Kakuzu's ear, "I like it rough..."

In an instant, Kakuzu grabs Hidan around the middle and flips him onto his chest. He rips down the jumpsuit, exposing smooth, round cheeks that dip into a light pink hole. Kakuzu licks his lips as he pulls down his jumpsuit as well. He'd never felt this way before. He'd never wanted someone as much as he wanted Hidan. It almost felt like they were meant to be together. Meant to fuck each others brains out repeatedly at least.

Kakuzu hisses when the cool air hits his blistering hot manhood. He smirks and starts dry humping Hidan ass, letting his member rub against Hidan's. The pale haired man arches his back and grips the sheets on his fists. Kakuzu reaches around and grabs his shaft. He pumps it a few times before saying gruffly,

"So you like it rough, huh?"

"S-stop teasing dammit!" Hidan cries back.

Kakuzu smirks as he slams into Hidan swiftly, without any preparation. Hidan gets jerked forward. He catches himself by using one hand to hold onto the bar bedpost.

"Aaaaah!!!" He screams. He doesn't even realize Kakuzu only got the tip in. Kakuzu groans and says,

"It's so hot inside you Hidan." he pushes in further, "It makes me want to go deeper in side you. It's drawing me it."

"Ka- Kakuzu!" Hidan gasps when the seme in question hits his prostate casually.

"Here?" Kakuzu asks before aiming for the same place.

"YES!" Hidan shrieks.

Kakuzu can barely move with the way Hidan is clamping onto him. "Relax." he commands before thrusting again. Hidan tries to do as he's told but finds it hard to concentrate on anything when there is a rock hard cock, balls deep in your ass.

Kakuzu reaches forward slowly during thrusting and holds Hidan face in one hand. Hidan's mouth seeks out his fingers and Kakuzu sweeps them across his lips. Hidan slippery tongue pokes out to try and find them again. Soon he is sucking and biting on them to stop from screaming too loudly. Kakuzu places his other hand on top of Hidan's that was using the pole for support. He gips it tightly as if he will never let it go.

His breathing is in time with his thrusts but Hidan's is everywhere. His thrusting is impatient and unrhythmic while Kakuzu's is purposefully to make him last longer.

Hidan's rod is straining against his stomach and becoming tighter every time Kakuzu lands a blow at his sweet spot. His eyes are closed but behind them he can see stars from the impending orgasm that is sure to come. He is glad there is no restraint this time. He doesn't think he would be able to take it.

Kakuzu suddenly speeds up his thrusting and finally Hidan comes to a point where he cannot hold it in for any longer. He comes on his chest and on the bottom bunk's sheets. He almost collapses but Kakuzu's hand around his tightens and tells him Kakuzu isn't done yet. He waits very impatiently as Kakuzu finishes and comes inside him, groaning as he releases his seed. Once he is finished, he pull out of Hidan then promptly pulls Hidan on top of him so the jashinist can rest his head on Kakuzu's scarred chest. Hidan can hear what almost sounds like 5 rapid heartbeats in his partner's chest. He just assumes it's because of the awesome sex they just had.

After a minutes Kakuzu runs his fingers over the burn on Hidan's chest again. He kisses the top of Hidan's head before asking quietly,

"See, it's not so bad belonging to me now is it?"

Hidan snorts, feigning humor as Kakuzu's smirk widens across his stitched face. They are both jerked roughly out of their dreamy stupor when they hear a groan at the cell door. They turn to see Kisame looking frustrated and unbelieving as he says,

"Did you guys have to do it on _my _bunk!?"

Hidan and Kakuzu laugh but Hidan still gets up and put his jumpsuit back on. As he walks out the door he sighs and stretches saying, "Now that was refreshing!" in a cheerful tone.

Kakuzu watches him leave then shakes his head. "Never would have guessed he was a virgin when he got here. He's almost turned into a nymphomaniac."

"Well woop-di-do for you!" Kisame spits as he grabs his sheets nervously and tosses them at a guard to wash.

"What?" Kakuzu asks. "Is Itachi not putting out?"

Kisame sighs. "He's all depressed these days... not to mention his sight isn't getting better. He won't tell me anything except that Orochimaru is after his little brother..."

"Sorry buddy." Kakuzu says. "Hey, maybe you should get a new fuck-buddy, huh?"

Kisame waves a hand at him. "Naw, too much hassle." The lie sounds convincing but Kisame doesn't seem to meet Kakuzu's gaze as he says it. Kakuzu smirks, wondering when his friend will admit to being in love with the emotionless Uchiha. __________________________________________________

Hidan walks into the common room and over to the table that everyone seems to know belongs to 'Akatsuki'. There, he finds Deidara filing his nails alone. When he notices Hidan sit down he smirks and says, "Someone smells like sex, un."

"Shut up." Hidan teases back. He watches Deidara do his nails, for lack of anything better to do, until he notices something.

"What's with the weird tattoo's?" he asks, pointing to Deidara's hands. Deidara looks up then sees where Hidan is pointing, on each of his hands is a tattoo of a mouth with a tongue hanging out as if it wants to devour something, and shrugs.

"They're symbolic, yeah."

"Of what?" Hidan asks rudely.

"Art of course, un." Deidara explains. "I got them when I was ten, along with this..." he pulls back his blonde bangs to reveal that one of his eyes is covered in something that looks like a metal scope of some kind.

"How the hell did that happen?" Hidan asks, surprised he hadn't noticed the machinery before.

Deidara's eye glows as he answers, "Art is a bang, yeah!"

Sasori suddenly appears next to Deidara looking blank as usual but with a barely noticeable scowl on his ageless face,

"He means that he blew up his eye during one of his little 'explosions', and if you mean art is a bang way to get yourself blown up, then yeah, it is a bang. If you can even call that art..."

Deidara rolls his eyes and glares. "Just because your art is all boring and old doesn't mean all art has be that way un."

"You're lucky your cute." Sasori says before sliding a hand through Deidara's bright locks and kissing him lightly. Deidara smiles and goes back to buffing his nails quietly.

Hidan looks around and remembers the argument he had with Kakuzu the day before about money. He had to admit it wouldn't suck to have some cash. Though, he wasn't going to go overboard with it like Kakuzu does. Aaaaand he was pretty sure there was something in Jashinism about not having to many worldly possessions, though he couldn't remember the rule exactly.

"I need a job." he muses out loud to himself. Deidara and Sasori look at him.

"What are you good at un?"

"Um... praying?" Hidan says as it is the first thing that comes to mind.

Sasori and Deidara exchange a glance. "Anything else?" Sasori asks patiently.

Hidan looks around the room and the table and his eyes find the little bottles of black and purple nail polish Deidara was about to use.

"What about that?" he asks excitedly.

Deidara raises and eyebrow. "You think people will pay you to paint their nails? Are you even any good at it un?"

"I dunno." Hidan shrugs. "Can I try?"

"Um... sure." Deidara says and he passes Hidan the bottle of purple. Hidan opens it slowly then stares at Deidara's hand resting on the table. He puts his tongue between his teeth as he picks up the brush and slides it gracefully across the thumb nail. He does this two more times until the nail is completely covered. He then goes onto the next one and the next one until they are all finished. Deidara picks up his hand and stares at it. A smile spreads across his face.

"I think you might just have a future in doing nails, un!"

Hidan smiles. It wasn't a very manly job but apparently he was good at it. He would take it. Besides, he only wanted it to earn some money to get some alcohol anyways...

__________________________________________________

Yamada hadn't gotten out of his chair in 8 hours. He was sitting in front of the editing equipment, pouring over everything that he had recorded when Kakuzu took Hidan to the black room. His eyes lit up even more when the live stream flashed on a picture of Hidan and Kakuzu going at it again in Kakuzu's cell. He couldn't believe he had managed to get the two together. They were a gold mine!

_Not just that, _Yamada thinks as he zooms in on Hidan's blissed out face, _He just might be the one..._

He laughs giddily to himself just at the thought. He must call Orochimaru soon to ask him if it was ready for a real test. Because Yamada was ready for real results.

____________________________________________________

**I laugh at myself for staying up ALL NIGHT(no seriously, it's 8:27am and I haven't been to sleep yet) and writing this chapter. You can't deny inspiration I suppose... XD**

**I hope you guys appreciate my dedication! You should show your appreciation by reviewing!!! just saying...**

**KeikoPanda102 **_**loves you!**_


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: Somebody To Love

A month passes quickly inside Kure-Ji-Kira. Hidan's job actually went better than anyone expected. He got paid 5 dollars a hand. He had gotten much better at painting, filing, buffing and especially at what Kakuzu liked to call, 'girl talk'.

At the moment Hidan is adding a second coat to Kakuzu's nails while Kakuzu looks like he is in pain. He groans suddenly,

"How did I let you talk me into this?"

"With sex. Duh. Now just shut up and stop fidgeting so I don't mess up."

"If you messed up would it look more manly?" Kakuzu asks.

"No." Hidan answers. "It would look gay, now stop dammit!"

"How much gayer can it get?" Kakuzu mumbles to himself.

Suddenly Konan sits down with a plate and smiles.

"Guess what's for lunch today." she says happily. They both look over at her plate and see a few cubes of jiggly red stuff.

"Jello?" Hidan asks flatly.

"No." she corrects, "It's jello pie. Really tasty. Watermelon Jello is the best."

"Hell yeah it is. Jello just isn't worth it if it's not watermelon flavored." Hidan says.

"Wrong." Kakuzu mutters. "Everyone knows cherry jello is the best."

"I'll fight you!" Hidan growls and brandishes the paintbrush threateningly. Kakuzu chuckles.

"You'll fight me over which jello flavor is the best?"

"Fuck yeah!" Hidan exclaims. They don't get a chance to fight though before the rest of Akatsuki settle into the table and they change the subject.

Tobi sighs. "Nothing exciting goes on in here these days... not since Hidan got in."

Leader leans in suddenly.

"Just because nothing exciting goes on in here doesn't mean nothing goes on outside. Yamada has been telling me some interesting stories... Apparently the fourth Hokage, leader of Leaf city got murdered."

"That happened a while ago." Hidan interjects. "Like, before I even got arrested."

Pain shakes his head. "But that's not the important part. Apparently Orochimaru was involved somehow. Yamada wouldn't tell me everything. Then when they were searching for a new Hokage, Orochimaru showed up again, but he didn't kill her. They were old friends or something. Anyways, the new Hokage is Lady Tsunade. There's also a new Kazekage in Sand city. Gaara something or other."

"They let **Gaara **become Kazekage?" Sasori asks incredulously.

"Why?" Leader asks, "What's wrong with him?"

"Last I heard he was a nutcase. Like, he probably belonged in here for the stuff he did. I don't know what would make them even consider him for Kazekage. Then again, a lot has changed since I left." Sasori answers solemnly.

Deidara groans unexpectedly making everyone at the table turn to him. He throws his hands up toward the windows saying exasperatedly,

"I wanna be out there, yeah! We could be blowing shit up! Or poisoning people! Or sacrificing them to Jashin, un! Rearranging their faces! Selling them for money! Or maybe creating peace! We shouldn't be stuck in here, yeah! It sucks to be in here!"

The table is silent after Deidara's rant. Each individual thinking about the idea of getting out of Kure-Ji-Kira and pursuing their separate 'careers' on their own. No one says anything until Itachi speaks up quietly muttering,

"We need to get out."

The others nod. The feelings of freedom and defiance spreading through them like wildfire. Even the more unserious of the bunch sits up a little straighter as Itachi continues,

"The sooner the better. Does anyone have any ideas?"

Everyone shakes their heads after a few minutes. Leader-sama looks the most thoughtful as he stares up toward the windows. After a few minutes he says,

"Everyone should work hard and try to think of a way out. Also... it isn't safe to discuss it here. We should try and get into the white room to examine it further. For now... you should all try the jello, it's delicious."

He doesn't look like the kind of person who would say something like this. He doesn't even try to act excited as he tells everyone how good the jello is. He's eyes seem to pulsate as he stares through the foggy windows.

Hidan stands up almost instantly. He isn't so much thinking about a way to break out, he is sure someone smarter will come up with a good plan, he is thinking about what might happen if they do get out. He stares at Kakuzu's broad back as he follows him into the line for food. He sighs and taps his stitched shoulder. Kakuzu turns around and fixes him with that bright green gaze. Hidan shudders.

"You know, don't even look human sometimes." He says bluntly. Kakuzu's gaze doesn't flicker.

"Neither do you." he replies. "Is that all you wanted?"

"No..." Hidan mutters and looks down. "I was just th- wondering if... um..."

"Spit it out, dummy." Kakuzu says sharply.

Hidan glares. "I was gonna ask if... if you met me and we weren't in here... would I still belong to you?"

Kakuzu's eyes narrow. "Oh. That's a stupid question. What do you mean?"

Hidan growls, "Like, outside... wouldn't- wouldn't you have a girlfriend or something?"

"I don't date." Kakuzu answers bluntly.

"So, so you wouldn't be fucking anyone?" Hidan asks perkily.

"I didn't say that. I would probably have a bunch of sluts following me around. Bitch's like money, you know. I'd be screwing them."

"Oh..." Hidan says sadly. He grabs his jello and starts to walk to a table and sit alone. Kakuzu grabs his shoulder and jerks him around.

"Hidan, when we get out, you want to get married?" he asks suddenly.

Hidan just stares at him silently before shrugging off his hand on his shoulder and turning away.

"Ha ha." he fake laughs, "Very funny, jerk."

Kakuzu stands in front of him and grabs his chin with his free hand as he says,

"I'm serious Hidan. There are a lot more people out there than in here. I'm going to have to keep an even closer eye on you or you'll get raped again. Some might stay away if they see a ring on your finger."

Hidan stares at him. He looks like he's struggling with something very serious as he scowls and asks,

"Y-you're serious?"

Kakuzu nods. Hidan's face goes blank then he leaps forward and wraps his arms around Kakuzu's neck, kissing him at the same time. When he pulls away he says,

"Yeah! I'll marry you!"

Kakuzu chuckles. "Ok. Good." he then stands up and starts to walk away. Hidan pulls on his jumpsuit then asks firmly,

"No prostitutes? Just me and you?"

"I promise." Kakuzu says softly.

A warm feeling spreads through Hidan's chest to his stomach. He had never felt this before. He had never really felt a connection to anyone except Lord Jashin. The things Kakuzu was making him feel were brand new, and he didn't really know how to react to them. Hidan just nods and sticks a spoonful of jello in his mouth happily.

__________________________________________________

Not long after this there comes another message for Itachi. Uzumaki wants to speak with him again. The proud Uchiha goes to the visitors room without displaying any emotion but on the inside he is terribly nervous. He knows the only reason his brother's lover would come and see him would be to tell him bad news. His suspicions are confirmed when he walks in and sees Naruto covered in scars and bandages with trails on his face left from the tears he'd cried.

"Sasuke went with him." he says flatly.

"Orochimaru?" Itachi asks, already knowing the answer.

Naruto nods. "I tried to stop him! I tried to tell him everything he was leaving and I even tried to use force but that bastard Orochimaru gave him some kind of power boost. He left... He said I could never understand his pain... so he... cut his ties with everyone, especially me."

Itachi clenches his fist and bangs down on the table separating them. Naruto's eyes widen at the surprise outburst of emotion.

"Dammit Sasuke." Itachi mutters. Suddenly Naruto scowls.

"I'm going to get him back."

Itachi stares at him. He somehow feels his hope rising. It seems like this Uzumaki kid has a power to make you believe in something even if it seems impossible. Itachi hopes he can match his words with action.

"I'm gonna get stronger!" He snarls. He then stands up and walks out the door. He mutters quietly so Itachi only barely hears him, "believe it."

Kisame is waiting for Itachi when he returns. He frowns as he asks,

"Was it your brother? Do we need to go to the black r-?"

"No." Itachi interrupts in a calm voice. "We need to get out of here."

__________________________________________________

Hidan slams down a small pile of cash onto the table in front of Kakuzu.

"Ha!" he exclaims.

Kakuzu glances down at it and asks, "What is this?"

"Money dipshit." Hidan answers, crossing his arms.

"I see that." Kakuzu says back. "and I'm pretty sure you're the dipshit."

"The money is for that alcohol you were talking about before. I want some." Hidan says flatly.

"No..." Kakuzu says.

"Wh-why the hell not!?" Hidan yells.

Kakuzu smirks. "Because I feel like messing with you."

"You- you-" Hidan stutters.

"I love you too Hidan." Kakuzu says with a smirk.

Hidan stops. "You love me?"

Kakuzu's eyes are wondering as he answers, "Well I am going to marry you aren't I?"

"I never been loved before..." Hidan mutters quietly.

"Well I'm not going to feed my fiancé's alcoholism but giving supplying him." Kakuzu says before picking up the pile of loose bills Hidan had placed on the table. Hidan's eyes widen and he yells,

"I don't have alcoholism- hey! Where are you putting that!?"

Kakuzu slips the money into his pocket and answers, "I'm keeping it, what are you going to do with it?"

Hidan stares at him with his mouth hanging open. After a minute he climbs on top of Kakuzu and tries to get his money back from out of Kakuzu's pocket.

"Give it back you dickwad! Jerk! Asswipe! I'm not marrying you!"

Suddenly Deidara pops up out of nowhere and asks happily,

"Oh! You're getting married, yeah?"

"Not if this bastard doesn't give me my money back!"

Deidara and Konan laugh as Hidan chases Kakuzu around the room yelling at him.

__________________________________________________

Yamada blinks as the sunlight pours onto his skin. He frowns. If it were up to him he would stay inside Kure-Ji-Kira all the time. He really liked it there. But he knows he has to come out some time, and the meeting he was going to was a very good reason.

He has a driver take him to the bar his consort had arranged for them to meet at. When he enters he can almost sense Orochimaru's presence even before he sees him.

When he does set his eyes upon his old partner he smiles. Orochimaru looks the same. He hadn't grown much older, Yamada noticed as he walked over to the booth and sat down. He shakes the snake man's hand as he takes his seat and Orochiamru says,

"Nice to see you again, Seiji. How is everyone?"

"Everyone is doing well, actually. Especially Kakuzu, a new inmate was recently added and they really hit it off. The only person who doesn't seem to be doing well is Uchiha. He's sulking and spends a lot of his time in the black and white rooms."

Orochimaru seems to smirk at this news then he turns and motions to someone standing in the shadows. A man with a silver ponytail and round glasses steps out of the shadows and smiles. Orochimaru turns to him and says,

"Kabuto, please bring out our newest friend to meet Yamada-san."

Kabuto nods and walks into a back room. Yamada raises an eyebrow at Orochimaru and he just nods toward the opening door. A boy walks out of the door and Yamada smirks.

"Aaah... I see. This must be why Itachi is so depressed. You've caught his younger brother."

Sasuke Uchiha scowls when his brother is mentioned. Orochimaru turns away from him and smiles at Yamada as he says,

"But you aren't here for him nor to tell me about Kure-Ji-Kira." His eyes narrow and he reaches into his pocket. "You're here for this." He holds up a small vile and Yamada's eyes shimmer. Orochimaru smirks.

"I'm not sure how well it will work." he says as he hands it to Yamada. His eyes narrow then. "Tell me... who are you planning to use it on?"

Yamada stand up and places the vile gently into his shirt pocket and answers, "Kakuzu and his new plaything have really inspired me..."

He clears his throat and holds out his hand to Orochimaru again. Yamada grasps it and says,

"You will tell me when the results come in, won't you?"

"Of course." Yamada answers before walking out of the bar and back into the bright sun.

__________________________________________________

**Review please.**

**KeikoPanda102**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: If We Were A Movie

Hidan sighs as he collapses on the couch next to Kakuzu.

"I need to stop doing nails, I think I'm turning into a girl." he looks down at himself as if expecting to sprout breasts.

Kakuzu just laughs at him. Suddenly Yamada's voice comes on over the loudspeakers. He sounds practically giddy as he announces,

"Will Hidan and Kakuzu please report to my office. Now."

Kakuzu and Hidan glance at each questioningly.

"What does he want?" Zetzu asks.

Hidan shrugs. "Who the hell knows. We should prolly go though. Who knows what he'll make us do if we're late."

As they walk towards the office Hidan stretches and says,

"I bet this has something to do with that fucked up porno website Yamada is all nuts about."

Kakuzu looks thoughtful then says, "Have I ever mentioned what an absolutely genius idea the Kure-Ji-Kira website is? The income he gets every minute is astounding. I'm surprised he isn't rich. He probably blows it on scientific equipment and such. Still, he's a lucky bastard."

"You like being watched 24 7 and having people around the country see you, you know, fuck?" Hidan asks.

"No, not me personally. But if I had the chance to start a business like this where I was in charge, I wouldn't hesitate to take it. It's brilliant. There is so much money to be made on the internet."

He seems to forget Hidan is even there as dollar bill signs flash in front of his eyes. Hidan glances at him warily then mutters, "Whatever," before walking into Yamada's unnaturally dark office.

Their prison leader is standing but he motions for them to take a seat and smiles widely saying,

"Congratulations!" he turns his laptop around and shows a screenful of stats that Hidan stares at confusedly but Kakuzu seems to understand right away. He glares at the screen then up at Yamada who ignores it and exclaims,

"You two are my best selling products! Everyone wants to know what's happening with Hidan and Kakuzu! You won a one night, free stay in the red room!"

Hidan interrupts. "Whadda ya mean free? I thought it already was free?"

"No." Kakuzu answers, "It cost for all the rooms. Red, black and white."

Hidan takes a moment then nods. "I get it. That's why we haven't gone back to the black room yet. Cheapskate."

Kakuzu smirks. He then stands up and asks,

"Is that all? Can we go?"

Yamada's smile seems to get slicker as he answers, "Kind of. You may leave Kakuzu but I need to give Hidan here an extra gift for his accomplishments."

Kakuzu's eyes narrow but Hidan doesn't notice anything strange as he is playing with the little kinetic balls on Yamada's desk. Yamada waves as Kakuzu walks out the door giving his superior a warning glance.

Suddenly Hidan realizes he was left alone with Yamada and his eyes widen. He stands up nervously and acts to follow Kakuzu out of the room but Yamada stops him.

"Wait Hidan. I just need to give you one little injection."

"Of _what_!?" Hidan asks, his voice rising a few levels in pitch.

Yamada pulls out a very long, large needle and Hidan eyes it warily as Yamada mutters,

"Nothing really, you don't really have to worry about it. It won't do anything to you that you will notice."

Hidan still backs into the corner and closes his eyes as Yamada pokes the tip of the needle into his exposed upper stomach. The liquid is cold when it enters his body and Hidan shivers.

Yamada's face is pure delight as he gazes at the liquid draining from the needle into Hidan. When all of it is gone he pulls it out and slap Hidan on the ass saying,

"Alright. We're all done! Now go and enjoy the red room you little lovebirds."

Hidan stares at Yamada like he is insane as he walks toward the door rubbing his stomach. He always knew Yamada was weird but the guy just seemed to keep getting stranger.

Hidan shakes his creepy thoughts from his mind as he walks toward the red room. He steps inside and the door slams and locks after him. In an instant Kakuzu is standing in front of him looking him over like he had just got back from a foreign, disease ridden country.

"What did he do?" he asks harshly.

"He gave me a shot." Hidan answers. "It smarts." he rubs his stomach and Kakuzu grabs his hand away.

"Here?" he asks and rubs the sensitive area on Hidan's stomach.

"Hey! Yeah!" Hidan growls.

Kakuzu's emerald eyes continues to stare at him nervously but after a while Hidan just ignores him and glances around the room.

He hadn't really been able to appreciate it the last time they were here. His eyes widen as he notices the heart shaped hot tub in the corner of the room. He runs over to it then smiles as he turns to Kakuzu and says,

"Let's get in!"

Kakuzu just stares at him blankly and asks, "Are you sure he didn't do anything else to you?"

"I'm perfectly fine! Damn, lighten up Kakuzu, have some fun!" Hidan growls back. He then gets an idea and smirks making Kakuzu raise an eyebrow. He slowly reaches down and unzips his jumpsuit. He begins sliding one sleeve off his arm sensually.

Kakuzu sees what he is trying to do ad he smirks. He starts to move towards Hidan as the Jashinist licks his lips temptingly when suddenly-

"What's up suckers!?"

Everyone in Akatsuki suddenly busts in the room. First off is Kisame who yelled upon their arrival. He is followed by a smiling Deidara who is dragging a scowling Itachi by the hand into the room. Sasori has a smirk on his face as he walks in calmly. Tobi jumps inside excitedly while Zetzu makes a face when he sees all the red and frillyness inside the room. Last is Konan and Pain who look cheerful but reserved.

Hidan's face goes bright red and he quickly zips up his jumpsuit before anyone could notice. Kakuzu scowls then when he sees the adorable flush painting Hidan's face he growls,

"What are you guys doing here?"

"Chillax Kakuzu. We just thought instead of having some boring old sex we could use the red room to have a house party." Konan answers.

The scowls doesn't fade from his face as he asks, "How'd you get in? I doubt Yamada let you in."

"Nicked the key, un." Deidara says before going over the bar and opening the red fridge.

"You did?" Hidan asks Deidara.

He smiles back. "No, You'll never guess who did, yeah!"

"Who?" Hidan and Kakuzu ask in unison.

"Tobi!" half of them answer at the same time. Everyone turns to face Tobi, staring at him curiously. He waves and laughs nervously. Zetzu chuckles then says,

"Who knew he even had it in him to commit a crime."

Tobi gasps. "Stealing is a crime!?!? No! Tobi is a good boy! He has to go apologize!"

Everyone laughs except for Kakuzu who was contemplating strangling Tobi for depriving him of Hidan for the night. He quickly forgets about it when Pain puts on some music and Hidan starts grinding on him along with the music.

He even laughs the hardest when Deidara, Itachi, Tobi, and Hidan put together organized dances to the songs. Hidan hits Tobi across the back of his head when the childlike man messes up their interpretation of Hare Hare Yukai.

Even Itachi cracks a small smile at this. When he does this it seems as if everyone in the room lightens up and it becomes a real party. At around midnight all the alcohol is gone and mostly everyone is sufficiently hammered. Someone decides to yell out,

"Hey! We should play truth or dare!"

The people who were beginning to get bored perk up instantly and everyone forms a circle. Itachi sighs as he sits next to Konan and Kisame.

"Truth or dare is boring, everyone always cheats," he says. Then his eyes seem to twinkle and he smirks. "We should play double dare or triple truth."

"How do you play that?" Leader-sama asks cautiously.

"You can't back out or lie. Also, you don't get to choose whether you get truth or dare, the person who is making you do it decides."

"That sounds dangerous... We're in!" Zetzu smiles.

Everyone else agree that this version will be more fun and they also decide to play. They are about to start when Itachi interrupts again,

"Wait, before we start we have to decide our 'no zones'."

"What're those?" Kakuzu asks.

"It's like, no one can ask why I killed my family. You get one thing that people can't ask you about." The grim Uchiha explains.

"Ok," Kakuzu says. "Nothing happens to my money."

"No one ask about my _feelings."_ Hidan says, making a disgusted face at 'feelings'.

Deidara nods then says sharply. "No one make me do anything with anyone besides Danna, yeah!"

Sasori smiles slightly then looks thoughtful for a moment.

"Don't ask me how my puppet body works."

"Damn..." Deidara mutters to himself.

Kisame sighs. "Don't make me do embarrassing shark related things..."

Everyone else laughs and he just looks grumpy until Zetzu says, "Don't ask me what I see in Tobi."

Everyone nods though they don't truly understand then they turn to Tobi. They all notice that he is sitting uncharacteristically still and then he speaks in a very serious, dark voice,

"Do not try and make me take off this mask."

The room is silent for a moment as everyone except Zetzu stare at Tobi in shock. After a minute though, he claps his hands and says,

"Tobi is a good boy! Who's next?"

Konan looks down softly then mutters, "Don't ask how I met Pain..."

Pain looks at her sadly then scowls, trying to decide what he should make off limits. He decides.

"Don't ask me about my piercings."

They all nod then Kisame claps his hands and announces,

"Is that everyone? Good, I want to go first."

He turns to Itachi and the Uchiha scowls playfully, fully not expecting Kisame's question.

"Why didn't you kill your brother?"

The temperature of the room seems to drop 15 degrees. Itachi's entire face darkens and the glare he sends at Kisame would make most grown men cry. Kisame, who knew the reaction he would get remains strong and he stares at Itachi with an equally strong glare.

"You already know why." Itachi hisses at him.

"That just means I'll know if you lie." Kisame answers. Then his face lightens and he looks concerned. "You need to say it out loud, Itachi. Please."

A clear look of panic embeds itself on Itachi face. He glances around him nervously then up at the ceiling where he knows there are camera's hiding. He gulps and wraps his arms around his his knees, pulling them to his chest.

Suddenly he feels a warm hand on his shoulder. He looks over at Konan who is smiling at him. She reaches down and holds Itachi's hand in hers, giving it an encouraging squeeze.

"It's ok Itachi... you can tell us." Sasori says.

"Yeah, don't be a pussy." Hidan smirks.

Itachi can't help but feel a little better. He inhales deeply then stands up. He turns toward the other wall and everyone starts calling out encouragements to him.

"You can do it!"

"We won't make fun of you!"

"It's the rules! No lying!"

Itachi suddenly breaks down. He spins around and screams,

"I'M IN LOVE WITH HIM!"

He collapses on the ground as a cold silence flows through the room. Kisame rushes over to his uke and holds him up, stroking his hair and telling him it'll be ok. Everyone knows not to speak, Itachi isn't finished yet.

"I- I know it's disgusting but... I can't help it. He always looked up to me and he is so cute. He was so innocent. And I took his innocence away from him, I made his life a curse. I was supposed to kill him but- I just couldn't do it!"

He looks up, no tears falling from his eyes despite the emotions pouring out of his entire body. He stares blankly at them then he mutters,

"I disgust you, don't I? It's incest, I know it is. It's gross. Besides... I know I can never have him. He's my brother. I just want him to be happy. My brother..."

"You're not disgusting..." Sasori mutters.

Itachi stares at him, so does everyone else. He looks up, his face still emotionless.

"I turned my parent's into puppets. I accidentally murdered them, then I- I turned their bodies into puppets that I could control to make them seem alive. It was an illusion... but I wanted them to be a alive so badly... You have nothing to be ashamed of..."

"I sold my mother into slavery for $12." Kakuzu says suddenly. Everyone turns to him.

"Kakuzu!" Hidan yells. "What the fuck!?"

Kakuzu waves at him. "She was a bitch anyways..."

"You wouldn't sell me, would you!?" Hidan asks.

Kakuzu raises an eyebrow. "Depends on the price."

"Y- you bastard! What the fuck!?"

Kakuzu just laughs and so does everyone else. Konan grabs a hold of Itachi's hand again and smiles kindly.

"We don't think any differently of you, Itachi. In fact you probably fit in even more with this lot." she jerks her head towards Hidan and Kakuzu who are rolling on the floor wrestling as the others cheer them on.

Itachi looks up with wide eyes then he shakes his head and sits up. His face goes back to it's blank look but he continues holding onto both Kisame's and Konan's hands.

"Isn't it my turn now?" he asks.

Hidan and Kakuzu stop fighting and the others straighten back into a circle. Itachi smirks and glances at Hidan.

"Is it just my imagination, or did you call me a pussy earlier?"

Hidan eyes widen and he shifts his position, looking nervous.

"I dare Hidan to give Kakuzu a lap dance!"

"EHHHH!? Hidan growls.

Itachi winks at Kakuzu who smiles back thankfully. Deidara and Zetzu pester Hidan as he blushes and try's to get out of it.

"You have to do it." Itachi says firmly. Deidara gets up suddenly and drags the chair over to their circle. Kakuzu sits in it then fixes Hidan with a smoldering gaze. Hidan glares at Deidara but stands up shakily.

He starts to dance around Kakuzu while blushing madly. The others try to stifle their laughter. Even though he was embarrassed, Kakuzu had to admit he still looked hot. Kakuzu's smirk is wide as he reaches out to grab Hidan's ass. Hidan smacks his hand and glares at him. Kakuzu's eyes narrow dangerously and Hidan gulps.

"This is the worst lap dance I've ever had. I definitely don't think you're getting paid."

He reaches out and grabs Hidan's jumpsuit. Hidan yelps as Kakuzu pulls him onto his lap so Hidan is straddling him. He smirks as he commands,

"Dance..."

Hidan's face is bright red but he starts moving his hips. He try's to ignore the others who are rolling around on the floor laughing like there's no tomorrow. Deidara and Zetzu were holding each with tears rolling down their faces they were laughing so hard.

Itachi was smiling and seemed to enjoy the punishment he had thought up for Hidan. Even though he didn't really resent Hidan for calling him a pussy. He probably needed it. When Hidan finally looses his restraint and yells,

"Am I done yet!?"

Itachi smirks and nods saying, "Yeah, I guess. And now it's your turn. You can't choose me."

Hidan face falls but his gaze finds Deidara easily and he remembers that the bomber had been _kind _enough to bring the chair for Kakuzu to sit in. Deidara's eyes widen and it is Hidan turn to smirk.

"I dare **Konan** to give Deidara a makeover!"

Deidara exclaims, "Can he do that, un!?"

Itachi is laughing as he nods. Konan smiles and drags a screaming Deidara to the bathroom. She closes the door but then opens it and says,

"Since it's my turn next I'm just gonna go now." She looks at Kakuzu and says, "Kakuzu, I dare you to sew Deidara a dress out of the bed sheets."

Kakuzu is taken aback. "What makes you think I can sew?"

She just raises an eyebrow at him and he sighs. "Fine, fine..."

She smiles and goes back in the bathroom and closes the door. Kakuzu grabs the sheet and pulls a sewing kit out of his back pocket. Hidan's mouth falls open.

"You can sew? What a loser! Damn, can you make tea too, Mrs. Kuzu!?"

Kakuzu just smacks him across the back of his head and bites off a bit of string as he says,

"My family made me work in a tailoring factory starting when I was three. They said I had to earn my keep. It's a useful skill. So, shut up, dumb-ass."

While he is working he realizes it is now his turn and he glances at Sasori. After a minute he smiles and asks,

"Truth. Have you ever been an uke, Sasori?"

Sasori makes a face and answers, "Yes. Orochimaru, remember. Ick."

Everyone laughs then Sasori turns to Tobi and asks,

"Is Tobi your real name?"

They are quiet as they wait to see what Tobi's reaction will be. After a minute he waves his hand and says,

"Naw."

Everyone waits for more but soon realize there is no more to come and Itachi says,

"Tobi... you have to pick someone now."

"Oh!" Tobi says. "Tobi is a good boy! I pick Zetzu-chan!"

Before he can ask his question, though, Konan pokes her head out and calls to Kakuzu.

"How's that dress coming?"

He tosses it to her and says, "It's done. Just in time."

She smiles and says, "Good! Now all I have to do it make him put it on." She closes the door and Tobi says,

"How come Zetzu didn't want anyone to ask why he likes Tobi?"

Zetzu shrugs. "It's embarrassing. I'll tell you later."

Everyone looks at Itachi who shrugs and says, "He did answer the question..."

"Just Leader-sama now." Kisame says and glances at Zetzu who looks thoughtful when coming up with a question. Finally he asks,

"How did you meet Yamada?"

Pain rolls his eyes. "Mutual friend. Orochimaru. They were a lot closer then I ever was to either of them. He just lets me have special privileges because I kind of keep control of the other prisoners here."

Everyone nods at the perfectly acceptable answer. Suddenly there is a loud crash and the bathroom door bursts open. Konan pushes a scowling, makeup covered, dress wearing Deidara out of the small room.

Everyone is silent as they stare at Deidara. Then finally Hidan bursts out laughing as he says,

"Dude! I thought you looked like a fucking chick _before_! That's just scary!"

Konan had taken his hair down from the ponytail and let it flow down his back. She had put the perfect amount of shimmering pink lipgloss on his mouth and had made his eyes pop even more by adding black eyeliner and eyeshadow. If his face weren't enough, Deidara's exposed skin was perfectly smooth and curved in just the right places. The dress Kakuzu had made was a form fitting ball gown that was cut so it showed off the legs, back, and hips.

"You really made that?" Hidan asks Kakuzu. Kakuzu just looks down at him and smirks.

Deidara was blushing so much there wasn't very much need for the blush Konan had put on. He was glaring at her intensely until Sasori stands up out of the blue. Everyone turns to him.

His red bangs cover his eyes and he doesn't say anything as he walks towards Deidara. He grabs Deidara possessively by the wrist and yanks him into the bathroom, slamming the door behind them. It only takes a minute for Deidara's screams of,

"DANNA! YES, HARDER, UN! YEAH!" to make everyone in the room a little awkward. Leader-sama clears his throat and mutters,

"Who wants to get in the hot tub?"

Everyone agrees instantly and they pile in. No one finds it odd that Konan could sit in a hot tub, completely naked, surrounded by seven high class, male criminals and none of them would touch her. Everyone simply acted as if it was completely normal.

Each time Deidara's screams got louder, Konan's smile got wider, as if she was extremely excited that she was the one who had dolled Deidara up to make them have that sex. Hidan glances at her then asks,

"So how does it feel to be the worlds greatest faghag?"

She turns her smile to him and answers, "Great!"

Everyone laughs and Kakuzu turns up the music to drown out Deidara's voice.

__________________________________________________

Yamada sits in his office with his mouth hanging open. He could not believe what had just happened.

He spent all this time and effort for nothing. NOTHING!

He had injected Hidan and even set them up in the red room and then their idiot friends had to come in and ruin it. He hadn't panicked then, he figured they might still do it, even if the others were there. They hadn't.

Now the warm water of the hot tub was relaxing them and making them tired. He was sure the others would stay the night in the room, giving Hidan and Kakuzu zero alone time.

Yamada sighs and pulls out his phone. He dials 2 on speed dial and it picks up almost immediately.

"_Seiji?_"

"Orochimaru?" Yamada begins in a tense voice. "How long does the chemical last once injected, if not activated?"

"_One week_..." Orochimaru answers slowly.

Yamada breathes out. "Good. Thank you."

"_Is everything ok, Seiji_?"

"It'll be fine, I'l make sure of it." Yamada says then he closes the phone, hanging up.

_One week... yes, that should be good. There is no good reason for them not to do it._

He nods. This was going to work. Besides... their little game of truth or dare had been very illuminating...

__________________________________________________

**Whoo! What a bloody great chapter, eh? Well, I liked it... XD**

**You should um... REVIEW... and tell me if you liked. I mean, i've had enough people alert this story, you guys should at least review too.... **

**please?**

**KeikoPanda102 **_**will give you cookies... **_**^_^**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14: Waking Up In Vegas

Hidan groans as he sits up and rubs his eyes. There is something heavy on his stomach and he doesn't even look when he pushes it off. The object groans and Hidan reluctantly looks down. It was Kisame whom he pushed off onto the floor. He looks around and sees that he is laying on top of Itachi's arm and Kakuzu's leg. In fact, he is mostly laying in the middle of a pile of bodies. No one even seemed to care about where they had fallen. They had just been happy to get a place on the bed where they would not be kicked off.

Hidan looks around the room and notices that Deidara and Sasori had decided not to crash on the bed and were squeezed into the chair. Deidara was snuggled happily on Sasori's lap with his head resting on the redhead's shoulder. Sasori's arms were draped lazily around Deidara's hips and his head fit nicely in the crook of Deidara's neck. The blond's makeup from his dare last night was smeared all over his face, especially his lipgloss. Hidan smiles, thinking that the reason they decided to not sleep in the bed was because when they had finally finished everyone else was already taking it up.

When the pressure is taken off his leg Kakuzu wakes up and scoots the bodies around him so he can slide off the bed. He walks over o the counter and turns on the coffee pot. Suddenly someone clears their throat behind him. He turns around and sees Hidan glaring at him.

"What?" he asks gruffly, "Did you want some too?"

Hidan is standing by the door and leaning against the wall as he says, "I was just thinking... and I remembered something you said last night. You would sell me for money?"

Kakuzu sighs then answers, "Hidan, I would never sell you..."

Hidan breathes out and relaxes. "Good, because I was worr-"

"...for less than a million." Kakuzu finishes honestly.

Hidan's eyes widen. He tries to breath deeply but then he just screams and picks up the nearest lamp and hurls it at Kakuzu's head. It only misses by a few inches.

"YOU BASTARD! I- I WAS GONNA FUCKING MARRY YOU! YOU'RE SUCH AN ASSHOLE! GO SUCK A FUCKING COCK FOR ALL I CARE! I HATE YOU!"

He throws anything he can get his hands on until he hears the door click unlock. He rushes out of the room without looking back.

All of Hidan's screaming had woken the others and then all turn towards Kakuzu, perplexed. He groans and sinks into a chair muttering,

"It's too early for this..."

__________________________________________________

A few days go by and Kakuzu tries to talk to Hidan many times. Hidan just ignores him or tells him to fuck off. Kakuzu is starting to get depressed. He wonders what he'll do if Hidan actually meant what he had said. He didn't think he could live without Hidan now.

He sighs as he sits down next to Kisame and stares at Hidan who had begun sitting at another table by himself. Kisame hits his back and says,

"Hey! Buck up! Don't worry about it, he'll come back to you. He doesn't hate you."

"How do you know?" Kakuzu asks.

"He didn't tell you to die, that's something." Sasori throws in. Kakuzu grunts in agreement. His friends words of encouragement make him feel better and he stands up to go try and convince Hidan not to be mad at him any more.

He sits down at Hidan's table and the only thing Hidan does to acknowledge his existence is to flick him off. Kakuzu sighs.

"A million dollars is actually a lot of money..." he mutters quietly.

Hidan looks up at him in disbelief. He then throws his plate of mashed potatoes and creamed spinach onto Kakuzu's face and walks away. The other prisoners oooh and aaah but Kakuzu ignores them as he yells,

"Wait Hidan! That was the wrong way to start!"

Hidan just goes into the bathrooms and ignores Kakuzu completely. Kakuzu sulks back at his table and Zetzu tries to cheer him up by saying,

"You should just rape him. He'll probably forgive you then."

Kakuzu actually contemplates this for a moment then sighs.

"No... he'd just hate me more, believe me."

"Then you've just got to wait it out." Pain says comfortingly.

Kakuzu nods though this idea doesn't appeal to him very much. Kakuzu had never been a patient person.

__________________________________________________

Yamada had not slept in 6 days. 6 days was the number of days he'd been waiting for Kakuzu and Hidan to have sex.

When they had woken up the morning after their so called 'house party', they had gotten into a huge fight that made Yamada almost go down into the main jail and physically force them to have sex. Luckily he had enough self control to understand that that would never work.

So instead he decided he would just watch Hidan and Kakuzu until they finally did have sex and he could record it for the case study. His plan was somewhat failing so far.

He had already called Orochimaru twice. The first time asking if he had meant the drug would last a week week, or a school week. Orochimaru had asked him then if he was on anything. The second call was a little more sane, Yamada had eaten some food and gone to the bathroom. He'd asked Orochimaru if this test failed, when would he be able to get a second dosage to try. He had gotten depressed when his partner told him how difficult it was to make and that it would take another month just for that small amount.

Yamada scratches his stubble and notices that the hair on his chin was going to be a full grown bear by the time he got around to shaving it. He sips his coffee then picks up his phone. He dials 2 again and waits for Orochimaru to pick up.

"_What this time, Seiji_?" Orochimaru asks harshly.

Yamada sighs and begins, "Ok, here's what's happening..."

When he finished explaining his problem to Orochimaru the other line was silent.

_"What's the problem_?" he asks. _"The answer is simple Seiji. If your test subjects aren't having sex, you need to activate the drug yourself. That's what I would do."_

Yamada's mouth drops. How had he not thought of that? He thanks Orochimaru then closes the phone with a smile on his face. He rubs his chin and thinks happily,

_I should probably shave now..._

____________________________________________________

Once Yamada is shaven clean and dressed up nicely he struts down into the main room of Kure-Ji-Kira. He ignores everyones stares and mutterings as his eyes search the room for Hidan. His smile widens as he walks over to the Jashinist who was munching on a carrot, looking bored.

__________________________________________________

"What's he doing here?" Itachi asks as he points to where Yamada just walked into the room. Everyone turns then Pain shrugs and says,

"Who knows."

Kakuzu's green orbs stay locked on their warden as he looks around the room. His eyes widen when Yamada smiles and begins walking straight towards Hidan. He growls and almost stands up to go defend Hidan but Kisame stops him.

"Don't get yourself in trouble."

Kakuzu stays seated but he doesn't quit glaring at Yamada. He isn't the only one. Everyone in the room seems to have their eyes on Yamada as he stops in front of Hidan. Hidan looks up and asks,

"Wadda you want?"

Yamada smiles at him then says in a fake relaxed voice,

"I was wondering if you would accompany me in my office for a little while?"

Hidan just stares at him with a dumb expression on his face. Yamada's eyes darken and he mutters,

"You see, you don't really have a choice in this."

"Typical." Hidan snorts. "How come you didn't just tell me to come to your office over the damn loudspeaker?"

"I was hoping to keep this... private." Yamada mutters. He then looks around and sees everyone staring at them. "I guess that didn't work so well."

"No shit, Sherlock..." Hidan mutters.

Suddenly Yamada leans over Hidan and whispers in his ear, "Don't make me take you by force."

Hidan glares and tries to push Yamada off him. Yamada smirks and wraps his hand around the chain Hidan's Jashin symbol hangs from. He jerks it back and pulls Hidan up from his seat.

"The fuck-" Hidan exclaims as he is pulled across the room with everyone watching.

Kakuzu stands up but doesn't do anything as Hidan is pulled through the doorway and his yelling stops.

Hidan is tossed unceremoniously onto the floor of Yamada's office. He stares up at his superior as Yamada closes the door and begins taking off his jacket.

"What the hell do you want with me!?"

Yamada rolls up the sleeves of his nice dress shirt as he answers,

"If you want something done right, do it yourself. Isn't that how the saying goes?"

Hidan just stares at him. "What the fuck are you talking about!?"

Yamada's voice is suddenly sharp. "I only have_ one_ more day to activate the drug. Since, _you _are denying Kakuzu sex for some idiotic reason, I have to do you myself."

Hidan starts breathing heavier as he backs away from Yamada who is advancing towards him with a sick smile on his face. Hidan tries to resist but finds Yamada stronger than he first expected. The smiling man picks Hidan up and lays him down roughly on his desk which he had cleared off before going down to get Hidan. He had also set up the thing that made Hidan yell when it was turned on.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!?" He struggles as four metal cuffs spring out of nowhere and bind his arms and legs to the desk.

Yamada's entire face becomes twisted as a sick smile covers it. He laughs then asks,

"You like it? It's just in case you were trying to get away?"

"LET ME OUT CUNT-FACE!" Hidan yells.

Yamada tries to ignore Hidan's constant yelling as he removes the criminals clothing but after a few minutes he shoves a piece of cloth in Hidan's mouth.

_Shit..._ Hidan curses silently now that he can't scream. _Where the hell is Kakuzu to rescue m-? DAMMIT! I'm mad at that greedy dick-head! The bastard won't come get me, will he? _Hidan snorts. _Why the fuck would he rescue me if he just wants to sell me..._

Yamada suddenly starts touching all over Hidan's body. Hidan cringes at the feeling of sticky fingers stroking his skin then he looks up when Yamada licks his lips hungrily and says,

"I haven't had a live body to play with in a long time. Especially not one this _responsive._"

Hidan shivers both from Yamada's words and his hands. This just makes his torturer smile more. His eyes glow with something that makes the hair on the back of Hidan's neck stand up.

Suddenly Yamada twists his nipple and Hidan closes his eyes as the cloth stops him from calling out. Yamada then leans down and licks the pert nub making Hidan quake. Yamada then starts sucking on the pinks bud harshly then biting down.

Hidan can't stop himself from getting hard under Yamada's skillful touches. Hidan thinks that for someone who hadn't been having sex for an while he was good at it. He hated the way his body could respond so well to his caresses. He didn't like being touched... unless it was by Kakuzu.

This simple fact though, wouldn't stop him from getting almost unbearably hard without Yamada having even touched his cock yet. He groans as Yamada slides his tongue down his toned stomach to the edge of his underwear. The tip of his member is poking out the top. Yamada just barely pulls them down, revealing his length when the door of the office is busted down.

Yamada turns and stands in front of Hidan's face so he can't see who it was that stopped Yamada from attacking him. He feels lightheaded do to the fact his manhood was pulsating with lust.

Suddenly Yamada gets sent flying and crashes into the wall. His eyes close as he slides down the wall and Hidan is pretty sure he is out cold. Now the Jashinist can turn towards the door and see who stopped Yamada from molesting him further.

Of course it's Kakuzu, who did you think it would be?

He gives Hidan a smoldering look that somehow goes straight to his throbbing manhood. He cringes as Kakuzu slowly walks forward and grips the metal band around Hidan's leg tightly. One second later the cuff is broken clean in two and the others unlock along with it.

"C'mon Hidan," Kakuzu says gruffly, "We should get out of here."

Hidan just whimpers. Kakuzu, who was trying his hardest not to look at Hidan's body for fear of making him even madder can't ignore the small noise and he turn around. He finds Hidan blushing profusely and holding onto his manhood desperately. Kakuzu's breath catches in his throat and he takes a step toward Hidan cautiously. He falters before reaching out to stroke that pristine ivory skin to ask,

"A-are you sure, Hidan? You want me to help you?"

Hidan just nods and closes his eyes. He mumbles something that roughly sounds like, "It's hurts..." Of course he wouldn't admit that the pain was just turning him on more. It reminded him of their time in the black room.

Kakuzu stands in between Hidan's legs on the desk. He then pulls them down so they are hanging off the desk and his ass is on the edge. He looks up as he slides a hand along Hidan's smooth leg, toward his member. He kneels down and pulls his mask down at the same time, his eyes never leaving Hidan's whom they make shiver.

He pushes Hidan's hands away and they fall, curled into fists, at his sides. He wraps one hand around the base of the length and uses the other to stabilize Hidan by placing it on his chest. He lets his warm breath caress the tip fragilely and Hidan lets out a breathy moan. He starts sliding his hand up and down the shaft while lightly touching the tip with the smallest part of his lips possible.

"Aaaah bitch!" Hidan curses and tosses his head from side to side. Kakuzu smirks and sticks his tongue out suddenly. The gentle touch of warm muscle on soft, blazing skin makes Hidan gasp and shake on the desk. Kakuzu decides to go all out. He takes Hidan member deep in his mouth and sucks in strongly.

"Kakuzu-!" Hidan cries out. Kakuzu is surprised when he finds that, that is all it takes for Hidan to release in his mouth. Even Hidan seems surprised at this as his blush deepens and he tries to curl up to hide himself. Kakuzu just smirks and spreads his legs. He sticks his fingers in his own mouth and coats them with the sticky liquid Hidan had just emitted. He places the fingers at Hidan's entrance but before pushing them in he says smugly,

"I guess this is what happens to you if I don't touch you all the time..."

"Sh-shut up bastard!" Hidan yells but then stops when Kakuzu enters two fingers at once. He moans and arches his back. He finds that he really likes the feeling of being filled. He wants more.

Kakuzu doesn't take long to prepare him. He knows the cum and spit would be a good lubricant. He poises his length at Hidan's entrance but stops himself and brings his face directly in front of Hidan's to ask,

"I need to be sure... have you forgiven me?"

Hidan is once again almost bursting with need he can barely think, let alone speak. He bites his lip them Kakuzu kisses him deeply and he cries out,

"I- I love you! Forgive you! Whatever! Dammit Kakuzu, do it!"

Kakuzu smirks. How cute was Hidan when he was begging? The two were completely oblivious to the totally passed-out man in the corner. Kakuzu moves his hips just enough so his tip goes inside. Hidan bucks his hips so the rest of his length gets buried deep inside him.

"Mother fucker!" Hidan curses as Kakuzu pulls out then thrusts back inside.

Their thrusts and pulses begin meeting up. Kakuzu's grunts are congruent to Hidan's moans and whimpers and screams. Every time Kakuzu thrusts Hidan's muscles clamp around him sending sweet tingles of pleasure through his entire body. Hidan's toes were curling from the constant rubbing against his prostate. It doesn't take long for Hidan to cum again, squeezing Kakuzu so he can barely make one last pump before shooting his virile seeds into Hidan's tight, warm hole.

Kakuzu pulls out and instantly reaches into his pocket to grab something. Hidan is too busy panting and shaking to see what it is until Kakuzu places the object on Hidan's left ring finger. He holds up Hidan's hand and grasps it tightly. Hidan sees a small, green band on his finger and Kakuzu kisses it lightly before muttering,

"I can't get you a real ring from in here, so this one will have to do." he twirls it in his fingers and stares down at Hidan lovingly. "I made it myself. Out of money. I wanted to prove to you that I can think more about you than cash. I really do love you Hidan."

Hidan stares at the ring then closes his eyes and sighs.

"It's made out of a dollar bill, isn't it?"

Kakuzu sweat drops and shuffles uncomfortably. "Er..."

Hidan laughs. He kisses Kakuzu lightly then says, "It's perfect. I would look to much like a fucking girl with a real ring anyways! I don't care that you're a dumbass cheapskate who would probably sell me in a heartbeat. I love you. I guess I am stupid..."

"You are." Kakuzu mutters, chuckling. Then before Hidan can get angry with him he place the man's hand on his chest and says, "But, I don't have a heartbeat..."

Emerald eyes meet ruby as Hidan feels the rapid flutter and pitter patter sounds of hearts.

"...I have 5. I could sell you in one, and get get you back in another. You wouldn't even notice being sold. I love you Hidan, no matter how annoying and idiotic you are. You're adorable and funny and committed to what you believe in. No matter what happens, I won't leave you or let anything happen to you."

Hidan just nods before Kakuzu picks him up and they walk out of the office, Hidan dozing off in Kakuzu's strong arms.

__________________________________________________

When Yamada wakes up the next afternoon he looks around and curses for three reasons.

1) He had a spitting headache that was quickly turning into a migraine.

2) Hidan had gotten away from him and now the date had expired for the drug to be effective.

3) His office didn't have camera's.

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**Wow... this took me a long ass time to write. I'm so tired I barely have the strength to write:**

**REVIEW!**

**KeikoPanda102**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: High School Never Ends

"Hey Kakuzu," Hidan says as he sits down next to his fiance. Kakuzu turns towards him as Hidan rubs his wrists and mutters, "How the hell did you break a solid metal handcuff?"

"I'm stronger than normal people." Kakuzu answers.

Before Hidan can inquire as to why, Zetzu stomps into the room and sits down loudly. He turns to Hidan and yells,

"What the fuck did you do to Yamada? We were just in therapy and he wouldn't stop yelling at us the entire time! He's in the worst mood."

Hidan's eyes widen but he is interrupted agin before he can answers. The loudspeaker comes on and Yamada's voice growls,

"Hidan and Kakuzu are to be sent into solitary confinement for 2 weeks for assaulting and disobeying _me._"

Hidan and Kakuzu exchange a look of surprise and annoyance. As two guards handcuff them and take them to their rooms Kakuzu growls. He is just plain pissed. He wouldn't have needed to _assault _Yamada if the man had not taken Hidan with the idea to rape him. If Yamada had actually tried to act like a normal prison warden. But no, they had gotten stuck with the freak for a superior guard.

_To top it all off, _Kakuzu thinks as his cell door is slammed closed, _now I can't have sex with Hidan for two god damned weeks. _

"Oi, Kakuzu!" He suddenly hears from the cell next to his. He perks up realizing that Hidan would be next to him for two weeks.

"What?" he asks.

"What nothing!" Hidan pouts. "I just thought you'd be happier that we are right next to each other, damn!"

Kakuzu smirks as he leans his back against the wall connecting his and Hidan's cells. "I am happy. You know what we can do now?"

Hidan also sits down against the wall as he asks innocently, "What?"

Kakuzu zips down his jumpsuit and mutters,

"Hidan, you're so sexy. So soft, so smooth, so sweet. Just thinking about you makes me want to fuck you so hard you wouldn't be able to walk for days." he wraps a hand around his suddenly hard member.

Hidan shivers at his words and uses the wall for support, his body getting hotter just at the thought of Kakuzu touching himself and thinking of him. He starts fondling his manhood through his jumpsuit.

Kakuzu groans when he hears Hidan's panting breaths and lustful moans.

"Are you touching yourself too, Hidan?"

"Th-through the jumps-suit." Hidan cries as he grabs his cock and strokes it, feeling it push against his clothes.

"Just imagine it's me doing it." Kakuzu says. "I'm kissing you, twirling your nipples in my fingers, pumping your cock so fast. Pre-cum is leaking out the tip Hidan, I want you to see it, feel it."

"Nnnnh!" Hidan says as he rips down the zipper and sticks a hand in his underwear. "Shit!"

Kakuzu moans, "Do you feel it? My mouth around your cock? Licking it. It's so hot and wet."

"Ka- Kakuzu!"

"Hidan. I love you!" Kakuzu says as he come, shaking his entire body and hitting the wall with his fist, letting the vibrations be felt by Hidan on the other side. Hidan just screams as he shoots his seed all over himself and the floor. He then turns around and presses him entire body against the wall.

"Kakuzu..." he moans. "I want you now. I- I can't wait two weeks, I fucking can't!"

"Shh Hidan. It's ok. We can do this as much as we want in here. It'll be ok." Kakuzu says, trying to calm Hidan down. He is surprised at how horny Hidan is, and how intense.

Hidan curls up against the wall and pants. "I feel hot Kakuzu. Really, really, really fucking hot. Hot as balls."

"Take deep breaths." Kakuzu commands.

"Mk..." Hidan mutters as he tries to sit up and inhale and exhale slowly. After a few minutes he sighs and Kakuzu asks nervously, "How are you now?"

"Now I just have an annoying ass stomachache..." Hidan mumbles.

Kakuzu sighs. He was pretty worried about his loudmouth lover. He smiles and says, "You just need some food. When is dinner in here?"

"We just had breakfast didn't we?" Hidan says.

There is silence in Kakuzu's cell then he just says, "Shut up Hidan..."

Hidan smirks then begins dozing off against the wall. Kakuzu sits on the other side and thinks about how lame the confinement cells are.

__________________________________________________

_Typical..._ Yamada thinks as he watches Hidan and Kakuzu jerk off to each other in the confinement cells. _They make up right after the time limit expires. Fuck my life. _

He thinks about separating their cells in spite but then he looks down at all the complaints he'd been getting all week from 'KakuHida' fans on the Kure-Ji-Kira website. They were not happy the two were in a fight. They wanted more sex and they wanted it now. He can't afford to lose them, especially not now. He needed the money to pay for another dosage of the drug. He glares as he uploads the footage of them in confinement, instantly getting many happy replies from fanatics telling him to free Hidan and Kakuzu so they could do each other.

He thinks about it for a moment then decides no. It will just be more dramatic when they finally get together to have sex.

__________________________________________________

Nothing else strange happens while Hidan and Kakuzu are in the confinement cells. Hidan stayed a normal temperature and his stomachache mostly went away. Actually they really didn't go away, he just didn't tell Kakuzu that for fear of sounding like a whiny baby.

They are both very happy when their two weeks are up and their cell doors open, releasing them from their tiny prisons. Hidan hadn't been feeling very good all morning but he puts a smile on his face as he jumps out of his cell and turns to Kakuzu. He is about to rush into his lovers arms but suddenly he turns around and throws up on the floor.

Kakuzu rushes over to him and holds his shoulders and arms as he empties his stomach. When Hidan stops for a moment Kakuzu scowls and asks,

"What's wrong?"

Hidan is panting and cringing as he stares at all the puke that just came out of him. He stands up but then he feels a shooting pain his abdomen and curls over holding his stomach.

"Gah!" he says as he collapses into Kakuzu's arms. Kakuzu hoists him into his arms and carries him to the infirmary. The entire time walking there Hidan had been gasping and clutching his stomach in agony. When Kakuzu sets him on the bed he whimpers and continues curling up in the fetal position.

In about 1 minute Yamada rushes in with an excited look on his face. He tries pushing Kakuzu to the side as him and a few scientists dash towards Hidan. He grabs Yamada's shirt in one fist and asks in a venomous tone,

"What did you do to him?"

Yamada sneers. "I don't know yet. If you only answer one mall question it may tell us."

Kakuzu's grip on him tightens as he seethes. "What?"

Yamada smirks. "Did you two have sex, in my office, when you knocked me out?"

Kakuzu stares at him wondering how the hell that could help Hidan. "Yeah, so?"

Yamada's eyes widen and light up. He turns to the scientists and yells happily, "There's a chance then! Give him the painkillers then make him take the test."

"What test?" Kakuzu growls.

Yamada looks him dead in the eye and smiles with a look of pure insanity then says giddily,

"The pregnancy test!"

__________________________________________________

**What a short ass chapter. Oh well.**

**So, I'm just gonna ask. Has anyone read ****Under Grand Hotel****? Um... if you have, I'm sorry. If you haven't, you should really read it! It's great! Also, it was the inspiration for this story.**

**Yeah, Hidan is probably pregnant. We have to wait for the results of the test to come in though, obviously. XD**

**Review and complain or laugh or whatever really.**

**KeikoPanda102**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16: My Wena

Kakuzu drops Yamada's shirt and he moves away from the stunned criminal to watch as the other scientists give Hidan painkillers and make measurements and observations on him.

A few things pass through Kakuzu's mind at the time. Yamada had injected with Hidan with an unknown drug. From Orochimaru no less. They had had sex. If what Yamada had just told him was the result of those things, he could believe it. He should believe it. Even if it made no sense in the world, it actually _did_ make sense. He has to sit down on a nearby bed.

He looks over at Hidan who wasn't acting like he was in pain anymore. Now he was just glaring at all the doctors who were trying to poke and prod him with needles and such. He suddenly glances over at Kakuzu. This makes Kakuzu start. Hidan raises an eyebrow then says loudly,

"Earth to Kakuzu! Get off your ass and help me here!"

Kakuzu is paralyzed and can't move. Hidan just starts slapping the doctors hands and needles away. He gets up and goes over to Kakuzu. He sits down next to him and punches him in the shoulder.

"What're you thinkin' Kuzu?"

Kakuzu just stares at him blankly. Yamada walks over and grabs Hidan's shoulder. He holds out a small container and says,

"Hidan, could you please go pee in this."

Hidan knew it wasn't a question but he ignored it and shakes Kakuzu's arm. Kakuzu reaches up slowly, it almost seems like slow motion to Hidan. He brushes his fingertips from Hidan's forehead, ghosting them over his eyelids, nose and mouth, along his jaw and neck, down to his collarbone and chest. He caresses the skin until he gets to his stomach and he stops. He then just gasps and Yamada says,

"We don't even know if it worked or not yet."

Kakuzu stares at him and Hidan just look around confusedly.

"What the hell are you fuckers all blabbing about!?"

Kakuzu looks back at Hidan and commands, "Go pee, Hidan."

Hidan pouts. "But I don't gotta pee dammit!"

Kakuzu scowls. "Find some pee. Now go."

Hidan stands up. "Hmph!" He walks toward the small bathroom, grumbling the entire way. "Fucking bastard... trying to make me piss when I don't gotta... retards... this is stupid as fuck...."

He doesn't stop as he closes the curtain. Everyones breath is held, waiting for something to happen. Suddenly Hidan's voice comes out over the curtain loud and clear,

"I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO IF YOU GUYS KEEP FUCKING PRESSURING ME! talk or something dammit. Don't just wait like a bunch of stupid jackasses!"

Yamada clears his throat and begins talking to the other doctors while Kakuzu just stares intently at the curtain Hidan is standing behind. He looks very focussed and intense but on the inside he is a jumbles mess of thoughts and emotions.

After a few minutes Hidan tosses open the curtain with a very annoyed look on his face and walks out, holding the cup of yellow liquid as he walks toward the group of people. He thrusts the cup at Yamada who takes it carefully and sets it on a small table. He pulls out a little electronic looking stick and places it gently in the cup of urine.

"Now we wait..." he mutters to himself mostly.

"Will that tell me how come I barfed and why I been having stomach aches?"

Yamada's smile gets wider with every word Hidan says.

"Hopefully!"

"Hm... why don't I trust you?" He asks, his eyes narrowing. He just shrugs and turns to Kakuzu, waving a hand in front of the spaced out mans face. Kakuzu ignores him and stares intently at the cup. He growls,

"How long does it take?"

Yamada smirks at him. "Just five minutes. Sheesh. You're more impatient than I am."

Kakuzu glares daggers at him. "I think I have more going on it then you do." Yamada just stares down at him with narrowed eyes then looks away contentedly.

"What the fuck is that?" Hidan asks five minutes later when Yamada pulls the instrument from the cup carefully and wipes it off.

"Shut up Hidan." Kakuzu mutters tensely as he watches Yamada adjust his glasses holds the stick up to his eyes. Everyone seems to hold their breath for a moment then Yamada smiles and says,

"It's positive. Though, did anyone really think it wouldn't be? People don't have stomachaches and morning sickness for no reason."

Kakuzu stares at him, then turns to Hidan who still has no idea what the fuck is going on. He grabs the pregnancy test from Yamada and sees a little blue plus on it. He looks up and yells,

"What the fuck does this mean!? What do I have? Some sick virus or something!?"

Yamada turns to Kakuzu and asks, "Would you like to do the honors?"

Kakuzu just glares at him then turns to Hidan.

"Hidan... don't freak out." he commands.

"Am I gonna die!?" Hidan panics.

"No!" Kakuzu sighs. "You're going to... bring a new life into the world."

Hidan just stares at him blankly then goes, "Huh?"

Kakuzu resists the urge to hit him over the head. He turns to Yamada and asks,

"Seriously, why did you choose him?"

Yamada laughs. "Deidara's body is too wild. Itachi would never let me come within 20 feet of him while I was holding a needle and Konan, well, what would be the point? No, Hidan is a very good guinea pig. He reminds me of a lab mouse."

"But he's an idiot." Kakuzu reply's.

They ignore Hidan's cursing them to hell as Yamada answers, "Ah, but that's what you're here for. You can make sure he doesn't do anything to my baby."

"Your baby!?" Kakuzu snarls. "I stopped you before it became _your baby. _This is mine and Hidan's baby."

"Baby?" Hidan suddenly says. "Is that some kinda code word or something?"

Kakuzu sighs and grabs the plastic object still in Hidan's hand. He holds it up and says slowly and clearly,

"This... is a pregnancy test. This little blue plus sign means that the person who's pee it was in, has chemicals in their body that are only there if the person is currently pregnant. Do you get it now Hidan? It's your pee. You have the chemicals. You're pregnant. You're going to have a baby. Is that clear enough for you?"

"Shut up!" Hidan glares. "and don't fucking mess with me! I'm not pregnant or whatever. I'm a guy. Duh! What's really wrong with me dammit!?"

Kakuzu sighs and hands the tester to Yamada muttering, "I tried. Now, tell me about how this drug works."

Hidan gapes at them as Yamada and the other doctors begin explaining and discussing things among themselves, leaving Hidan confused and very pissed off.

"Oi fucktards! I'm still waiting here! Tell me what the hell is going on!"

"I did tell you." Kakuzu answers him, giving him a cold look. "You didn't believe me. Like an idiot."

"You fucking bastard! You're making fun of me! I can't believe you! I really shouldn't marry you if you keep treating me li-"

"That's right!" Kakuzu says with an enlightened look on his face. "We have to get married soon now. I'm not letting you give birth to a bastard child."

Hidan falters. "Y-you're really serious about the baby thing?"

Kakuzu nods the pulls Hidan to him. He kisses him deeply then bends down so his face is level with Hidan's stomach. He holds Hidan's hips and kisses the soft skin around his navel. He looks up at a now almost teary Hidan and says,

"It's our baby, Hidan."

Hidan faints.

__________________________________________________

"GET. IT. OUT!" Hidan yells for the fifteenth time after he finally accepted that he was pregnant.

Yamada and Kakuzu were holding him down onto the bed but he was trying to struggle out of their grip.

"I'LL KILL IT! I SWEAR I'LL KILL IT!" he yells at Yamada.

"Hidan you're being ridiculous!" Kakuzu says in an annoyed tone. Hidan glares at him and yells,

"THE HELL I AM! I DON'T SEE _YOU _HAVING A FUCKING BABY!"

Kakuzu grabs Hidan face just firmly enough to make him stop struggling as he says,

"I _am _having a baby. With you. If you'll stop _being _a baby and just relax."

Hidan glares at him then takes a deep breath and exhales,

"I'LL KILL IT! I SWEAR TO JASHIN I'LL KILL IT!"

Kakuzu and Yamada exchange a glance and sigh. Yamada nods at one of the assistant and they nod back, reaching into a drawer and pulling out another needle. He taps it with a finger then hands it to Yamada.

"HEY! HEY, WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS THAT!?" Hidan asks.

"Shut up, Hidan." Kakuzu says before Yamada sticks the needle and drains the liquid into his wrist.

"FUCk you Kaku..." Hidan mutters before his eyelids close and he becomes unnaturally silent.

__________________________________________________

***Sigh* ok...**

**Please just review and I'll try to update soon. I'm not going to say anything about this. What's happening, is what's happening. That's all there is to it.**

**KeikoPanda102**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17: Punk Rock 101

"Good choice for a test subject." Kakuzu says mockingly as he and Yamada step away from a sleeping Hidan.

Yamada rolls his eyes then smiles. "He'll be fine. He just has to get used to the idea."

Kakuzu snorts. "Good luck with that."

"You'll have to help if you want this baby as well." Yamada says.

Kakuzu takes a deep breath and mutters darkly, "I know. I'm just going to have to spin it a way that he will understand and even want it. I don't trust him, though. I'm going to need to keep an eye on him twenty four seven."

Yamada laughs. "You want a room with him. Ok, I'll give you two a private 'family room'. Just make sure he's doesn't go punching his stomach or something. Also, you're going to have to continuously give him dosages of painkillers. Pain in the abdomen is a side effect."

Kakuzu nods. "Any other side effects?"

"Not that we know of. But, that is what tests are for." Yamada answers.

"When's he going to wake up?"

Yamada glances at Hidan and says, "It'll be a few hours..."

__________________________________________________

When Hidan does wake up he promptly stands up to go find a dangerous chemical to drink. Luckily(or unluckily, depending on you're point of view), Kakuzu stops him.

"Dammit Kakuzu!" Hidan spits as he struggles some more. "Why do you even want a fucking baby, asshole!? You'd probably just sell it!"

Kakuzu thinks for a moment then shrugs, thinking that it was probably true. He would sell his own child for enough money. But, that wasn't why he wanted a baby.

Kakuzu thinks and thinks some more as Hidan tries to get out of his grip. Why does he want a child? It's possibly just some chemical process worming its way through his system. He thinks that that is mostly just for the mother, but then again why shouldn't he have it too? No, he thinks that he is just trying to make up some excuse now. He should just answer Hidan honestly. He doesn't know why he wants a child.

In the darkest corners of Kakuzu's mind, where his thoughts never venture, there lies a box. Inside the box is the answer to why he wants a child. But, inside the box are also a few little things he had put away, for good, a long time ago. His morals...and his conscience. He steps closer to the box. It seems to be daring him to look inside, maybe just peek, just to find out why he wants a child. But no, Kakuzu may not have a lot of self control all the time, but for this, he does. He turns around and shuts the door on his thoughts, not looking back.

Inside the box, his morals are screaming:

"The reason you want a child, is because you _know, _deep, deep down inside, that you cannot put a price-tag on a child. Sure, you can pretend that it's just a human, you've sold humans before, in fact, people do it all the time. BUT NO! STOP AND LISTEN KAKUZU! This isn't just a human. It's a baby! And no matter what religions or anybody says, everyone is born _innocent. _Therein lies the _problem. _The innocent in this world are so few and far between that if you have just one of these precious innocent beings, life just seems _better_."

If Kakuzu had heard his morals or his conscience or whatever it was, he may have changed completely and become an entirely different person. But, then he wouldn't be Kakuzu, now would he? No. Kakuzu just left it alone, figuring that if he couldn't think of anything, it must not be that important.

"Hidan, you know what we could do with a baby? Do you know all the perks we could get in here? I already talked Yamada into letting us have a private room, just me and you. That's just the tip of the iceberg! I bet we can have anything we asked, or you that is. Yamada wants this baby to be perfect so I bet he'd do anything, short of letting us out of here."

"I don't fucking want anything except this parasite out of me!" Hidan replies.

Kakuzu growls thinking, _I didn't want to have to go here..._

"Hidan..." he says his fiancé's name very slowly and meaningfully. Hidan reluctantly looks at him with annoyance. "If- if you have a kid... you can make sure he or she... becomes a Jashinist. You always say that one of the main goals of Jashinist's is finding new members! How could you pass up an opportunity like this one! It would just be- it'd be... unfaithful!"

Hidan's eyes widen and a tiny gasp escapes his lips. He looks away and mutters,

"I- I hadn't thought bout it like that..."

"Of course not," Kakuzu says mockingly, "You were too busy being a whiny idiot!"

"Humph!" Hidan replies. Then he stands up, Kakuzu watching him carefully, in case his ploy hadn't worked, though he got the impression it did the trick.

Hidan sighs. "Ok..."

Kakuzu smirks and pats Hidan on he back. "Good, let's go see our new room."

"K..." Hidan mutters as he rubs his eyes and yawns.

"Crazy day..." Kakuzu mutters as he strokes Hidan's head. He then looks thoughtful for a moment and asks, "Just wondering but... why _didn't _you want a baby?"

Hidan groans, "I'm gonna get fat!"

Kakuzu stops then hits Hidan across the back of the head he was just caressing. He then chuckles as Hidan attacks him and he mutters, "Typical..."

__________________________________________________

"So when are you two getting married, un?" Deidara asks loudly the moment Hidan and Kakuzu step foot into the common room the next morning. Kakuzu stares at him blankly then asks, just as flatly,

"Do you guys know about...?"

"The baby? Yeah!" He replies, snickering.

"Yamada is so lucky he didn't try that shit on me." Itachi mutters darkly. "In fact, I'm surprised you're ok with it, Hidan..."

"Don't fucking get me started! I'm NOT happy about this one little b-" He stops and wrinkles his nose. After a minute he starts turning a little green and covers his face entirely saying in a slightly muffled voice, "What the bloody fucking hell is that smell!?"

One of the inmates who is walking by stops then smiles and starts moving his hands all twitchy as he tries to rap, "What the bloody fucking hell- is that smell? Nice!" He then pulls out a notepad and writes something down then walks away while mumbling raps to himself. Pein sighs.

"That's Bumble Bee. Surprisingly enough, his rapping isn't what got him in here."

The table laughs except Hidan and Kakuzu who is knelt over his fiance looking worried. Suddenly Hidan seems to shake it off and sit up straighter. He gulps then shudders as Sasori asks,

"What was that?"

Hidan just shakes his head. "No one else here smelled that!? I mean, I can still fucking smell it too! I just don't know where it's coming from!"

Kakuzu looks around and sees a plate of beans and rice. He raises an eyebrow and holds it up to Hidan's face. Hidan cringes and gives it a loathsome look. The others stare at him like he's crazy.

Kakuzu tosses the beans and rice into the trash, ignoring Konan's complaints then shrugs to Hidan who looks better, but confused.

"It's probably a side effect. That reminds me, I need to give you you're painkillers. Yamada said the pain in your abdomen would only be there at the beginning but I don't know how long that is."

"That's a side effect?" Hidan asks incredulously, rubbing his stomach. "I thought I just had gas!"

Kakuzu refrains from laughing along with the rest of the table and when it dies down he says solemnly, "Yes, it has something to do with the transformation process. You don't naturally have the right organs, so the drug basically builds them for you. Like, I said, it should be gone in a few days."

Zetsu sticks out his tongue and makes a face, "Gross!"

"Say's the guy who eats people!" Kisame replies with a smirk.

"Like you've never tried human, shark-boy." Zetsu sneers.

"Not nice." Kisame says as the table bursts out laughing. Itachi doesn't laugh though. He hadn't laughed, or even smiles since the party in the red room. Kisame would be more nervous but he knew the stuck up Uchiha hated pity, so he never gave him any.

__________________________________________________

**Review pweeeease! You know you want to!**

**KeikoPanda102**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18: Kiss, Kiss Fall In Love

Yamada walks into the common room and clears his throat. Everyone goes quiet except a bickering Hidan and Kakuzu.

"I'm not fat, jackass!" Hidan yells.

"I didn't say you were, idiot." Kakuzu replies, shoving Hidan off of him.

"You poked my stomach like it was in your way! And we haven't done anal since that bastard did this shit to me!-"

Kakuzu wraps his arms around Hidan's head, covering his mouth as he mutters, "Dumbass. Shut up for once. We aren't supposed to."

"I don't give a damn." Hidan says through Kakuzu's arm.

Yamada stares at them for a moment then clears his throat again and says,

"Now that everyone is quiet. I have an announcement to make..."

"Hm..." Pein says lightly. "Seems we're getting a new friend."

"How do you know?" Hidan asks rudely.

"He only ever comes here to announce it if we're getting a new inmate. I wonder who it is. He looks even more pleased than when he got you." They look back up at Yamada and his eyes narrow in fake sadness as he continues.

"This particular man, well, he's really only a boy, murdered one of my very good friends. He then admitted to it and requested to be sent here. Obviously he has some type of metal illness so, I obliged. Also, he had three others help him with this act of murder and asked me very kindly if they could come as well. This is a very special day. We get four new guests and one of them is non other than..."

"...Uchiha Sasuke!"

He turns towards the door and holds his arm out, as if showing off his prize. Through the dark doorway walks in an equally dark figure. He is looking towards the ground but as soon as he steps into the crowded room he lifts his head just enough so his dark red glare can be seen burning towards a symmetrical pair of surprised red eyes. Itachi sighs heavily and looks away. Sasuke doesn't stop glaring until a girl with long red hair and glasses whom no one had noticed before places a hand on his shoulder. He looks down, his eyes seeming to fade back to black, as she walks past him along with two other males that look around the same age.

The tenseness in the room was unbelievable and no one knows how to break it. Hidan tries to yell something out a few times but Kakuzu just slaps a hand over his mouth. No one even realized that Yamada was still in the room until he smirks and says,

"Because of our new inmates, we have to have some small room changes. Don't worry, it won't affect most of you. But since we now have more than one girl, we can make a room just for them. That means Konan will move out of her old room with Itachi and Deidara, and be moving in with Karin. Juugo, Suigetsu, and Sasuke will be staying with Pein."

Pein snorts. "Glad he asked if I wanted to share my room."

"I don't want to have to room with some bratty bitch." Konan says as she watches Karin give her a contempt glare.

"You guys are selfish, only thinking about you're own problems. What about Itachi?" Sasori says, glancing towards the emotionless Uchiha.

Everyone stiffens a little but Itachi just shrugs and says flatly, "I knew this would happen one day. My younger brother's mind is not very difficult to figure out."

"If that's true... then why are you shaking?" Kisame asks in a dead tone.

Itachi stiffens then suddenly his hand is around Kisame's neck, red eyes seeming to spin in anger and hatred. His seethes through clenched teeth,

"You don't know what you're talking about." After a minute he releases Kisame's throat and walks away, only turning back for a split second to mutter,

"Don't touch me anymore."

Everyone at the table is silent as Itachi walks toward the uke. After a moment Kisame exhales and runs a hand through his hair. Deidara let's out a low whistle and mutters,

"Ouch, un..."

"Nah." Kisame answers. "I pretty much knew this would happen one day. The only reason I had even been allowed to touch that pretty boy was because I had his permission. If he hadn't wanted it, it never would have happened, it's just that simple."

"Is it just us, or does Itachi not seem to give off the uke vibe anymore?" Zetsu asks slowly.

"He never really did, he just had an uke body. But, compared to Sasuke over there..." Pein smirks. "Well we all know what would happen..."

They nod, chuckling a bit, as Yamada talks animatedly to a very emo looking Sasuke.

__________________________________________________

"Shower tiiime!" Tobi yells happily as he rushes past Itachi room with nothing but a towel around his waist. Itachi quietly follows after him with a reserved look on his face. He was tense. He didn't think stopping contact with Kisame would handicap him as well. But, it was necessary.

At the other entrance to the shower hallway, a red head is trying to sneak her way through the doors when a strong hand catches her by the back of her jumpsuit. Karin turns around and glares at Konan who is looking down at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Let go!" Karin squeals as she struggles to get out of Konan's grip. "This is my chance to see Sasuke naked! He always knows I'm coming every other time I've tried before!"

She starts to drool a little at the prospect of a nude Sasuke and Konan just sighs. "Don't even bother. Uchiha's _know _things. Like, when I first came here, I was pretending to be a girl and Itachi knew the second I walked in the room. I bet if I ever had the inclination to try and see him naked, I would fail epically. Just as you are about to do, stupid girl. Come on. We have separate showers."

She drags a pouting Karin away as she asks,

"You're not afraid of being raped?"

Karin smiles evilly. "I think others should be more afraid of being raped by me. Heh heh heh..."

Konan hits her across the head and scowls. "You're going to fit right in around here."

__________________________________________________

Itachi freezes as he walks into the shower room.

_That fucking _bastard _Yamada!_ He thinks as he stares at the pale, smooth back of his one and only living relative.

Luckily, being an Uchiha, his emotions do not reach his face. When Sasuke turns around and his face turns into a intense snarl Itachi just smirks back.

"So, little brother, you decided to kill Orochimaru even after he obviously went to all the trouble of training you to defeat me."

"That perverted snake was... It doesn't fucking matter! I only went to him for one reason! I'm strong enough now..."

Itachi's smirk just widens. "Well then do it, foolish little brother." Suddenly, Itachi is standing nearly nose to nose with Sasuke and has one hang placed gently on his chest. "Or... maybe you can't."

Sasuke's eyes widen as Itachi pushes him up against the wall. Everyone in the baths watch with baited breath, most of all, Kisame. He knows he going to have to make a choice. Itachi expects him to make a choice. He just doesn't know which one his raven haired lover wants him to make.

Sasuke's anger blinds him and he starts throwing attack after attack which Itachi easily dodges. He even laughs.

"Even with my eyes being less than great, and all of your 'training' with Orochimaru, you still cannot control your emotions enough to harness them into the power needed to defeat me. Try again later, foolish little brother." Itachi smirks as he taps Sasuke on the forehead and walks away.

Sasuke acts as if he will go after him but then Juugo and Suigetsu seem to cause some sort of problem and Sasuke has to go and control them. Itachi watches him the entire time, taking in the precious sight of his gorgeous little brother. Suddenly he senses a very familiar presence stand behind him.

He smiles slightly as Kisame grabs onto one of his wrists and pulls another hand through his long, wet hair. He jerks Itachi head up and slides his tongue from Itachi's chin to his closed eyes. He tightens his hold on Itachi's wrist as he murmurs lowly in the uke's ear,

"Who says I can't touch you?"

Itachi whispers back, "This is the last time."

Kisame's face grows sad for a moment and he scowls muttering, "I know. I'll make it memorable."

He throws Itachi on the ground and a few look over, including Sasuke, who's eyes widen in surprise. Itachi doesn't whimper when he hits the cold tiles. His face is also a mask when Kisame firmly rips his legs open and thrusts himself inside.

Sasuke watches with complete and total shock on his face. Sure, he had joked and said his brother was probably being fucked in prison but... he had never expected it to be so... _degrading_. He had never seen his brother look so vulnerable or so... beautiful.

When Kisame starts thrusting while tweaking Itachi's nipples and licking his glistening, toned stomach, Sasuke finds himself licking his lips. He instantly thinks of Naruto being in that position. They hadn't had sex ever before he left. Sasuke had wanted to, but Naruto hadn't been ready.

Itachi arches his back into the caresses and it begins to look more like love making than rape like it had begun. Kisame's hands flow through Itachi silken hair as he kisses the man's flushes cheek lightly.

Kisame ignores the facts that threaten to take the magic away from the moment. Like how this will be the last time he will ever touch his beloved. Or that fact that Itachi is merely putting on a show for his _precious little brother. _As if Itachi read his mind, he speaks up and murmurs in a breathy hiss,

"I'm glad we got to do this one last time. I really did, aahh, learn to love you, Kisame." he smiles suddenly. "Just... _not _like a brother."

Kisame laughs a rough, gargle of a sound and kisses Itachi deeply.

"I won't forget you. No matter how hard you try and make me."

He starts pounding in, letting Itachi feel the pain and pleasure of the experience mix into one until finally the elder Uchiha clenches his teeth and groans lowly as he sprays his seed over the tiles. Kisame instantly pulls out, making sure to cum on Itachi. He then rubs his essence all over the pale chest while Itachi gives him a lustful look of gratitude through lidded eyes.

Itachi sighs then turns slowly to glance at his younger brother. He smiles and says,

"Welcome to Kure-Ji-Kira, Sasuke."

__________________________________________________

**Just a bit of Uchihacest and KisaIta to help me cope with the fact that I have no inspiration what-so-ever to write about Hidan's pregnancy. **

**I have lots of ideas for **_**after **_**the pregnancy, but first I have to get through this boringness. **

**Please review, even if you say it sucks. Unless FanFiction is still being a butt about it's review and shit. XD**

**KeikoPanda102**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 18: Bad Boy

Kakuzu pauses from reading his book to glance at a fidgeting Hidan. HIdan himself doesn't notice his glance and just continues his annoyed movements and angry glares. His eyes fall down to his protruding stomach and he makes a disgusted face. He jerks his head up and stares around the room as if looking for something. The wide pink orbs narrow in a twisted smile when they rest on another prisoner who is sitting across the room sipping something out of a metal flask.

"Don't even think about it." Kakuzu growls in a low tone.

Hidan shoots a glare at him and replies, "One sip won't hurt!"

"Three words. FETAL ALCOHOL SYNDROME."

"So? The baby'll die. No big deal." Hidan shrugs.

"Wrong." Kakuzu says sternly. "The baby won't die. It'll be born with a birth defect. It's chances of having a functioning brain are already slim enough with having you as it's mother. No drugs, or alcohol. That's final."

Hidan groans and slumps back in his chair. He glares at his stomach and mutters, "You better fuckin' be worth it." Then he looks up and says loudly,

"Kakuzu! I'm hungry. Get me food!"

Kakuzu doesn't even look up from his book as he reply's, "Get it yourself."

Hidan fumes.

"Jackass!" he yells as he walks to the snack bar.

When he returns Kakuzu doesn't look up from his book. Hidan glares at him then Kakuzu says flatly,

"We're getting married tomorrow."

Hidan stops licking the popsicle he had just gotten and stares at Kakuzu blankly.

"Fine." he says after a minute.

"Hm," Kakuzu mutters as he turns the page of his book. "That's it? No, 'JASHIN FUCKING DAMMIT NO WAY WAY IN HELL AM I MARRYING YOU BASTARD,' or something like that?"

Hidan smirks.

"I'm saving that for the vows."

__________________________________________________

"Why are we getting married again?" Hidan asks only moments before they have to walk in front of all their friends to make a lifelong commitment to each other.

"You love me, remember." Kakuzu smirks.

"Pfft! Yeah right." Hidan replies as he smoothes back his hair in a mirror.

Suddenly Kakuzu grabs Hidan around the waist. He pulls the shorter man to him and presses his lips against a warm, slightly surprised mouth. Hidan closes his eyes and leans into the kiss. They share each others warmth for a few moments before Kakuzu places a hand on Hidan's protruding stomach and pushes him away.

"This is why." he says as he rubs the unborn child inside Hidan. Hidan pushes away from him and rolls his eyes.

"That's the only reason? Let's just get rid of it then we won't have to deal with any of this shit."

Kakuzu frowns. "Believe it or not moron, I want this kid now. So stop trying to kill it, or I might kill you. Also, I just meant that this wasn't the way I wanted to be married. If you tried using your brain for half a second you might remember that I asked you to marry me before Yamada ever injected you. I had a plan where we would escape from here then get married but obviously the plan had to be altered when you got pregnant. We're getting married now."

Kakuzu is about to walk out of the small room they are in but Hidan halts and goes,

"Stop! I just thought of something!"

"What now?" Kakuzu asks, annoyed.

"How the fuck are we getting married!? We're both guys! I don't care if I'm preggers I still got a dick!"

"We're in Massachusetts."

Hidan is silent after Kakuzu states this information flatly. Then he looks utterly bemused and he yells,

"Since when!?!?!?!"

Kakuzu just stares at him. "Hidan... you've been here for nearly a year and you never even knew what state you were in?"

"When Yamada came and got me got I was in some cheapo prison in Alabama. I swear I don't remember the car ride being that long!" Hidan is now tripping out like crazy trying desperately to remember the day he got sent to Kure-Ji-Kira.

"He probably knocked you out for the plane ride." Kakuzu shrugs.

"I don't remember that shit at all."

"What does it matter?" Kakuzu asks as he pushes Hidan towards the common room where they are holding the wedding.

"I guess it doesn't but... wait! You never answered the question! How are we getting married if we're two men!?"

"I did answer the question dumbass. Gay marriage is legal in Massachusetts."

"Wow." Hidan says, surprised. "Cool."

"Hm." Kakuzu hums as he pushes Hidan towards the open door. "You should really watch the news more."

"But it's booooring!" Hidan whines.

"To you, I bet it is. Why don't you just watch the comedy central news? The daily show, colbert report?"

"Comedy central has news shows?" Hidan asks.

Kakuzu just laughs. "Idiot." he mutters as he walks with Hidan into the common room.

Everyone in the prison is there and all of Akatsuki is sitting near the front. When Hidan and Kakuzu walk in, half of them start cheering and catcalling. Hidan just flicks them off as he walk towards the alter where a cheerful looking priests is standing next to an equally cheerful looking Yamada.

When they step up in front of everyone Hidan instantly turns around and announces to the audience,

"Just so everyone knows I'm only marrying this bastard cuz he knocked me up!"

The crowd laughs when Kakuzu smacks the back of Hidan's head and growls, "Was that necessary?"

Hidan just smiles at him and Kakuzu rolls his eyes back. They turn to the very shocked priest who looks down at Hidan's stomach then at Yamada and asks,

"I thought you said this was a gay marriage?"

Yamada nods. "It is." he then quickly explains the drug he had invented to the shocked priest and asks with a smile. "I thought you were an open-minded man, Mr. Brown?"

"I am!" Mr. Brown says as a hand goes up to rub his bald head. "But this is just unbelievable! Can you imagine what the gay community will be like when this gets out-"

"And that is exactly why we had you sign that little confidentiality form before all this, remember?"

Mr. Brown's eyes widen and then he nods jerkily and stares at Hidan and Kakuzu as Yamada steps back and lets the ceremony begin.

"We are gathered here today to commemorate the joining of these two people in the company of their friends and god-"

"Oh hell no!" Hidan yells.

Kakuzu puts his head in his hand as Hidan begins yelling and screaming at poor Mr. Brown for not being a Jashin believer. Basically, that goes on for about 20 minutes until Yamada finally calms Hidan down. At this point the priest is nearly in tears and keep eyeing the door as if he will make a run for it.

He skips everything usually said in a wedding and rushes through even the most important part,

"Do-you-take-this-man-to-be-your-husband?"

"Yes." Kakuzu says, smiling, despite all the insanity of his wedding day. He figures he couldn't have asked for anything better when marrying Hidan.

Mr. Brown nods. He turns nervously to Hidan and asks, cringing, "Do-you-take-this-"

"Hell yeah I do!"

And he thrusts himself onto Kakuzu before the minister can even begin to tell him to "kiss the erm, guy who receives."

Kakuzu wraps his arms around Hidan as the younger man seems determined to conjoin his entire body around Kakuzu. He even jumps up and makes Kakuzu grab his ass just so he can stay up. Kakuzu laughs into the kiss. Hidan just bites his lower lip then slides his tongue inside the warm cavern. He is just getting a good taste of Kakuzu when he feels someone tug on the back of his jumpsuit and pull him away. Kakuzu smiles and waves at him as he struggles to get away from Deidara, Tobi, and Konan while they pull him away from the alter telling him,

"We need to get you ready for the after party!!!"

"No one said shit about an after party." Hidan says after they throw him softly into a small room and begin taking his clothes off. Deidara even raises an eyebrow and says sharply,

"You know, un... you kinda have a seme body too, yeah?" He then pats Hidan's stomach and laughs. "Except for this part!"

Hidan glares as Deidara giggles and Konan rolls her eyes at them. Hidan then glances down at his finger. The middles ring finger has a small silver band around it that twinkles in the fluorescent light. Kakuzu had actually taken Hidan's preferences into account when buying it. It was his Jashin symbol with one miniscule diamond in the center of the triangle. Hidan knew it was cheap, probably the cheapest sold, he wouldn't even be surprised if Kakuzu had stolen it or gotten someone to steal it for him. But, he knew it was real, 100% real. Real silver and real diamond. He didn't know how he knew, Kakuzu hadn't told him, nor was he someone who was informed in the ways of jewelry. He just knew.

This thought makes him smile goofily. He reaches up and kisses the ring then finds himself subconsciously rubbing his stomach for the first time. He doesn't even notice what he is doing but then stops when Tobi slides something up his leg.

"Oi, oi what the hell is that!?" he cries.

Tobi laughs and says gleefully, "It's you're garter belt Hidan! A wedding tradition!"

Hidan just blushes and glares as Tobi pushes it farther up his leg.

"And don't forget to toss the bouquet un!"

"This whole thing is fuckin' pussy ass chicken shit." Hidan spits as he walks into the red room where Kakuzu and all of Akatsuki would be hanging out for the night.

Yamada had given them the room for the night purposely so Hidan and Kakuzu wouldn't even be tempted to have sex and possibly screw up his entire experiment. Hidan didn't mind, he found the whole wedding thing tiring.

He grumbled the entire time he had to throw the bouquet and cut the cake and dance to some dumbass slow song while the others just took pictures and laughed. He kept trying to crawl over to the bed and climb into it's soft warmth but Kakuzu stopped him every time he would attempt.

The party was just getting started and was going well. Konan was trying to make Pein give a speech and he was looking determinedly cross about it. No one even noticed that Kisame sat alone, his dark haired inamorata was no where to be found.

Around eleven Yamada enters the room looking solemn. Kisame instantly stands when Yamada looks down and says in a grim voice, completely draining the room of cheer,

"Itachi Uchiha is dead."

__________________________________________________

**Sasuke: No seriously, I killed him.**

**KeikoPanda102: *gasp!* Why!? Oh my god you are such a DOUCHEBAG! **

**Sasuke: Whatever. You don't know what I've been through...**

**KeikoPanda102: What!? tell me what the hell you've been through you asshole! Everyone loves you for no reason! Everyone thinks you're a genius even though you are just plain stupid! And you know what, you don't deserve Naruto!!! That's right, I said it! *stabs Sasuke***

***Sasuke dies***

**KeikoPanda102: Ehem... sorry about that. Had to um, handle a little... something. anyways... yeah, Itachi's dead. It's sad. Get over it. LOL, i love how like, no one cared when Orochimaru died... XD**

**Please review!**

**KeikoPanda102**


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20: Ordinary Day

None of them get a chance to react to the news that their friend and comrade is deceased before Yamada motions to someone outside the door and says,

"These four are the ones responsible."

Four guards enter the room dragging struggling Karin and Suigetsu while Juugo just comes along quietly, and Sasuke seems in a daze. He is also covered in blood and sweat, nearly dead by the look of him. But, when he glances up, he pierces all of them with a signature Uchiha glare then let's his head fall down to his chest in exhaustion.

The guards toss them into the room, on the floor. Karin and Suigetsu turn around and glare but Juugo just looks down at Sasuke nervously. He is laying limp on the ground, his eyes closed.

Yamada turns to leave as he says, "Do with them as you wish."

The door closes, and locks. There is dead silence in the room. Everyone, including Hidan is very much awake now. After a moment Pein says in a monotonous voice,

"You killed him?"

Karin snarls and yells back, "Yeah! We killed him alright! What are you gonna do-"

Konan goes up and slaps her across the face. "Don't you dare insult either one of those brothers! All of us here know you three did nothing to help kill Itachi. If Sasuke's pride was anything like his brother's... he would do it alone. I bet he didn't even want you all there!"

Karin looks away, knowing all of what Konan says is true. Juugo and Suigetsu get into a protective form around Sasuke as Juugo asks,

"Are you going to kill him?"

Suigetsu steps in and says, "Yeah! Cuz if you do you'll have to go through us!"

Pein just narrows his eyes and growls, "Sasuke Uchiha is a moron,"

"and a prick." Konan adds.

"An Idiot."

"Fuck face!"

"Douche-bag, un."

"Bastard."

"Meany!"

"**Complete** asshole."

"But..." Kisame says softly as he sits down. "He is Itachi's brother. So no, we will not kill him."

There is silence for a while then Sasuke groans on the floor. Karin looks at him then pulls up her sleeve. The others see bite marks on her skin then watch as she makes Sasuke bite down and suck. After a while he lets go of her skin and opens his eyes slowly, looking around. When he sees where he he looks down, almost in a bow, and says in an uncaring voice,

"You can kill me if you want."

"Sasuke!" Karin cries.

He doesn't look up. "I've gotten my revenge. I don't want to live if I'm going to be stuck in here forever."

All of Akatsuki is silent then Pein asks,

"What if you could get out of here? Would you want to live then?"

Sasuke looks up, the tiniest glimmer of hope in his eyes.

"Are you planning to esc-" Suigetsu starts but is cut off by Karin punching him. He turns to her and she motions to the many camera's in the room.

"Would you all like to join Akatsuki?" Pein asks.

Sasuke looks thoughtful for a moment then he just nods. The other three take that as a sign and they all nod as well. Pein nods then turns to Kakuzu saying,

"We should get his wounds treated for real. Sorry for the inconvenience on your wedding night Kakuzu, Hidan."

Kakuzu walks over to Sasuke Hidan yawns and says, "It's ok. Does this mean I can go to sleep now?"

"Sure." Kakuzu answer. Then he looks back and adds. "And since this is mine and Hidan's night, we get the bed, no sharing. All the rest of you are sleeping on the floor."

The other Akatsuki members groan and Zetsu even spits, "Stingy!" Hidan just smiles and kisses Kakuzu before sliding into the bed.

Deidara glances nervously at Kisame then he goes over to him and asks in a small voice, "Are you alright, un?"

"Huh?" Kisame asks then he just shakes his head to stop from looking so dazed and says, "I'm fine. I knew this was going to happen. Itachi... wanted it this way."

Deidara's eyes widen.

"Don't tell anyone." Kisame says before laying back on the seat and closing his eyes.

It doesn't take Kakuzu long to patch Sasuke's wounds and he leaves the tired Uchiha alone to go lie in bed with a now sleeping Hidan. Karin, Suigetsu, Juugo and Sasuke group together towards the front of the room but halfway through the night, when everyone else is asleep, Tobi goes over to Sasuke and whispers something to him so even all the microphones in the room couldn't pick it up.

Sasuke's eye shoot open wide and his heart catches. A single tear fall from his eyes as Tobi continues talking in a low whisper.

__________________________________________________

Over the next few days Sasuke would spend a lot of time with Tobi and Zetsu. No one really questioned it, they just figured Sasuke got a long with Tobi easily, most people did. There was only one time when Sasuke almost got into a fight with another inmate named Bumble Bee but Pein had been able to stop the fight before someone died.

The only person who seemed really changed by Itachi's death was Kisame. He wouldn't speak unless spoken to directly. He wasn't eating and had gotten thinner. A few had asked him if he had any hard feelings towards Sasuke but he just replied,

"I could never hate someone so much like Itachi."

When people asked him if he was in love with Sasuke he would reply,

"I could never replace Itachi. Especially with the same person Itachi himself was in love with."

When Deidara tried telling him that Itachi wouldn't have wanted him to act this way he just scowled and replied,

"Itachi is dead."

About two weeks since Itachi's death, they are eating lunch and Kisame sits down at their table with his food. He picks at it lazily until someone pokes his back and says in an annoyed voice,

"Hey! You're in my seat Fish-face."

Kisame turns around to see Suigetsu staring down at him. He snickers though he is not really amused as he replies,

"Fish-face? Look who's talking."

Suigetsu frowns and says, "You're just jealous you could look this good, ugly!"

Kisame snap. He stands up swiftly and before Suigetsu can do anything he pins the younger boy against the table and leans over him. The rest of the table is quiet as Kisame says softly in Suigetsu's ear,

"Don't mess with me, kid. I could devour you in one bite."

He then just stands up, places his hands in his pockets, and walks away. Suigetsu stares at his back until he turns the corner. He looks annoyed as he turns around and takes his seat. Everyone is looking at him then they soon start to try and muffle their laughter. He growls,

"What are you all laughing about!?"

Most stop laughing and look around awkwardly until Suigetsu looks down at his food and starts poking and prodding it just like Kisame had been doing only a few minutes ago.

Suddenly, Yamada's voice comes over the loudspeakers,

"Sasuke Uchiha, you have a guest."

The table turn to looks at Sasuke but he just stares down at his food unfazed. Yamada's voice comes on the loudspeaker again and this tim he seems annoyed,

"I repeat; Sasuke Uchiha, you have a guest. Please come to the guest room to see him."

Sasuke still does not move. Now Yamada's voice gets more authoritative,

"Sasuke Uchiha, stand up from the lunch table and walk out of the common room now."

"Hn." Sasuke says, still not moving. "Damn camera's."

The loudspeaker doesn't go off and Yamada starts again,

"There will be consequences if you do not-"

There seems to be some sort of disturbance from the loudspeaker and a lot of cursing and scraping can be heard until a louder voice than Yamada's yells into it,

"SASUKE! YOU BETTER GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR I'LL COME IN THERE AND GET- shut the fuck up you loser! I'll go see him if I want to! No! Wait, don't take the-"

There us silence for a moment then Yamada's voice comes on again with a lot of yelling in the back round,

"Excuse me for that interruption. One last chance Sasuke, or I'm sending Mr. Uzumaki away for today."

Sasuke just leans back in his chair and says clearly, "I don't give a damn what you do with him."

Over the loudspeaker there is even louder yelling that seems to get farther away until it disappears entirely then Yamada says clearly and calmly,

"Very well."

The loudspeaker is shut off and everyone avoids Sasuke's thoughtful glare until he gets up and throws his lunch away then walks over to the television.

There is silence at the Akatsuki table and Deidara decides to break it by turning to Hidan and asking,

"How far along are you, yeah?"

"The hell should I know." Hidan replies with a grimace.

"He's five months." Kakuzu says.

"Oh wow!" Konan says happily. "I didn't know it'd been that long! So much has happened I guess we just didn't notice the time passing. You know you should probably be able to tell the gender of the baby by now."

Hidan looks up, suddenly intrigued.

"Really?" he asks. He turns to Kakuzu who also looks interested and asks,

"When's my next checkup thingy?"

"Tomorrow. This is good. We can start thinking of names once we know it's gender."

__________________________________________________

**Next chapter is baby time! Boy or girl, boy or girl!? or... both!? We shall seeeeee!!!! And I wonder how Hidan and Kakuzu will ever decide on a name!? This is getting good don't you think?**

**Also, I would like to say that the main reason I wrote this and posted it so fast was because of moto2201! So this chapter is dedicated to you! congrats! XD**

**Reviews are like sweets**

**you can't ever have just one**

**I would like some more**

**And there is a review haiku for you!**

**KeikoPanda102**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21: You Belong With Me

Kakuzu and Hidan head swiftly to their makeshift prenatal care room. It's really just Kure-Ji-Kira's medical room but Yamada enjoys calling it a 'prenatal care' room. Kakuzu had even started calling it that as well. Hidan thought that name was pussy and just called it, "that gay room where I get shit stuck in me and it's cold as a mother-fucker and it smells like piss."

They walk in and Hidan is pouting once again because his feet ache, his back is sore and he really, really wants a churro for some reason and nobody will get him one. He does cheer up at the fact that he will be finding out the gender of the baby today and he even smiles when he lays down on the hard metal table next to a bunch of electronic looking equipment. He shivers when one of Yamada's assistant doctors unzips his jumpsuit so his entire stomach is exposed to the cold air. Yamada walks in while putting on his gloves and asks with a raised eyebrow,

"Why are you so happy today?"

"We can tell what the gender of the baby will be today, can't we?" Kakuzu asks.

Yamada just rolls his eyes. "We found that out weeks ago. I didn't know you guys were both so interested."

"WHAT!?" Hidan yells. "What is it!? Girl or boy or whatever!?"

Yamada laughs. "It's actually quite interesting... In the test done on lab mice and other mammals, the most common outcome was twin males-"

"TWINS!?" Hidan nearly pulls his hair out. "You have got to be fucking kidding me!"

Yamada rolls his eyes once again. "If you would shut your trap for a moment then I could maybe mention that NO, you are not having twins. It's a girl, if you must know. One, single little girl. Let's hope it stays that way until it comes out."

Hidan's eyes widen. He looks down at himself and stutters,

"A- a girl?"

"Mhm..." Yamada replies as he focuses his attention something else. He leaves Hidan and Kakuzu to themselves for a moment as he discusses scientific things with the other doctors. Kakuzu is looking thoughtful as Hidan just seems shell-shocked. After a minute Kakuzu shrugs.

"I hadn't pictured a girl, but I suppose it's ok. Not like we can do anything about it anyway."

"A girl..." Hidan mutters.

Kakuzu glances at him nervously as if afraid he's going to make a grab for the nearest knife and rip open his stomach as he had threatened to do before. Hidan just smiles a little.

"I guess it's better than twins." He says finally. Kakuzu exhales.

"Did you want a boy?"

Hidan shrugs. "I didn't have a name for a boy."

Now Kakuzu is interested. "Do you have a name for a girl?"

"Tenmei." Hidan says.

Kakuzu wrinkles his nose. "Karma and god's will? I don't think so Hidan. I like the mei part though... So how about Reimei?"

Hidan glares at him. "I like Tenmei. Who gives a damn about fame and good fortune? She should be one of Jashin's children and know her place under his watchful eye. Besides... Tenmei sounds better."

Kakuzu's eyes narrow in preparation for battle. They argue about the name all through Hidan's check up and all the way until they get back into the common room where they ask the others what they think they should name her.

"Oh, it's a girl then?" Konan asks happily.

"Yeah, yeah." Hidan waves at her. "Tell him that Tenmei is a better girls name."

"What's the other name?" Sasori asks.

"Reimei." Kakuzu replies.

Deidara laughs. "Both of your names mean dawn, yeah. You should just name her Akatsuki after all of us."

Hidan and Kakuzu are taken aback for a moment then they both look thoughtful. They turn back towards each other and mumble,

"Well... I guess Akatsuki is a pretty name..."

"Yeah..."

Suddenly Tobi interjects, shouting,

"Why not just Mei? Mei is a pretty name!"

Both Hidan's and Kakuzu's eyes shoot open and they smile. They meet each others gazes as they both say that the same time,

"Dark..."

Kakuzu smirks. "Won't we be condemning her to a life of mischief and bad reputations?"

Pein rolls his eyes. "With you two as parents how could you expect anything more?"

"Mei..." Hidan says as he smiles at Leader-sama's words.

"I like it too." Kakuzu says. "Though I still think Reimei was just as good."

Hidan rolls his eyes. "I would never let you name her that."

Kakuzu smirks as he pulls Hidan closer.

"You're just lucky I didn't name her *Okane."

*Money

Hidan growls. "Bastard! **You're **lucky I didn't name her Jashina!"

Kakuzu makes a face. "That's a terrible name!"

"So is Okane!"

"Better than fucking Jashina! She would be made fun of!"

"Bullshit! If anyone tries to make fun of her, i'll teach her to kill 'em!" Hidan says with a smile.

"You're going to make our innocent daughter a murderer?"

Hidan shrugs. "She has to be tough at least. We've got to make sure she lives up to her name. Mei... I really like it!"

Kakuzu laughs. "Me too. Though Okane is still an option."

"Fuck off..." Hidan jokes as he wanders off to go get something to eat.

__________________________________________________

One day Hidan is bored so he goes and sits down next to Zetsu on the couch. He glances at the bipolar man who has his arm around Tobi and after a minute Zetsu growls,

"Do you need something, Hidan?"

"I was just wondering how you guys make out?"

Zetsu and Tobi glance at each other then bust out laughing. Hidan gets annoyed and yells,

"I'm serious! I've never seen Tobi take that damn mask off! How do you guys do it!?"

"Tobi won't let anyone see his face and there are camera's nearly everywhere," Zetsu begins. "**So... we go to the White Room."**

"What's in the white room?" Hidan asks.

"Nothing!" Tobi says cheerfully.

"Huh?" Hidan asks blankly.

Zetsu laughs. "There's literally _nothing _in the white room. **No furniture, no food, and... no camera's. **That's why Leader-sama says we need to go there so we can talk privately about... you know."

"Ooooooh!" Hidan exclaims. "I get it! Damn, isn't that a shit load of trouble just to make out!? How come you don't take your mask off Tobi?"

Tobi lifts a finger to where a mouth would normally be and smiles.

"Tobi is a secret! Shhhh!"

Hidan just stares at them then after a while he goes over to the Akatsuki table. He notices that a bunch of the well known uke whores are hanging around the end of the table, where one of Sasuke's friends, Jugo, is sitting. Hidan motions to it and asks a rather bored looking Deidara what it's all about.

Deidara laughs a little. "Those sluts just want a piece of his meat, un. Didn't you see him in the showers, he's _huge. _Ha ha, but no matter what those little bitches do, they can't seem to get his attention. I don't even think he's gay, un."

"Oh," Karin interjects. "He's gay alright. His heart's just already been taken by someone."

"Who?" Deidara asks, suddenly getting interested. Karin's eyes twinkle as she knows she's got them hooked on her every word. She begins in a dramatic voice,

"All of us, who came with Sasuke, worked with Orochimaru before this. When Sasuke killed Orochimaru, we had nowhere to go, nothing to do, and Sasuke said we could come with him if we wanted, as long as we didn't slow him down, and didn't mind getting in trouble. That idiot Suigetsu came because he thought there would be tough people to fight wherever sasuke went. I came because um... well... I er... wanted to see all the hot guys in prison and Sasuke and well... anyways! Jugo came because he has a disease."

"What kinda disease?" Deidara asks nervously, glancing back at the passive Jugo.

Karin waves a hand at him. "It's a mental thing. Totally rare. In fact, Jugo might have been the only one in the world who had it. But... Orochimaru had used him as a test subject, and injected his DNA into other people, trying to make them stronger. This disease, affects rage, you see. You see how mild mannered and calm Jugo is now? Well, if you're ever unlucky enough to see him on an off day... run. He becomes a monster. His entire personality changes and he'll kill anything that gets in his way."

Deidara let's out a low whistle then asks, "But what does that have to do with his lover, un?"

Karin nods and continues, "Jugo hates his disease most of all. He is a very kind, gentle person, and he really doesn't like hurting people, or anything for that matter. So, when he becomes like a monster, he hates himself and he just wishes he could make it stop."

"Only a little while after living with Orochimaru and all the rest of us, Jugo met Kimimaro. Kimimaro was probably the only person, besides Kabuto, who was really devoted to Orochimaru. He told all of us that Orochimaru was the only reason he was alive. Before Jugo met him, Jugo was trying to commit suicide all the time, usually failing and causing everyone stress and alarm, but after he met Kimimaro... well, I think he became Jugo's reason for living. They were all but inseparable and Jugo would even smile sometimes when he was with Kimimaro."

"What was so special about this Kimimaro kid?" Hidan asks.

"Kimimaro could control Jugo. See, Jugo had his own disease, and they acted as a bit of a cure for each other. Whenever Jugo lost it, he would just get Kimimaro to snap him out of it. It was kind of sweet, actually. They were very fond of each other for a while..."

"What happened, un?"

Karin lowers his gaze. "One day... Kimomaro had to make a choice. He was about to die anyways, but instead of staying his last moments with Jugo... he went and fought for Orochimaru one last time. He died... and Jugo nearly broke. When he heard the news his disease took over and he killed 6 people before he got too tired and came back to his senses. When he came to he asked to be put in solitary confinement if they would not let him kill himself. He was in solitary for about a month, then Sasuke killed Orochimaru and broke him out. Jugo's disease was just about to take him over and then Sasuke... did something. I don't know what exactly. But it calmed Jugo down, so now Jugo follows Sasuke in the hopes he'll never have to hurt anyone again. It's a sad story... Jugo really loved Kimimaro..."

"Hm..." Hidan mutters to himself. "So I guess Jugo doesn't care about getting laid?"

"No." Karin says. "He really doesn't care about much except living a peaceful life..."

"That's nice, un..." Deidara mutter as he stares at Jugo's back. Then he notices some particularly daring sluts who practically try and blow Jugo where he's sitting and he growls. Deidara stands up, walks over to a surprised Jugo and faces all the uke whores yelling,

"He doesn't want any of you ugly fucks! Get it? Go the fuck away and bother someone else, un!"

All the uke's instantly disappear though a few do shoot glares at Deidara. He just glares back until they leave for good then he places his hands on his hips and 'hmphs'. As he turns around to go back to his seat he hears a low murmur of,

"Thank you..."

He turns around, surprised, then smiles at Jugo who nearly gives him a small smile back. Deidara then walks back to his seat and begins molding the clay he was playing with earlier. After a minute though, he gives up and smacks it down on the table saying,

"Where's Sasori?"

"He's in the kitchen, messing with the stoves." Kisame says lazily.

Deidara stands up and saunters into the kitchen. The next day he is smiling as he tells Hidan,

"Don't eat the mashed potato's, un."

__________________________________________________

**If you can imagine... I had a very hard time deciding between having the baby be a girl, like I had originally planned, or two male twins. The only reason this decision was so hard was because... if they were twins... i could have written them in TWINCEST. But... i really already have a terrific personality planned for Mei, which will be her name. So... Mei it stays. No twins... or twincest... just Mei. But dont fret! It'll still be great!**

**Hope you liked this chapter! Pwease review!**

**KeikoPanda102**


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22: Break Free

"Danna!" Deidara calls as he runs through the common room towards Sasori who is reading on the couches. "Danna, look what I made, un!"

Deidara hops over the back of the couch and into Sasori's lap, who doesn't seems surprised in the slightest. Deidara holds a up a small clay bird in his hand and smiles. Sasori smiles back.

"That looks nice, Deidara."

Deidara's smile grows when he says excitedly, "Look what it can do!"

He places the small bird on the coffee table in front of them and Sasori's nervous look doesn't match Deidara's looks of pure enthusiasm. The bird stays still for a few moments then suddenly there is a loud bang that can be heard throughout all of Kure-Ji-Kira.

Hidan, who was sitting peacefully on the other side of the couch leaps out of it and onto Kakuzu's lap. He wraps his arms around Kakuzu's head until the smoke clears then he screams,

"What the hell was that?! Gave me a fucking heart attack!"

Kakuzu laughs and Hidan turns to glare at him.

"What the fuck are you laughing at?"

"You got scared." Kakuzu replies. Hidan blushes and realizes where he is. He tries to stand up but Kakuzu holds him closer saying,

"Hey... you don't have to move. I kind of like you here."

Hidan growls but stares where he is. Kakuzu wraps his arms around Hidan large waist as they both glance over to where Sasori is scolding a smirking Deidara. Once he is finished with his "no explosives" speech Deidara kisses him and says cheerfully,

"Sorry Danna."

Hidan gets curious. "Hey Deidara, how come you call Sasori 'Danna'?"

"It means Husband, un."

"Oh!" Hidan says, surprised. "You guys are married?"

Deidara looks down and mutters, "No... Danna won't let us. He says I'm too young for him..."

"You are." Sasori says as he goes back to reading his book. Deidara shoots a glare at him.

"Then how come you call him husband?" Hidan asks.

Deidara smiles. "Because even if it's not legal, Danna is my husband, un!"

Sasori smiles a bit at this then looks thoughtful. He pulls Deidara unto his lap and nibbles on the blondes ear. Deidara whimpers and arches his back in Sasori's arms, his eyes closing in pleasure. Hidan and Kakuzu glance at each other.

Sasori blows in Deidara's ear,

"We haven't been to the black room in a while have we?"

Deidara turns around in Sasori's lap and hugs him smiling widely.

"You really mean it, Danna? Yay!"

Sasori smirks. "I'll go ask Yamada if it's open tonight after I finish this chapter."

Deidara nods, smiling. He slips off of Sasori's lap and sits contentedly next to him, waiting patiently. All of the sudden they all hear,

"STOP FUCKING FOLLOWING ME AROUND OR I'M GONNA HAVE TO KILL YOU!"

They all turn to see Suigetsu smirking at a very annoyed Kisame.

"Just fight me." Suigetsu whines.

Kisame holds his head in his hand as he replies,

"You would lose in one second."

"You wish, Old Shark!" Suigetsu snaps back.

Kisame growls, "You're really pushing it, Punk! Try me again, see what happens!"

Suigetsu chuckles. "Fish-face! Scaly mouth! Ugly shark!"

Kisame snarls. "That's it!"

He starts walking towards the door and Suigetsu just stands there dumbfounded until,

"H- hey where're you going?"

Kisame turns around smirking, "I'm going to devour you. Just wait."

Suigetsu's eyes widen then he notices a glint in Kisame's eyes and he shivers. Kisame smirks as he walks out the door.

Kakuzu laughs. "What do you think he meant by that?"

Suddenly Deidara gasps. "Danna! What if Kisame's trying to get the Black room for tonight, un."

Sasori stands up and walks swiftly towards the door. "Way ahead of you."

Yamada is conveniently in the middle of a therapy session when both Kisame and Sasori reach the door. They glance at each other and find what they are doing amusing. After about 10 minutes Zetsu and Tobi walk out looking pleased.

"You were both in there for therapy at the same time?" Kisame asks.

"Zetsu-chan was in a bad mood so Yamada-san thought it'd cheer him up if Tobi was there!" Tobi replies, giggling.

"How did that go?" Sasori asks with a raised eyebrow.

Tobi giggles. "Ask Yamada-san."

Yamada walks out looking flustered. He also has a slight blush on his cheeks. He spots Kisame and Sasori and asks,

"What do you guys want?"

"How'd that last session go?" Kisame asks with a snicker.

Yamada glares at him. "It was... soul scaring. Now what do you want?"

"Can I get the black room tonight?" both Sasori and Kisame say at the same time. Yamada looks surprised then he just says,

"Well... if you both want it... how about you rock, paper, scissors for it?"

Kisame and Sasori glance at each other then ball one fist and place it on their hands.

"Rock," Kisame says,

"Paper," Sasori continues,

"Scissors!" they both finish together.

Yamada looks down that their hands.

"Looks like Sasori wins with rock. No one ever chooses paper."

"Damn..." Kisame mutters as Yamada hands Sasori the Black Room's key. Sasori pats him on the shoulder, "Maybe next time, buddy."

"You want the red room?" Yamada asks a thoughtful Kisame.

Kisame shakes his head. "Naw. Red rooms no fun. Hm... now that I think about it, I'm glad I didn't get the Black Room. I haven't been in there since..." He looks up suddenly and

asks, "Did I say that a loud?"

Yamada just gives him a strange look. Kisame is about to walk away then he says,

"You know, you should really have other rooms besides just the red room."

Yamada nods. "I know. I'm working on it. I'm getting a Green and Blue room done. They are forrest and ocean themed. They should be done in a few months. The rooms really make a lot of money."

"Blue room, huh? I guess that's better than red." he walks off looking like he is pondering something.

As he walks into the common room the fist thing he hears is Hidan's shriek.

"_Bloody fucking ball-sacks_!?!?!"

"What?" Kakuzu asks nervously because Hidan is staring at his stomach

"I- it moved." Hidan replies. "It fucking moved! Like an _alien!_"

Kakuzu rolls his eyes and relaxes.

"It's supposed to do that, you know."

"But it felt _weird_!"

"Oh, can I feel un?"

"Tobi too!"

Hidan makes a face. "You can if you want."

They all gather around Hidan's stomach for about ten minutes until Kakuzu says they are crowding the pregnant woman and Hidan has to bite his head off for another ten minutes for calling him a woman.

Afterwards, Sasori holds the small black key up to Deidara and the blonde instantly drags the smirking redhead to the black room.

Kisame is sitting peacefully by the tv, glad that he at least got the annoying pest to leave him alone for once. Suddenly someone crushes a fist over his head. He jumps up as he yells, "Ow! What the fuck-?"

Suigetsu is smirking at him when he turns around.

"You gonna fight me now, Scaly Face?"

Kisame's head is aching as he walks towards Suigetsu snarling, "Alright let's get this over with!"

He grabs Suigetsu by the scruff of his jumpsuit and drags him, kicking and screaming to the empty showers. He tosses him on the floor then stares down at him smirking. Suigetsu stands up and looks around asking,

"Did you want to come here so no one would see you lose to a kid, Old Shark?"

Kisame's eyes glint dark in the foggy room as he replies, "Trust me, by the end of this, you're going to be glad no one is here to watch."

__________________________________________________

"Naaaaah! Danna no, un! I can't!" Deidara cries as Sasori strokes him again and again jerkily.

Sasori smirks.

"Weren't you the one who was so excited about coming to the Black Room?"

"Uuuuuuun..." Deidara moans.

Sasori pulls a wire and Deidara's arm is lifted up. Sasori strokes his loves soft skin up to his hand. He traces the tattoo there while Deidara stares at him through lust laden eyes, panting loudly.

"It's shame these mouths aren't real. Imagine what you could do with them..."

Deidara whimpers then smiles and says breathily,

"You really like tying me up, huh Danna?"

Sasori smirks and licks one of Deidara's pert nipples. Deidara moans as Sasori replies,

"You look amazing all tied up like that. You're my sexy little puppet..."

He pulls the strings, bending Deidara's body as if showing off the power he has over his sweet lover. Deidara screams,

"DANNA!" then the strings loosen and he falls, panting. Sasori stares down at him then says,

"If you want me to be your husband so bad, maybe I should start calling you Fujoshi?"

He jerks the strings still connected to Deidara, causing the younger to end forward on his hands and knees. There is a dark glint in Sasori's maroon eyes as he commands,

"Go on. Be a good wife and serve you're _Danna*_."

*Danna means husband **and** master.

Deidara licks his lips suggestively as he crawls towards Sasori with animalistic movements. They lock eyes as Deidara reaches out to grasp at the bulging form before him.

Around the same time in the showers...

"Dammit, that hurt! Now you're gonna get it, Ugly Shark!"

Kisame chuckles darkly. "Come and get me, punk."

Kisame watches Suigetsu's shadow move across the foggy room. Suddenly the younger lunges at him. Instead of dodging, Kisame braces himself then slams his fist into the boys chest. Suigetsu crashes into the wall and coughs,

"Heh... you're better than you look."

Kisame hears a metallic sound goes on instant alert. When Suigetsu attacks with a knife Kisame grabs the hand holding it and twists his wrist. Suigetsu cringes as the knife falls to the floor. KIsame picks it up and bends Suigetsu's arm around his back as he says,

"Little kids shouldn't play with such dangerous toys."

Suigetsu growls, "Hey don't touch! Do you have any idea what I had to do to get that?"

Kisame rolls his eyes as he picks up the shimmering piece of metal.

"Let me guess, your daddy give it to you?"

"No!" Suigetsu glares then smirks. "I had to rob a grave!"

" Uh huh..." Kisame mutters as he looks closer at the knife. "Woah! This is Zabuza's Kubikiri!"

He glances down at Suigetsu and laughs. "You've got to have some serious balls to steal from that demon, even if he is dead. What if his ghost comes after you?"

"Tsk!" Suigetsu rolls his eyes. "No one believes in ghosts anymore Old Shark!"

Kisame's eyes narrow and he leans down to whisper in Suigetsu's ear,

"It's too bad ghosts aren't real. What I wouldn't give to have Itachi come back for even one hour..."

Suigetsu tenses and Kisame continues,

"See, that man was my lover. Now he's gone, and I've been very lonely. Now then, whose one of those responsible for his death?"

Suigetsu gulps and feels the blade of his knife at the bottom of his neck.

"I know _you _didn't really have anything to do with it but since _you_ keep following me around... I'm going to have to take _you_."

The tip of the knife grabs onto the clothe and Kisame pulls down, ripping it just a little. Suigetsu closes his eyes and whimpers. Kisame breathes in his ear,

"You're nowhere near as pretty as Itachi but... the face you're making right about now is kinda cute."

Kisame starts ripping the fabric more and peeling it off Suigetsu's shoulders. The boy snaps and pushes away from Kisame and even tries kicking him in the groin. He turns around with his fists raised and a glare on his face.

"Don't even try that gay shit with me! Pervert!"

Kisame smirks.

"You talk as if you have a choice. That's not how prison works , kid."

Suigetsu's eyes widen as Kisame uses intense strength to push him face first against the cold tiled wall.

Suigetsu shivers as Kisame slides the knife down his neck and spine, ripping the fabric even more. The shivering doesn't stop when whimpers are added to it as Kisame rips down the rest of the jumpsuit, exposing his moist flesh.

Suigetsu struggles, trying to slide away from Kisame using slick water. Kisame just smirks as he reaches up and turns on the shower above them saying,

"Go ahead and try to get away, brat."

Suigetsu curses loudly and struggles more as the warm water cascades down his back. Kisame tuts at him,

"Shame, shame Suigetsu. You swear like a sailor."

"Fucking bastard..." Suigetsu growls.

"Stop!" he screeches as Kisame slides a hand down his back and over his soft cheeks...

"Stop begging, Deidara, and suck." Sasori mutters darkly into the cold, shadowy room. Deidara is panting from his intense lust as he stares up at Sasori desperately. Deidara reaches up and tenderly wraps his fingers around Sasori's length. He groans as Sasori just stares down at him, waiting. Deidara nearly gasps when he just slides the tip of his tongue out of his mouth and over the hot skin in front of him.

He shivers as he instantly feels the need to take Sasori deeper. Deidara is shaking so much he can barely concentrate on what he is doing. He frees his mouth from Sasori so he can scream,

"Fuck me now Danna! I can't take it anymore!"

Sasori grabs Deidara's ponytail roughly and tilts his head up. A few tears leak out of the blonds eyes as he pants heavily.

"You need to learn restraint, Deidara." Sasori says.

Deidara whimpers then attacks Sasori fiercely by wrapping his mouth around the redheads thick member. Sasori smirks as Deidara works extra hard to thoroughly arouse his 'master.' He groans when Sasori starts thrusting into his mouth. One particularly hard thrust and he lets out a muffles scream as he cums violently on the floor.

He collapses in a panting heap, his entire body left untouched, but with a significant amount of saliva dribbling out of his abused mouth. Sasori pulls the strings and Deidara is yanked up to a kneeling position as he says,

"Hm... Too quick, Deidara. I didn't even touch you."

Deidara is shivering as he barely moves his head to look pleadingly into his Danna's eyes. Sasori smirks and sighs at the same time.

"I'm not sure how much longer you can hold out, so let's go."

Deidara's eyes widen and he pulls against the strings so he can stick his ass up invitingly. His chest rises and falls against the cool floor as he cries out,

"Put it in... put it in... un..."

Sasori grabs Deidara's hips possessively and places his tip at the entrance. Deidara squirms then gulps when Sasori pushes forward and enters the tip of his member. Deidara cringes as he realizes he is unprepared. Sasori ignores the whimper and goes deeper, filling his crying lover.

He is almost all the way inside and Deidara suddenly shudders, releasing once again. He arches his back and screams, wanting Sasori to go deeper. Sasori stops him and says flatly,

"I'm barely inside you and you already came? Should I stop?"

"NO!" Deidara screams in response as he claws at the ground. "Keep going! I wanna cum again, un!"

Sasori nods and thrusts his hips swiftly. Deidara's eyes slam shut from the pleasure and he screams. Sasori thrusts a few times then pulls the string making Deidara fly up. His arms are tied and raised over his head and his legs are spread so Sasori can thrust deeper. Sasori works the strings and moves Deidara up and down, over and over. Deidara seems to cum with every thrust, even if there is nothing left to come out.

After a while Sasori gets tired and lowers Deidara into his lap so he can kiss him softly while still thrusting. Sasori hods Deidara close so he can whisper in his ear,

"I'm going to come soon, Deidara."

The erratic blonds only reply is to scream horsely, "DANNA!"

Sasori groans as his loves warmth surrounds him and he finally releases after the long night of hot, seemingly endless love. Deidara cums on their chests at the feeling of being filled with his lovers seed before collapsing in exhaustion. Sasori pulls out and mutters through heavy breathing,

"I'm sorry... I tired you out too much again..."

Deidara groans. "No... I love you, Danna. You fuck really good, un..."

He then promptly falls asleep so Sasori can lay next to him watching his peaceful and contented face breath evenly through what's left of the night.

__________________________________________________

"Stop, bastard!" Suigetsu hisses as Kisame trails his rough fingers down his smooth back. Kisame smirks. He does not stop.

"S- stop dammit!" Suigetsu's voice wavers for a moment but his struggling doesn't cease.

"Make me." Kisame replies. He does not stop.

"Stop it. Now!" Suigetsu commands weakly. Even he doesn't believe in his own strength anymore. Kisame lifts his arms above his head and holds both wrists firmly in his own. He does not stop.

"If you don't fucking stop right fucking now I swear to god I- I will fucking kill you you slimy, perverted piece of shit!"

Kisame's only reply is to kick Suigetsu's ankles apart while muttering hazily, "Spread your legs."

Suigetsu nearly falls as his legs are forced open and Kisame does not stop. The older man moves a hand down Suigetsu's back. When he reaches his destination the boy flinches.

Kisame stops. He feels regret for a moment and kisses Suigetsu between his tensed shoulder blades. He whispers over the sound of rushing water,

"Relax."

Suigetsu has tears in his eyes as he feels a finger creep its way inside him. He now has nothing left but to beg,

"Stop... please stop..."

Kisame does not stop. Though he almost wants to. This young boy was so familiar for some reason. Did he remind him of Itachi? No... that's not it. Perhaps a young Deidara? No... definitely not. He halts for a moment, but does not stop as he realizes, this is boy is just like him when he was young. Somehow, this makes his chuckle a little. Suigetsu takes it the wrong way. He thinks Kisame is being purposely cruel, laughing at his fear and shame. He struggles more as the second and third fingers are added. They move inside and suddenly Suigetsu screams,

"STOP!"

But to Kisame, the scream doesn't sound as if he wants it to stop. Kisame leans over Suigetsu's shoulder and asks softly,

"Do you really want me to stop?"

Suigetsu tries desperately to nod. He tries to scream out what he knows he should. He tries to make Kisame stop. His erection aches against the cold tiles of the wall and Kisame keeps moving his fingers and touching that place inside him. His body and his mind cannot seem to reach an agreement. His body wins when Kisame simply reaches around his waist and stokes his member. Suigetsu doesn't even realize that to do this Kisame had to release his hands as he screams,

"Don't stop!"

Kisame doesn't smirk. He definitely doesn't stop. He just calmly smiles and whispers in his rough, deep voice,

"Don't worry... I won't."

He removes the fingers and while continuing to stroke Suigetsu he spreads the boys cheeks. The smaller shark boy makes a meek sound and balls his fists that lay against the cool wall. Kisame thrusts, hard. He thrusts, like a vailant knight would thrust his mighty steel sword into the safety of it's sheeth.

He thrusts swiftly. He wants to get the first part over with. He wants to get the painful part over with. It is harsh, even with the excessive amounts of water as lubricant. Suigetsu's sensitive skin tears just a little, and a small trickles of blood flows down the drain with the water.

Kisame doesn't stop stroking him as he pushes in farther. Suigetsu is arching his back away from Kisame. He is afraid. He is embarrassed. But most of all... he likes it. The feeling of rugged flesh on flesh and the feeling of being filled coarse through his body and send shivers down his spine. Though, that might just be because the water had long since ran out of warmth.

Kisame teases his tip as he goes deeper. He slides his other hand up Suigetsu's hip, the up his arm, then around his chest, encasing him in heat and the odd, scratchy feel of Kisame's skin. Kisame thrusts until Suigetsu begins thrusting back and spreading his legs wider. After a while he ends up nearly bent over with one hand braced on the wall. Kisame kisses the back of his head as he starts thrusting deeper and harder as if sensing the end for both of them.

Suigetsu continuously screams,

"Don't stop! Don't stop! Don't stop!"

Kisame answers with a thrust and a grunted reply of,

"I won't."

Kisame doesn't stop. Not until the very end. Suigetsu quivers as his entire body feels the sweet release after the tiring ordeal. Kisame can feel the tight walls becoming tighter inside Suigetsu so thrusts once more and they splash onto the water-soaked floor as they ride out their discharge.

Suigetsu can still hold himself up, Kisame is surprised to find. He is then corrected when he pulls out and takes his hands away from the boys hip and chest, and Suigetsu falls on the tiles panting madly.

Kisame sits up and pulls a hand through his hair as he stairs at the exhausted youth. He sighs as he watches Suigetsu's breathing become more even, his body more relaxed. He smirks and easily grabs Suigetsu off the floor. He carried the knocked out boy to his cell. Zetsu just raises an eyebrow at him as he places Suigetsu on his bed.

Kisame lays down next to a soundly sleeping Suigetsu and pulls the covers over them both, making sure to give the boy enough warmth. As he brushes over the pale skin near his shoulder Suigetsu mumbles something in his sleep. To Kisame it sounds a bit like,

"...stupid old shark..."

He growls and laughs at the same time.

"Same to you, little shark..."

He leans down and kisses Suigetsu's lips lightly. He feels sharp teeth then Suigetsu seems to smile. He snuggles closer to Kisame in the bed and the elder sighs again.

Kisame looks toward the sky and mutters to himself,

"See, Itachi? I'm moving on. Hope you're happy."

Suigetsu shuffles next to him and he smiles.

"I think I am..."

__________________________________________________

**Heh heh heh heh heh... Nice right? TWO lemons. ONE chapter. How great am I?**

**KeikoPanda102**


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23: Nagareboshi

Hidan sighs.

"I am TIRED of this."

No one at the table but Kakuzu turns to him. The others had stopped giving him the satisfaction of their attention about the third time Hidan had said this sentence. Only Kakuzu paid attention. He rolls his eyes at Hidan and asks,

"What's so bad about it?"

"It's weird. As fuck."

Kakuzu sighs.

"It should only be a few more weeks. A month at most."

"It's already been like, a YEAR." Hidan replies.

"8 months, Hidan. The normal time a pregnancy lasts is 9 months. You are on time. Stop complaining."

Hidan sticks his tongue out at Kakuzu and Kakuzu just rolls his eyes at him. Hidan sulks then says loudly,

"You know, I REALLY shouldn't be having this baby. It goes against EVERYTHING Jashin is all about. We are supposed to take life, not make it. It's in the rules."

"Shut up Hidan." Kakuzu says back.

Hidan stares at his husband with wide eyes and a comically open mouth. When Kakuzu says nothing more, Hidan stomps away angrily.

Suddenly Pein looks up from the book he is reading and clears his throat. Everyone looks up from whatever they are doing. Pein motions for Kisame, Sasuke, and even Hidan to come over to the table. Hidan sits down next to Kakuzu reluctantly and Kakuzu places a hand on his leg as Leader-Sama starts speaking,

"I've gotten together enough money for all of us to get 2 hours in the white room. We're going in tomorrow at 6. I want everyone to focus so we can use our time wisely."

Only Hidan looks confused. He turns to Kakuzu and asks,

"Why're we going to the White room?"

"Shhh." Kakuzu replies, placing a finger on Hidan's lips. "Yamada already doesn't trust us. We'll talk about it in the white room."

Hidan nods then starts taking small bites of his grilled cheese, trying to ignore the sharp pain in his lower back he's had all day and the increasingly uncomfortable stomachache.

The next night all the Akatsuki members file down the hall and into a room only a select few of them have been in before. Everyone who had been in it before seems to exhale as if they can breathe freely Hidan glances around and raises an eyebrow. As the door slams shut he mutters,

"When they said White room... they really meant it."

Kakuzu smirks as Hidan looks around. The walls are white. Each piece of furniture is white. The room is mostly empty besides a few couches and a small bed in the corner. There is also a white sink with a white faucet and next to it, a white toilet with white towels hanging near it. It doesn't look as if it is used very often. Hidan takes a seat on Kakuzu's lap and groans, holding his stomach. Kakuzu frowns and asks worriedly,

"What's wrong?"

Hidan huffs angrily. "Nothing. Just a stomachache. No big deal."

Kakuzu nods but his eyes don't leave Hidan as Pein begins to talk,

"Just in case not everyone is aware of why we are here today: the reason is so we can freely discuss our escape, without worry of being overheard. There are no camera's in this room."

Sasuke interjects, "Are you sure? How do you know?"

Leader-sama's expression doesn't change as he replies, "Look around. I think we would see them if there were camera's here."

Hidan glances around the room and quietly agrees. There is no where to hide camera's, or anything really, in this room. It is white as far as the eye can see. Sasuke nods and Leader-sama continues,

"We need to make a plan for escape. There's 12 of us so..."

Leader-sama's voice seems to trail off as Hidan's stomach explodes in pain. He hunches over in Kakuzu's lap and holds his stomach. He feels like he can't breathe for about 2 minutes. Only Kakuzu seems to notice. Once the pain is gone he is panting but remains quiet through everyone else talking. Kakuzu leans forward and whispers in his ear,

"Are you sure you're ok?"

Hidan has sweat pouring down his face as he nods. Konan glances at him and Hidan smiles lightly. He tries to listen to Pein but keeps fading in and out. In a few minutes the sharp pain in his stomach comes back. This time he can't handle it as much and he whimpers loudly. Half the room turns to him now and Kakuzu growls,

"Hidan. How bad is it? Tell me how bad the pain is on a scale of one to ten."

"Five." Hidan gasps.

Kakuzu's eyes widen. Kisame looks nervous as he says,

"Five? That's not so bad, right?"

Kakuzu picks Hidan up and lays him down on the floor as he replies,

"On Hidan's pain scale, that's like a twenty."

Hidan moans as the pain intensifies. Kakuzu tries to lay him flat on his back and Hidan almost screams. He claws at Kakuzu's jumpsuit as he yells,

"Seven!"

"God dammit!" Kakuzu curses. "This is bad!"

"What happens if the pain gets to 10?" Sasori asks. Everyone is now surrounding Hidan and Kakuzu on the floor.

"Hidan might die."

Hidan groans and tries to sit up a little, the pain had gone down enough so he could speak clearly, "As if..."

Kakuzu pushes down on his shoulders so he can't sit up. Hidan glares at him through heavy panting. Kakuzu ignores the glare and asks firmly,

"Where is the pain?"

"This retarded stomach of course." Hidan answers, slapping his bulge, "And the thing is moving like an epileptic fish in there."

"Shit..." Kakuzu says, holding his head in his hand. He then grabs Hidan by the shoulders and says in a thick voice,

"Hidan... You are having the baby."

Just as he says this Hidan convulses in his arms again, screaming this time.

"FUCKING ASSCOCKS!!!"

He nearly breaks the bone in Kakuzu's hand that he is holding. Kakuzu turns to Deidara who is looking terrified and asks,

"How long was it between Hidan's last contraction and this one?"

Deidara looks lost and Karin speaks up from the back of the room, "Not even a minute."

Kakuzu motions to her.

"Do you have any medical history?"

She steps forward and pushes her glasses back onto her nose as she says, "A little but I don't know if it'll be helpful."

Kisame's eyes widen and he almost yells, "Wait, Kakuzu! Are you thinking about taking the baby out in here!?"

"What other choice do we have?" he growls angrily as Hidan screams again.

"MOTHER-FUCKING DICK-SUCKERS!"

Kisame sighs and steps forward. "Alright... If you're gonna do this you're gonna need my help."

Sasori also steps forward saying flatly, "I might be useful. I know my way around the human body pretty well."

Kakuzu nods as Hidan screams again.

"BASTARD COCK LOVING ASSHOLE!!! GET THIS THING OUT OF ME!"

Kakuzu hands Hidan's hand to Konan who grips it nervously. He then looks around asking,

"Does anyone have a knife or something sharp?"

"A KNIFE!? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GONNA DO TO BE KAKUZU YOU BASTARD!? JASHIN DAMMIT THIS SHIT HURTS LIKE A MOTHER FUCKER!!!"

Suigetsu reaches in his pocket and pulls out his knife, handing it to Kakuzu swiftly. Kakuzu then instructs Tobi, Deidara, and Zetsu to go around the room and find any clothe they can and bring it to him. He, Kisame, and Sasori lean around Hidan as he screams and rolls around in pain.

"Hidan! Fucking stop moving!" Kakuzu yells at him.

Hidan's eyes widen in a furious glare as he opens his mouth to yell back,

"YOU SHIT-FACE THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU AND YOUR DAMN BABY! I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU SO BAD WHEN THIS IS OVER YOU ASSHOLE, JUST WAIT! THIS IS LIKE HELL!!!!"

"You can kill me all you want once I'm done with this but just stop moving for now!" Kakuzu replies. He then tells Pain, Sasuke, and Suigetsu to work at holding Hidan to the floor. They do as their told and Hidan ends up laying flat on his back on top of a bunch of towels and sheets.

"The room will open in about an hour and half. Maybe we should just wait?" Leader-sama says helpfully.

"Yeah, 'cuz we all want to sit here for and hour and half listening to Hidan scream." Kisame rolls his eyes. "Come on. Let's do this."

Kakuzu grips Suigetsu's knife tightly as Sasori draws a line with a sharpie marker vertically along Hidan's lower abdomen. Kakuzu places the tip of the knife on the line and Hidan screams before Zetsu hits him over the head and he blacks out.

Everyone in the room stares at Zetsu blankly. He shrugs.

"He was too damn loud."

Kakuzu sighs.

"Ok then... Um, we should just do this then. I REALLY hope that didn't do anything to the baby. If it did, you owe me a baby, Zetsu."

Zetsu shrugs again. "**Whatever.**"

Kakuzu just shakes his head as he cuts into Hidan's fragile skin. Almost as soon as he does he can feel movement beneath the skin. Despite himself, he smiles. His baby is alive.

He continues the procedure until a slimy red hand pops out into the cool air. Nearly everyone gasps and Tobi practically faints. Kakuzu and Kisame laugh as Kakuzu finishes the procedure, pulling the wiggling baby out of Hidan's open stomach.

He cuts the umbilical cord and Deidara leans over and slaps the baby's bottom. When she starts screaming, somehow louder than even Hidan was before, Kakuzu smiles at Deidara. Deidara smiles back saying cheerfully over the screams,

"Well I had to be useful for something, un."

Kisame and Sasori start sewing Hidan up but Kakuzu stops them saying firmly, "I'll do it. I'm an old pro, remember." He motions to his many scars.

He hands the wiggling baby to Konan and Karin and instructs them,

"Wash her off."

They nod, Konan bringing her over the sink as Kakuzu bites off some string and begins sewing Hidan's stomach. The others watch with baited breath as Kakuzu ties the knot at the end and the bleedings stops. Only a few moments later does the door open with a loud _creeeeak_. Everyone glances at Kakuzu and Pein reluctantly asks,

"Should one of us go get Yamada?"

Kakuzu sighs, looking down at Hidan.

"I'll take _him _to Yamada. I have a bad feeling about what he'll do to my daughter once he gets his hands on her. I am a little worried about Hidan, though. This wasn't a very sanitary procedure. I can't believe we had to do it in here."

He turns to Pein and says sympathetically, "Sorry about the meeting. Maybe we can try again another time."

Leader-sama nods then whispers to Konan,

"So what are my chances of getting him to pay me back for this?"

She just stares at him like he's crazy and replies quietly, "Less than zero, Nagato, less than zero."

He smiles lightly and kisses her. He then leans in and whispers in her ear,

"When we get out and I can get back to the real me... we'll have a kid, right?"

She smiles. "Yes. Please tell me you're serious, I really do want kids."

"Kid_s_? Plural?" Pein asks nervously.

She smiles menacingly. "I want 7. I already have names picked out."

He shudders slightly at the thought of so many of his children running around but the smile on her face makes him forget about it. He kisses her again as he says,

"You can have as many as you want. I love you, Konan."

Kisame smirks. "Now that's something you don't see every day."

Suigetsu raises an eyebrow and Kisame laughs.

"Leader-sama being loving."

Suigetsu rolls his eyes as he mutters, "Yeah I guess love is in the air or whatever..."

He glances as Kakuzu hands his daughter to Karin and Sasuke for safe-keeping then he picks Hidan up gently and walks out of the room. Kisame smiles and places a hand on Suigetsu's shoulder.

"Love, huh? What do you say?"

Suigetsu blushes a bit as he stutters, "W-what are you talking about you pervy old fish!?"

Kisame laughs and leans in to try and kiss Suigetsu who just punches him and walks out of the room looking annoyed. Kisame rubs his jaw and mutters, "feisty..." as he follows after his new toy.

Karin is still working at cleaning off the baby as she asks Zetsu,

"Um... where are we supposed to hide this thing until Kakuzu gets back?"

Zetsu sighs and sits down on the couch as he replies, "You should probably just stay here. **We're sure he'll be back soon.**"

"This thing?" Sasuke asks, raising an eyebrow.

Karin laughs. "What do you want me to call it?"

"It's a her, see?" Sasuke says flatly. "She's kinda cute too."

"How can you tell, she was just born? And she's way too noisy to be cute." Karin says back.

"I think she just wants her daddies, un." Deidara says cheerfully.

"She will see them in good time." a voice says from the door. They all turn around to see Yamada smiling widely, his eyes resting greedily on the child in Sasuke's arms. He walks a step forward and Sasuke moves back, his own eyes wary. Yamada flinches then smiles and says,

"Give her here, Sasuke. Now."

Sasuke shakes his head. Karin looks from Sasuke to Yamada then says,

"Um, Kakuzu told us to keep her safe. I think he would get mad at us if we passed her on to someone else."

Deidara and Sasori move closer in, surrounding Sasuke as Yamada replies,

"I don't think Kakuzu would mind me just taking her to the infirmary to make sure the birth wasn't too traumatic for her. Don't you think she would be safe with me?"

Karin looks nervous as Yamada directs his attention to Sasuke again and says,

"Sasuke, you know your friend Mr. Uzumaki is here to see you again..."

Sasuke eyes narrow dangerously but he holds the quietly screaming baby closer. Yamada continues,

"It would be a shame if something happened to him..."

"That's dirty!' Karin shrieks. Yamada ignores her and continues,

"Now, if I could please have that child, Sasuke. I'm sure you could go have a nice chat with Naruto."

"Tat won't be necessary." Kakuzu says from behind Yamada. Yamada turns around and Kakuzu glares. "We can _all _go to the infirmary, to check on Mei _and_ Hidan."

Yamada purses his lips. "Fine, but don't forget our arrangement, Kakuzu. That baby needs to be monitored very carefully."

"Yeah, yeah..." Kakuzu mutters as he goes over to Sasuke and the Uchiha hands him his child. Mei doesn't stop crying, but she quiets down a lot. Kakuzu then walks out the door of the white room and Yamada follows him. Sasuke suddenly asks,

"Can I really see Naruto?"

Yamada smirks. "You could if he were actually here. He hasn't come back since you sent him away that one time. He said something about staying at a friends house. What was his friend's name again? Sai, I think it was..."

Sasuke's eyes widen and he curses quietly as Yamada turns away with a content smirk still on his face.

__________________________________________________

**Sorry it took me so long to write this!!!!**

**Please review! It helps me write faster!!!**

**KeikoPanda102**


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24: Gives You Hell

Hidan opens his eyes lazily. He blinks. He hears loud, very loud, arguing somewhere to his right. He feels the dull thrumming of a headache in the back of his skull. He growls. The arguing seems to grow loudly. He growls louder, trying to get some peace and quiet. When there is no quiet he sits up hastily and screams at the top of his lungs,

"SHUT THE FUCK UP OR I SWEAR ON JASHIN'S GIANT COCK I WILL KILL YOU ALL!"

He then feels extremely lightheaded and promptly passes out.

Kakuzu rushes over to him and curses,

"Damn. He lost too much blood during the procedure, he needs a blood transfusion."

Yamada crosses his arms and turns away.

"This is all your fault. If you could have just waited a few hours we could have done this the right way."

Kakuzu, who has never had very good control over his anger, losses it. He wraps a fist around Yamada's neck and pushes him up against a wall, squeezing the thin flesh between his fingers. Yamada begins going red and a few of the other doctors in the room become flustered as if they don't know what to do.

"I should _really_ kill you right now. It would save everyone a shit-load of trouble."

Yamada's already bulging eyes widen and he tries to squeak out a few syllables before Kakuzu inhales deeply and crushes Yamada's neck with one hand.

Seiji Yamada's lifeless body falls the floor and hits it with a sickening thud. The other doctors in and one nurse in the room scream. They stand still as Kakuzu sighs and turns around muttering,

"If you don't want to be next, leave."

They all run out of the room just as Hidan seems to wake up again. He promptly leans over the side of the table he is laying on and hurls.

"Shit..." He mutters as he wipes his mouth. "What the hell hap-?"

He stops when he sees Kakuzu standing over an obviously dead Yamada. Hidan smiles widely.

"You didn't?"

Kakuzu runs a hand through black hair and sighs as he says,

"Yeah, I did... damn. This might be bad."

Hidan stands up shakily and grabs Kakuzu's arm while smiling and yelling,

"What are you talking about!? This is perfect! Screw planning some detailed escape! That bastard was the only one keeping us here! I bet we can just fucking walk out now!"

For some reason Kakuzu feels the need to suddenly lean down and kiss Hidan softly on the lips. Hidan turns his head shyly.

"You freak! Why would you kiss someone who just threw up!?"

Kakuzu smirks and picks Hidan up, placing him back on the table. He then walks over to an incubator and pulls out a tightly wrapped, pink blanket. Hidan looks into it, confused.

He sees a chubby, red face snuggled inside the blanket. He then looks down at his stomach and gasps.

"You- you-"

Kakuzu smiles then suddenly Hidan hits him over the head with his fist and screams,

"YOU SERIOUSLY CUT ME OPEN WITH KNIFE!? WHAT THE FUCK!?"

Kakuzu laughs then Hidan's screaming make the small child open her eyes. They are a strange purple color. They also look strangely intelligent. Until she starts crying. Then she just looks evil.

Kakuzu panics. He tries handing her to Hidan and the Jashinist nearly drops her. She hiccups then falls back to sleep as Hidan holds her awkwardly.

"What do we feed her?" Hidan asks with wide eyes.

Kakuzu glances to the dead body on the ground and sighs again.

"Yamada had a plan but he hadn't felt the need to share it with me. Maybe it's in his notes..."

He starts searching around the medical room for a notepad when suddenly half of Akatsuki storm the room beginning with Leader-sama yelling,

"Is it true? Did you kill Yamada?"

His eyes fall on Yamada's body and everyone goes into a shocked silence. It is only broken by Mei's screams as she wakes up again.

Kakuzu holds up a notepad and starts flipping through it until he comes to a certain page then he says,

"Ah-ha. Found it... What the hell?"

"Don't you dare tell me he was planning on giving me boobs 'cuz if that's it, the little monster can starve!"

Kakuzu shakes his head as the others check Yamada's pulse and start talking amongst themselves about what to do. Kakuzu glances in the direction of Konan and Karin as Leader-sama turns to him and asks,

"Kakuzu, what do you want to do?"

Kakuzu isn't really paying attention as he replies, "Whatever is fine. Hidan and I will follow along with anything Akatsuki decides."

Pein glances at Hidan and he nods. Leader-sama sighs and says,

"I think the best plan as of right now would be to escape before the others find out about this. There would be chaos. We should get going. Now."

Everyone in the room nods. Kakuzu goes over to Hidan and picks him and the baby up. Hidan struggles for a moment but Kakuzu ignores him as the group of 13(not including Mei) makes their way swiftly towards the only entrance and exit inside Kure-Ji-Kira. They can see the door and there is no one blocking it then suddenly,

Yamada seems to come from out of nowhere and stands in front of the them, behind him a large amount of huge officers completely halt their escape.

__________________________________________________

"Y- Y- Yamada?" Kisame mutters. "But... you were dead. We checked your pulse, YOU WERE DEAD!"

This Yamada scowls. No smirks adorns his face where there would usually be one. This Yamada looks angry, and strong. This Yamada has a more authoritative voice as he commands,

"Everyone in this little so called, Akatsuki group, will turn around immediately and walk back into the common room. I, Sono Yamada, will introduce myself to all of my new prisoners there."

The guards rush forwards and move everyone into the common room as this Yamada's words sink in. Hidan, who is still in Kakuzu's arms, whispers,

"Yamada... has a twin? Who the fuck knew that!?"

"Not me..." Kakuzu replies as he sets Hidan in a seat next to him and the rest of Akatsuki. Mei makes a sound but quickly falls back asleep. Hidan thanks Jashin because he knows that on top of everything he cannot handle a screaming, newborn baby.

There is a lot of talking in the room as the new Yamada walks up onto the stage on one side of the common room. He clears his throat and everyone goes quiet simply out of pure curiousness. This Yamada's eyes are angry and reproachful as he surveys the criminals. He begins,

"As some of you know, and some of you do not, Seiji Yamada is dead."

There are a lot of loud whispers but they are hushed so the new Yamada can begin speaking again,

"I am Sono Yamada. Seiji was my twin brother. He was murdered not half an hour ago by someone in this very room. That is not very important as if now. Right now, I'm telling you all that I will be the new prison warden for Kure-Ji-Kira. Listen carefully, _prison _warden. Because this is a prison, no matter what you all would like to think it is. My brother..."

Sono Yamada's gaze falls for a moment then he looks up ad continues,

"My brother treated you all like toys, like guests, and like people. Well you are _not_ people in my book. You are criminals, and should be treated as such. From today onward, the rules inside Kure-Ji-Kira, will be changing. That is all I have to say for now."

He walks off the stage and out the door without another word. Leader-sama stares at Kakuzu then asks flatly,

"Why did you have to kill Yamada?"

Kakuzu just drops his head and into his hands and growls,

"I don't know. Look, what are we going to do?"

Konan glances nervously at Pein and she interjects,

"I- I think that it's been a long day and we should all just get some rest. Let's see how everything works out tomorrow. Maybe this new guy won't be as bad as he seems."

Everyone nods and the pure exhaustion becomes apparent on Hidan's face. Kakuzu thinks his husband might pass out any minute. he takes both his lover and child into their room and they all instantly falls asleep holding each other softly.

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**This is kinda a short chapter but it's ok cuz a lot of crazy shit has happened in it. I will try to update soon. Like I said, reviews really help.**

**XD**

**KeikoPanda102**


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25: It Sucks To Be Me

Kakuzu slowly opens his eyes and finds that for once, Hidan is awake before him. He leans over and kisses Hidan's forehead before looking down at what Hidan is staring down at. Mei is breathing easily as Hidan twirls a piece of her frost white hair in between two of his fingers.

"She don't look like I thought she would." He says in an accusatory tone.

Kakuzu looks from him to her and replies, "Me neither. I thought she would look more like you."

"It's weird. Her skins kinda dark, but her hair is even whiter than mine. Her eyes too. They aren't pink, but they aren't green neither."

Kakuzu nods. Hidan sighs, "What are we gonna do?"

"About what?" Kakuzu asks, sliding an arm around Hidan's waist.

Hidan glares, "About this! About feeding her! About raising her! About that new fucking Yamada! About YOU killing the old one! What if they take you away-"

Kakuzu cuts him off with a kiss.

"You don't have to worry about it. I'll handle it."

"But-"

"I'm going to go work on the food thing now. Just stay here and keep both of your heads low."

Hidan pouts but Kakuzu kisses him again, making Hidan moan into his husbands mouth. When they break apart Hidan asks,

"When do you think my stomach will be healed?"

"A few weeks, why?"

Hidan sits up, wraps his arms around Kakuzu's shoulders and starts kissing up his neck as he replies,

"I don't wanna wait that long..."

Kakuzu reluctantly pushes him away, marveling at the fact that when he had first met Hidan, the man had hated sex. As he walks out the door he nods and says firmly,

"Keep her safe."

"Yeah, yeah..." Hidan replies. Then he does pull her closer to him as he falls back to sleep.

As soon as Kakuzu walks out of their room he is accosted by about four Akatsuki members. Deidara is glaring at him while Sasori just looks annoyed. Karin and Sasuke just seem to be watching as Deidara yells,

"Why'd you have to kill him, un!?"

"What does it matter?" Kakuzu asks.

"He's closing all the rooms, the new Yamada. No more red room, no more black room, and no more white room. Do you have any idea what this means?"

Kakuzu glares. "I could care less about any of this pointless bullshit. There are only three things I care about in this entire world. Two of them are in that room, and one of them is going to save all your sorry asses. I'd be nice to me if I were you. Before all of this happened I'd been using Hidan in bets, I've saved up a shit load of money. Yeah, I really, REALLY don't want to use it on this, but apparently I have to."

He stalks away then turns back to Karin,

"By the way I need to talk to you and Konan later, after I figure all this shit out."

Kisame hears Kakuzu's speech and catches up with him as he walks down the hallway.

"Money? You think you can solve all of this with money? What, you gonna pay our bail?" Kisame asks.

Kakuzu growls, "Don't worry about it. I'm gonna make it so it's at least no worse than it was before, that I can promise."

Kisame makes an unconvinced face but Kakuzu pats him on the shoulder and and scowls,

"Trust me. I've got this."

"How much?" Kisame asks. "How much money do you think it's gonna take?"

Kakuzu sighs and his face seems to go pale. "I don't know. A lot. Damn... I don't even want to think about it. It's gonna make me throw up."

Kisame laughs. "I told you from the very start that Hidan was nothing but a hooker and you would lose money in the end."

"You never told me that." Kakuzu says with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, well I thought it."

Kakuzu sighs. "If he is a hooker, he's the best damn one I ever got."

"At least he wants to have sex with you. I bet Suigetsu wouldn't even have sex with me if I paid him! I can't believe that kid. He acts like he hated it even though our first time was great!"

"Hey, I know this is a long shot, but maybe he isn't gay?"

Kisame smiles. "Naw, it's not that. He's just upset cuz he was on the bottom."

Kakuzu glances at his watch. "Well, good luck with that... whatever that is. I've got to go sell my soul or, even worse, my money. If I don't come back in an hour, look after Hidan and Mei for me."

Kisame looks surprised. _Hm... he seems serious about all this. Weird coming from him... _Kisame then looks around bored. _Wonder where Suigetsu wandered off to?_

Kakuzu walks down the hall and into an open door. When he walks out about 30 minutes later along with Leader-sama he doesn't very happy. Leader-sama though, looks positively cheerful.

"Glad you're so happy." Kakuzu mutters grouchily.

"Well this isn't ideal," Pein replies. "But it seems this Yamada is actually much more clear headed than the first."

"Yeah... He doesn't smile as much. I'd always found that kind of annoying in the first Yamada."

Suddenly there is loud crying that echoes through the halls. Kakuzu glances around the prison and asks,

"Who's baby is crying?"

Leader-sama stares at him then says, "As far as I know there is only one couple in here with a newborn child."

Kakuzu takes a moment to think about Peins words then he looks enlightened and runs towards the sound of crying. When he finds Hidan he is with Konan and Karin trying to make Mei stop screaming.

Actually, as Kakuzu gets closer, he notices that Konan is holding Hidan back while Karin tries to stop the screams.

"What's going on?" He asks as he arrives next to them.

Karin lets out an exasperated breath. She hands Mei to him and Konan still works to hold Hidan back.

"Shut her the fuck up! Seriously, I'm gonna strangle her if she doesn't stop screaming!" Hidan yells. Kakuzu turns and glares at him.

"Shut up, Hidan."

Hidan pouts and walks towards Kakuzu.

"She wouldn't be quiet Kuzu..."

"She's a baby. She's not supposed to be quiet. You're going to have to get used to it Hidan. Besides, she's probably just hungry."

"Did you find anything we can feed her?" Hidan asks.

"Well," Kakuzu replies, turning to Konan and Karin. "I've got a plan but I need some help."

Karin and Konan glance at each other nervously as Kakuzu starts explaining. When he is finished he asks,

"Any questions? Volunteers?"

Konan looks thoughtful. "So, it won't even really be our milk? You're going to take some vitamins that Hidan already naturally has in his body and put it in our boobs so they grow the milk he can't?"

"I'm in!" Karin says cheerfully. "Free boobs! Who would say no to that deal?"

Karin laughs. "Yeah, I would like to help too. When should we do it?"

"As soon as possible. I'm sure a newborn baby needs to have some sort of nutrition. I just have to take some of Hidan's blood real quick."

Both girls watch as Kakuzu walks over to Hidan, pulls open his jumpsuit, sticks a needle in his chest, then walks back silently. Hidan yells at him the entire time and Mei just stares at them sleepily.

Kakuzu walks back to the girls and gives half of the vile of blood to Konan and half to Karin.

"Wait about an hour. It should kick in then. Thanks for doing this. I really didn't want to have to force you."

Karin laughs nervously. "Eh... no problem..."

Suddenly Kisame stalks to them looking annoyed.

"Have any of you seen Suigetsu!? I can't find him anywhere and I really didn't think there were that many hiding places in this damn prison!"

All three of them shrug then Hidan walks over holding Mei and says,

"I thought I saw him with Sasuke earlier."

"Where?" Kisame asks.

Hidan looks thoughtful for a moment then says, "I don't remember."

Kisame slaps his hand to his head and Hidan just smiles cheerfully. Kisame walks away looking discouraged. Kakuzu collapses in a chair and Hidan sits lightly on his lap.

"I heard Deidara this morning saying that the new Yamada was gonna close the rooms. That fucking sucks! We only went in the black room once!" Hidan whines.

"He's not closing them." Kakuzu replies. "Deidara's an idiot. This new Yamada really isn't so bad. He even mentioned in passing he might add an outside part to Kure-Ji-Kira. He said he just had to act tough when he first arrived so people would take him seriously.

"We should go to the black room then!" Hidan says loudly.

"No." Kakuzu replies flatly.

"Kakuzu! Why're you so damn mean? Why can't we go!?"

"I don't feel like spending the money."

"But I helped you make all that gambling money the other day! Just use that."

A sick feeling begins sinking into Kakuzu stomach as he says, "I actually had to use all of that this morning..."

"ALL OF IT!? What the fuck did you do!?" Hidan yells.

"I did what I had to do. It hurts... but it had to be done. I'm not spending any money in the next few days though. Like, non at all. And you're helping me earn more as soon as we can get Karin and Konan to take care of Mei."

"Hm? Why can't we take care of her?" Hidan asks, leaning back against Kakuzu and holding up the blanket with their baby in it.

Kakuzu looks at him curiously. "You want to take care of her?"

"Well... I guess... she is ours. We would be bad parent's if we let her go off with some other people... Besides, she's cute... and they might try and steal her away."

Kakuzu laughs. He reaches up and turns Hidan's head so he can kiss the corners of his lips. Hidan smiles as Kakuzu mutters,

"I swear... sometimes you are so cute I bet no one would ever tell you are an evil phycholomaniac."

__________________________________________________

**Something has recently been brought to my attention that I find VERY disturbing. There is not ONE fanfiction involving romantic relations between Kisame and Suigetsu. I feel that this is an OUTRAGE! They are a terrific pairing and if no one else sees that, they are dumb!**

**Ehem, anywho... I plan to fix this terrible travesty very soon. **

**Please review! **

**KeikoPanda102 !!!**


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26: Nine In The Afternoon

"Suigetsu! There you are! Damn, do you have any idea how long I'v been looking for you?"

Kisame busts into the hallway that leads towards the visitors entrance. The light nearly blinds him for a moment then he sees Suigetsu turn to him with an exasperated expression on his face.

"Can't you shut up for once Old Shark?" Suigetsu asks as he turns back towards Sasuke whom is standing next to him. "Why were you looking for me anyway?"

Kisame smacks Suigetsu across the back of his head and replies, "Hey, talk to your elders with more respect. I was looking for you cuz I was bored. When I was still with Itachi he would always be happy to appease my boredom."

Suigetsu makes a grossed-out face that compliments Sasuke look of pure pain. Sasuke looks down as Suigetsu says,

"Why the fuck would I talk to _you _with respect!? And why in the hell would I ever want to _appease your boredom_? Yeah, I know what you mean. It aint happening you ugly-ass Shark. Once was enough!"

"You wanna bet?" Kisame asks as he gets a glint in his eye and grabs a hold of Suigetsu's face roughly.

Suigetsu doesn't really have time to react before the new Yamada enters the room and speaks to Sasuke saying flatly,

"Mr. Uzumaki is here now. You said you wanted to see him?"

Sasuke nods and follows after Yamada who leads him out into the room where the prisoners meet their guests. Before he closes the door to Kisame and Suigetsu they see a flash of blonde followed by an angry glare obviously directed towards Sasuke. When the door closes Suigetsu exhales.

"What was that about?" Kisame asks.

"Why should I tell you Old Shark?"

KIsame hits him on the back of the head again and replies, "You're so damn rude!"

Suigetsu smirks then takes out his knife and begins twirling it around his fingers. Kisame watches him with interest until finally he asks,

"Why do you have that knife?"

Suigetsu looks up at him, still smirking, and answers,

"I'm collecting _them._"

Kisame's eyes beady eyes narrow, "Collecting what?"

"You know." Suigetsu replies with a grin.

Kisame laughs. "The Mist Seven Swordsmen, huh? I don't even know why we called ourselves swordsmen, we had nothing but little knives. Why would you want to be one of us? Most of us died out a long time ago."

"My brother. He was one. I'm gonna be better than he ever was. I'm gonna get _all _the swords. Not just one." Suigetsu's eyes seem to gaze off into the distance and Kisame gets curious.

"Who is your brother?"

"_Was._ He's dead now. Mangetsu was my brother. You probably know him."

"Mangetsu?" Kisame laughs. "Hell yeah I know him. I fucked him too! He sure didn't look like you though... you sure you're related?"

Suigetsu scowls. "We were half brothers. Just had the same mom. She was kinda a slut... Neither of us knew who our real fathers were."

Kisame looks thoughtful for a moment then asks,

"Hey kid, how old are you?"

"Sixteen. Don't you feel bad for taking a fucking minors virginity, asshole?"

Kisame smirks. "Sixteen isn't so bad. I was having sex way earlier than that!"

"You're gross." Suigetsu makes a face.

Kisame laughs then looks like he realizes something, "Wait! Why did you come to Kure-Ji-Kira with Sasuke? You don't seem to really have all that much loyalty to him. Not enough to get stuck in prison at least."

Suigetsu smirks, one pointed tooth poking out over his bottom lip.

"Yeah... I came here for one reason and one reason only; I want Samehada."

Kisame laughs. "Shoulda known... Alright kid. I'll make you a deal. If you become my new uke, then when we break out a' this place, I will _give you_ Samehada."

Suigetsu looks thoughtful for a moment then smirks. "Nah. Then I wouldn't have the fun of fighting you for it! Besides, Being your bitch would be fucking horrible! Nothing is worth that!"

Kisame glares then chuckles. "You're a weird kid."

"You're an ugly old shark who preys on young boys." Suigetsu replies smartly.

"Hey! I ain't that old! I'm only 32 and that's barely over my 20's!"

"You could be my dad!" Suigetsu remarks.

Kisame laughs. "Well maybe I am. What was your slutty mom's name?"

"Hoozuki Yuki. And don't call my mom slutty unless you want a mouthful of my fist!"

Kisame stops dead. "Hoozuki? Is that your name too?"

Suigetsu nods. Kisame takes a step back from Suigetsu. Images from the night he had taken Suigetsu were flooding his brain. The name Hoozuki was flashing through his memories along with the face of a fairly nice looking, whorish woman whom he had met when he was barely 16. He looked into Suigetsu's face again and suddenly saw something there that seemed very familiar. He is about to walk away but then scowls and reaches out quickly to pull out about 5 pale hairs from Suigetsu head.

"Hey! What'd you do that for?!" Suigetsu ask, rubbing his scalp.

Kisame ignores him and walks away, staring fixedly upon the fragile DNA he holds in his hand. He doesn't stop staring at it until he reaches the medical center where he finds Sasori playing around with a few chemicals. When Kisame walks in Sasori asks without even looking up,

"What's up, Kisame?"

Kisame holds out the hair in his hand then pulls a few of his own and says,

"Can you test these?"

"For what?" Sasori asks, suddenly intrigued.

"To see if... to see if we're related." Kisame answers with his eyes staring down towards the sea-foam colored floor.

Sasori takes the hair and looks away asking,

"This wouldn't happen to be Suigetsu's hair would it?"

Kisame doesn't answer. After a silent moment Sasori says,

"This is going to take a little while. I'll tell you when I get the results."

Kisame nods. As he walks towards the door he murmurs, "Hey Sasori, don't tell anyone. If its really... if this is really true... I don't want it to hurt the kid."

Sasori nod. Kisame nods back, having no doubt in his mind that his friend would ever reveal this information to anyone.

__________________________________________________

"Sasuke... WHAT THE HELL?!"

Sasuke looks down, not wanting to meet Naruto's angry gaze.

"GOD DAMMIT SASUKE! DON'T YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?"

Sasuke tries to look up but just swallows his words and keeps his gaze towards the floor. Naruto walks up to him and fumes for a moment, then out of the blue he brings a hand across the silent Uchiha's face, hard. Sasuke finally looks up as Naruto begins walking away angrily.

"If you aren't going to say anything, I might as well leave, jack-ass!"

"Wait!" Sasuke yells quickly, reaching out a hand towards Naruto.

Naruto turns back and glares as Sasuke scowls, asking,

"Tell me the truth, Naruto. Are you going out with Sai?"

Naruto is at first, confused, then he grows increasingly angry and yells,

"YOU DICK! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?!"

Sasuke continues scowling but he does flinch from Naruto's harsh words.

"Naruto if you are seeing that guy... tell me now."

Tears begin forming in Naruto's eyes. "I- I'm not... How could you... how could you think I could do that?"

Sasuke feels a twinge of guilt but the scowl doesn't leave his face.

"Why do you keep coming to see me? I told you to give up on me. I... I want you to move on."

Naruto's eyes widen. "I can't do that Sasuke. I can't. You don't know how much I... love you. Sai just... he isn't you, Sasuke! I could never be with him or anybody else! You're such a teme for ignoring me but I can't stop being in love with you."

"I wasn't ignoring you. I couldn't stop thinking about you all this time... But you can't love me when I'm stuck in here so... please, Dobe, don't come back to see me."

Sasuke turns and walks towards the door. Suddenly he gets hit in the back of the head with the phone that was previous sitting on a small table next to Naruto.

Before Sasuke can recover from the blow, Naruto screams,

"I hate that I love you, ass-hole! I'll be back next week and you better come see me, Teme!!!!"

He then storms out of the room leaving Sasuke too stunned to barely move until he just collapses into a seat and drops his head into his hands. He slowly starts to laugh until a few minutes later he nearly has tears streaming down his face.

"Naruto..." He says through chuckles. "What did I ever do to deserve such a dobe?"

__________________________________________________

Sasori walks down the pale gray hallway into the main room. He quickly spots Kisame sitting dejectedly in a corner. His deep chocolate eyes rest on Kisame and he sighs. He makes his way over and Kisame looks up nervously.

"The test was positive."

Kisame hangs his head and almost whispers,

"That's it then... I'm his father."

Sasori's blank expression flickers to pity for a moment and Kisame chuckles darkly.

"I guess I should start acting like it."

They both suddenly hear loud screaming,

"NO WAY IN HELL I'M CHANGING THAT STANKY-ASS DIAPER!!!!"

They glance over to where Hidan is refusing loudly to change his daughters diaper. Kakuzu seems to be rubbing his temples while Konan and Karin just stare at them amusedly. Sasori raises an eyebrow at Kisame and says,

"Just don't imitate Hidan, and I think you'll be fine."

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**HA! Oh... ok so while writing this I was watching "P.S. I Love You," and it is DEPRESSING me. A lot. but god that's such a sweet movie... seriously...**

**I have no comments on the bomb I just dropped in this chapter. But if YOU do... that's fine! ^_^**

**KeikoPanda102**


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27: Just The Girl

"Aren't babies supposed to sleep?" Kakuzu sighs as he rocks Mei in his arms.

"Not ours, apparently." Hidan stares up at the ceiling. "Oh Jashin... what did I do to deserve this?"

"Hidan." Kakuzu says suddenly.

Hidan sighs wearily and turns back to face Kakuzu who surprises him by holding Mei directly in front of his face. Hidan's eyes widen just as Kakuzu says,

"What did you do to deserve this?"

Mei's huge wide eyes lock on Hidan's and she blinks in time with him. Hidan can't help but smile. He reaches up and takes her from Kakuzu. She rests in his hands like a bag of flour and instantly closes her eyes.

"Aight... She's cute. So what?"

Kakuzu smirks as Hidan sits down on the bed next to him.

"So you don't regret it. You _like_ her. Ha ha."

Hidan sticks his tongue out at Kakuzu and the older man captures it in an instant. Hidan moans and slides his tongue into Kakuzu's mouth fervently. Just as Kakuzu slides a hand up Hidan's arm Mei wiggles in her sleep. Kakuzu pulls away and takes Mei while Hidan is left with his tongue hanging out in the air. He stays that way, glaring at the wall until Kakuzu returns after putting Mei in her crib.

"You look like a fool." He chuckles as Hidan glares.

"I wanna do it."

"Do what?" Kakuzu asks, faking naiveté, simply to mess with his husband.

As Kakuzu gets comfortable in the bed Hidan slides on top of him with his tongue still poking out of his mouth and says,

"I want you to fuck. Me. Now."

Kakuzu smirks. "What if she wakes up?"

Hidan glances at the baby monitor and smiles.

"We just have to be quiet."

Kakuzu rolls his eyes. "Like you could be quiet during sex."

"Shut up!" Hidan hisses. "I'm really horny and I want you, asshole!"

Kakuzu reaches up to push a piece of Hidan's hair back into place then traces his hand down Hidan's cheek and along his throat. Hidan moans as Kakuzu brushes over the small burn on his chest and down towards Hidan's stomach. Hidan's heartbeat quickens then Kakuzu's hand stops and rests on the large scar running vertically from below his belly button. They lock eyes and Kakuzu says firmly,

"No."

He then gently slides Hidan off of him and lays to the side, turning the light off as he goes. Hidan just stares blankly at Kakuzu's back then says,

"No...?"

"No."

"But... I'm horny."

"It would open your scar."

"I don't care!"

Kakuzu leans up and kisses him swiftly then says once again,

"No."

Kakuzu then turns away from Hidan and faces the wall. He tries to go to sleep but in only a few minutes he hears Hidan mutter,

"Kuzu..."

"No, Hidan. Not tonight."

Hidan scowls and places a hand on Kakuzu side as he says sweetly,

"No, I'm not... I was just... If we can't do it... Why can't we... Um..." Hidan scowls suddenly and grumbles, "Never mind..."

Kakuzu chuckles. "What are you going on about?"

"You're a jerk!"

"What did I do?" Kakuzu asks, perplexed.

Hidan growls, "You don't want to have sex, and then you won't even hold me. I guess you just don't fucking love me anymore."

Kakuzu can't help but smile as he turns to Hidan and wraps his arms around the angry body.

"Hidan... you're such a drama queen. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you so much. I love you so much, I would spend money on you. I want to fuck you so bad all the time I can barely stand it. I only didn't hold you because I was worried I would want you so bad. Only you could be so sexy after having a child, Hidan. I could never not love you."

Kakuzu waits for Hidan's response but then realizes that Hidan's breathing and his body had become much more relaxed. Kakuzu pulls Hidan closer to him and asks,

"Hidan?"

He just gets a small whimper in return. Kakuzu laughs lightly as he let's himself fall asleep, wrapped around a perfectly slumbering Hidan.

__________________________________________________

Deidara takes a seat next to Sasori on the couch and tilts his head as he stares at Suigetsu who is busy glaring at Kisame from across the room.

"Hey Danna," Deidara asks as he turns to Sasori, "what happened with Kisame and Suigetsu? Weren't they having sex."

"They only did it once." Sasori replies curtly.

"Yeah, yeah." Deidara mutters. "But how come Kisame's avoiding Suigetsu like the plague, un?"

Sasori tugs playfully on Deidara's ponytail. "Don't interfere with other people's lives, Deidara. It's rude."

Deidara pouts slightly then giggles.

"I'm surprised Kisame can ignore a glare like that. Suigetsu looks serious, yeah."

Sasori is quiet for a moment then asks, "If you found out that we were related... would you not want to have sex with me anymore?"

Deidara turns to him, confused.

"That's random, un." He then looks thoughtful for a moment.

"I don't think I could ever stop having sex with you, Danna. No matter what. Besides, we're both guys, so it's not like we would get pregnant or anything..."

His voice turns a little darker and he looks down. Sasori raises an eyebrow and brings his hand to cover Deidara's.

"Deidara... are you trying to tell me something?"

Deidara refuses to catch his gaze and Sasori frowns.

"Do you... want to have a baby?" he asks in an astounded tone.

"Do you, yeah?" Deidara hisses sharply.

Sasori is taken aback. "Where is this coming from Deidara? Why would you think i'd want a child?"

Deidara slides away from Sasori on the couch but still refuses to meet his gaze.

"I- I don't know. I guess... I want one! I want one with you but I can't have one because I'm a guy!"

"Deidara what are you going on about? How long have you wanted a kid?" Sasori asks, perplexed.

Deidara looks towards Hidan and Kakuzu who are watching Konan and Karin take turns feeding Mei. Sasori follows his gaze then sighs.

"I see. You want to try that same drug that Hidan and Kakuzu used, don't you?"

Deidara looks down once again.

"I asked the old Yamada about it... when Hidan was still pregnant, yeah. He said the drug was Orochimaru's, and I would have to ask him. Then, you know, Orochimaru died, and I think the drug is gone too! Now I see Hidan looking so happy with Mei and... I really want a baby now, yeah!"

Sasori glances over to Hidan again and finds that he doesn't understand how Deidara could translate Hidan yelling curses about changing diapers to him being happy. He sighs again and says,

"Deidara, I could care less about having a baby. I mean, I already have you to take care of, I don't think I could handle a kid. Plus, I wouldn't be able to stand not having sex with you for over 9 months. I'm to old to have a kid with you anyway."

Deidara looks up at him with nearly tearful blue eyes that, to Sasori at least, seem to scream "fuck me." Sasori rubs his temples and mutters,

"Deidara. Children don't stay the same. They change and grow. You, on the other hand, are cute, young, and cheerful, and will stay that way probably until you die. That's why I love you."

Deidara rolls his eyes. "I'm gonna grow old you know, un."

"No, you aren't. With all you're crazy explosions You'll probably kill yourself way before that." Sasori replies in a voice completely lacking emotion.

"Fine, un." Deidara replies flatly. "Be mean. But don't you dare leave me if you don't like me anymore, yeah!"

Sasori chuckles. "Don't start rambling on about having a baby again, Deidara. You scared me there for a second."

Deidara stands up and smirks at Sasori on the couch.

"I AM gonna have your kid someday, Danna. I swear, yeah."

Sasori feels a twinge of unease at these words but Deidara just sticks out his tongue then hops off to go play with Hidan and Mei on the other side of the room.

__________________________________________________

"Why are you avoiding me?" Suigetsu demands after finally cornering Kisame near the entrance of the showers.

Kisame flicks Suigetsu's forehead.

"You're imagining things moron. Why would I avoid you?"

"Why would you?" Suigetsu asks.

Kisame shrugs his shoulders and walks away from Suigetsu into the showers. Suigetsu follows him. Kisame scowls.

"This isn't your shower time."

"So?" Suigetsu asks as he strips off his jumpsuit.

Kisame sighs and shuffles as far away from Suigetsu as he can. He turns his head away so as not to rest his eyes on the soft pale skin of his flesh and blood. Suigetsu glares at Kisame's back then slides through some of the other guys to follow Kisame.

Kisame turns the water on and makes it scalding hot. Suigetsu moves to the shower next to him and turns the faucet while watching Kisame out of the corner of his eye. Kisame can't help but glance over when he feels he's being watched. Suigetsu meets his gaze, smirks, and winks. Kisame shudders.

Suigetsu frowns then decides to be more demanding. He moves into Kisame's shower and hisses when the hot water hits his skin.

"Damn that's hot!"

Kisame glares at him. "They go back to you're own shower."

Suigetsu's frown forms back on his face. He leans up against the wall and flips his hair back, spraying it across his face. Kisame feels a sudden desire to push the hair out of Suigetsu's face but restrains himself and continues washing as if Suigetsu weren't even there.

Suigetsu slides his eyes up and down Kisame's body. The air around him seems to heat up and he licks his lips. He notices that Kisame's eyes are closed and he slips closer to the larger man. He lets his hands move to Kisame's hips and Kisame's instantly pushes them away.

"What are you doing?"

Suigetsu pouts. "I want to fuck, everyone else is doing it!"

Kisame stares towards the ceiling and lets the the water rush over his body as he says smartly,

"If everyone was jumping off a bridge would you do it too?"

Suigetsu growls angrily.

"What the fuck did I do to you, Old Shark!? I'm trying to let you fuck me, aren't I?"

"You're just a kid, Kid, don't try things you don't understand."

Suigetsu's anger grow and he pushes Kisame into the tiled wall. Kisame snarls and grabs Suigetsu's hair to force him to his knees. Suigetsu whimpers and feels himself get excited from the rough action. Kisame stops instantly and releases Suigetsu, leaving the panting boy on the wet floor.

Kisame gulps as he walks away, a headache slowly starting to appear in the front of his brain. He is halfway dressed when he feels something hit him in his side. He looks down to see a bar of soap lying on the floor. He turns and sees Suigetsu glaring at him with another bar of soap in his hands. He chucks it and Kisame covers his face before the hard soap hits his neck.

"What the hell Suigetsu!?"

Suigetsu ignores him and continues pelting him with soap. The others in the shower just watch with a fragile amusement. Suigetsu finally runs out of soap but instead starts hitting Kisame with his fists.

"Is this just because I won't sleep with you!?" Kisame yells as he tries to defend himself.

"You're an ass!!!" Suigetsu replies.

Finally some guards come in and Kisame quickly grabs both of Suigetsu's wrists. The boy struggles and even tries kicking Kisame but the older man ignores him. Kisame pushes Suigetsu towards the guards and says,

"Can you guys please put him in the punishment cells until he calms down?"

The guards nod and drag a still struggling Suigetsu away. Kisame tries to ignore the glare that his son sends him until he can't be seen any more. Kisame leaves the showers quickly afterwords and goes straight to Kakuzu to buy himself a drink.

Suigetsu fidgets in his cell, angry and suffering from pent up emotions. He doesn't understand what he did wrong...

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**There's another chapter done! **

**Hope you liked it! XD**

**KeikoPanda102**


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28: Hallelujah

Suigetsu is led by a few guards to the solitary punishment cells. When he is tossed inside he instantly flicks off the guard who slams the door in his face cheerfully. Suigetsu leans against the wall and folds his arms over his chest.

"Damn Old Shark! Fucking asshole! What do I care if that ugly fish- OW!"

Suigetsu sticks his tongue out and tries to examine it. He doesn't see any blood but his tongue goes numb. He touches his sharp teeth lightly then mumbles,

"I probably shouldn't call someone else a fish... even Kisame."

Suigetsu leans back against the wall then feels water drip down from his head to his shoulders. He remembers that he was just dragged out of the showers and was still soaking wet. He shakes his head and sprays water about four feet in every direction. He shivers. He looks down and curses.

"Hey! Can I get some clothes in here!?" he yells at the guards through the small, barred window of the cell he is in. He waits a moment and when no one comes to give him something to wear he glances towards then bed and sees one thin blanket lying on it. He rolls his eyes then goes and grabs the blanket, trying to make it cover as much of his body as possibly. It was really only big enough for his shoulders.

He sits down on the bed and instantly reaches for his pocket. He curses when he realizes he doesn't have his knife. He would usually pull it out for comfort, or just for something to do. He leans back and is suddenly reminded of Kisame, who had promised a while ago to give him his Samehada. A fierce anger boils in his stomach. After all, it was Kisame's fault he was locked in confinement anyways.

"What's with that guy? He had sex with Mangetsu... why wouldn't he fuck me? He already did it once! What was another time gonna hurt anything!?"

Suigetsu lays back swiftly on the hard mattress and glares at the ceiling. He turns over an mumbles angrily,

"It's his fault anyway... Who would have though it would actually feel good?"

He lets his mind wander and feels the memory of Kisame's large hands roaming over his entire body. His skin had felt like light sandpaper, but it wasn't a bad feeling. It made Suigetsu's stomach do flips just thinking about it. It had been so bad, the idea of having sex with a guy like Kisame. It had made Suigetsu's blood boil.

Suddenly Suigetsu groans and his eyes shoot open. He was naked, so it didn't take him long to realize he had a raging hard on. Save to say... he handles it.

The next morning he gets a knock on his cell window. The guard opens the door and places a tray of food on the floor. He then turns away with a lazy,

"Happy Halloween."

Suigetsu glares at him then looks at the tray. Sure enough there is a small cupcake on it covered in black and orange frosting. Suigetsu picks it up just as the guard locks the door and warns,

"There's a toy in there by the way."

Suigetsu is about to put it down and go back to bed when his stomach growls loudly and he decides to at least have a bite of the treat. He chomps more than half of it and looks for the toy inside. He doesn't see anything then he feels something hard in his mouth. He holds it between his tongue and swallows the rest of the cupcake. Then he spits out the small plastic toy. He looks down in his hand and sees a small gray shark. He tosses it onto his tray muttering,

"Typical."

Then he goes back to his bed to sulk. Not the best halloween he'd ever had.

Back in the common room, Kisame had been unfortunate enough to receive a similar toy in his cupcake. He is sitting alone at a table and about the only one not having a good day. At least, he thought he was. He doesn't know that two other people are having worse of a time than he is. He is feeling depressed because of the whole Suigetsu thing. He didn't really want the kid to get in trouble, he just didn't know what to do. There are no books on, "What to do if your child wants to have sex with you."

He glances over to the other table where everyone else is enjoying their halloween. He sighs and decides it would just be easier to go back to bed until he thought of something to do.

At the other table Hidan groans.

"That's just embarrassing! Stop dressing her up in little outfits!"

Everyone is crowding around Mei who had tried on at least ten different halloween costumes already. She is now being shoved into her eleventh and Hidan seems to be the only one getting annoyed. Mei was smiling with an out-of-this-world look.

"Look she's a little teddy bear, un!" Deidara cries cheerfully.

"Hm..." Konan says thoughtfully. "I think I liked the bumblebee better..."

"No, the pumpkin was definitely cutest!" Karin squeals.

"Hey Kakuzu, you should make a fairy costume." Sasori says monotonously.

Kakuzu laughs. "Coming right up."

Hidan rolls his eyes."Don't encourage them, dammit."

"Oh shut up, Hidan. She looks cute."

Hidan pouts. "She always looks cute, no matter what she's fucking wearing!"

Kakuzu smiles fondly at Hidan and then at Mei. Maybe they won't have to try and escape after all...

In another part of the prison Sono Yamada watches them enjoy their baby and the holiday with conflicting emotions. He glances at a picture next to the smallest monitor. It shows him and someone who looks exceedingly similar wearing matching cat costumes. They were purple and striped with cute scarves and ears. Seiji and Sono Yamada were ten at the time it was taken.

"Halloween..." Sono mutters as he traces a finger over the glass covering the picture. "...was your favorite holiday..."

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**Em... this chapter didn't really make a lot of sense... and I kind of jumped around everywhere. I was just kinda rushed and distracted. Anywho!**

**HAPPY HALLOWEEN! **

**Review and tell me what you went as!!! XD**

**KeikoPanda102**


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29: Hate On Me

Crying bursts through the walls and hallways and rooms of Kure-Ji-Kira as Kakuzu tried to shut up his daughter. Hidan is stirring from a very heavy sleep. Kakuzu is not looking forward to Hidan when he finally wakes up.

Bright pink eyes open slowly and Hidan turns to Kakuzu and Mei, frowning. Mei stops for a moment then starts crying again. Hidan's mouth twitches and he sits up on the bed.

"She's teething." Kakuzu sighs, though he knows Hidan won't care.

"Give her here." Hidan orders sleepily.

Kakuzu stares at him nervously then shakes his head.

"You think I'm stupid? You're just gonna kill her."

Hidan rolls his eyes as he searches for something under the bed.

"I should fucking kill her. What time is it?" he asks as he continues searching for the mysterious object.

Kakuzu begins getting very suspicious as he answers slowly,

"It's around three thirty."

"We're damn lucky no one else's come in here to kill her." Hidan snorts.

"Zetsu tried around midnight." Kakuzu says as Hidan finally finds what he is looking for. He sees a brown, unmarked bottle with a brown liquid swishing inside it.

"Let me see her." Hidan holds out his arms.

Kakuzu glances from Hidan to Mei to the bottle and finally sighs and gives in. He passes their daughter to Hidan while warning,

"I'm watching you, Hidan. Don't hurt her."

Hidan ignores him as he holds Mei in one arms while using the other to hold the bottle and open it with his mouth. He sticks his finger in the top then tips the bottle upside down. He flips it back up and takes his finger out, shining with a small amount of the brownish liquid. He gently lifts up Mei's top lip and rubs his finger on her gums. He does the same with the bottom. He hands her back to Kakuzu who watches her move her mouth clumsily while still screaming. After a minute she quiets down completely. Hidan smirks then puts the lid back on the bottle and shoves it back under the bed.

Mei begins to close her eyes and drift to sleep. Kakuzu sets her in her crib then turns on Hidan.

"Where did you get that?" he asks gruffly.

Hidan just sticks out his tongue and replies,

"Married couples are supposed to have secrets right?"

Kakuzu just growls and tackles Hidan onto the bed. Hidan, instead of getting pissed, just wraps his arms around Kakuzu and pulls him closer. Kakuzu chuckles.

"That was very sweet what you did just now. Maybe you won't be a horrible mother after all."

"I'm starting to think I'm going crazy. At first I wanted to kill her but now I don't think I even could kill the little-"

"Don't call your daughter that!"

"I can't!" Hidan replies angrily. "I can't even talk bad about her. Just thinking about killing her makes me sick! I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me!"

They both turn to look over at Mei as she breathes easily in her sleep. She wiggles a bit as though she can sense them watching her and they both crack smiles.

"I wouldn't worry about it, Hidan. It's probably just hormones. Babies have to be cute. Otherwise we would kill them all."

"Hmph!" Hidan puffs as he turns away and tries to scoot in the opposite direction as Kakuzu. "I'm going to bed. Don't let her wake up again, idiot!"

Kakuzu roughly grabs Hidan's face and asks, "Who are you calling a idiot, Idiot."

He kisses Hidan softly then bites the Jashinst's moist lips. Hidan kisses back and wraps his arms around Kakuzu as he leans up on his knees. Kakuzu rests his hands on Hidan's waist as he reaches up to probe his tongue into Hidan's mouth.

Hidan couldn't stop himself from crying out. He felt like it had been forever since Kakuzu's huge hands were caressing his body. They felt like they were holding in his soul as they gripped and stroked and toyed with every part of him.

Kakuzu smirked as Hidan melting in his arms. He slid a hand into Hidan's jumpsuit and along his taut skin. Kakuzu began to feel Hidan's strong heartbeat through his chest. It made Kakuzu intoxicated with it's quick, rhythmic flutters. He groaned and leaned forward, marking the place on Hidan's skin where he knew lied a beating treasure with a kiss. He bit the skin then sucked, Hidan moaning beneath him. Kakuzu could barely contain himself anymore. He wanted to taste it. Hidan's heart, probably in perfect condition, covered in blood just dripping with red lust. Kakuzu pushed Hidan forcibly on the bed and Hidan just felt himself get more excited. He didn't see the hungry glint in Kakuzu's eyes. Kakuzu pushes his tongue into Hidan's mouth and dominated it all the while clawing at the skin over Hidan's life organ.

"Waaaaaah!" Mei's loud cry broke their bubble of lust.

Kakuzu instantly jumped up and rushed over to her. Hidan glared, shocked at his quick movement. The Jashinist pouted over his now unreleased erection. He wondered how Kakuzu could stop so easily.

Kakuzu tended to Mei and fiercely worked to not look in Hidan's direction. He couldn't give away what he had been thinking just moments before. Would Hidan forgive him? Kakuzu didn't know. He rocked Mei and kissed her forehead in thanks. He was so very grateful to her loud scream at that moment. Any later and he didn't know what he might have done. When Mei finally went back to sleep he let himself glance at Hidan. He flinched when he saw that his lover was waiting for him. He doesn't meet Hidan's eye as he walks towards the door and grumbles,

"I need a midnight snack..."

Hidan's face scrunches up into an angry scowl.

"You're not gonna leave me like this are you Asshole?!"

Kakuzu feels a strong headache form in the front of his mind.

"Take care of it yourself." he snaps as he quickly walks out of the room and towards the therapy quarter.

* * *

Zetsu poked Kisame in his side. KIsame groaned and rolled over. Zetsu chuckled gleefully.

"Kisame it's nearly noon. **Yeah! When are you gonna get up, Fatass?**"

"Don't bother him Zetsu." Sasori adds quietly, "Suigetsu is getting out of confinement today."

"He's already out. **Like we said, it's NOON.** We saw him hanging around with his Uchiha friend."

"Hm." Kisame hummed to himself. Zetsu just rolled his eyes and meandered out of the room. Sasori silently placed a hand on KIsame's shoulder and murmured,

"You really are going to need to face him sooner of later. I never knew you to be a coward, Kisame."

Some animal instinct awoke in Kisame and he knew Sasori was right. He was not a coward. What was so scary about the kid anyway? Kisame thought about when he screwed Suigetsu and felt a bit of vomit come up in his throat. He forced it down and walked into the common area. Instantly his eyes found Suigetsu who was hanging off a very annoying looking Sasuke.

Suigetsu seemed to sense Kisame as he entered and they locked eyes. Suigetsu's purple orbs narrowed and he turned back to Sasuke, smiling. He lifted a finger and twirled some of Sasuke's feathery hair around it. Sasuke wouldn't take it anymore.

"Stop it or I will rip that finger off."

"But-" Suigetsu whimpered.

"Stop." Sasuke firmly glared then stood up and walked over to talk to Sasori and Deidara.

Kisame couldn't help but smirk as he strutted past Suigetsu confidently. A burning anger boiled in Suigetsu and he stormed out of the room towards the seme hall.

* * *

**Hey, hey, hey guys, hey! Guess what! I got my inspiration back!!! Trust me that is something to celebrate!**

**Also, in case your going to comment and be annoying, I do realize i've changed from writing in present tense to writing in past tense. I did it because writing in present tense is really annoying and way harder to keep it flowing. From now on I'm going to work really hard at keeping it past tense. **

**Um... I feel like I had something else to say but I forgot so.... PLease review and I'll try to update soon!**

**KeikoPanda102**


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30: Defying Gravity

Hidan didn't sleep well. He had tried waiting for Kakuzu to return to their room but feel asleep after realizing that his lover wasn't coming back. He was woken up by Mei who pulled at his hair impatiently and mumbled little angry sounds. He opened his eyes and saw that she had gotten all the way form her crib to the side of his and Kakuzu's bed. He instantly sat up and his eyes went wide. He picked her up as he asked out loud,

"How the hell did you get all the way over here?"

She just smiled and pushed her head into his chest. He smiled back and placed her on the bed where she sat and stared up at him with wide and curious eyes. He got dressed and combed back his hair. Then he tucked Mei under his arm loosely and went to look for Kakuzu.

First he checked in the common room. No Kakuzu. Then he checked in the showers. No Kakuzu. He checked near the special rooms. No Kakuzu that he could see. He was getting a little frustrated and it seemed to be rubbing off on Mei who was getting more fussy by the minute. As he walked through the common room towards the seme hallway he yelled angrily,

"Has anybody seen my good for nothing, piece of shit husband?!"

Karin and Konan looked up from their table and rushed over to Hidan. Konan gave Hidan a questioning look as Karin began making faces and playing with Mei. Hidan sighed.

"I haven't seen the asshole all day. He went to go get a snack last night and he didn't really seem like him. I can't find him."

"How can you not find him? It's not like he can go anywhere." Karin remarked loudly.

Konan smacked Karin across her head and smiled encouragingly at Hidan.

"Do you want us to look after Mei while you look for Kakuzu? I'm sure she'll need some food sooner or later anyway."

"Um..." Hidan said nervously, "No, I think I'm going to um, keep her with me. If she needs food I'll come find you guys."

Karin pouted as she patted Mei's head and walked away with Konan. Hidan made his way towards the seme hall and as turned down the long walkway he bumped into a flustered looking Suigetsu.

"Suigetsu!" Hidan exclaimed as he switched Mei to his other arm. She looked around the hallway then up at Suigetsu with her wide violet eyes. Suigetsu faintly noticed that her eyes had changed color from when he first saw. The shark looked back up at Hidan as he asked, "What are you doing on the seme hall?"

Suigetsu blinked for a few times before answering, "No-nothing. What are you doing?"

"Looking for Kakuzu. You seen him?"

Suigetsu shook his head and started walking away from Hidan who was now getting pissed. Suigetsu even heard his loud angry scream when Hidan discovered that Kakuzu wasn't on the seme hall either. Suigetsu might have felt sorry for the baby-toting criminal if he did not have his own problems.

As he walked into the common room and did his best to avoid Kisame's direction he feels a hand on his shoulder. He turned around to see one of the younger, slicker inmates that he had been talking to earlier smirking at him.

"I'll take you up on your offer kid." He said smoothly. "But I got one question; what's in it for you?"

Suigetsu's face lied just as smoothly as the mans voice as he replied, "Isn't it obvious?"

The mans smiled cracked wider.

"Alright."

He threw an arm over Suigetsu's shoulder and which left Suigetsu just at he right angle to glance over his shoulder and see if Kisame was watching him. Kisame was facing the other direction but with his head turned so much to the right there was no way he wouldn't see Suigetsu in his peripheral vision. Suigetsu let the arm around his shoulder guide him out o the common room and down the hall.

Kisame did see him and he made a small sound like the combination of a growl and a sigh. He stood up and walked towards the seme hall. He knew today wasn't a good day to be awake. As he turned he bumped into Hidan as well.

"Sorry-" He started to apologize but Hidan grabbed a fistful of his jumpsuit with his free hand and glared as tears started forming in his eyes.

"Where's Kakuzu?!"

Kisame was so startled by Hidan's emotions he stuttered as he answered. This just made Hidan more angry and he started pulling Kisame after him shouting,

"You're going to help me find him!"

Kisame finally got his sense about him and said,

"Wait! Hidan! Are you sure you looked everywhere? You don't have to freak out so much you know."

"I'm not freaking out!" Hidan snapped back. Mei began fussing in his arms. He released Kisame's jumpsuit to switch her and she giggled a bit. Kisame couldn't help but think that Hidan looked exactly like a fretting mother. He sighed and said calmly,

"Look. I'm sure Kakuzu is around here somewhere. Have you checked the therapy rooms?"

Hidan stopped fidgeting with Mei and stared at Kisame like a goldfish.

"The... therapy rooms?"

Kisame nodded.

"Where are they again?"

Kisame stopped himself from rolling his eye and pointed down a corner hallway. Hidan instantly ran towards it, flying around corners like a wild animal. He reached a closed door just as it creaked open and someone exited.

He heard muffled voices, one distinctly sounding like Kakuzu, then the door closed again and Yamada stepped out looking troubled. Hidan would have pushed Yamada up against the wall but stopped himself because he remembered he had Mei in his arms. He settled for glaring fiercely at the surprised man.

"What are you doing with Kakuzu, you retard? He's in there isn't he?!"

"Please calm down, Hidan." Yamada said softly. "Kakuzu came here of his own free will. He asked me to help him."

Hidan was at a loss for words. He gaped at Yamada as the man glanced down at a clipboard in his hand and scowled.

"Wh- why? What does he need help with?" Hidan asked.

"You won't be able to see him for a few days I think. Kakuzu has a small problem and I need some time to solve it." Yamada said flatly.

Hidan's heart quickened. _A problem?_ He tried to think to think back to the past couple of days to see if he could remember how Kakuzu had a problem. He couldn't think of anything. Everything had been perfect until Kakuzu had acted weird the night before.

"What kind of problem?"

"He told me not to tell you. Specifically."

"That asshole!" Hidan exclaimed. He glanced towards the door and Yamada noticed instantly.

"Hidan, this is really the best thing for right now. When Kakuzu wants to see you I'm sure he will let you know."

Hidan stared at him for a moment then started banging on the door with his free fist. Mei imitated him by lifting her tiny fists and raising her voice in little coo's.

"Kakuzu get your ass out here!" He screamed.

Yamada's eyes found Mei and he raised his eyebrows.

"Is she already this active? she's only six months right?"

Hidan ignored him and continued banging on the door yelling,

"Kakuzu, what the fuck are you doing?!"

Finally Yamada sighed and called some guards to drag Hidan away and back into the common room. While he was being dragged away Yamada opened the door and Hidan caught a glance at Kakuzu sitting inside the room. Their eyes met and Hidan's heart lurched. He was worried about Kakuzu. What could be wrong with him?

* * *

**Find out next time on... Don't Drop The Soap! **

**I remembered what I was going to say at the end of that last message! Seiji and Sono from Sensitive Pornograph! Yup. I needed names and I was watching SP so that's what I ended up with. Glad someone noticed. XD**

**KeikoPanda102**


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31: Fireflies

"When did it start?"

"Last night."

"No, I mean when did it start originally?"

Kakuzu sighed. He had tried to block it out. He had worked for months after first coming to Kure-Ji-Kira to stop thinking about it. It was coming back now though. The memories flowed into his mind like a polluted river.

He was young. Well, younger. The perfect surgeon. He was clean and organized. He was focussed and clear headed so that nothing ever came before his patients. When he had a job to do he did it, perfectly. Everyone at the hospital either admired him or envied him. He could care less about anything other than his job. Some might have said he lived a stressful life but he thought that something as organized as his days could never be stressful.

He had time for everything he needed to do. Work, fun, and romance. He had been seeing a woman very much like himself for a few months when it happened. The woman who's name he would not think, got shot. In her chest.

Of course Kakuzu insisted on being the doctor to preform what he thought would be a life saving surgery. He was minutes away from going in to do the operation when he heard the police investigating the case talk about the shooting. One of the police said those fateful words:

"I can't believe how many shootings there are because of infidelity these days."

Cheating. Kakuzu had worked so hard at having a decent lover but then she went and cheated on him. Kakuzu remembered his breathing getting heavy and then he remembered clearly walking into the surgery room. He remembered cutting open the wound and seeing it.

The beating heart of his lover.

That was the moment when it happened. He snapped. He dropped his scalpel and he reached into her chest, pulling out her crimson organ as the nurses stared in shock. No one moved as Kakuzu held the heart in his hand and slowly pulled it out of the chest. The body seemed to know it was nearing death and it jerked forward, trying to keep itself connected to the one thing keeping it breathing. The heart also seemed to know it was nearing the end. It beat faster even though it's person was unconscious. This quick fluttering just made Kakuzu more thirsty. He pulled at it harder. Finally the tendons popped and the heart stopped beating. It was dead. She was dead. Everything in Kakuzu's life was dead.

His past life that is. After this incedent of course he got arrested, but he got out. He went on the run. He was mad, crazy. He became obsessed with hearts. He collected them. He put them inside himself. When he needed money, which he had always craved and obsessed over, he found a way to sell his hearts. Only the ones he didn't love of course. There were a few special ones that he kept inside himself for all time.

Finally he got tracked down by non other than the first Yamada. He was having a bad day when the sly man found him. Yamada used many conniving tactics to make Kakuzu come with him, back to Kure-Ji-Kira.

At first Kakuzu had hated it. He tried to break out many times. He thirsted for more money and more hearts which were obviously scarce in the prison. Yamada noticed these addictions and, figuring the one about hearts was more disturbing, worked endlessly trying to find a way to fix Kakuzu. In the end, after a lot of phsyco-therapy and some very illegal drugs, Kakuzu no longer felt a hunger for them. He became relaxed once again in his knew home where he felt safe. He barely thought about the girl he first killed or how he loved her. Because he didn't really love her. His new life inside the prison was much better than before.

Now he even had Hidan and Mei. He never thought in a million years that someone like him would have a child. It was a possibility that had not crossed his mind. He treasured his daughter and his lover more than anything, maybe even more than his money.

When the first Yamada was still alive he had continued going to therapy every now and then to make sure he didn't succumb back to his former insanity.

In the therapy room where he found himself yet again. He held his head in his hands as he knew he was trapped again. Trapped in his own mind. He was not sane. But he also would not hurt Hidan. Never. He would do whatever it took to make that become an impossibility.

"A while ago. This was the main reason I came here. I came to Kure-Ji-Kira for help. Seiji helped me. Can you do it again?" he looked up at a passive Sono Yamada pleadingly.

"My brother was much smarter than me. I do not know how to help you."

"Try!" Kakuzu barked.

"I will. But only because that is what my brother would do. To him I'm sure something like this would be a challenge. I'm going to try and find his notes. I don't know how long it will take but if your craving is as bad as you say I think you should keep away from your lover and child until I fix it. You can stay in here of course."

Kakuzu nodded.

Yamada stood up and walked to the door. He locked it before exiting.

* * *

"Tell me about the heart." Was Yamada first request when he sat down across from Kakuzu a few days later. Kakuzu placed the book he was reading on the table and gave Sono Yamada a strange look. Yamada just nodded.

"Tell me about the heart as if you were explaining it to someone who had never heard of such a thing before."

Kakuzu frowned and then he smiled.

"The heart is the most important organ in the human body. It gives life. It is life. It contains the blood and the oxygen we need to keep going. It moves and breathes like it has it's own soul. It is the center of the self and it is also a symbol. The represent love, yes? This is probably due to the fact that when one is in love ones heart beats faster and faster. The heart is usually the first thing to go when dying, therefor is one has an exceptionally strong hear they will most likely live longer. They are so fragile... but so strong."

He spoke with a reverence Yamada had never heard before. He scowled and write a few notes on his paper as Kakuzu continued speaking. He explained the science of taking a heart and keeping it alive out of the body. He spoke of how easy it was to kill a heart. He spoke of the connection between ones heart and their soul. He said that the soul lies in the heart. He said it as a fact, like he knew it was true.

Yamada pulled a few photo's out. Kakuzu raised an eyebrow as Yamada explained,

"I'm going to show you these. I want to see your reactions."

"Are they pictures of hearts? I did this before with the first Yamada."

Sono flinched. He felt like he was suddenly forced to remember the fact that the man who had killed his brother was sitting before him. He forced his hatred down and smiled.

"Yes. These are pictures of hearts. Here's the first one."

He flipped up the photo and there was a very small heart. Kakuzu's eyes shot open.

"A babies..." he muttered.

"You don't want this one? Isn't it a good, healthy heart?" Yamada asked as Kakuzu's breathing sped up.

"It's... very healthy. It's new... A new heart. Of a child..." Kakuzu instantly thought of Mei. Her heart would look this way. He didn't feel the craving for it. He felt sickness in his own heart.

Yamada switched the photo. Now there showed a blackened heart and deformed heart of someone who either smoked a lot or was caught in a fire.

"That might have been a good heart, if not for the owner of it being an idiot." Kakuzu muttered. He felt it a flicker of his past thirst. That heart would have gotten him money. In the past he might have been paid a lot of money to trade that heart for a better one. Many more people got illegal heart transplants than one would expect. Rich people who had money to spare and organs that they didn't care to look after.

Yamada flipped the picture. There was a picture of a perfectly ordinary looking heart. It was framed by the tan chest of a healthy man.

Kakuzu licked his lips. That was a good heart. More than a good heart, it was a familiar heart. He clutched his chest and felt one of his hearts beating faster than the others.

"I still have that one!" he yelled.

"Yes." Yamada said quietly. "I was wondering if you would remember. You took this heart from a very healthy man of 27. He was a swimmer in the olympics. He had a family and a small child. You took his heart out of pure selfishness."

Kakuzu's green eyes narrowed. He leaned back in his chair.

"Do you expect me to feel sorry? That heart has been keeping me going for years. Do you have any idea how old I am? I have mastered life because I only think about myself. That heart was nearly perfect! It still is!"

"Then why do you need more hearts?" Yamada asked as he put the pictures away.

Kakuzu was silent then he looked down and muttered,

"I don't need more. I only need Hidan's."

Yamada stared at him for a while then he stood.

"I understand. I've found some of Seiji's notes. He was not very organized so they are hard to decipher. I'm working on tracking down the supplier of the Scezozome* you used before. I'll get back to you. Stay here until then, obviously."

Kakuzu nodded and Yamada left the room. As he opened the door Hidan who had been waiting outside all day tried to force his way past Yamada.

"Kakuzu get your ass out here!! How am I supposed to take care of Mei with you in that fucking room?"

Kakuzu wanted nothing more than to rush out, embrace his child, and beg Hidan for forgiveness but he restrained himself. He wouldn't hurt them. Not ever.

* * *

***Something I made up.**

**Whoo! Isn't me having inspiration great? It means I update super fast! Which is always good. Not only do I update fast but they are good updates too. How did everyone like a little Kakuzu history? It wasn't very detailed but it did get the point across. **

**KeikoPanda102**


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32: Russia and his big and little sisters Ukraine and Belarus! Ukraine has big boobs that bounce and make funny sounds when she moves. Belarus is scary and wants to rape poor Russia. He is very afraid and hides from her.(Yes, this entire thing is the title of this chapter!)

Days passed inside Kure-Ji-Kira without much of anything. Soon it had been nearly a month and a half. Hidan's days consisted of sitting outside the therapy room door with Mei in his lap stubbornly. Inside the room, unbeknownst to Hidan, Kakuzu and Yamada worked tirelessly to try and solve Kakuzu's problem. The other Akatsuki members were worried about the pair but a few of them had problems of their own.

Kisame could not help but notice Suigetsu's brand new streak of promiscuity. Not that Suigetsu was trying to hide it. Kisame was smart enough to know that the kid was doing it on purpose. If the fleeting glances weren't enough to tip him off, their awkward exchange in the showers the day before made it perfectly clear.

Kisame had been feeling really run down, not just from Suigetsu but from a lot of little things. Itachi's birthday came and went without Itachi there. Kisame got a phone call from his mother the morning of the shower room incident. She didn't know he was in jail. She told him on the phone that she wasn't surprised, and then she hung up. He wondered faintly what she would say if he told her that he had fucked her grandson.

Kisame decided he needed a shower to wash away all his negative emotions. Water always calmed him down. He made his way to the shower room and was unzipping his jumpsuit when he heard loud grunting and yelling. This was not uncommon in the showers so he thought nothing of it. Only when he turned the corner did he see that it was Suigetsu on the floor with some guys dick in his ass. It was not even the same guy Suigetsu had done it with the day before, nor the day before that.

Kisame flinched as he was curious when Suigetsu would run out of guys to screw. There weren't that many in the prison in the first place. Suigetsu instantly noticed him when he came in. He opened purple eyes defiantly then wrapped his arms around his mate and winked, making sure to scream even louder.

Kisame couldn't take it. He walked out of the showers quickly, but not before turning the shower right above them freezing cold. Then, before he could stop himself he muttered towards Suigetsu,

"Don't be a slut."

He didn't say it because he was jealous, like Suigetsu had wanted him to be all along. He said it protectively. He didn't like the idea of his son sleeping with tons of deranged and dirty men. At least, that's what he told himself as he felt anger bubble in his stomach.

After this shower incident, Suigetsu did not give up on making Kisame jealous. He started flaunting his sordid relationships even more publicly. Hour long make-out sessions on the couch, three-or more-somes in the showers, open flirting with absolutely everyone. It was really wearing on Kisame, and not just him. As Suigetsu was dragged out of the room by a thinner guy with dreads Sasuke, Karin and Juugo came up to Kisame.

"Why are you doing this to Suigetsu?" Sasuke sai flatly.

"Kid, don't talk to me." Kisame replied with a sigh.

"Why?" Sasuke insisted. "Because I look like my brother?"

Now Kisame was getting angry.

"You should really shut your mouth about something you don't know shit about."

"Well you don't know shit about caring for someone!" Karin interjected. "Suigetsu really likes you. I mean, duh! He's doing all this to try and get your attention and you know it!"

"Once again, little girl; don't talk about something you don't fully understand."

"What is not to understand?" Juugo asked in an accusatory-free tone.

"It's complicated." Kisame replied.

"Bullshit." Sasuke snapped. "Your being a jerk to him and you need to fix it. Look, however weird he may be, he is our friend."

Kisame suddenly got a flashback to something Itachi had said to him long before. He had been angry that day, Yamada was messing with his head in therapy and making him pissed at himself and depressed at his life. Yamada had especially picked at his strange looks. Itachi had sat him down and said clearly,

"I don't care how weird you look, nor does anyone else. We are your friends. We'd like you even if you were a real shark."

He then gave Kisame a rare Uchiha smile and said,

"Even if your different, I still like you."

Kisame came back to reality and faced the determined kids in front of him. He pulled a hand through his hair and groaned,

"Ok. I will see what I can do about the kid. No promises."

Sasuke simply nodded and walked away but both Karin and Juugo smiled sweetly in thanks.

Kisame knew it was time to tell Suigetsu the truth.

* * *

Kisame put it off for a few more days. He didn't want to face it. He didn't want to face anything. Finally one day Yamada came into the common room with his clipboard and read off of it,

"I need to see Karin, Deidara, Kisame, and Suigetsu for a moment in the therapy room. It's not optional."

Kisame groaned but knew he had to go. He was a tiny bit curious anyway. He hadn't seen Kakuzu in weeks and was beginning to worry about his friend. As he walked with the others he saw Suigetsu give him an angry sideways glance and he sighed. Karin cleared her throat, making Kisame's resolve strengthen somewhat.

Kisame approached Yamada as the man tried to ignore Hidan who was determined to continue screaming vulgarities at him until Yamada let him see Kisame, Suigetsu, Deidara, and Karin were all standing in front of the therapy room door Yamada spoke over Hidan's yells,

"Ok! Everyone I mentioned before can please come into the room now!"

Deidara cast a backwards glance at Hidan holding Mei and he frowned.

"I'm not going in without Hidan, un!"

Yamada shrugged his shoulders.

"Fine with me. We didn't really need you anyway."

Deidara gaped as Karin sent him and Hidan a fleeting glance before the door closed behind her. Deidara kicked the wall angrily and Hidan just glared at the closed door and growled,

"Whatever. Thanks for trying I guess."

He lifted Mei off his hip and placed her on the floor. he sat down next to her and faced the closed door, determined to wait until someone came out. Mei crawled around on her stomach in a circle and every few seconds Hidan would glance her way, just to keep an eye out for her.

As soon as he walked into the therapy room, Kisame felt a bit nervous. He, too had some not so great memories in this room. He saw Kakuzu sitting in a chair with wires connected to his skin and another chair with similar wires across from him. Kakuzu lifted his head up at Kisame when he walked in. kisame just shook his head and asked,

"How you doing man?"

"I've been better." Kakuzu replied without humor.

Yamada then spoke up and addressed the others,

"We need you all for a quick test. Kakuzu and I decided on you all specifically."

"What's wrong with him?" Suigetsu asked tactlessly.

"We aren't going to tell you." Yamada replied.

"Frankly, I just don't trust that you won't tell Hidan." Kakuzu added.

"He's really lost without you, you know." Karin muttered.

Kakuzu's expression didn't change. Yamada cleared his throat again as he instructed,

"The test is really very simple. All you have to do is take the top half of your jumpsuit off, get these wires connected to you, and sit there. How about Karin first?"

"I have to take my shirt off?" She asked. Yamada nodded and Karin blushed a little and scowled. "No laughing."

She stripped her jumpsuit to her waist and Suigetsu let out a snort a bit like a cough.

"Woah! Their huge!"

"SHUP UP!" Karin growled. "It's because of the milk for Mei!"

She sat down and let Yamada attach the wires as Suigetsu stood and snickered. Kisame felt his gaze continually shift to Suigetsu's smile. This was the most light-hearted he had seen the boy look in a while. He once again thought of how bad Suigetsu's reaction would be if he knew the truth.

Karin hissed when the cold metal wires touched her skin then she settled down, keeping her face blank. The room was silent as Yamada and Kakuzu held their breathes, seeming to be waiting for something. The others waited as well even if they didn't know what they were waiting for. Finally Kakuzu just shook his head.

"This is pointless. I already told you that."

Yamada just nodded.

"I want to try the other two anyway."

He disconnected Karin from the wires and let her leave. As the door opened and she skipped out, Hidan's voice came booming into the room. He could only scream, "Kaku-" before a guard slammed the door shut and cut him off.

Just this little bit of Hidan's voice set the instruments monitoring Kakuzu beeping for a fraction of a second before he got himself under control. He and Yamada exchanged a glance then Yamada instructed Suigetsu to do what Karin had done. Kisame rolled his eyes when Suigetsu playfully stripped off his jumpsuit and winked. Kakuzu's observant eyes didn't miss how tense Kisame's shoulders had gotten at this little act.

When Suigetsu's test received the same results that Karin's had, he was free to go. The door was opened and Hidan's screamed. Once the door was closed again Kakuzu sighed while Kisame asked,

"Do you really need me to do this test?"

As he ripped off the wires Kakuzu shook his head.

"I just wanted to talk to you."

Kisame sighed and sat down.

"You're my best friend," Kakuzu stated flatly. "I'm trying to look out for you. Suigetsu-"

"Drop it." Kisame growled as he cut his friend off.

He and Kakuzu locked eyes and everything they needed to say was comprehended in that one glance. Kakuzu exhaled thickly.

"How is Hidan?"

"How do you think he is?"

Kakuzu flinched and scowled. Kisame stood, walking to the door.

"I'll tell him you're ok." He said lightly.

"Take care of your own problems first." Kakuzu warned.

Kisame just nodded and left, giving Kakuzu one more chance to hear Hidan's voice for the day.

Kisame headed straight for Suigetsu. It was time.

He found him in the showers, pressed up against a wall by one of his "friends." Kisame approached them unflinchingly and ordered in a stern voice,

"Get off."

The man instantly backed away from Suigetsu and nearly ran out the door. Suigetsu's eyes were fierce as he pulled at his hair and waited for Kisame to speak.

"We need to talk." Kisame said.

"Finally." Suigetsu rolled his eyes.

Kisame ignored this, his expression somewhat pained and saddened by what he was about to do.

"For the record... I did try." Kisame muttered wearily. "I tried to hide the truth from you. I tried to protect you."

Suigetsu's smirking face slowly fell into a worried scowl. Kisame continued,

"I tried to save you. I tried, I really did. Suigetsu..."

He reached out, grasping Suigetsu's shoulders firmly as he stared into his eyes pleadingly.

"I tried... to be a good father."

* * *

**Well, that sure was dramatic... XD**

**Heh, heh.. Sorry about the title. I was having a Hetalia moment. I'm sure someone understands...**

**KeikoPanda102**


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33: PoGonYuTo - The combination of Pokemon, DragonBall Z, Yugioh, and Naruto(another weird ass long title)

"You can't be!" Suigetsu squeaked, his voice jerking up a few notches higher than normal. "Why the fuck would you joke about something like that?!"

Kisame struggled to keep his voice steady as he replied,

"I'm not joking. I am your father. I had a test done on our DNA... It was a match."

Suigetsu just shook his head. His shoulders, which Kisame was still gripping tightly, were shaking and seemed smaller and more vulnerable.

"You can't be! You fucking can't!"

"It makes sense, Suigetsu."

"No!" Suigetsu yelled, his scream reverberating off the tiles of the shower. "You can't be my dad because I feel- I feel-"

Kisame felt his heart wrench. He knew what Suigetsu was going to say next. He kept silent and let the boy continue,

"...I see you and I think of that time you... You know! And I get... like little butterflies- but HOT! So hot... and If- if you were my dad I couldn't... I wouldn't feel like that..."

Kisame couldn't take much more. Suigetsu looked so young, so innocent when he said those words. It was enough to break anyones heart, especially a fathers.

"It was a mistake, Suigetsu. It was a terrible mistake and it was all my fault. You can blame me. I don't care if you hate me for the rest of your life, I just thought you should know the truth. I am your father."

Kisame should have left then. He had said what he needed to say. There was nothing more he could do. Suigetsu needed to handle his own feelings himself. On the other hand, Kisame couldn't help but feel as if it wasn't quite over. Suigetsu wouldn't look up. His arms hung limply at his sides until finally he got up the strength to murmur,

"What if I don't care?"

Kisame was taken aback. He stared down at Suigetsu with widening eyes, not believing his own ears. Suddenly Suigetsu looked up with a grin.

"Just kidding!" He shook his shoulders and Kisame's arms fell from him. His rows of pointed teeth showed as he said, "I don't really know how to react to something like this! It's not like it happens all the time. I um... I guess we'll just move on. Pretend it didn't happen."

It took Kisame a moment but then he just nodded weakly. Suigetsu tried to chuckle but it came out as a disfigured grimace and depressed laugh. He began walking away from Kisame, towards the door.

He fainted halfway to the exit.

* * *

Kakuzu rolled over and inwardly cursed himself for being such a light sleeper. He remembered back to when he and the first Yamada were in therapy and had discussed his lack of sleep. It took about 4 hours for Kakuzu to finally admit the reason he had a hard time staying asleep was because he was paranoid someone would come and steal his money while he was resting. Unfortunately, that was one bad habit therapy had not cured.

Kakuzu sat up and reached next to him for a glass of water. His hand stopped dead just inches from the glass.

A bright light was pouring into the room from the hallway.

The door had been left open.

Kakuzu stayed frozen as he debated what to do.

_Just go and close it. Go back to sleep._ He told himself. He nodded and stood gently. He walked with the more careful steps and didn't want to breath for fear of misplacing his good intentions. He stepped up to the door, held the knob in his hand, and pushed ever so lightly. It squeaked and he stared at it with disdain.

_No,_ He said to himself._ I haven't been making Yamada lock me in here for nothing. I can't just leave the one time he forgot. Just close the door. _

He pushed it a few more inches and it squeaked louder. He closed his eyes and felt annoyance bubble in his stomach. When he opened his eyes he saw the hallway just outside the door. The sight that met him made his stomach do flips. There was the place Hidan always sat with Mei, waiting for someone to open the door so he could yell. Kakuzu always tried not to look whenever the door opened but he couldn't stop himself. Hidan always looked so angry, and somehow so adorable when he screamed for those few treasured seconds when they could see each other.

Kakuzu shook his head and pushed the door again, only to stop and fling it open when he saw something else sitting in the same spot Hidan always did. He forgot about not leaving the room the second he saw it. He stepped into the hallway and bent down to the floor. He slowly picked up Mei's blanket. He had made it for her before she was even born. It was pink, but not the dull pink like the normal baby girl pink, It was a neon pink, the color of Hidan's eyes. On one corner it had a money symbol and on the other the Jashin symbol. The Jashin symbol was very messily done because Hidan had tried to sew it himself just after Kakuzu taught him how.

He held the fuchsia clothe in his hand and stood up, glancing both ways down the halls, making sure they were empty. It was very late, and they were completely deserted.

He took a step towards his and Hidan's room then stopped. He waited. He waited for some inner voice, his conscience perhaps, to tell him it was a bad idea. To warn him to go back into the room. To put the blanket down and save himself a lot of grief. No voice came. Kakuzu figured that either there was no need to be worried or he just didn't have a conscience to begin with(he leaned towards the latter). Either way, he continued walking down the hallway in silence, clutching the blanket to his chest tightly.

He only stopped again before opening the door to his room, where he knew Hidan and Mei would be sleeping. He took a deep breath and opened the door. This door did not squeak. It opened smoothly and silently, as if welcoming him inside. He stepped past the threshold and straight to his bed, where Hidan lay, curled in a ball, the covers down to his ankles. Kakuzu felt his hearts beat faster just looking at Hidan. His pale hair was a mess on the sheets. The pillow, Kakuzu noticed, had fallen to the floor and had been left there.

Kakuzu felt a pained expression come across his face. His hand automatically went down to Hidan's brow and shifted some of his loose hairs out of the mans face. Hidan's breathing didn't falter. Kakuzu very much wanted to kiss him, the urge was like nothing he'd felt in a long time. That is, until Hidan turned to lay on his back, exposing his pale chest to the dim light from the hallway.

Kakuzu's breath caught in his throat. There is was. So easy it would be, just to take it. Then he would have it forever, Hidan's heart. He felt as if he could live with just that for eternity. He flexed his fingers and began breathing in short rasps. The tips of his fingers brushed Hidan's chest and then Kakuzu flinched as he heard Mei begin to mumble in her sleep. He jerked his hand away from Hidan and moved over to her crib. As he his breathing went back to normal he remembered again why he was doing it. Why he was keeping himself locked in that god-forsaken therapy room. It was for Hidan and Mei. He loved them and he wouldn't hurt them. He also remembered that Mei had been the one to shake him out of his trance the first time. He picked her up and she lay sleeping in his arms as he whispered his thanks quietly to her.

He saw how much bigger she had gotten. Her hair had grown longer and the shape of her face had changed. He noticed how dark her eyelashes were in comparison to her moon-colored hair. When he placed her back in crib he watched as she grabbed a hold of her blanket possessively, and curled into a ball very similar to the one Hidan made.

Kakuzu walked back to the therapy room, shut the door, and lay down. That one little visit was all he needed. He could control himself now. He would stay in the therapy room until his problem was solved. Only then would he go back to his family.

In the morning when Hidan looked into Mei's crib and saw her blanket resting in her small arms he scowled and muttered,

"Hm... I must have just dreamt that I left it..."

* * *

_It is exceptionally odd_, thought Kisame one day,_ How quickly time seems to pass when one is avoiding someone._

He was correct. Time had passed not just quickly, but at the same time slowly. Each second was like the ticking leading up to the moment when you would have to face it, yet when that moment never came, the time just went on. And on, and on, and on...

"I can't believe she's nearly ten months old!" Konan exclaimed as Mei crawled around on the floor, trying to find something to climb up on. She paddled over to Karin and stared up at the spectacled girl until she gave in and picked her up.

"Almost all her teeth have come in." Hidan said unenthusiastically. He was often unenthusiastic.

"Ow!" Karin yelped not a second later. She stared down at her chest and poked at a bite mark muttering,

"Yeah and they're sharp! You sure she's not Kisame's kid?" She added jokingly.

Suigetsu, who was sitting near them made a face, opened his mouth and poked the sharp edge of one of his teeth, then grimaced. No one noticed him do this but they did notice when he stood and began walking away. Sasuke stood and followed him, Juugo instantly doing the same.

"You don't look so good. In fact, you look green, like you're going to throw up."

"I'm fine! Damn, you don't have to be so paranoid." Suigetsu tried to placate as if he was not about to throw up, which had been his intention if they had not followed.

"If you're sick you should go to the infirmary." Sasuke stated smartly.

"If I get sick, i'll be sure to do that!" Suigetsu spat back.

"You're never going to get Samehada if you keep avoiding Kisame. That is what you wanted, isn't it? The reason you agreed to come with me?" Sasuke's eyes narrowed and Juugo felt a tense aura permeate the air as suddenly as if it just blew in the window.

Suigetsu felt the bile form in his throat.

"I'll get the stupid Samehada! Just... I need some time. To- to think about stuff."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "So he raped you. Get over it. If I knew you were this much of a wimp I wouldn't have asked you to come along anyway."

In an instant Suigetsu was on top of Sasuke, Juugo trying to pull them apart. When Suigetsu's attacks became fiercer and Juugo was lost in a tangle of blows he called for help. The closest person just happened to be Kisame. He saw the whole thing go down. He heard it too. He couldn't bring himself to feel insulted. He deserved it. He had raped Suigetsu. He was the reason Suigetsu was angry and sick and depressed. The least he could do was assist in breaking up the fight he basically caused.

He grabbed the back of Suigetsu's jumpsuit, and his hand brushed the back of the boys neck. Suigetsu instantly stopped fighting and shivered. He knew Kisame's skin. It had a unique feel. He turned to look up at Kisame whose face was blank as he said,

"Don't get into fights."

Then dropped Suigetsu on the floor and walked away as Karin rushed over to tend to Sasuke's bleeding lip. Suigetsu rushed to his cell, fell onto his bed, and curled into a ball.

He wouldn't cry though. Demons don't cry. And he was a demon, if nothing else.

* * *

**Eh.... This chapter didn't really resolve anything did it? Ha, ha, ha! Nope!**

**Review my pretties!!!**

**KeikoPanda102**


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34: Rockstar(yes, by Hannah Montana)

"Suigetsu, do you really have to be such an ass?!"

Karin's glare was ignored almost completely by Suigetsu who just sat on the edge of his bed and and stared at the floor. This uncaring attitude just made her angrier and she shouted,

"Sasuke was just trying to be nice! We're worried about you!"

This statement sparked something inside Suigetsu. He lifted his head a little. His voice was rough from lack of use as he asked,

"You were worried about me?"

She flushed and scowled.

"Yeah I guess. Not like a loser like you even deserves my worry! Still, if you don't start acting like yourself soon I'm gonna get really pissed! Who am I supposed to argue with if you won't argue back?"

Suigetsu chuckled without humor. He looked up at her and she regarded him with a hint of suspicion. He wasn't smiling exactly, but his mouth curled upwards and he showed rows of pointed teeth.

"Do you want to cheer me up?"

She furrowed her eyebrows, her eyes slimming beneath her glasses as he continued,

"There are some things girls can do to help cheer a guy like me up..."

Now Karin let her eyes widen as he stood, towering over her with a look of sick, animalistic hunger on his face.

"Well?" He asked as he backed her up against a wall. "What do you say? Will you cheer me up with that pretty body of yours?"

In the next second a hard hand was slammed across his face. Karin was glaring fiercely as she struggled to get away from Suigetsu. He just laughed loudly as he pushed her to the floor.

"T-this isn't funny, Suigetsu! STOP!"

Her glasses got knocked off her face and skidded across the floor. He zipped down her jumpsuit swiftly, before she even noticed it was around her ankles, then completely off her body. As he licked her cheek he growled,

"I'm not a comedian. I'm a criminal. Raping is what I do."

"Dammit!" She screamed as she struggled against his far superior strength. It seemed to her as if the muscles in his arms grew as he pushed her shoulders to the floor and spread her legs. She could barely do anything yet she continued struggling.

He was beginning to get annoyed with her screaming and struggling. He punched her in the gut but that just seemed to make her more feisty. He growled as he bit down and sunk his teeth into the space between her should and neck.

As blood began pouring over her shoulder she stopped moving. He removed his mouth from her skin and looked up. Sure enough she had gone blank. Her eyes were still open, they just stared at the ceiling in shock. He pushed in and she cringed. The blood in his mouth and the way she was behaving sent a fire into him. It was exciting, it seemed as if her blood had given him more energy. She struggled a little but made no more sounds as he forced his way into her body. His grunting filled the room and she whimpered every time he bent down and licked the fresh bite mark on her shoulder.

When he was done he pulled out. The energy he had been exerting dissappeared. The hole in his chest came back, just as thoughts of terrible things flooded his mind. Kisame had been better. He thought he actually liked being on bottom.

She made no movements as he sat next to her, staring at her ravaged body. He groaned and put his head in his hands. After a minute she sat up, her eyes closed. He didn't look at her as he murmured,

"I'm not gonna say I'm sorry... but I'm sorry Kari-"

She cut him off by slapping him flat across his face. Her glare was deep as she locked eyes with him and said,

"You're an ass, you know that? I hope you're proud of yourself!"

She then promptly strutted out of the room holding her jumpsuit in her hand loosely. He stared after her in shock. After a minute he whistled.

"Shit, that girl is tough..."

Her voice floated back to him from the hallway, "Damn right I am, Asshole. Just so you know, If I really didn't want it, you wouldn't have had a chance!"

He snickered, exhaled, and leaned back on the bed. It was then that utter exhaustion and regret sunk in. It hadn't been bad... but it just didn't feel right. For some strange reason he felt as if this incident was going to come back and haunt him...

* * *

Hidan may not have noticed it, but he was changing, just a little bit. It was a slow change, an insignificant change, but it was a change non the less. When Mei had first been born his thoughts stray towards killing her every ten minutes. Now, he rarely thought of it, and when he did he got a sick feeling in his gut. Plus he knew Kakuzu wouldn't forgive him. That in itself, was a change. In the past he would not really have cared if Kakuzu forgave him.

On the other hand, he was praying to Jashin even more. He figured it this way:

He wanted Kakuzu back so they could have sex. This was good for his Jashinism because sex with Kakuzu usually meant some pain. Pain = pleasure. It was really quite simple and efficient when he worked it out that way. There was some nagging fragment of his mind that knew the real reason he wanted Kakuzu back, but he ignored it. Love wasn't really a jashinist thing, though there was no definite rule against it.

There wasn't a definite rule against having sex either. After much thought on Hidan's part(way more than normal), he remembered something from his late childhood:

He was living with Jashinist monks, a group of people that were grudgingly taking care of him after his parents deaths. Sure, there were a few who cared about him, but mostly they were waiting for him to get older so he could become a vessel for Jashin himself. Of course no one told Hidan this to his face. Hidan only found out when one of the Jashinist's had been piss drunk and told him out of sheer stupidity. It didn't really matter, Hidan was happy to be a vessel. The monks let Hidan do anything he wanted, because they did anything they wanted. They drank, they had piercings, they got tattoo's, and they had sex. A lot of it. The only reason Hidan couldn't was because he was the vessel. When they told him not to do something, he listened. Mostly because they were telling him not to what exactly what they did. He didn't mind. He had been around all of them long enough to see that what they were doing was nothing special or interesting.

The sex especially. It all looked very vulgar to him. They weren't shy about it, nor did they try and hide it. There was no mystery left. There was no need for him to be curious about it, and no need to try it himself.

Hidan pondered all this as he sat on the couch in the main room. He was taking a break from sitting in front of the therapy room door. He felt as though Mei was getting bored, and so was he. He let his daughter wander around the couches, her loud breathing alerting him of where she was.

Suddenly, it happened. The real reason Hidan was changing. Mei started crying. Loud, screaming calls of panic. When Mei was just born, she would cry and he would not even realize or remember that it was _his_ baby that was the one crying. Even if he noticed she was upset, more than half the time he had no clue what to do about it. He had been glad when Kakuzu was so good at taking care of her. After Kakuzu went into his reclusion, Hidan needed to be there for Mei more. When she cried now, he came running.

And this cry, this cry was like nothing he had ever heard her do before. It was to get food or attention. It wasn't the cry she made when she needed her diaper changed. It wasn't her little sad cry that she did just for fun. This cry had real pain in it, real terror.

The terror in the cry seemed to transmit to Hidan who flung himself over the couch and search instantly around on the floors for her. She was sitting on the ground screaming and every now and then she would cough a little. He ran over to her just as she leaned forward and cough harder through screams.

"Oh my Jashin..." Hidan muttered as he stared at the floor where she just coughed.

Blood was splattered in watery clumps, some dripping down onto the cement from her face. Her eyes were full of tears. At this moment, they looked as red as her blood.

* * *

**Ehem... This chapter is short because I was bribed with brownies to update it sooner rather than later. No, literally.I'm going to post this then go straight over and get some hot, fresh, chocolaty brownies. **

**Curse you Saraaaaah!!!!**

**Anyway, yeah I kinda just dropped some bombshells.... Hope you enjoy!**

**KeikoPanda102**


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35: I Think We're Alone Now

Hidan pulled open Mei's mouth in an instant. He stuck one finger in just to try and find where the blood could be coming from. It didn't take him long to feel something sharp sticking out from her gum. He tugged on it and, ignoring Mei's screams and more of the blood, pulled out a piece of glass the size of a nickel. She didn't stop screaming as more blood just continued to flow. Hidan was beginning to panic. What if she drowned in her own blood?

"HELP!" He yelled.

The first ones to rush over were unfortunately Zetsu and Tobi, neither of which knew anything about what to do in this situation. Hidan just flicked them off as he picked Mei up, held her on her stomach, and let the rest of the blood pour out of her mouth. He was desperately hoping there was no more glass. He was sure that there was nothing he could do if she swallowed a piece.

After a few minutes it seemed as if the blood flow was decreasing. Hidan took Mei to the bathroom and washed her mouth out well. She cough a lot and her face was tear-stained as Hidan held her up and took a long look at her. She stared back at him, frowning. After a minute she coughed once more as she made a little gurgling sound.

"Is she ok?" Konan asked tentatively.

Hidan jumped a bit and turned around to see almost everyone staring at him and Mei nervously. Tobi and Deidara were bouncing on the balls of their feet while Sasori and Kisame just scowled nervously, a bit unsure as to what they could do.

Hidan held Mei close to him then whispered angrily,

"I need to see Kakuzu."

Konan nodded and glanced towards Pain who blinked once in confirmation. Hidan stood, his legs wobbling a little from his earlier panic over his daughter. A headache pounded in the front of his brain. No one said anything until Zetsu smirked and growled,

"If you really wanna see that piece of shit husband of yours... then we'll make it happen."

The others nodded in agreement. Hidan flashed his signature cocky smile, Mei instantly copying it and giggling in his arms. Pain stepped forward looking determined.

"So here's the plan..."

* * *

"Karin, Suigetsu, Deidara, and Tobi; you all are going to watch Mei."

"Why us?" Suigetsu growled at Kisame.

Kisame avoided his gaze as he replied,

"Because none of you good for anything besides being annoying. And no one likes you."

Tobi gasped. "Is that true? But- but- Tobi is a good-"

"Shut UP, un!" Deidara rolled his eyes as Hidan handed a squirming Mei to him. Mei instantly grabbed onto blonde bangs and pulled fiercely.

Hidan glanced at Karin for a moment and noticed she looked a bit pale.

"You ok?" He asked.

"I just haven't been feeling very well lately." She replied.

Suigetsu's brow twitched and he stared in the opposite direction of them.

"Just don't get Mei sick." Hidan warned.

"Yeah, yeah." she waved him off and grabbed Mei from Tobi and Deidara who were fighting over her. As soon as Kisame and Hidan left Suigetsu sidled over to Karin.

"How come you're sick?"

"Get me some water if you're just standing there." She ignored his question and her tone was harsh as she gave her command.

He rolled his eyes yet still went and got her a glass. He gulped his own water as he handed it to her and she raised an eyebrow.

"You've been drinking more water than usual." she stated.

"So?" he asked. "I'm thirsty."

"Whatever. I think it's got something to do with your Kisame thing."

"W-what does that shark-face have to do with anything?!" he stammered.

She stared at him for a long time, her eyes narrowed in concentration. Finally she flipped her hair back and smirked.

"I think i've got it. I know why you're acting so weird around him."

Suigetsu just rolled his eyes at her again. "Yeah right. You'd never be able to guess..."

"He's your dad, isn't he?"

There was a loud crash as Suigetsu's glass broke into tiny pieces against the floor. Deidara and Tobi stopped their quarreling to glance their way. Karin's face didn't change as Suigetsu's eyes widened and he began shaking. No one uttered a word as they waited for Suigetsu to explode.

Suddenly the silence was broken by Mei's giggling as she stared down at the glass on the floor, reaching out her hands towards it with glee. Her eyes looked the color of clear white as Karin turned her around and stared at her with one raised eyebrow.

"How come you like glass so much? You're gonna kill yourself one of these days but don't you dare do it on my watch! Hidan wold kill me and you know it!"

She stood up and walked out of the room after ordering,

"Tobi, clean that up and stop bothering Deidara."

Suigetsu dropped onto the couch. He was still shaking a little because of what Karin had said. How could she know? What would she do with that information? Did she hate him enough to spread it?

* * *

"Should we do this the easy way, or the hard way?" Kisame asked with a smirk as they stood in front of the therapy room door.

"Hard is always better." Sasori muttered with an equally determined smirk.

Hidan just nodded, his gaze completely focussed on the door. This was it, he wouldn't let Kakuzu get away anymore. Hidan took a deep breath and started thinking about what he would say when he finally got to yell at Kakuzu. He smirked as he pictured himself screaming his frustrations at Kakuzu and the bastard not having anything to say for himself! Hidan chuckled a bit as the door handle creaked on the other side.

"Ready?" Pain asked as they all tensed, preparing for the door to open.

The second Sono stepped out of the room someone covered his eyes and his mouth. He couldn't make a sound as they dragged him down the hallway silently. He didn't panic though. It would only be moments before the guards saw that he was in trouble and came to find him. It wasn't as if he really worried about what happened to himself anyways.

The door was left swinging on it's hinges as the others ran and disappeared around the corner. Hidan took a deep breath and stepped through the opening. He closed the door after him and locked it. He turned around with his eyes closed then slowly opened then, the fluorescent lights burning his eyes.

He was momentarily blinded, not by the lights, but by something else. The smell. The entire room he had just entered smelled exactly like Kakuzu. He hadn't realized until now exactly how important that smell was to him. It was a minty scent, like spearmint, and it was very sanitary, like a doctors office. Kakuzu had been inhabiting this room so much it was absolutely soaked into air. Hidan shivered as he inhaled deeply, trying to get as much of the intense smell as he unless he was forced to be away from it for too long. His mind was in complete calm, that is, until Kakuzu's voice broke it,

"Hidan?"

Hidan forced his eyes open and saw Kakuzu sitting on a white bed on the far side of the room. It was the same place that he'd always seen Kakuzu sitting when he'd been waiting outside the door. This time though, Kakuzu was sitting on the white mattress with his arm sliced open, a deep looking wound was embedded in the area right above his wrist. Hidan's eyes widened as he backed up against the door.

"K- Kakuzu what the HELL!? What the fuck did you do?"

"It's nothing." Kakuzu muttered scowling, "What are you doing here?"

Hidan's face went from surprise to anger in a flash. Kakuzu almost missed it if not for Hidan rushing across the room and nearly tripping. He stood up clumsily as Kakuzu simply watching him with wary eyes. He glanced at the door every few seconds, hoping that Sono or a guard would return and remove Hidan from his sights. When no one came and Hidan simply got closer to him he began to panic.

He completely forgot about his arm until Hidan shouted,

"Why are you acting like there isn't a giant Jashin damn hole in your arm!?!"

"Huh?" Kakuzu asked, then glanced down and remembered. "Oh yeah."

He began sowing it up swiftly right before Hidan's eyes.

"Just had it open for a little experiment."

"AN EXPERIMENT!? WHAT KIND OF EXPERIMENTS MAKE YOU CUT YOUR ARM OPEN!?"

Kakuzu sighed. "I used to do it all the time. It's no big deal. It's how I got all the scars."

"It's fucking stupid is what it is!!!"

"Hidan, I believe I have told you this before but... Shut up."

"NO! I'm not gonna fucking shut up until you at least tell me why the hell you even need this messed up tests and experiments done to you!!! You look fine! What's your damn problem?"

"Leave Hidan." Kakuzu ordered quietly. "I'm not telling you anything. If I wanted you to know, I would have told you already."

At his words the color drained from Hidan's face. He glared for a minute as if trying to find something to say. Finally he looked down and muttered,

"Fine. I guess you don't want to see your daughter or me any more. It's fine. We can take care of ourselves. Not like she swallowed a piece of glass today or anything."

"What?" Kakuzu asked in a worried tone. "Is she ok?"

"Maybe I just won't tell you." Hidan replied, his eyes glinting.

Kakuzu looked down, his breathing coming faster and faster as he thought about the possibilities. He glanced at Hidan, who was smirking, and noticed no tell tale signs of worry or grief. He calmed down. Hidan would be upset if Mei was actually in trouble.

"Is that what you came to tell me? That Mei swallowed glass but you saved her? I'm glad you can do something without my help."

Hidan faltered. His confidence diminished at being struck down from his blackmail platform. He glared, his anger returning.

"There was blood everywhere! I didn't even know what to do! What if she had died? You don't even know what she looks like now! She's got all her teeth, her hair is longer, and her eyes are still changing colors, but you wouldn't know what color they are now! She's gonna grow up without you, or maybe even die because I won't be able to save her next time! You are a fucking horrible father and a dick!"

He was breathing hard after his rant and his chest, still visible because Hidan refused to zip up his jumpsuit, was rising and falling in quick session. Kakuzu let his eyes wander down to this pale, soft chest. He noticed the small burn he had made and felt a yearning for Hidan; to hold him in his arms, to make him cry throughout the night, to never let him go, to rip his heart out and have it forev- NO! He shook himself and stood up violently.

Hidan jumped at Kakuzu's sudden action. He watched Kakuzu pace around to the complete opposite side of the room and sit down on a chair. He let his head drop into his hands as he murmured,

"Leave Hidan. I'm doing all this for you and Mei, I promise."

Hidan ran over and knelt down in front of Kakuzu. Kakuzu groaned and looked the other direction. Hidan growled in fury,

"How can you lie like that you piece of shit? You aren't doing it for me and Mei! If you want to do something for us then just come back! Get your ass out of this retarded room and sleep with me again dammit! I miss you!"

Such sentimental words cut deeper into Kakuzu's fear. Fear that one day Hidan wouldn't want him anymore, or would get bored of him and cheat, or that someone else would take Hidan's heart away from him. No! He wouldn't let that happen. If there was one thing e would never do, it would be allowing himself to lose Hidan's heart.

He needed to be sure, 100% positive that there was no chance in hell Hidan could abandon him in any way. He needed proof, solid, living, _breathing_ proof. He needed it. He needed to see it. He needed to feel it. Hidan's heart, and therefor, Hidan's love for him. He needed it.

He glanced to his right. There was a small scalpel sitting right there, on a side table. It was already covered in blood, his blood, from when he had cut his arm open earlier.

It all clicked together in his mind. There was the knife, there was Hidan, and here he was. He needed it. He would have it.

* * *

**SORRY SORRY SORRY!! I'm sorry it took me so long for this chapter! GOD DAMN have I been distracted! GAH! ok, hopefully the next chapter will be posted sooner!**

**I love you all, especially reviewers, as always!**

**KeikoPanda102**


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36: Only the Good Die Young

Kakuzu narrowed his eyes and fixed them intently on Hidan. Now he had a new goal, instead of trying his hardest to get Hidan to leave, he needed him to stay. It wasn't a difficult task, all Kakuzu had to do was use his master conniving skills. He was a business man after all.

He lowered himself to look into Hidan's face seductively. Hidan blushed, but didn't look away. In his head he told himself it was just because he hadn't seen Kakuzu in a while. Kakuzu smirked and stood up, pulling Hidan by his jumpsuit with him. He then quickly turned and sat Hidan down in his chair. After thinking about it for a moment he picked Hidan up and tossed him casually onto a tabletop.

"Hey-!" Hidan exclaimed before Kakuzu caught him in a heart wrenching kiss.

Surprisingly, it seemed to have more effect on Kakuzu than Hidan. Yes, it did take Hidan's breath away. He grabbed the back of Kakuzu's jumpsuit and pulled him closer. He gasped into the kiss with excitement and surprise. He felt a jolt in his soul at being reunited with his soul-mate. But Kakuzu on the other hand, felt his entire body relax. Nothing seemed to matter when his tongue slid in place between Hidan's soft lips.

The second he pulled away though, he tensed again and a frown placed itself on his face. Hidan's eyes were glazed over in a sort of content, dreamy way that made Kakuzu even more sure of the fact that he needed to keep that look away from anyone else. Hidan's heart would belong to him and only him.

He pressed one hand firmly on Hidan's pounding chest.

Ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum! Hidan's heart was beating unbelievably fast, like bullets. Every little thump was like an electric shock that flowed into Kakuzu through his fingers and sent irresistible impulses to his brain. He pressed his hand down onto the pale, flat chest harder, Hidan gasped a little, the touch was suddenly not as loving as he had thought.

Kakuzu kept Hidan silent with his eyes while he reached over to the small table and picked up the scalpel inconspicuously. Kakuzu was now pressing so hard on Hidan's chest that the Jashinist began panting with his mouth open while struggling to sit up. This just made Kakuzu press down harder.

Hidan saw a flash of silver then he choked.

"K-Kakuzu, what the f-fuck are you doing you- you insane-!"

"Shut up, Hidan." Kakuzu whispered as he drew a line on Hidan's chest in an 'X' shape directly over his heart with his fingers.

When he placed the scalpel over the area of skin he planned to cut he heard Hidan breathe out faintly,

"Just tell me why!"

Kakuzu paused, glancing into Hidan's eyes, eyes that glowed of confusion and raw curiosity. He slowly replied,

"It's simple. I'm afraid of living without you. I need you to belong to me for eternity, and the only way I can do that is to take your heart and keep it with me forever, that way there is no chance of it ever deserting me. I'm going to cut your heart out and kill you..."

He didn't even noticed Hidan's widening eyes as he furrowed his brow in concentration.

_Kill?_ He thought, _I'm going to... kill... Hidan...? Yes,_ he assured himself,_ to get his heart I have to kill him. Dead... never going to see him again... Gone... Killed.... _He struggled for a moment or two then finally his hand trembled and he dropped the scalpel, backing away from Hidan as he did so. He held his head in his hands and said gruffly,

"Leave! Hidan you've got to get out of here."

Hidan did nothing of the sort. He lifted himself off of the table and stood staring at Kakuzu seeming to be in deep thought. After a minute he muttered with a very bewildered expression on his face,

"You... want my heart? _That_ is what this entire fucking episode is about?! My fucking Jashin damn _heart_?! Are you fucking stupid? You moron, idiot, asshole, douche-bag, retard! You really think you need _**MY**_ heart! MINE?! You are so stupid! I can't believe you!"

Kakuzu didn't look up, but listened to Hidan's words in awe. Hidan's breathing grew heavier as he ranting continued,

"You locked yourself in this shitty room for _months_, doing all kinds of gay-ass tests on yourself, not even bothering to tell me what the hell you were doing! Not even caring what the fuck happened to your daughter! All this ridiculous fucking shit for no good reason except you _wanted my heart?_"

Kakuzu's breathing grew steadier and he had strength enough to try and mutter,

"Hidan, you don't get-"

"Shut! Up!" Hidan screamed, his voice cracking under his intense rage, "You're the one who doesn't _fucking_ get it,_ dick!_ Shut the hell up and let me explain it to you clearly so you can get it through that thick-ass skull of yours! You can't take my fucking hear because..."

He took a deep breath so that when he opened his mouth again he could scream without restraint,

"_You already have it! Dumbass!_"

Kakuzu felt every single one of his hearts stop in that second. He looked at Hidan and it seemed as if some heavenly light was shining down onto him, despite him wearing such an angry expression. Kakuzu could not do anything, he couldn't move, and he couldn't speak. He just stood there, shocked, wondering how he had not thought of it before. Now that he heard the words come out of Hidan's loud mouth it all seemed so clear, it was wonderful.

Hidan became impatient as Kakuzu continued to ignore him. He felt frustrated that his honest answer was not enough. He thought of one last desperate attempt as the scalpel still gleamed on the floor.

He lunged for it, backing up against the wall and holding it dramatically to his chest. His breathing was heavy as angry tears began to leak out of his eyes and he said,

"I guess that isn't enough for someone like you! FINE! Have my heart if it's so important to you, you dick! Take it! If you aren't there, there isn't any point in me having a heart anyways! You already have the real thing, but if you need to see to believe then here-!"

Kakuzu grabbed Hidan's hand and forcibly removed the instrument, tossing it straight across the room and out of sight. He then held Hidan's hand tight in his own as the weaker struggled to break away from him. He laughed.

"Stop it, Hidan. I get it now, I get it. I already have your heart, just like you have mine. All of mine."

Hidan pounded on Kakuzu's chest weakly.

"You're an asshole! You left me for all this time. You're a dick. You're a douche-bag, lowlife, scum, fucking loser! Why do I love you anyway dammit?! I don't even get it."

Being the wonderful seme that he is, Kakuzu found a quick and easy resolution to all of Hidan's griefs.

One small kiss, chin lifted lightly so lips touch in a soft embrace. A comfortable warmth spread through Hidan and he melted as Kakuzu pulled a hand through his soft, frazzled hair. Hidan slowly lifted his arms to rest on Kakuzu's shoulders as he pulled him closer and deepened the kiss. Kakuzu responded by forcing his tongue inside and just as slowly sliding his hands to rest possessively on Hidan's hips. They felt right there, like he should always have his hand somewhere on Hidan, and they felt especially good on his firm, thin waist. Soon he was pushing Hidan against the wall and using his hands to unzip the jumpsuit, letting it fall off like an extra, unneeded layer of skin. Hidan moaned into his mouth as Kakuzu felt a bulge grow in his lovers groin.

They both knew that eventually they must break their kiss, but in all the world neither could think of one think they wanted to do less. They got air when they broke apart for tiny milliseconds to nibble each other's lips or switch sides of the kiss. Finally they found themselves on the floor.

Kakuzu broke the kiss, just so he could place his mouth along Hidan's neck, moving down and down towards his rigid nipples. Hidan's voice cracked so much it sounded to Kakuzu like he had just gotten a cold. Even so, Hidan couldn't help but yell from the ways Kakuzu was touching him, licking him, and holding him.

"Put it in!" Hidan croaked through teary eyes as he held fast to Kakuzu's arms. Kakuzu just nodded, wanting the same thing as Hidan.

He reached his fingers around to begin preparing Hidan but Hidan shuffled away from the digits and towards Kakuzu's cock, shaking his head in annoyance.

"We haven't done it in a while, if I don't prepare you it'll-"

Hidan just shook his head harder, using what should have been the last of his legible voice to whisper into Kakuzu's ear,

"I fucked myself, thinking about you... every night."

Kakuzu froze. He pulled Hidan's hips towards him as he nibbled on his earlobe and replied,

"If you don't quit stopping my heart, one of these days you're going to kill me..."

Hidan just smiled as Kakuzu half picked him up and lowered him onto his thick manhood. Hidan moaned in appreciation as he was filled. He wrapped his arms around Kakuzu's back and held tight onto him. Kakuzu did the same, encompassing Hidan in warmth and frightening strength. Kakuzu waited a few seconds, then he thrust once.

"No!" Hidan yelled faintly. Kakuzu instantly stopped as Hidan pulled himself even closer to his lover's body. "Don't move... for a while. I don't want it to end fast..."

Kakuzu obeyed, he knew how Hidan felt. They were making up for lost time. He didn't move, and buried his face in Hidan's neck and shoulder, placing gentle, non-sexual kisses along the smooth skin. Each kiss was like an apology, causing Hidan to relax even more, and grow even more forgiving towards Kakuzu. They stayed there, Kakuzu inside of Hidan, for a while, simply being with each other. There was not a lot of pressure. They both wanted it badly, but they felt as if they didn't really need it, until Hidan finally squeezed his arms a bit and clenched his muscles.

Kakuzu hissed, adding one tiny thrust to jolt Hidan into fierce lust. Still, they took it slow. Kakuzu fondled Hidan's member as he pumped his own in and out in rhythmic motions. He found Hidan's prostate after a while, and Hidan arched his back silently, fingers digging into Kakuzu's skin.

Kakuzu went as deep as he could, slowly, relishing every second he could feel Hidan's being so clearly. He had never had sex like this before. It barely seemed like sex, it was like a magic spell, sent over them, turning them into some past form of themselves, as if they knew each other in another life, as if they were destined, as if nothing could change or harm that destiny.

As much as Hidan loved being toyed with, and fucked roughly, this was different. This was special and he wanted to savor it. Every thing was out on the table. They were in love, beyond the point of comprehension. As Kakuzu repeatedly sent him into heaven he knew that this was not the kind of sex where they would go ten rounds after this first one. This was the kind of sex that was single and perfect and amazing in every way. He let himself feel everything as if it were the last thing he would ever feel, and when he finally felt he was about to come, it really seemed that way.

As Kakuzu filled him and he spilled his seed over both of their chests, he didn't care that Kakuzu was holding him so tightly he was almost suffocating him, because he knew he was probably doing the same. It added to the feelings and the pleasures.

As soon as he was done, he collapsed forward, instead of back, so he could rest leaning onto Kakuzu for support, still holding him as tightly as his tired muscles would let him. Kakuzu didn't pull out for some time, but when he did, Hidan was long asleep. He gently leaned down and paced one small kiss on Hidan's - no, _his - _heart. because it was his. It would always be his. He knew that now.

* * *

**WELL! HEEHEE! Finally got this done. Damn, this is the first lemon i've done in a long time. How was it, I haven't lost my touch, right? XD**

**KeikoPanda102!**


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37: How Do You Sleep?

"God dammit!" screamed one of the stupider inmates as he sat around a table with a few of his friends. "I'm sick and fucking tired of this shit! We are _criminals _in_prison_ and not only are their a butt-load of sexy-ass guys here, there are girls. _Two _girls. Why the hell do we have to be fucking abstinent or fuck each other when we could really have the pick of the litter, because we are stronger than them and we can actually _rape_ them. I don't think it would be real difficult. Who's with me?!"

All of his friends turned away quickly and pretended to have nothing to have nothing to do with him. He just glared at their backs and smirked at Karin out of the corner of his eyes. She made a face, swished her hair, then walked out the door.

Very soon after this incident, this inmate was transferred out of Kure-Ji-Kira.

"I'm a little nervous for Mei, un, being in here with all these guys..." Deidara muttered one evening as he stacked random objects in tiny towers that Mei crawled happily over to and promptly knocked down. Tobi, who was helping build towers and seemed almost as excited as Mei added,

"Tobi too! I saw Hidan changing her diaper the other day and you know what-!" His voice turned to a whisper as if he were about to spill some deadly secret, "_She doesn't have a pee-pee!_"

Deidara stared at him for a moment then just rolled his eyes. Kakuzu bent down to place Mei bak on her stomach as she had just flipped over on her back and gotten stuck. He said,

"Are you insinuating that I would let anything bad happen to my daughter? Because I would never, _ever_ let any of these filthy criminals touch her."

Deidara just held up his hands in defeat. Hidan glanced off to the side and muttered,

"I'm not worried about her either. I'm gonna teach her to be tough, no child of mine's gonna be a weak little pussy, even if she is a girl. Any ass-hole guy tries to touch her, she'll break his neck!"

"What about friends though?" Sasori asked thoughtfully. "It's not like there are any toddler criminals in here for her to play with. She might get lonely."

"Hm..." Hidan hummed. He hadn't thought of that. He just assumed all the other Akatsuki members would play with her. But really she would need some company her own age or she'd turn out weird.

"We should have another kid." Kakuzu said flatly.

"Hell no." Hidan glared.

Kakuzu just stared at him monotonously and said, "Yeah, I don't even know if we could. Orochimaru being dead and all."

"You could always ask Kabuto." Karin said as she walked over to them and sat down next to Tobi. "He was always in charge of Orochimaru's weird projects anyway."

"You all are speaking about Kabuto? Why?" Pain suddenly asked, even though he wasn't paying attention before.

"Kakuzu wants to have another kid so Mei won't be lonely and they want to see if Kabuto's got more of that chemical." Sasori answered.

"You might get the chance." Pain muttered darkly. "Word on the street is he's been up to some shady stuff. He could be caught any day now. You know he'd get tossed in here."

"Perfect." Kakuzu smirked.

"Does no one fucking listen to me!? HELL NO means HELL NO. I'm not doing that shit again man. NO." Hidan yelled. Mei stared up at him then started giggling every time he yelled louder. Konan bent down and picked her up, Mei instantly getting distracted by simply staring back and forth between Konan and Deidara.

"You know what I read online the other day, un? Babies stare longer at beautiful people." Deidara said as he smiled.

"That's probably why she never looks at Karin." Suigetsu smirked as he sauntered over to them with Juugo behind him.

Karin glared daggers then replied, "I wasn't too ugly for you the other n-" Suigetsu cut her off by clasping his hand over her mouth and dragging her off to the other side of the room. No one seemed to notice this except Kisame who often found himself keeping one eye on his son subconsciously. It had become a habit he just couldn't break. He scowled a bit though he was more surprised than angry at the possible meaning behind Karin's words and Suigetsu's actions. Deep down Kisame hoped that maybe starting a relationship with someone else might distract Suigetsu from... everything.

On the other side of the room Karin grew angry with Suigetsu and nearly slammed him against the wall.

"_Don't_ manhandle me. I'm not in the mood."

"Don't go fucking telling everyone what... we did." Suigetsu growled at her.

"You mean don't tell everyone what _you_ did? Look, it's gonna come out sooner or later so you should just get over yourself."

"Why the hell would it come out? It was just a one time thing! It's not like a want you as my girlfriend or anything." He made a face and they exchanged glares. Finally she sighed and muttered,

"Look, it's gonna come out, trust me. I don't want you as my boyfriend either so it's no big deal." She suddenly scowled and said, "Also, you might think you used me, but I was really he one using you, so don't get a big head."

He looked taken aback. "How did you use me? I didn't even, you know, think you enjoyed it."

"I didn't." She answered snarkily. "I just... Don't worry about it ok. Don't worry about anything having to do with me. Don't you have your own problems? I see you haven't worked it out with your father-"

"Shut up, bitch!" he hissed.

She just smirked and walked away. He leaned up against the wall and pouted.

"Man, screw her! I don't even like girls..."

"Oh really?" Kisame asked as he looked down at Suigetsu casually. "Don't tell me that was my fault."

Suigetsu blushed then felt the sudden and faint need to throw up. He looked away, leaving Kisame with a warm feeling of accomplishment at the fact that even after everything, he could still make the kid blush.

"It wasn't your fault. She's just a whore that's all."

"The sex wasn't good?" Kisame asked, joy filling him because Suigetsu was finally talking to him again.

Suigetsu shuffled his feet a bit. "It wasn't really... I was upset and I... I do kind feel bad but I mean- She coulda stopped me if she really wanted to so it was all her fault!"

"You raped her?" Kisame asked incredulously.

"No!" was Suigetsu's only retort.

Kisame laughed his rough, gurgle of a laugh then muttered,

"Yeah, she doesn't seem pissed off enough for you to have raped her. She's the kinda chick who woulda skinned your ass alive."

"You think?" Suigetsu asked nervously. "Then how come she hasn't? She said it wasn't good and stuff but... Dammit! I don't get women!"

Kisame almost had the nerve to reach down and ruffle Suigetsu's soft, opal hair, but he faltered. He was finally getting somewhere with Suigetsu, and he didn't want to ruin it. He decided to walk away while muttering,

"Nobody gets women, not even women."

Suigetsu looked after him, surprising himself when he felt a bit sad that their pleasant conversation had to end. He stood up to go hang out with Juugo who looked a bit nervous at being left alone.

* * *

"I'll make you a deal." Sono said slyly as he faced Kabuto in the dark corner of a dirty alleyway. "If you give up now, I'll take _it_ too."

Kabuto snarled. "You're just like your brother! I hope you die the same way!" He spat towards Sono, who just smirked.

"Whatever. Look, this deal only lasts ten days ok. Think about it. What would your precious Lord Orochimaru do?"

Kabuto's angry expression flickered and he glanced behind him for a moment. Sono just sighed, internally wondering how his brother ever did it all. He didn't let his doubt or fear show on his face as he turned from Kabuto and said,

"Think about it this way, you can get your revenge on the Uchiha brat."

Sono began to walk away, motioning for his two guards to follow. Sono walked slowly, just like his brother had taught him. When he heard Kabuto shout,

"Wait!"

He knew that it worked. It always worked. His brother was a genius after all. A genius at the art of convincing people. He turned around, barely keeping the smile on his face as he asked,

"Yes?"

Kabuto held something in his arms carefully as he hung his head and muttered,

"I'll go. Take us to Kure-Ji-Kira."

Sono smirked.

"I'm sure your friends will have a nice welcome for you."

* * *

**Attention:**

**Ok, so the thing about babies staring at pretty people longer, I really did hear that, and I think it's true! I'll tell you why: It's because right now there is a small little girl, 8 months old, who lives with me and NEVER STOPS STARING AT ME. lol. It's very cute. She giggles every time I enter the room and if I leave she screams. Anyway, I just like the think its true cuz it boosts my self-asteem. **

**Also, YES, the little girl in my house right now is 100% the inspiration for Mei. just FYI. a lot of the things Mei is going to do are probably things the baby in my house has done to me. **

**Thanks for reading! Things are about to get real strange up in the story, just a warning! Review!**

**KeikoPanda102!**


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38: Drunken Sailor

"Now, Naruto, is it?" Sono asked as he faced a determined looking blonde across from him. All of a sudden Naruto's expression changed to confusion.

"Y-you don't remember me?" He asked warily.

"Oh!" Sono said with comprehension. "I'm sorry, you must think I'm... my brother. My name is Sono Yamada, my brother was... murdered and I took over for him."

"Ok." Naruto said as he scowled nervously again.

Sono waited for him to speak but when Naruto said nothing and just glanced around the office he muttered, "What can I do for you today?"

Naruto took a deep breath and his eyes seemed to glimmer with fierce determination.

"I want Sasuke."

"Uchiha? What do you want him for? You know he's a criminal, possibly deranged, and a murderer. He killed his own-"

"I know all that already! I still want him back. He didn't do anything really bad. That pervert Orochimaru is better off dead and... Itachi... well he... he kinda wanted to die. So! You have to let Sasuke go! I promise i'll look after him! I'm asking nicely but I'll do anything to get him back!" With the look on Naruto's face, Sono believed every word.

"Only if he wants to leave." Sono replied, knowing Sasuke would never willingly go with his blonde mate.

"Dammit." Naruto cursed. He looked thoughtful then. After a little while he exhaled deeply from his nose and started saying slowly,

"What if... what if I went to him instead?"

Sono tilted his head to the side, curious as to what this person could be thinking.

"Inside the prison?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Cuz I love him."

The answer was so fast and so meaningful that Sono was instantly taken aback. He leaned back in his chair and stared at Naruto for a few minutes. After that he just looked down at some papers on his desk and muttered,

"I cannot bring anyone into Kure-Ji-Kira that is not a qualifiable insane criminal. We don't have a lot of money or budget anyway. It just won't work."

Naruto growled. "I promise you I'm not innocent. I've killed people, and I have an alter ego. Isn't that enough?"

"Do you really? Why would you admit to that? Do you want to go to prison that badly? What is this alter ego's name anyway?"

"Nine tails." Naruto answered instantly. He also seemed to shiver and his appearance darkened just bringing up the name.

"I see." Yamada replied. "I will think about it. You would have to give a lot up though. Kure-Ji-Kira means for life. You would never be free again."

"But i'd be with Sasuke." Naruto said firmly.

"Yes."

"I'll do anything. Sasuke needs me, and I need him."

"I'll think about it. You will know if I come to get you, because it will be unpleasant and rough. Possibly painful."

Naruto just nodded.

"You can go now."

Naruto nodded once more as he walked out. He was shaking, but no tears fell down his face(AND HE DIDN'T FUCKING PASS OUT! WTF?)*.

* * *

Hidan stood bent over a table, trying to find a certain page of his Jashinist bible. His concentration is very strong but then suddenly he feels something clamp onto the back of his ankle.

"Eep!" he shrieked as he jumped up and over about five feet. He then noticed Mei starting to cry on the ground behind him and he inhaled deeply. He knelt down next to her and shook his head.

"Don't scare me like that kid! Hey, wasn't Kisame looking after you?"

"Sorry, sorry!" Kisame growled as he rushed over to them and picked Mei up swiftly. "She's fast as a damn cat, I can't keep up. She sneaky too! Not real quiet though..."

"NYAAAAH!" She sounded as if to prove his point.

"At least her weird growling is better than crying and shit." Hidan muttered.

Kisame just shrugged then asked, "Where is Kakuzu anyway, how come he's not looking after this little monster?"

"He's doing some kinda deal. Who knows? But yeah, could you look after her for a little while longer? I'm trying to get some fucking christmas chit going before it's too late."

Kisame stood dumbstruck for a minute before he starting laughing his head off, along with Mei who began cooing and giggling as well.

"Christmas!" Kisame exclaimed through gasps, "What about Jashinmas?"

"Shuuut up!" Hidan growled as a blush rose in his cheeks. "Christmas aint about religion! I'm bored and I want to get people presents and stuff, is that so hard to believe dammit?"

"Guess not." Kisame smirked as Mei wiggled her arms and legs ferociously in his arms. Kisame glanced back over to the couches were he was before Mei had crawled away and was surprised to see Suigetsu sitting on them, seemingly waiting for Kisame to return. Mei noticed as well and reached out one hand towards Suigetsu gleefully. Hidan noticed this and made a interested face.

"He talkin' to you again?"

Kisame sighed. "I don't know. It's a day by day thing with him."

"What the hell happened anyway?" Hidan asked.

Kisame just shrugged and, feeling a bit nervous as to where the conversation was going, walked away from Hidan and back towards Suigetsu. When he got there he hesitated for a moment until Suigetsu glanced up at him. He then smiled slyly before handing Mei over to a surprised Suigetsu. She giggled happily and began reaching to grab a hold of his lower lip like she was gonna pull it off.

"She's going for the teeth. She does it to me too." Kisame said as he sat down in the chair opposite Suigetsu.

"O- oh." Suigetsu mumbled shyly. "She's kinda cute I guess- Wah!"

Mei started to wiggle out of his arms and onto the floor. When Suigetsu wouldn't let go of her she turned to him and glared. He faltered for a moment then let her drop to the ground. She instantly perked up and tried crawling back to Hidan.

"Stop her!" Kisame said hastily.

Suigetsu's eyes widened then he jumped up and sat, legs spread, between two couches, preventing Mei from going past. For a second she looked like she was about to cry, but then Kisame placed a small rattle on the ground next to her and she smiled, instantly picking it up and shoving it in her mouth. Soon slobber was running down her face and she was more than distracted.

"A lot to handle, isn't she?" Kisame joked.

Suigetsu looked away as he muttered, "Mom said I was a tough baby too, always getting into trouble."

"Really?" Kisame asked. "I can see that."

Suigetsu didn't say anything for a few moments and they both stared at Mei silently. Then after a while he muttered,

"I was thinking about it, and I decided there's at least one good thing about you being my..."

"Dad?" Kisame added.

"Yeah." Suigetsu replied.

"What's good about it?" The elder shark asked.

Suigetsu smirked. "You can give me Samehada as an inheritance."

Kisame chuckled. "I was gonna give it to you anyway. I don't care if it's in a fatherly way or any other way but I like you. The one good thing about you being my son is that at least you're a son I can be proud of."

Suigetsu didn't reply but Kisame could see his face grow redder.

"You do realize you are proud of a son who is in prison for life at age 16?"

Kisame just laughed.

On the other side of the room Karin smiled. She was happy for them that they were getting along. She also liked how sweetly Suigetsu was treating Mei. So NO, she was not as heartless of a slutty bitch as everyone seemed to think. Karin had feelings too. In that one moment Suigetsu had started raping her she understood something somehow.

She suddenly felt her headache return and she wanted to sit down. She sat on a bench and put her feet up as she did. They were really starting to hurt, the headache wasn't helping anything. Konan saw her and decided to go sit next to her.

"How's it going, girl?" Konan asked, then she laughed. "I said that to Deidara once, he nearly blew my head off."

Karin smiled then grimaced.

"Konan are we friends?" She asked.

Konan was a bit taken aback by this question but she just shrugged and nodded. "Sure."

"I really need to tell someone..." Karin muttered quickly under her breath. "Come here." She started dragging Konan towards the tiny girls shower and bath room.

"I had sex with Suigetsu." She said hastily.

Konan's eyes widened then she laughed. "Is that all? I'm glad! I knew you guys had all that sexual tension going on between you. Then again I kinda thought he liked Kisame even though they were having that weird fight. So how was-"

"That's not it." Karin cut her off. She started zipping down her jumpsuit until finally a small bulge showed as her stomach did. Konan gasped.

"I'm three months." Karin explained as she covered herself back up.

"It's too late for an abortion then!" Konan said nervously.

"I... I know. I've known that. It's ok. I'm ok with it. I just don't know how to tell-"

"Suigetsu." Konan finished for her.

"Yeah. You think he'll flip?"

"Totally." Konan replied.

Karin sighed. "I'm just going to keep waiting then. I don't know how much longer I can-"

She was cut off suddenly by a loud,

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO MY BABY?!"

Both Karin and Konan heard a very unfavorable tone in Hidan's voice that made then glance at each other nervously and run back into the main room. They entered the same time as Kakuzu and they all saw the problem at the same moment.

Hidan was in the middle of the room, holding Mei as blood once again covered her face.

* * *

**Ehem. Ok. so, yeah cliffhanger. And I finally answered the question you all kept asking. Karin = preggo. (OMG, lookit the fast update!!!)**

*** Because in the last chapter of Naruto, Naruto embarrassed himself and every one of his fans by passing out. No, seriously, he hyperventilated. Just as Sasuke-DOUCHEBAG was kicking some ass, he passed out into the snow. Because he was overwhelmed. By emotion. I really hope there was some decent point behind him fainting, cuz if not, it's just really embarrassing. **

**I think that's all I was gonna say... besides of course: Review. **

**TTFN XD**

**KeikoPanda102**


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39: Ok, It's Alright With Me

"It actually doesn't look so bad." Sasori muttered thoughtfully.

"It gives her character, un!" Deidara said after Sasori.

"I like it." Konan nodded approvingly.

"It makes her looks like a pirate or something!" Tobi laughed.

"She looks too much like her Dad now." Zetsu joked.

"Just shut up. All of you." Kakuzu sighed as he picked Mei up and took her away from her crowd. She pouted for a minute then saw that they were heading towards Hidan.

"Hidan, stop trying to murder Kisame and Suigetsu." Kakuzu ordered faintly.

Hidan glared playfully at him. "These sons of bitches obviously weren't watching her closely enough or this kinda shit wouldn't have happened."

His eyes suddenly find Mei and he frowns. "That's the best you can do?"

"Unfortunately. She's probably going to have it forever too. It was a really deep wound, straight through the cheek. We're lucky she didn't get her eye."

Hidan sighed. "Damn child and her obsession with sharp objects! I will NOT forgive her if she dies! I will make Jashin smite her soul!"

Mei began to cry in Kakuzu's arms as if she understood what Hidan was saying. He instantly felt bad and reached out to hold her and apologize. Then he turned back to Kisame and Suigetsu who were staying silent on the ground and glared before walking away. Kakuzu watched him go then when he turned to the two men on the ground he was smiling.

"I kinda like it, i'll admit." he said cheerfully.

"Of course you do, she looks like you." Kisame murmured as he stood up.

"Just a little. Besides I agree with Deidara, it gives her character. Just don't tell Hidan I said so." Kakuzu said back. He then walked back over to Hidan and traced the fresh scar on her face with one finger. It was directly below her left eye, almost an inch and a half long. Kakuzu had used the same thread he himself used on all his scars to sow it up, and her scar looked a lot like one of his. He smiled.

"At least she's alive." He said to Hidan smartly.

Hidan pouted then sighed. "Yeah I guess. Dammit! I can't do anything without her getting lost or hurt! This is retarded."

"How about we get a playpen?" Kakuzu asked.

"Yeah." Hidan replied sarcastically. "That'd keep her in. She's not just fast and strong and stuff, she smart as hell too. She's like Ninja baby."

"Mwappaaaa!!!" She cried suddenly then giggled.

"I think ninjas are quieter. Maybe Monster baby."

* * *

Later that night Konan and Pein were about to go to bed when Konan said,

"Nagato, can I tell you something?"

"Sure." he replied emotionlessly.

"Karin's pregnant."

"Really? With whose child?"

"Suigetsu's, but he doesn't know."

Pein laughed suddenly. "You're gossiping Konan."

"I know! I know! I just can't keep this to myself and I'm only telling you because..."

Her voice trailed off and Pein grew curious. He looked at her with gray, spinning eyes and she smiled.

"I'm tired of waiting. I want a baby too."

Pein's eyes grew wide for a moment then he scowled.

"You mean you want to have a baby with this body."

Konan flinched and scowled herself.

"No! Stop twisting my words! I- I love all of you Nagato! I don't care which body-"

"Then why Yahiko's, huh?" Pein replied sharply.

"It's not like that! I-"

"I told you before Konan, we can have a child once we're out of here, and we're finally together, the real us." he said calmly.

"I don't have all that time! I will grow old and you won't-"

"Are you even insinuating that I would stop loving you if you grew older or couldn't have my child? I'm not that shallow Konan."

Konan started to sob. "I just... It's not fair! I miss you so much Nagato, you have no idea..."

"Konan..." Pein muttered then lifted her chin up to lock his eyes with hers. She smiled through her tears.

"I love looking into your eyes, because I feel like I can really see you then, nobody else, just Nagato..." She said softly.

"Please Konan. Please wait for me then. The real me. Please."

She nodded. "Of course."

* * *

Sasuke sat in a corner of his room. The edge of the bunk bed, facing the wall. He was feeling depressed(emo more like). He couldn't think straight. He felt that there was absolutely nothing he needed to do in life. No purpose. He couldn't think of anything.

Life in Kure-Ji-Kira wasn't hell. It was a bit better than out in the real world. He was contained. He was separate from people in the prison. He didn't have to face anyone. He didn't have to shame his horrible mistake. He didn't have to keep going on, keep fighting more and more people to keep the trail of revenge flowing. It was done. He ended it. Just like Itachi wanted him to do(Because if Sasuke-douchebag's gonna be in any of my stories, he's gonna be less of a douchebag).

But what now? Itachi didn't give him any instructions on what to do next. Was he just supposed to go on living? How had Itachi done it? After everything, how had Itachi kept the will to live still burning in his heart?

Sasuke suddenly thought of Kisame, the man Itachi was apparently having sex with. Was that it, then? Sex? Was that his brothers reason for living? Did it really keep him alive?

Sasuke let the tears flow in the darkness.

"Are you thinking about your brother?" a voice asked lightly from the doorway.

"You!" Sasuke turned to glare at Tobi, or to better name him, Madara.

"You want to know why he did it all, right? Do you still not get it?" Madara laughed.

"What is there to get?!" Sasuke spat, thoroughly creeped out by the way this man could read his mind. "He died to protect our families name. It was honorable."

"So you think," Madara began, "he died smiling for the family that he despised honor? Really?"

Sasuke's breathing was heavy as he listened for more of Madara's piercing words.

"Deep down you know. You know why he did it." Madara explained.

"WHY!?" Sasuke screamed in frustration.

"Love... is a powerful thing." Madara explained, and then he was gone.

Sasuke broke down on the floor, finally understanding his brother in truth.

Then, from the darkness clouding his mind, a light shone through. Naruto was still there. Still waiting for him. Still smiling and holding out a hand.

Still loving him.

Sasuke could go on. At least he had to see Naruto once more, but until then he could go on.

He sat up just as Yamada's voice came over the loudspeaker,

"_Can everyone please report to the main room. I have a few little early Christmas present for you all."_

Sasuke sighed ad knew that if he didn't show up, someone would just come and find him and drag him anyways. He got up and slowly walked to the main room to find Sono standing in front of the closed door that led to the outside hall.

"Is everyone here?" Yamada asked, "Good. The presents I was referring to were none other than two new inmates. Some of you may know them, some of you may not."

Sasuke could here muffled arguing on the other side of the door but then it died down when Yamada kicked it.

"Introducing..." Yamada said slowly. The double doors opened and in walked two figures.

"...Can't believe I'm getting tossed in here with _you_." Naruto grumbled as he walked through the door.

"Just shut it, brat." Kabuto replied in an annoyed voice.

"...Naruto Uzumaki and Kabuto Yakushi! Please treat them kindly!" Yamada lsughed as he walked out of the doors and they slammed behind him.

Naruto's eyes instantly found Sasuke's.

"Naruto..." Sasuke muttered angrily.

"Sasuke!" Naruto yelled happily.

* * *

**Cha! Anyway yeah. Happy early x-mas everybody haha. OH! Almost forgot!**

**I have drawn what Mei looks like, complete with scar. I actually drew it a while ago but I didn't want to put it up because obviously i hadn't given her her scar yet. **

**Unfortunately, now i can't put it up. Because I'm in Florida, and have no scanner, as I need one to scan it into the computer and put it on my DeviantArt account. **

**As soon as I get home I will scan it in and in the next chapter I will put the name of my DeviantArt account in case you want to check it out! XD**

**KeikoPanda102**


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40: When I'm Sixty-Four

"What are you doing here, Usuratonkachi?" Sasuke growled as Naruto made his way over to the furious Uchiha. Said idiot just rolled his eyes and smiled.

"Don't tell me you got yourself tossed in here for me?" Sasuke asked with angry contempt.

Naruto huffed. "Am I that obvious?"

Sasuke groaned and turned away, making his way back to his cell. Naruto, of course, followed him.

"Don't follow me, Dobe." Sasuke growled. "I'm really pissed off right now and I'm trying to think of a way to get you out of here."

"First of all," Naruto began, "You can't get me out of here, because I am a criminal and I deserve to be in jail. Second, I'm not following you, I'm going to my cell."

Sasuke's eyes widened. "You aren't-"

"In the same cell as you? Yeah, I am. Sasuke, we need to talk." Naruto's face grew serious but Sasuke could see hint of unease in his eyes. This small bit of fear made a bit of Sasuke's anger melt away.

"Why would you do this, Naruto? I mean, I knew you were stupid but to get yourself thrown in prison just to see me."

"So you aren't happy to see me at all?" Naruto asked through a glare.

Sasuke bit his lip. "No." He finally replied. "You need to leave. I've been telling you all along. I'm over you and I don't need you anymore."

"You're a lying bastard." Naruto spat back. "I didn't just come for you though. I came to give you a message from Sakura. She wants you to know she's over you."

"Good." Sasuke said monotonously.

"Yeah, she tried confessing to me and when I turned her down I think she finally got it. She's off somewhere with Kakashi now."

"Hn." Sasuke replied as he laid down in his bottom bunk. Naruto glared.

"Come on! I just told you some insane news! Sakura confessing, now she's with Kakashi-sensei! How can you not care?" Naruto screamed.

"I just don't." Sasuke said.

Naruto sighed then sniffed once. He turned to leave the room, but before he did he muttered,

"I'm not leaving, Teme, so you better get used to me."

As soon as Naruto left Sasuke felt a bitter black emotion well over his heart. It was as if the sun had left. He really did love Naruto, but this was not what he wanted. Now Naruto was stuck exactly where he was; no where.

Back in the common room, Kabuto glanced around nervously. He didn't _really_ have anything against Sasuke, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to at least bother the egotistic brat. Kabuto knew Orochimaru wasn't as invincible or perfect as he seemed to claim, but he still respected him more than anyone else. His respect sometimes felt a little funny to him. It felt like something resembling love, but not exactly love. It wasn't so much love, as verging on obsession. It was a strange feeling that Orochimaru didn't help with every time he had sex with Kabuto.

It had happened a lot more when Kabuto had first stayed with Orochimaru, when he was younger. Or course, back then Kabuto had hated it. He thought it was disgusting, but the more he showed his dislike, the more Orochimaru seemed to enjoy himself. As he grew older, Orochimaru didn't screw him as often, but when he did, Kabuto pretended not to like it, even though in truth he did like it. Finally it seemed like Orochimaru was going to stop having fucking him all together and Kabuto didn't want that to happen. He tried to seduce Orochimaru, but in the end his lord made his admit his feelings. Kabuto was worried Orochimaru would hate him if he knew, but all the snake master did was smile and say,

"Finally."

After that he had fucked Kabuto much more, and it had been a very good arrangement. It was easy for Kabuto to develop his own form of the drug that induced pregnancy in men, and take it himself. Orochimaru didn't even notice. Kabuto was nearly 5 months when Sasuke killed the legendary sannin.

Kabuto glanced down at the child in his arms.

"I guess we'll be as safe here as we were out there..."

Suddenly a blond girl came up to him and asked, "You're Kabuto, right, un?"

Kabuto frowned and nodded, sure that this boy(he could tell it was a boy from the voice) was probably part of Akatsuki. He didn't know if he was on good or bad terms with the powerful group.

"Yes." He replied searchingly.

"My name is Deidara. Is that your baby un?"

Kabuto held the child closer and frowned. "How do you know about-?"

"Hidan and Kakuzu, over there, yeah. They have one too."

Kabuto's eyes widened as he looked over and saw, sure enough, two men playing with a baby that obviously shared both of their features.

''They must have been the test couple Lord Orochimaru was speaking of." he muttered to himself.

Deidara nodded. "So did you do it too, yeah? Have a baby with another guy?"

Kabuto shifted on the balls of his feet. "Kind of." He replied.

Deidara looked confused. Kabuto placed the child on the ground and took off it's hat, revealing it's face. Long black hair fell to it's waist and around it's pale, feminine face. Deidara stood back and stared for a while into golden eyes, surrounded by a light layer of lilac purple. It looked about one and a half to two years old. Deidara smiled.

"A girl, yeah? She's pretty."

Kabuto smirked in reply. "He is a boy actually. He's very feminine but he'll grow out of it."

"I can understand that yeah." Deidara laughed. "What is his name then?"

"Orochimaru." Kabuto said.

Deidara made a face. "Not very creative un."

"I couldn't name him anything else." Kabuto said.

"How come?" Deidara asked suspiciously.

"Because he is Lord Orochimaru. Well, a clone, actually."

Deidara nodded slowly then began to walk away. "Right... I see yeah..."

Suddenly Naruto came up behind Kabuto and yelled,

"You really made a clone of that pervert!? Why the hell would you want to do that?!"

Kabuto took a deep breath and rolled his eyes.

"Not like you would understand, but Lord Orochimaru was one of the most intelligent minds in history. He was simply a misunderstood, intelligent, and-"

"Don't forget perverted pedophile." Naruto added with a smirk.

The little Orochimaru was staring up at Naruto with curious eyes. After a minute he giggled and reached up, asking Naruto to pick him up. Naruto, who had not even glanced at the kid before, looked down with interest. His eyes widened when he saw the cute face. He bent down to the boys eyes level and smiled, patting his head. Kabuto frowned but didn't try and stop him because his child was obviously happy.

"How could you be cloned from someone so ugly, but be so adorable?" Naruto asked. Kabuto smacked the back of his head.

"Lord Orochimaru was not ugly! This is exactly what he looked like as a child."

"Whatever." Naruto grumbled as he rubbed his head. "Just don't make this kid as screwed up as the real Orochimaru was, and you'll be good."

Suddenly Kabuto looked around to see a bit of a crowed around him. All of Akatsuki was inspecting little Orochimaru and the boy began to get shy and hid behind Kabuto's leg.

"I'm very curious as to how you created a true clone. I wasn't aware we had the technology yet." Pein murmured thoughtfully.

"_You_ may not have had the technology yet, but_ we_ did. It actually works a lot like the drug used to give males the ability to have children. Once Lord Orochimaru's genes were inside me the drug affected them to become not just variations of his genes, but exact copies. Then the clone just grows inside for the sam amount of time a child would. He will grow at a normal rate as well."

"So then, there's none of you inside him? It's all that creepy pervert?" Karin asked.

Kabuto seemed to blush suddenly as he pulled something out of his shirt.

"Well..." he muttered as he placed a pair of glasses on the boys face. "It really couldn't be helped that our genes would fuse together _a little._ This was only a test anyway. I just... I just wanted something of my Lord just in case something were to happen to him... as it did. It is mostly Orochimaru though, about 95%."

"Astounding science." Kakuzu said thoughtfully. He then moved a bit closer to Kabuto and muttered, "Just curious but... do you have any more of that man-preg drug with y-"

"I SAID NO-" Hidan growled angrily as he shoved Kakuzu away from a shocked Kabuto. "AND I FUCKING MEANT IT ASSHOLE!"

"What was that about?" Kabuto asked Konan as she smiled at little Orochimaru.

"Don't worry about it. Hey, can we give this guy a nickname? It might be confusing to call him Orochimaru all the time."

"Uh, sure. How about Oro?" Kabuto joked.

Karin shrugged. "Sounds good to me. Oro it is."

"Er, I was just kidding. Please don't nickname him Oro, at least call him Chibi Orochimaru." Kabuto said.

"That's too long." Tobi said, " Tobi knows! Chibi-oro!"

Everyone is quiet for a moment then, "I like it. Yeah, it's nice. Chibi-oro!"

Chibi-oro giggled below them and in Hidan arms, it seemed Mei finally noticed him getting all the attention. She reached her hands towards him and made annoyed grunting sounds. After a minute Hidan noticed this and placed her gently on the floor next to Chibi-oro. For a minute they just stared at each other, but finally Mei made the first move in reaching out to pull harshly on Chibi-oro's long hair. He flinched but didn't cry. He reached out and touched her scar with one finger. She closed that eye and made a face but didn't let go of his hair, in fact she pulled harder. She then seemed to notice that he standing up and she frowned. She grabbed a hold of Hidan's leg and tried to pull herself up. She was halfway standing when she lost her balance and almost fell. Chibi-oro caught her arm and helped her stand. When she was successfully standing she smiled then giggled along with Chibi-oro.

The others, who had been watching their interaction the whole time, smiled too. Kabuto exhaled happily.

"I'm glad you have a child too. I didn't want him to grow up alone."

"Yeah. Plus there's Karin's kid." Hidan said flatly.

Everyone stared at him in confusion except Konan, Karin, and Suigetsu. Their faces wore expressions of pure shock. Hidan finally noticed their faces and asked innocently,

"What?"

Karin was the first one to break the silence. "What kid?"

Hidan looked at her like she was stupid and said loudly,

"The kid you're pregnant with. I think I can tell... WAIT! Oh shit you didn't want anyone... Um- Kid? Never mind, I was just kidding so yeah." Then he tried to walk away inconspicuously. It failed. Karin grabbed the back of his jumpsuit and nearly tossed him into the floor.

"Hidan..." she muttered through clenched teeth.

"What're you mad at me for!? It was gonna come out anyway! You're getting FAT, bitch!" Hidan yelled as she started to strangle him.

"Karin!" Suigetsu screamed, the pitch of his voice growing higher than normal. "Are you really-?"

She stopped strangling Hidan for a moment to stare at an obviously panicking Suigetsu. Karin just rolled her eyes.

"Look, Suigetsu, it's no big deal. You don't have to worry about anything really. I can handle this on my own."

He made a shocked and offended face as he stumbled backwards from the shock of what he was hearing. He glanced down at Karin's stomach, noticing a slight bulge for the first time. He nearly fainted but instead he just ran from them, and from everything.

Karin turned to Kisame who wasn't that shocked, he had had a nagging suspicion that Karin was pregnant for a while. She sighed and asked,

"Could you please go comfort him? It's the kind of thing a father is perfect for."

Kisame just nodded and ran after Suigetsu.

* * *

**I was just wondering how **_**no one**_** commented on when Tobi said that 'no pee-pee' thing a few chapters ago. I thought that was hilarious! But whatever XD**

**And yes, I do intend to call Orochimaru's creepy child clone Chibi-oro. Hope you don't have a problem with it. **


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41: Friday I'm In Love

Kisame searched everywhere he could think of. When Suigetsu could not be found in his cell, the showers, nor anywhere else, Kisame began to wonder how in the hell someone could find a decent hiding place in a building as small as Kure-Ji-Kira. Then he noticed the construction sign blocking the hall towards the black, white, and red rooms.

Kisame raised an eyebrow, amazed that he had not noticed it before. He stepped over the construction tape and pushed aside the plastic blocking the section of hallway obviously being renovated. He heard Suigetsu as soon as he did. The shark boy was sobbing in one of the new rooms off the hall. Kisame walked in only to have a paintbrush thrown at him.

"Get out!" Suigetsu yelled. Kisame sighed and felt his way through the darkness until he heard where Suigetsu was and sat in front of him.

"I don't want to talk to _you!_"

"Too damn bad." Kisame exhaled.

"I hate you." Suigetsu seethed then sniffled.

Kisame chuckled a bit. "So what? You're a dad, what's the big deal?"

"At sixteen!" Suigetsu growled.

"You make that sounds so bad." Kisame joked. "Drama queen."

"It is bad." Suigetsu muttered bitterly.

"Stop pouting son." Kisame tried to say in a very fatherly voice.

In the darkness there was only silence for a minute or two, then Kisame heard Suigetsu try and cover his mouth from starting to laugh. Kisame couldn't help but smile too. Once they stopped laughing at their weird friendship Kisame stood up.

"You shouldn't have ran away like that. I think Karin was trying to tell you something."

Suigetsu stood up too even if he replied grimly, "Yeah. Probably just wants me to start paying child support." Kisame chuckled a little then was about to comfort Suigetsu some more but the boy cut him off by muttering quietly, "Thanks... Dad..."

Kisame froze as Suigetsu continued walking out of the darkened room. His heartbeat quickened and he covered his mouth thinking nervously, _"Why the hell did I like the sound of that so much? Maybe I really am a pervert..."_

Kisame shook his head to rid himself of useless thoughts then followed after Suigetsu. Karin was tapping her foot anxiously until she saw Suigetsu walking towards her. She inhaled deeply and ran over to him. She cut him off as he was starting to speak,

"Just let me talk first! Look, a baby won't be a problem, trust me. I'll take care of everything. It's not like I expected you to a great father anyway."

"I resent that." Suigetsu shot back.

Karin glared under her glasses then sighed.

"Look, all of this may not make a lot of sense to you but... When you started raping me I was really mad but then I thought about it and I suddenly got this feeling as if my life was getting closer and closer to being over, and I just didn't think I was going to find anyone to have a kid with before I got too old because I mean you know I liked Sasuke-kun but he's obviously and painfully gay so that won't happen, and you were there, and you have decent genes, I mean you're OK looking, and I just sorta decided I would have your kid, and I know its stupid and I should have told you sooner but I was afraid you want me to get an abortion so I didn't, and-"

She stopped and took a deep breath, panting lightly from all she had just said without taking a break. Suigetsu was finally starting to comprehend why she did it though, and it made him feel a little better. To him, Karin seemed like she was really determined and had made up her mind. Suigetsu was just a sperm donor to her.

"And-" she tried to continue.

"Stop." Suigetsu interrupted. "I get it, OK. I just panicked a little before. I never thought I wanted a kid, or that I even deserved one, but... I guess if you're just gonna give me one the easy way then I don't have anything to worry about."

Karin smiled, and it was genuine. "You can name him if you want..."

"Is it a boy?" Suigetsu asked cheerfully.

Karin glanced to the side and rubbed the back of her head as she mumbled, "Er... about that..."

* * *

"I can't believe I'm gonna have _twins!_" Suigetsu gasped as he and Kisame collapsed onto the common room couches.

"Me neither." Kisame agreed. "And I thought one grandkid would make me feel old."

Suigetsu flinched and made a face. "Stop talkin' about it already... it's weird."

Kisame sat and stared at Suigetsu for a minute then nodded, looking away.

"Yeah. Yeah you're right. I know it is." Then to change the subject he asked, "Hey, what room were we in earlier? I didn't know the new Yamada was gonna add anything onto Kure-Ji-Kira."

"It's the Blue Room. It's nearly done and I snuck in there a few days ago to check it out. It's really nice and it's got about 5 huge aquariums on every wall, including the ceiling. Plus a water bed." Suigetsu explained.

"Damn, it was so dark when we were there earlier I didn't notice that at all! A waterbed?" He exclaimed. "Hey, let's go check it out again."

"Really?" Suigetsu's eyes lit up in a way that made Kisame regret noticing how similar their smiles were. "Let's go!"

As they made their way back to the construction tape and pushed aside the plastic separating the hall, Kisame couldn't help but feel like a kid again. Finding new things, having fun with friends, being freed from the responsibilities of an adult. The innocence that Suigetsu somehow made him feel all disappeared the second they entered the room and the boy turned to him and smiled in the blue light that lit his face perfectly.

Suddenly the door slammed behind them and Yamada's voice came over the loudspeaker,

"Thank you, Kisame and Suigetsu, for volunteering to test the new Blue Room. Since this is just a test, it is of course free of charge. Please don't break anything, and enjoy."

Kisame and Suigetsu exchanged one nervous glance then Suigetsu cursed after trying to open the dead-bolted door.

"Dammit. I guess we're just stuck in here all night."

Kisame had certain thought flash through his mind at these words. He had already been feeling attracted to Suigetsu when they were just alone together for a few minutes, now he had to be with him for a while night and not touch him? He inhaled sharply and Suigetsu frowned.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

Kisame looked away and sat down on the water bed. He held his head in his hands as he felt the familiar lust embed itself in his body. He wanted Suigetsu, not in a very fatherly way at all.

"I can't believe," he groaned through his fingers, "that _you_ have to be my son. Of all the people on earth it's you! What'd I do to deserve this?"

He waited for a reply, but the one he got was not at all what he expected.

"I know what you mean." Suigetsu sighed. Kisame glanced up at him in shock. Suigetsu was turned the other way, staring at one of the fish tanks but not really seeing it. "I keep trying to forget. I keep telling myself over and over again that you are my father and it was just a one time accident that we... did that. Then... then I think about it and I feel sick. But not because it's gross! If I didn't like it, or didn't feel anything for you then it'd be OK. I only feel sick when I think about it because... I feel happy. I know it's wrong but I really liked it when you... you know..."

He finally turned around, and Kisame saw that his shining purple eyes were filling with tears.

"Dammit." Kisame cursed at himself. "I can't go on like this Suigetsu. Either we're gonna be together or not. You- you need to stop taking it so seriously though. It's- incest isn't so bad if it's two guys. It's not like anyone in here is really gonna look down on us if we..."

Suigetsu slid to the floor and didn't look up for fear of sobbing uncontrollably. Kisame groaned and licked his lips. He was tired of it all. He stood up, surprising Suigetsu, and growled,

"Look kid, if you don't let me fuck you, I'm gonna end up raping you!"

Suigetsu finally looked up, his eyes defiant, and a grin spread across his face because he had given up as well. He was tired of pretending just like Kisame was. He started zipping his jumpsuit down as he said,

"Go on and try it, Shark."

It didn't even take one millisecond for Kisame to kneel over Suigetsu on the floor and mutter, "Call me Daddy."

"I'm not that much of a pervert- AH!!!" Suigetsu shot back then moaned as Kisame let one hand slip around to the younger boys backside. He then tossed Suigetsu over his shoulder and threw him on the bed, making it bounce and wiggle from the water inside. He then left Suigetsu to stare at him through lust-laden eyes as he walked over to the lights and turned them lower, dimming them just enough so he could still see every line on the younger boy's thin body.

When Kisame went back over to the bed Suigetsu nervously licked his lips. Kisame placed one hand on his sons waist, and another in his soft hair as he leaned down and murmured,

"You're still not sure about this."

Suigetsu scowled then leaned up just enough to nibbled Kisame's lips in a sweet and tasty kiss. His breathing was suddenly heavy as he asked in reply,

"You still think I'm not sure?"

Kisame tightened his grip in Suigetsu's hair and forced his head back, making their lips meet again, this time much more forcefully. Suigetsu's instant reaction was to moan loudly as soon as Kisame's tongue slipped into his mouth and took control. He really liked the taste Kisame's tongue had, especially when it stroked his with force enough to take his breath away. Kisame finished unzipping the jumpsuit and had it off before Suigetsu even noticed. Suigetsu was too busy trying to keep a clear enough head to rip Kisame's clothes off as well. He shivered when he felt raw muscle against his skin.

Suigetsu found that arching off a waterbed was actually quite difficult. He could feel the liquid splashing inside and knew that they were going to give it one hell of a mix up by the end of the night. Kisame flipped Suigetsu over so he was face first into the rocking mattress. It was then that he noticed,

"Oh my god there's _fish_ in here!"

Kisame leaned over his shoulder to see where Suigetsu was pointing. True enough, there were small goldfish swimming inside the bed that both of them just realized was completely clear and see through. Kisame adjusted his position on top of Suigetsu and his boner rubbed against the younger boy's ass. Suigetsu nearly gasped, then he froze. Kisame glanced down at his red, flushed face and smiled.

"These fish look good... but nowhere _near_ as tasty as you."

He nibbled the tip of one of Suigetsu's ears, making him whimper, then licked his way down to the soft skin to his sons shaking torso. He pinched one nipple between his fingers then proceeded to lick it lightly, earning a loud yell from the uke below him.

"Aren't _these_ sensitive!" Kisame muttered as he teased both of Suigetsu's pink nubs tauntingly. Kisame sat up on his knees and pulled Suigetsu up with him. He bent down to suck swiftly and roughly on the little pert nipples before tossing Suigetsu back down on the bed, leaning over him, and moving his tongue down until he got the tip of Suigetsu's painfully hard member. As soon as he touched it with just one finger Suigetsu screamed and clawed at Kisame's flesh with intense passion.

Kisame's head was filled with a thick steam caused by the breathtaking tone of Suigetsu's voice. He filled his mouth with the boys manhood and felt around the back for his entrance at the same time. He pushed one finger inside and Suigetsu squirmed. Kisame held him tighter and worked his tongue along the top side of Suigetsu's shaft to relax him. Suigetsu just shivered and Kisame tasted some precum leak out of his length. He removed the member from his mouth and licked one of his own fingers, then placed it back at Suigetsu's hole. This time it slid in with much less resistance because of the slippery saliva and cum combination.

Suigetsu was ready this time. He braced himself for the strange, uncomfortable, and even painful feeling, but as soon as Kisame's fingers got past the first ring of muscle and he twisted them, curling up a little, Suigetsu didn't feel anything bad. Kisame rubbed and rubbed at the little bump inside of the younger boy until finally Suigetsu couldn't take it anymore, and he came in an explosion of shivering and spasms.

"That felt so... good..." He moaned as Kisame removed his fingers and sat on the edge of the bed. The older man smiled and ruffled his sons hair as he said,

"Maybe that's enough for tonight then."

Suigetsu instantly sat up and frowned.

"No! I mean, no. I wanna do more. It isn't fair if I just feel good. You're still..." He stopped stuttering to glance down at Kisame's still hard member, then he gulped.

He closed his eyes and turned around on the bed, spreading his ass and lifting it up as he did. He looked behind him and the blush on his face made even Kisame feel embarrassed as he said,

"G-go on." he hesitated for a second before scowling and looking down to mutter, "...dad..."

Kisame froze, then in the next instant he pushed Suigetsu over on the bed and got on top of him, laughing the whole time.

"You are too cute for words!" he chuckled, making Suigetsu glare and try to push his way out from under his father. "Don't try and get away now that you've offered yourself up to me so beautifully."

"Don't joke stupid- Pervert!" Suigetsu growled.

Kisame cut him off with a kiss, and Suigetsu melted in his arms. Kisame laid down on the bed and waited for the water to stop splashing inside, then he pulled Suigetsu against his chest, wrapping his arms around the boy's strong shoulders as he did. He spent a few minutes making kiss marks just above and below Suigetsu's shoulder blades, and relaxing him as well. Finally, he positioned himself at the entrance and let the tip slide in just a bit.

Suigetsu winced and stretched away from the object trying to go inside of him.

"Hurts..." he muttered.

"Make it feel good." Kisame told him soothingly.

Suigetsu stayed still for a moment then he shifted backwards, and the shaft went deeper. He gasped but didn't pull away. He arched his back and tightened his grip on Kisame's arms surrounding him for comfort. When the member was finally all the way in Kisame asked,

"Can I move now?"

Suigetsu nodded, glad he was facing the other way so Kisame could not see his embarrassed face. Kisame thrust once, and with amazing luck, found that exact perfect spot inside Suigetsu on the first try. Suigetsu gasped,

"There!"

Kisame's eyes widened then he moved his hips again. It was really tight. Suigetsu's legs weren't spread and there wasn't much lube, but the angle he was going in made it ok for him to push in and out just enough. After a few minutes Suigetsu cried,

"Stop!"

Kisame halted his thrusting and Suigetsu took a deep breath.

"It feels good... right there..."

Kisame could feel every muscle in the boy's body tensing then relaxing, especially the muscles in his rear. They were moving and tightening around his shaft and sending waves of pleasure all down his throbbing manhood. Kisame reached around to stroke Suigetsu as he thrust once more deep, as deep as he could go.

"Aaaaah!!!" Suigetsu screamed as he came for a second time that night. Kisame came not ten seconds after him. He didn't pull out when he realized that Suigetsu had passed out from the sex. He held the boy close and rested his strong chin on the top of Suigetsu's head.

Before he fell asleep he glanced around the room, yawned, then muttered,

"This is a nice room..."

Back in his office Yamada watched them go to sleep and heard Kisame's last line of appreciation.

"Glad you liked it." Seethed Yamada in annoyance.

* * *

**Hey! Looky, more incest! How great is that!?**

**Super great, that's how! XD**

**I hope everyone's been enjoying my quick updates because i promise that after the holidays... they will most likely not continue. Sorry!!!**

**Keep with the reviews! **

**KeikoPanda102**


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 42: Papa Don't Preach

* * *

**TIME SKIP TIME!!!! WOOH!!!**

**Thats right folks, it's time-skip time! Mei is now 7 years old, Chibi-oro is 8, and Karin's twins are 6 almost 7. **

**I kind of copped out on the twins' names. I had a long list of the different things I could name them but I the end I settled on Aki and Ueno. If there are some clever fangirls out there you might notice that Aki and Ueno(like sono and Seiji) are from Sensitive Pornograph. **

**Also, I've drawn Mei and the twins, and will put them on my deviantArt account as soon as I can(my username is *surprise surprise* KeikoPanda102). I have a colored pic that I drew with MY NEW TABLET I GOT FOR XMAS!!**

**Ehem... but that pic is of Mei when she's older. I have a non-colored one that shows her when she's younger... but yeah. I didn't draw Chibi-oro. Just picture young Orochimaru with glasses. P.S. I'm not the best artist. At all.**

**Thank you for reading with me this far! I have a general idea how the ending is going to play out but it's sketchy and could change so I'd just like everyone to go with the flow! Thank you!**

* * *

"Daaaaad!" Mei yelled as she ran crying to Hidan, Aki and Ueno following close behind her.

"Jashin dammit what now!?" Hidan replied in an annoyed tone.

"W-we were playing in the kitchen and-"

"Oh come on! I told you that was stupid!" Hidan interjected.

Mei pouted and continued, "There was a knife and it was shiny and-"

"Jashin... what'd you cut off this time?" He instantly reached into his pocket and pulled out a roll of gauze.

She held out her hands. Hidan ignored the many scars already adorning her small fingers and focussed on the one bleeding profusely. Once he cleaned it off he could see that it was a fairly small one. He wrapped it up and she smiled.

"Thanks Dad!"

"Go play outside for once, damn."

She scowled a little and wouldn't meet his gaze as she muttered. "I- I don't like it outside..."

"Why the hell not?" he asked curiously.

"Nothin'..." she muttered then turned and ran off, instantly followed by Ueno and Aki.

"Don't mind her, Hidan. She's just at a weird age. The other day Orochimaru told me that he was ashamed to be a clone. They don't mean it, they're just learning." Kabuto explained.

Hidan's glance was not entirely believing as Kabuto nodded to him in a creepy motherly way. Hidan then looked away to mutter,

"Or maybe he's as smart as he looks and he knows he's a freak of nature."

"I resent that." a small voice said from his left. "I am 94.23 percent sure I am smarter than you are, but I do not believe I'm a freak of any kind."

Chibi-oro nudged his glasses up his nose some more while staring Hidan up and down with contempt. Suddenly Kakuzu came behind him and hit the back of his head. Chibi-oro almost fell to the ground as Kakuzu smirked at him and said,

"Don't be a smart-a-lick or no one will ever like you. What happened to you, kid? When you first got here you were so nice."

"I grew up!" Spat Chibi-oro. He then looked nervous and growled, "Sensei, I don't understand why you, who is one of the most talented surgeons in history, are with this moronic-"

"Orochi, don't insult my wife."

Chibi-oro seethed. "But Sensei-"

"Try being normal once in a while, you might find out that you really like some of the 'stupid people'." Kakuzu said sharply.

"Fine..." Muttered Chibi-oro as he sauntered away.

Kakuzu turned to pull Hidan into his arms smoothly. He leaned down, kissing his neck as if he hadn't seen Hidan in ages and he wanted to get all of him that he could. Hidan smiled contentedly, letting himself be embraced. He was used to his affectionate mate by now.

"Don't pay much attention to Orochi, he is too smart for his own good. I am trying to teach him to be better." Kakuzu said.

"Were you like that when you were younger?" Hidan asked playfully.

"Yes." Kakuzu replied with a smirk. "But I hadn't met you."

On the other side of the room Suigetsu and Naruto made barfing noises as they heard Kakuzu's cheesy line.

"Do you not like romance? Maybe I should quit being nice to you?" Sasuke asked with a raised eyebrow. Naruto pouted a bit then couldn't help but let his bright smile return to his face.

"It's just funny how much Kakuzu's changed. He used to be such a hard-ass, un!" Deidara added as he plopped down next to them on the couch.

"Speaking of people changing..." Suigetsu muttered with a gleam in his eye. "You are a completely different person from when I first met you, Sasuke."

"No I'm not." Sasuke said flatly then sat down next to Naruto.

Suigetsu and Naruto, who had grown to be very good friends, exchanged rolled eyes at the dark Uchiha's reply.

On the other side of the room Mei walked up to Chibi-oro and patiently waited for him to look up from his book before asking,

"How come you never play with me anymore, Oro?"

"I have to study." he replied.

"Why?" she frowned at him.

He sighed. "Because I need to become smarter. When I'm 18 I can get out of this place and make something of myself, you should think about that too."

"But that's so far away. Why can't you study later and play now?"

"Because-" suddenly Ueno came behind Chibi-oro and stole the glasses right off his face. Ueno giggled then proceeded to run off with the glasses. Chibi-oro ran after him angrily but soon found himself face-first on the floor after being tripped by Aki. As they laughed at Chibi-oro trying to get back up, Mei walked over to them and pushed them both onto the ground.

"See how it feels?" She yelled at them.

They both looked shocked then finally Aki cried, "But we weren't being mean to you, Mei! We would never push you down!"

"Never!" Ueno mimicked, nodding his head up and down quickly.

Mei just rolled her eyes then picked up Chibi-oro's glasses carefully. She bent down just as he was dusting himself off and placed the glasses back on his face. He slapped away her hand and yelled,

"Don't pity me! You are just as stupid as your blindly religious father and you always will be!"

He than ran away to hide in his own fathers cell without another glance back.

"Mei!" Aki and Ueno gasped at the same time, reaching their hands to her. She ran from them in the opposite direction Chibi-oro had, straight into Kakuzu's arms.

"Daddy, am I stupid? Is Dad stupid?" she cried as tears ran down her face and over the black scar under her left eye. Kakuzu let her cry into his shoulder as he and Hidan exchanged a meaningful glance.

"He didn't mean it." Kakuzu said finally after she had calmed down a bit and told them what had happened. "He was upset and he took it out on you. I know it wasn't nice, but it proves that he is just as much a child as you are, and he should stop trying to act so grown up."

Mei didn't really understand but she nodded anyway. Kakuzu let her down and she rubbed her eyes slowly. Hidan patted her head then fixed her bow and she smiled a little. He then pointed over her shoulder and said,

"Looks like Aki and Ueno are getting in a fight without you there to entertain them."

She glanced back to where he was pointing and sure enough, Ueno's face was growing steadily angrier as Aki spouted different insulting things. She sighed and slowly made her way back over to them. They instantly stopped arguing.

"Mei!" they cried at the same time and met her halfway. She smiled.

"I'm sorry!" Ueno said hastily. Aki glared at him. "I wanted to say sorry first!" he pouted.

"You're too slow, Aki!" Ueno stuck his tongue out. Aki just glared and crossed his arms.

"You two shouldn't fight!" Mei said firmly.

"But he's so annoying all the time, and he's too quiet!" Ueno complained.

"Maybe I'm so quiet because you're so loud." Aki muttered.

"You're always doing things without even thinking about them!" Ueno growled.

"Well you always go along with it anyway."

"Stop, stop! You guys need to kiss and make up or we're never going to have any more time to play! Go on!" She crossed her arms and frowned at them.

They both stopped and looked at her for a minute to see if she was serious. When her expression didn't change Aki sighed. He rolled his eyes and grabbed the front of Ueno's overalls. He quickly pulled his brother forward and kissed him flat on the lips. Aki's eyes were closed but Ueno's shot wide open. When they pulled apart they both wiped their mouths, Ueno glared faintly at Aki then muttered in an annoyed tone,

"There, happy?"

Both Aki and Ueno became surprised when they saw Mei's expression. First her eyes went wide and her mouth popped open in a small 'o'. Then, her face grew dark red and one tiny hand came up to try and cover her blush.

As soon as Aki had kissed Ueno, nearly everyone in the room had turned to them with shock in their eyes. Karin slapped her hand onto her forehead then muttered,

"This is what I get for passing on the incest genes..."

Suigetsu gulped, and all the other adults just watched to see how it would play out. The room was dead silent, and everyone was holding their breathes, watching Mei with intense curiosity.

"Mei... are you ok?" Ueno asked and reached out a hand to her.

She slapped away his hand, looked shocked at her own reaction, then ran out of the room before anyone could stop her.

Aki and Ueno glanced at each other, utterly confused. Konan laughed, crossed her arms and said just loud enough for the adults to hear,

"I think we just witnessed the birth of a twincest fangirl."

Karin groaned, pulled a flask from out of nowhere, and chugged it. Suigetsu patted her on the back and smiled awkwardly.

"It's ok..." he muttered loosely. She just turned and glared at him.

Mei ran from the room in embarrassment, only when she was outside in the fresh air did she realize she barely even knew why she was so embarrassed. All she knew was that when Aki had kissed Ueno it made her feel really funny. Not bad, just funny. And she felt like she had done something troublesome, like she had broken some sort of pact between friends, and she got embarrassed. Then everyone was looking at her, and she ran away.

This was the only time she was ever really grateful to have an outside area to the prison, even if it was caged in and gray and ugly. She made her way around the perimeter, kept in by tall fences topped with barbed wires, sighing the whole time. When she had told her Dad that she didn't like the outside, she was telling the truth. It was the only time when she felt like she was really separated from the outside world. When she felt like she was missing something.

And she hated _them._

"Little girl!"

"You with the white hair!"

"Kid!"

Mei groaned, but still being young and polite, turned around to face the people calling to her anyway. She didn't smile though, and she didn't walk any closer to the fence where they were standing on the other side.

"W-what do you want?" she asked as she fiddled with the bow in her hair.

"What does it feel like to be a child criminal?" one of them sneered. She flinched from his accusatory tone and the way they all looked down on her.

"Yeah, what'd you do, rob a diaper factory?"

They laughed at their joke and Mei began to slowly walk away. They were just some bored punks who liked to hang around the prison walls for something to do. It was the main reason Mei hated being in the fenced in inclosure around Kure-Ji-Kira. Hidan had explained to her that the outside area was built mostly for her, only a few years after she was born. Both of her fathers were always trying to get her and the twin's to play outside, they said she needed sunlight or she would never grow. It never seemed worth it whenever the vultures on the outside started calling to her.

"Oi!" Mei's head snapped up to see Hidan walking slowly towards her. She ran over to him and wrapped her arms around his legs. He glared at the men on the other side of the fence.

"Are these pieces of shit how come you didn't want to play outside?" he asked angrily.

She nodded. His hands balled into fists then he smiled.

"My name's Hidan. Want to know what I'm in here for?" he asked as he walked towards the fence slowly.

A few of the kids laughed and a few others nodded. Hidan sidled right up to the chains, Mei still holding onto his leg. Hidan held a finger out and looks on either side of him, motioning for the guys to come closer to the wall. They glanced at Mei, obviously thinking that there was no danger if the little girl was OK. They moved just close enough to the fence for Hidan to reach trough it and grab two of them by the neck, one for each hand. He choked them mercilessly as Mei and other others watched.

"Murder." he whispered menacingly. "And so is her other father. She's our daughter, so imagine what she's capable of. Don't ever bother her again, or Jashin will not spare your life."

He released the two men and the stumbled away, choking and gasping for air. None of the men were looking at Hidan in fear, all eyes were on Mei who was smiling just as wide as her Dad.

Once they were out of sight Hidan bent down to Mei's level and scowled.

"If they ever come back just scream at 'um and do this." He then put up his middle finger and waited until she did the same. She smiled and nodded. He stood up.

"It's a damn good thing you weren't crying. I dunno what I woulda done to those bastards if they'd made you cry. That Orochimaru kid got me just in time."

Mei glanced back towards the door leading inside, just as it opened and both Aki and Ueno sprinted out, a small head of black hair disappeared in.

* * *

**...And that's all I have the energy to write right now. Ok so... yeah I dont have anything to say about this chapter except for you to go and take a look at what all my OC's look like on my deviantArt(Keikopanda102). The twin's pic is only of them when their older but I will keep adding more so keep checking, only if you're curious though. **

**Also, A while ago I got a few flames because of the KisameXSuigetsu incedent. I don't know why I'm mentioning it, I just think it's funny. You're ok with rape and Mpreg... but not incest? Weirdo's.**

**KeikoPanda102**


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 43: Can't Fight This Feeling!

Sono sat crumpled on the floor. He had just fallen out of his chair after seeing that one small, innocent kiss that Aki had given Ueno. It had come out of nowhere and shocked him much more than he expected. His chest felt like it was going to burst. It was almost worse than the first time he ever saw Aki and Ueno. When he found out they were twin boys it reminded him so much of his own brother it nearly killed him inside.

"What more are these people going to put me through!?" he cried into the dark, empty room. "They try to escape, and instead of punishing them I give them more rooms and even an outside! Just like Seiji said, "keep them happy." I'm trying but I can't do it alone!"

He curled up into the carpet of the floor. Sono very much liked this room, it still smelt like his brother, even after all this time. He ran a hand through his short brown hair. It was never slicked back anymore, he hated it when he looked like his brother, it just reminded him that he wasn't. To Sono Yamada, Seiji was his most respected person, and the one he loved the most.

"I miss you..." he murmured into the darkness. Sono's mind was getting more and more clouded by his grief and pain. As he lay on the floor he once again tried to ask himself what it was all for. He couldn't think of an answer.

* * *

"Hey Ueno..." Aki whispered as Karin shut the door after tucking them into bed. Ueno, whose back was turned towards his brother, simply grunted, "What?"

Aki smiled deviously and inched his way across their small bed to lay directly next to Ueno. He sat his chin on his brother's shoulder and asked,

"You wanna do it again?"

Ueno stiffened then asked slowly, "Do what again?"

"What we did earlier..." Aki explained, "Kiss."

"No..." Ueno flushed.

"But why not?" Aki whined. "You liked it."

"How do you know what I like?" Ueno hissed as he tried to move away from Aki a little. It seemed like it was getting hotter under the covers.

Aki just scooted closer and tugged on a handful of Ueno's pink hair lightly. "Because I liked it... and we're the same..."

"No we're no-!" He was hushed by a small peck on his lips. Aki held onto the front of Ueno's pajama's tightly as he deepened the kiss, even letting his tongue slip out once or twice. Ueno felt like he was becoming intoxicated by the feel of his brothers mouth on his. At first he didn't move, but soon some animal force seemed to take over and he flipped them so he was the one on top, his small hands holding fast to Aki's hands.

Aki smiled when Ueno finally broke away from their incredibly sloppy embrace. Ueno's face was flushed bright red and his eyes were hazy, as though he were under a spell. He suddenly looked at his hands and saw how tightly he was holding onto Aki's wrists. He gasped and released the in a second yelling,

"I'm so sorry Aki I didn't mean to-!"

"Shhh!" Aki hushed him just as the door opened and light flooded the room.

"Go. To. Bed." Karin growled in annoyance, even though she usually had to do this every night. "Now!"

"Yes Mother..." The boys said at the same time. She shut the door and Aki let out an exhausted sigh. Ueno was still staring at the red marks on Aki's wrists and feeling bad. Suddenly Aki smiled.

"We should do it again."

"But Mom said-"

"Not now, Dummy." Aki giggled. "just... some time."

Ueno blushed again and turned his head away before murmuring, "O- OK...."

Aki laid down and rested his head on Ueno's shoulder. Ueno let out a sigh of relief. If he didn't have Aki, he would be very lonely.

* * *

As they laid in bed one night Konan very discreetly whispered into Leader-sama's ear,

"The others have been getting restless lately. Especially Suigetsu and Naruto. They are very young and shouldn't be locked in here anyway. When do you think we should plan another escape?"

Pein was quiet for a while then as he kissed her forehead he murmured, "Let me sleep on it. I will think of something..."

Sleep on it he did, and as he slept he dreamt. When he awoke he turned to Konan and smiled.

"I have a feeling an opportunity for escape will appear all on it's own very soon."

* * *

"HAPPY BIRTHDAYS!"

Aki and Ueno sat smiling widely in the middle of every one of their friends and parents; Karin, Suigetsu, Kisame, Hidan, Kakuzu, Mei, Sasuke, Naruto, Juugo, Sasori, Deidara, Konan, Leader-sama, Tobi, Zetsu, Kabuto, and Chibi-oro.

"What did we get!?" Ueno asked cheerfully.

"Exactly what you wanted of course!" Suigetsu smirked at them as he pulled a large box from behind his back. "Be careful when you open it."

They smiled towards each other in excitement then ripped off the wrapping. There was another box with tons of holes in it then once they opened that, Ueno reached in and pulled out a small, white bunny rabbit.

"We can name him Usa-chan!"

"But..." Aki muttered and looked down sadly, making Ueno glance at him curiously. "Why do you need a bunny when you already have me?"

Ueno's eyes flew open and he quickly turned and held Aki in his arms saying in a comforting tone,

"You're cuter than any pet, Aki! I just hoped we could take care of Usa-chan together."

A few from the audience had to glance away as the aura the two were giving off became far to shimmery for them to handle.

"Enough of that! It's cake time!" Karin yelled loudly as she pushed the two of them apart. They shared a giggle at their mother's expense as a gigantic cake was wheeled through the kitchen doorway into the main room.

"It's huge!" Aki, Ueno, and Mei all gasp at once. Even Chibi-oro is a bit taken aback by the sheer volume of the cake.

"That's what she said." Hidan quickly murmured so only Naruto, who happened to be standing close by, could hear. Naruto covered his mouth and snorted as Hidan just crossed his arms and looked super smug at his joke. Kakuzu and Sasuke on the other hand... both looked pissed. Stupid jealous seme's.

Just as Mei, Ueno, and Aki were about to burst into the cake and eat it without even cutting slices they heard Sasori say,

"Yeah, Deidara helped me make it."

All three children stopped instantly. As they were backing away from the cake Mei smiled nervously and asked,

"Uncle... Deidara helped?"

Sasori just smiled and nodded as Deidara himself ran out of the kitchen and asked loudly,

"Do you like it, un?"

"Er..." Ueno muttered, rubbing the back of his head. Mei nudged Aki who gulped then asked, "Uncle Deidara... It's not gonna explode... is it?"

Sasori gave Deidara a searching look which Deidara seemed to avoid until he just burst out laughing. He pulled a smaller cake from behind his back, set it on the ground, then in the next moment, it exploded. Everyone jumped back about ten feet except Deidara, who was expecting it, and Sasori, who was used to it.

"Ok, all done, un. The other one won't go bang. Danna made me promise yeah."

Mei was the first one to begin laughing shakily as she stood up and reached for the large knife next to the cake. Hidan noticed her instantly. He grabbed her wrist and stared her down with a raised eyebrow.

"Can't I cut it?" She asked politely. Hidan just shook his head and picked the knife up himself. Mei was pouting as he cut the first piece.

"How come you never let me do anything?" she asked grumpily as Aki and Ueno went off to play with Usa-chan.

"Because all you want to do is fucking kill yourself!" Hidan growled for what seemed like the millionth time he was telling his daughter. "Seriously, do you like getting all cut up like that?"

Her face grew redder and angrier as she yelled, "But you don't care that Daddy's all cut up-!"

"That's different, Mei!" Hidan growled as he handed her a piece of cake and patted her on the head. "You're a girl, and we don't want you to grow up looking like... one of us."

She didn't quite understand what he was referring to and her face was glowing with curiosity, but before she could ask he walked away and she got distracted by Aki and Ueno shower her what they were doing with Usa-chan.

* * *

**So... I've been watching Ouran too much. **

**Anyway. Decided to end this at 50 chapters. Let's see how that goes. Last time I decided to do that I ended up with 51 chapters but oh well. Sorry for taking so long. School has been weird and I'm now the person in charge of the Chris Cross fan club at my school. There's a guy named Chris Cross, and hes sexy, and we fangirl over him. I made a group on facebook. Apparently, hes got a lot more fans than we first imagined. **

**KeikoPanda102**


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 44: Vanilla Twilight

_What's so different about my scars? What did he mean by that? Dammit, Hidan's been acting weird lately and it's pissing me off. What was with that little flirty "that's what she said" joke to Uzumaki? Hidan shouldn't have acted all cool about it. Stupid idiot..._

Kakuzu was not having a good day. Maybe it was just because it was Monday, since Mondays suck. Maybe Mercury was in retrograde and it was screwing all his thoughts and his attitude up. Maybe he was just pissed because he and Hidan hadn't been having a lot of sex lately. All Kakuzu knew was: he was pissed and it was messing with his head.

Sasuke was not having a good day either. Naruto had snuck out of their room early in the morning and had been on the phone all day. Sasuke was watching him laugh and smile as the person on the other end apparently told a particularly funny joke. The blonde hadn't even noticed that Sasuke was watching him until he hung up and spun around, still smiling widely. Of course the smile fell off his face when he saw his mate.

"What time is it?" he asked as he approached Sasuke carefully.

"Two." Sasuke replied, making sure his eyes were extra probing as he stared down his lover.

"Ah..." Naruto scratched the back of his head. "I didn't think i'd be on the phone that long. It was Sakura's birthday, see, and I just wanted to say-"

"Were you on the phone with her this entire time? I wouldn't think a perfectly normal girl would want to spend her birthday talking to some moronic criminal who's stuck in prison for the rest of his life."

Naruto flinched then replied, "I was talking to her first... but then Kakashi-sensei wanted to say hi, then Gaara, then Rock Lee, then Shikamaru, then Kiba, then Sai-"

"Seems like you really miss them. Maybe you should just go back to them." Sasuke turned the other way and began to walk. Naruto grabbed his arm firmly and growled,

"You know I wouldn't. Not even if I could!"

Sasuke turned around to find Naruto's face so close to his he could count the blonde's eyelashes. As Naruto's fierce gaze bore into him he felt a bit lightheaded. How could those eyes have so much effect on him? No... it wasn't his eyes. Everything about Naruto made Sasuke's heart ache. What did someone like him deserve someone like Naruto?

"But you_ can_!" Sasuke groaned. "You're so stupid Dobe! You could be out of here anytime you wanted. Why won't you just leave?"

Seconds later Sasuke felt a fist crash across his face. As he stumbled backwards without falling he let saw Naruto bending forward, holding his head in his hands tightly as if he had a migraine. As shocked as Sasuke was from the punch, he could still tell that something wasn't right about Naruto. He watched as the blonde's breathing became heavier and then heard his voice change slightly when he growled,

"_You make me so _**angry**_, Sasuke! Just stop!_

When Naruto looked up Sasuke saw fiery red in his eyes and his pupils in slits. His teeth looked sharper and his whiskers stood out darker against his tanned face. Sasuke felt like he had to stand up taller so as to not be intimidated by Naruto's new form.

"_You_ are the one who should _stop._ Naruto, calm down."

Naruto only became angrier. He was mad enough to lunge at Sasuke, his teeth poised to sink somewhere into Sasuke's skin. Sasuke deftly ducked in time to uppercut Naruto in the gut and send him rolling to the ground. He quickly shook his head to regain his composure and flew at sasuke once more. Sasuke braced himself and as Naruto landed on top of him he quickly flipped them over so he could wrap his hands around Naruto's face and keep it steady.

By this time, they had gotten quite an audience watching them. Half the inmates and some of the guards stood around. Most were there to make sure neither of them was really going to harm the other. Kakuzu was taking bets as Hidan cheered next to him. He wasn't cheering for either one, he was just cheering for violence in general.

As Sasuke struggled against Naruto to stay upright he made sure to keep locking eyes with his deranged blond. Even if they weren't cerulean blue, they still had a lot of Naruto in them. Finally when Sasuke got enough control as to where Naruto had settled down a bit, the Uchiha gripped his lovers face tightly and lowered his lips onto bared fangs. After a few minutes the arms that had been pushing Sasuke away grabbed a hold of his jumpsuit tightly. There were no longer fangs in the way but a soft tongue begging for entrance. When Sasuke pulled away, sure enough, blue eyes and not red were shining up at him.

He quickly and nonchalantly stood up, shoved his hands in his pockets, and turned away from where Naruto was still just laying on the ground. With only a moment's hesitation, Naruto's grin returned to his face and he yelled,

"You really do love me, don'tcha, Bastard?"

Sasuke froze, remaining stationary for a good three minutes, then his body seemed to relax, and he turned around. He was still scowling as he reached a hand down to help Naruto up from the ground. As he pulled the blond up he leaned in to whisper quietly in his tanned ear,

"More than I like to admit, Usuratonkachi."

Naruto giddily threw his arms around Sasuke's shoulders and had the reluctant Uchiha in picturesque embrace before anyone even knew what had happened. A few people cheered, then crowd began to dissipate, though not as much because the show was over. Most of the watchers had taken this little event as a sign; it was love time.

All around the prison the inmates were coupling like love-sick teenagers. The only room still available was the Black room because it was apparently "under construction." Even the most unexpected couples were finding themselves entranced by the spell showered down upon the prison walls.

Tobi was trying to get away from Zetsu who was determinedly nibbling on the mask man's collar bone. When he finally got away Pein and Konan heard Tobi yell,

"People are friends, Zetsu-chan, not food!"

They then distinctly heard Zetsu reply in a mischievous tone,

"But Tobi _is _Zetsu's food. **We're going to eat you!** Tobi tastes yummy!"

Leader-sama blink a few times in confusion as Konan giggled.

"Well that's not something you see every day." she laughed.

"True. I wonder what got into them." Pein said flatly.

Konan rolled her eyes and grabbed Pein by the hand, pulling him towards their room.

"You can be very dense sometimes Nagato. Luckily you have me to help you understand things like this..." Her eyes were narrowed dangerously as she closed their room's door with a thud then locked it behind her.

Deidara and Sasori were trying out the green room for the first time while Kisame and Suigetsu took refuge in what had become their personal space, the Blue Room. This, unfortunately, left Karin to handle all four of the children. She was not very enthused about it all, but she was sure she'd get her revenge some day.

Besides her, the only ones who seemed not to be very much in the mood were Hidan and Kakuzu. Hidan was reading his Jashinism prayer book for the millionth time, while Kakuzu counted his newly acquired cash for the eighth time. Once he was sure he had not been shorted though, Kakuzu put his money down and finally noticed that he and Hidan seemed to be the only adult males in the building not having sex. He frowned. There was just something bothering him lately and he needed to clear it up.

"Hidan." he said, much more gruffly than he intended.

"Wha?" Hidan asked, not looking up from his book nor taking his hand off his necklace.

"At least have the decency to finish the word." Kakuzu nagged.

Hidan sighed, noticing that something was up with his lover. He lifted his eyes away from his book so they met with acid green and said,

"_What_ the hell has your panties in a knot?"

"Why do you love me?"

This question had been burning a hole in Kakuzu's soul for some time. See, he knew that Hidan loved him. That was not longer a problem, and he was no longer worried that he would take his beloved heart from his chest. Now he was only left to wonder why someone like Hidan would even fall in love with someone like him. He wasn't particularly good looking, not with all his scars. He was old as hell too, even if it didn't show much in his skin. He definitely wasn't nice, especially not to Hidan. He was downright greedy and he and Hidan had little in common besides both being blood-thristy criminals who happened to get thrown into a high-security, gay-loving, experimental whack-job of a prison together. Kakuzu was curious what Hidan's answer to his question would be. Really, why did he love him?

Hidan looked taken aback by the question, but only for a moment. He rested his chin on his fist, obviously thinking the question over in his mind. Then he just nodded to himself and said frankly,

"The sex is good."

As you can imagine, Kakuzu was not pleased by this answer. In almost a second flat he had Hidan by the hair and was preparing to slam the Jashinist's face into the table until Hidan yelled,

"Wait wait! Ok! Let me finish! Dammit!"

Kakuzu released his lovers white mane and waited with growing anger for Hidan's continued answer. Hidan sent him a glare as he smoothed back his hair(rhyme!) then said,

"I love you because the sex is good. BUT! Not just good but like, great! I mean, really, really, really fucking good!"

"Hidan, this better be going somewhere, or else Mei will have one less parent." Kakuzu threatened.

Hidan sighed then lifted up his hands as if he were going to count what he was saying on his finger tips.

"Whenever you touch me... it's like torture. The places you kiss burn like ice. My body is so out of fucking control whenever you're around that it makes me want to run away and never come back! You make me hurt so bad so that I want to die! It kills me! Every time we fuck you fucking kill me! Your kisses make me choke! Your fingers carve Jashin damn craters in my body they feel so fucking good. Your dick is so huge every time you shove it in my ass it's like you're ripping me apart. It hurts like a bitch but damn it makes me shiver like a girl. Your cock is so fucking hard and it feels like fire when it's deep into me and when I come it's like acid-"

"Stop."

Hidan stopped instantly. Kakuzu, who was holding his head in his hands, didn't want to look up because he knew he'd see that stupid, cocky smile plastered on his idiot of a husband's face. He didn't even look up when Hidan stood right in front of him and grabbed a hold of his jumpsuit with polished hands.

"Loving you is hell. The best damn hell there ever was."

The next second, Hidan's mouth was full of Kakuzu, and his hair was getting messed up again as the elder man grabbed a fistful of it once more, making sure to grip it tight, not wanting to lose any control over the lewd body in his grasp.

Soon he was pulling Hidan towards the Black Room. Who cared if it was under construction? It would serve well enough for their needs. As they made their way to the room, Hidan and Kakuzu passed by Naruto and Sasuke who were making their way outside. Kakuzu and Sasuke exchanged smirks while Hidan and Naruto just winked at each other in amusement.

All of them were thinking the same thing:

_If the prison's a rockin', don't come a knockin'!_

* * *

**Well... they were all thinking something along those lines! XD**

**Man! I LOVE cheesy endings! So.... next chapter, basically the whole things just gonna be one long lemon. Yay!**

**Please review!!!!**

**KiekoPanda102**


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter 45: Get It Up

Naruto moaned in approval as Sasuke nibbled at the nape of his neck with talented lips that craved his lovers tanned flesh. He forced the blonde against a wall just outside in the open area of the prison. The sun had just set, and the sky was filling with stars as their heated embraced filled the air with the sounds of passion. Sasuke's fingers entwined in Naruto's and he lifted up his arms and pushed them back on the wall, arching Naruto's back so Sasuke could slide his leg in between his lover's thighs inconspicuously. A scream echoed against the walls that were enclosing them as Naruto threw his head back with enthusiasm.

Sasuke lifted up his head and parted his lips from Naruto's skin. Naruto's head fell to rest on Sasuke's shoulder and the Uchiha let his arms move down to the blond's waist. After a minute of heavy panting Naruto asked,

"Wh-where are all the guards?"

Sasuke smirked and said before lifting Naruto's chin into a kiss,

"They must have noticed it's mating time."

* * *

Sono ground his teeth together in anger as he watched the screen showing Sasuke and Naruto making out in the outside area of Kure-Ji-Kira. He was wondering where the hell the guards were as well. His eyes flickered around at all the different screens in his office. They covered the entire wall, and nearly half of them showed a different view of a couple having sex somewhere in the prison.

How he hated them all. Deidara and Sasori were enjoying the green room with it's exotic plants and hammock bed, completely unaware of how much work _he_ had put into making that room so damn special. Kisame and Suigetsu, the disgusting father and son, had already done it once, and were on their second round. Sure, he was in love with his own brother, but at least he wasn't in lusting after his father!

Finally he caught a glimpse of the guards on one of the monitors. He looked harder at the screen, trying to figure out where they were. He then saw a cell door open, and Karin stepped out, holding back Aki and Ueno.

Sono turned away from the screens like he always did when he caught sight of those two. It hurt him more than he could describe, and it just made him hate the prison and everyone in it even more. He took his eyes away from the monitors just in time to miss what was happening outside of Karin's cell.

The guards were two very large, but not entirely moronic, men. Both were broad shouldered and thick skinned, they looked like they could've been body guards if they had wanted to. It seemed as if they were the only guards stationed inside the prison that night, everyone else was patrolling at the front entrance. As Karin opened her cell door the guard on the right was smiling while the one on the left had a look of complete aloofness on his face.

"Let us out!" Aki and Ueno yelled in unison. A vein began to pulse in Karin's neck as she pushed the twins back into the room behind her. The guard on the left held out a ring of keys and the one on the right raised an eyebrow.

"Everybody else is partying tonight. Should we be left out of the fun?" he asked.

Karin smiled and behind her glasses her eyes flashed. Suddenly she hopped forward and wrapped her arms around the smiling guards shoulders.

"Tomoe!"

When they broke apart she turned back to the monotonous guard and said,

"Morinaga, thanks for babysitting!"

"They're good kids." he replied monotonously.

Karin just giggled as Tomoe whisked her off her feet and carried her to the guard room. When Morinaga entered the cell, three children pounced on him instantly.

"What's going on out there?" Mei asked insistently.

Morinaga cracked a smile as Mei, Aki, and Ueno glared at him.

"You don't want to know." he replied. "How about we just play a board game until your mother comes back."

"We already started a game of Scrabble with Jugo and Kabuto. Oro's winning of course."

"Oh?" Morinaga looked up to see Kabuto and Jugo wave at him. "Karin made it seem like everyone was out... doing stuff."

"She was just exaggerating because she wanted to be with Tomoe." Kabuto rolled his eyes.

"Morinaga!" Mei tugged on his shirt lightly. "Tell us about the outside again!"

Kabuto and Jugo gave the guard warning glances. Morinaga just laughed and patted her on the head.

"Someday you'll see it yourself."

"How do you know?" she pouted.

He pointed over to Chibi-oro who was concentrating very hard on what to make out of his letters. The guard then whispered in Mei's ear,

"The other day I heard Oro saying he would get you out of here no matter what it took."

Mei's eyes widened, then she smiled.

"Yeah!"

* * *

Kakuzu sucked viciously at the tender, sensitive skin around Hidan's nipples. He left mark after mark, claiming for the billionth time that Hidan was his and belonged in no ones arms but his. He wished the marks he made on his lovers body would never go away, but then again, then he'd never get to make more. Finally Hidan moaned in his arms and pushed back so he could look down at his chest. When he saw the hickeys Kakuzu had just made his pink eyes widened and he said,

"I wanna make one!"

Kakuzu rolled his eyes as Hidan leaned down and licked then bite lightly on tan skin. After a minute Kakuzu grew bored and his hand drifted towards Hidan's waist, then lower to his backside. Hidan gasped, then pulled back, looking for the mark he made. When he didn't see anything on Kakuzu's skin he pouted.

"Stupid thing isn't working." He growled.

Kakuzu just chuckled, pushed Hidan so he was laying on his back, and moved his mouth so it was inches above his lovers pant line. He stared Hidan down with acid eyes as he spoke softly,

"You have to use your lips, not your tongue. The trick is the suction."

He proceeded to show Hidan exactly how it was done, slowly moving downwards until finally he got to use his sucking skills in another manner. For a minute Hidan just writhed beneath him, then finally,

"Kakuzu! Fuck! I can't take it anymore! You've gotta shove something inside me now!"

Even Kakuzu, who was used to his lover's vulgarity by now was a bit taken aback by this particular sentence. That of course didn't stop his from inserting his fingers right that moment. Hidan clawed at the floor as Kakuzu quickly prepared him and readied himself to enter. He groaned as he felt Hidan's entrance constrict around his fingers as he removed them. It was like Hidan was twitching for him to enter. He quickly pushed past the ring of muscle and slammed into his screaming lover with all the force he had.

"Fuck yeah! Kakuzu! I'm gonna cum already!" Hidan's voice cracked as he was pounded into repeated and without mercy.

"You're acting like a nymphomaniac, idiot. Have some better restraint." Kakuzu teased.

"I can't! Bastard! You're too damn good! AAAAHH!!"

Kakuzu lifted Hidan into his arms and squeezed him as tight as he could, nearly shutting off his airway and making him pass out. Hidan gasped for air as Kakuzu loosened his hold him and said smartly,

"I would tell you to try and recite Pi in your head to help you calm down, but somehow I don't think you know Pi, so I have to make you calm down myself if I want this to last long at all."

"The fuck is pie? There aint any pie here. That hurt, asshole!"

Kakuzu smiled, kissed Hidan on the corner of his mouth and said, "My point is proven." He then went back to thrusting himself deeper inside his lover. Hidan instantly started moaning and digging his fingers into the ridges of his lover's skin.

A few seconds later he came furiously, shaking his head and yelling at the top of his lunges, completely surprising Kakuzu. As he hung his head and began panting Kakuzu scowled and mocked,

"I thought you said that hurt?"

"Didn't say it felt bad..." Hidan replied.

Kakuzu groaned and muttered, "Stupid masochistic freak..."

"That's funny coming from the sick sadist still horny as hell inside me."

Kakuzu thrust roughly and Hidan whimpered then glared playfully. Kakuzu suddenly began stroking Hidan's back and moving slowly inside him, making sure to rub his prostate as he did. Hidan shuddered as he felt Kakuzu's rippling muscles slide against his body.

"Hmph," Kakuzu muttered as he nibbled on the corner of Hidan's ear, "Now I have to go through all the trouble of getting you hard again."

"I love you."

Kakuzu halted his thrusting and touching of Hidan and scowled in confusion.

"That was random." he said flatly.

Hidan's face went from a scowl to a smile quickly as he laughed. "It's 12:34. You're supposed to tell someone you love 'um at 12:34. Get it, 1, 2, 3, 4?"

"Oh," Kakuzu muttered, "So that's the only reason then?"

They locked eyes then Hidan smiled lightly.

"Nah, I just love you. You make me too horny for me not to love you. If you aren't attracted to someone then you shouldn't love them like I love you."

"That's pretty deep coming from someone like you." Kakuzu replied.

"I know, right! Damn, I'm smarter than you think!"

"Sure you are." Kakuzu joked as he leaned down to place kisses along Hidan's neck. Through moans Kakuzu heard Hidan mumble,

"Do you love me?"

Kakuzu stopped and locked his eyes with Hidan's.

"Yes. My one true heart will always belong to you... and I'll give you proof..." he thrust suddenly and held Hidan close to him, "but after this..."

Chills flew up Hidan's spine as Kakuzu's manhood pounded into him for the rest of the night until finally they had both cum so much they barely had any energy left. Before they drifted to sleep Kakuzu sat up and moved to the other side of the room for a few minutes. Hidan noticed he was missing his lover's warmth and sat up blearily, ignoring the dull ache in his backside. He saw Kakuzu in a corner and went over to him.

"Wha are you doin'?" he asked as he rubbed his eyes and yawned sleepily.

Kakuzu turned around, holding a wooden box in one hand. As he opened it he said firmly,

"Proof."

* * *

And that... was the last straw for Sono Yamada.

They say the people who guard a mental hospital always become a little bit crazy themselves. Well then, what happens if you guard a mental hospital full of murderers?

* * *

**First of all, let me clarify about Karin getting with that guard: BITCH DESERVES IT. SHE FUCKING GOT BETRAYED AND ALMOST KILLED, OK! Ehem, *spoiler warning, btw***

**So... Sasuke sacrificed her in the manga, and I realized that she didn't have anyone in my story, so I gave her someone. Even if just a random OC... at least she seems happy. So no, I don't give a FUCK if you think straight sex is gross, because I LOVED Karin and she will be missed. Unless of course she's not gonna die. In which case... well yeah that'd just be cool. **

**Also, sorry about the cliffhanger, because it might take me a while to update. Just know that I will never, ever abandon a story on fan fiction. Ever. That's annoying and fucking stupid and I would never do it to you people. **

**Happy Valentine's Day!(my most despised holiday)**

**That's all for now. Peace out.**

**KeikoPanda102**


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter 46: Up Up Up

The next morning all of Kure-Ji-Kira was silent and calm. Even the rowdy children slept in, seemingly persuaded by the atmosphere of peace. It was quite plainly the calm before the storm. Only Leader was aware of the aura surrounding the building. He watched Konan as she slept next to him in the bed. It would begin any moment.

The morning guards were arriving outside to switch places with the night guards, yet none of the night guards were awake to trade places. The arriving guards patiently waited outside for some sign as to what they were supposed to do.

Slowly the inmates and guards began to awake. The pairs of lovers in bed awoke in the arms of the ones they had gone to bed with the night before. Naruto sat up first and stretched as the run rose in the sky above the fence locking him inside. Next to him, Sasuke seemed determined to soak up the last bits of sleep and night that he could. Naruto smiled and felt once again that he made the right choice in sticking by the person most important to him.

Kakuzu stared down at Hidan as a bit of drool dripped out of the Jashinist's wide mouth. Kakuzu snorted as a smile swiftly passed across his face. He traced a finger across Hidan's bare chest and muttered the word, "Mine..." quietly to himself.

Karin awoke in exact time with Tomoe, the guard she had fallen for. Just as they locked lips in a gentle morning after kiss, the door of their room was busted open and the other night guard, Morinaga, broke into the room, screaming frantically,

"The twins are gone!"

Konan leapt out of bed, a fierce, passionate anger growing in her eyes. No one messed with her children. After searching as much as she could throughout the prison she threw open the door to the blue room and cranked the lights on. Kisame sat up blearily but Suigetsu continued snoozing his way on the bed.

"Wazwrong?" Kisame asked through blurry eyes. Karin ignored him and grabbed Suigetsu by the shoulders, shaking him viciously and yelling,

"WHERE ARE MY CHILDREN!?"

"Huh?" Suigetsu finally muttered when he awoke. She just shook him harder and repeated,

"WHERE ARE MY CHILDREN YOU USELESS FATHER!?!"

"Calm down woman!" Suigetsu finally grumbled when he noticed he was being screamed at first thing in the morning. "What the hell are you going on about?"

"Aki and Ueno!" She shrieked, "They're gone!"

"I bet they're just playing hide and seek somewhere. Stupid bitch, you worry to much!" Suigetsu yawned as he tried to lay back down.

"Who're you calling a bitch you lazy piece of crap!? I looked everywhere for them and I can't find them! Ueno would never be able to hide for me for this long, even if Aki made him! Something's up! It's a mother's intuition!" Karin yelled.

"Oi, oi, oi!" Suigetsu muttered as he stood up and tried to put his pants on as quick as he could. "Don't blow a gasket you whack-job. We'll go look for 'em, alright?"

"Who's we?" Kisame asked as he laid back down.

"You're coming too!" Suigetsu said as he threw a shoe at Kisame. Kisame groaned but got out of bed anyways.

"I'm going to go ask if anyone else has seen them." Karin muttered nervously as she exited the room. A few moments later when Kisame and Suigetsu finally left the Blue Room they heard a collective gasp coming from the main room of the prison. They glanced down the hallway just in time to share shocked and nervous glances with Kakuzu and Hidan, both of whom had just left their room as well. All four men started running down the hall. They busted into the Main room just in time to hear Mei scream,

"HELP!"

Hidan and Kakuzu's eyes shot open just as they beheld the sight before them: Sono Yamada was in the center of the common room, standing on top of a table, and holding a gigantic butcher's knife dangerously pressed against the fragile flesh of Aki, Ueno, and Mei's throats. Mei's scream for help died away the second he pressed the blade closer to her skin.

Sono gave a sickening smile before he glanced up and noticed that Kakuzu and Hidan had just entered the room. He chuckled as he said,

"Hidan? Kakuzu? Glad you could join us! Did you have a nice night?"

Hidan clenched his fists and opened his mouth to scream, "You basta-!"

Sono cut him off. "Oh no. No cussing in front of the children."

Hidan readied himself to rush forward and save his daughter, ignoring Sono's warning, but then he felt Kakuzu's hand on his shoulder. When he glared up at his husband Kakuzu just nodded towards the sides of the room. Hidan turned his head to see around 50 armed guards, all pointing their guns at the crowd of prison inmates. He even noticed that the two guards who had become friends with the members of Akatsuki were being held captive by some of the other men.

Hidan bit his tongue and glanced back up towards Sono, whose smile just grew wider. All of the room was silent, waiting for the prison warden's next move. The was a collective gasp when he pushed Aki and Ueno away from him and they feel off the table and into the people. Kisame caught them both before they hit the ground, and then they instantly turned around and yelled in panicked voices,

"Mei!"

They tried to reach out to her but Kisame held them back for fear of Sono's retaliation. As he held the knife even closer to her throat he stared down at the twins and spoke in a voice thick with depravity.

"Neither of you twins ever did anything to me, and I truly have nothing against your parents, besides the fact that they are sick individuals. No... I just hated looking at you, because you reminded me of what this little _bitch's_ father cost me! My dear brother. My twin. _Murdered_, for no reason except an attempted escape. And from what? My brother created a heaven for you cretinous, filthy, disgusting criminals, _and yet you still wanted to escape?_ I tried, really I did, to keep my brother's dream alive. To keep you all happy and keep the prison and website running smoothly. I continued his work, and didn't even seek vengeance for his death, because he instructed me not to! This child-"

He shook Mei in anger and both Hidan and Kakuzu jumped forward a little,

"-this abomination of science, was Seiji's greatest achievement. He barely cared that he died for it. _But I did care!_ My brother was the only thing important to me! He was my only reason for living! **HE WAS EVERYTHING!**!!!"

The second Yamada's voice echoed off the stone walls of giant common room. No one knew what would happen next. Naruto's hand tightened around Sasuke's, and they glanced towards each other. Sono closed his eyes for half a second, and continued speaking,

"I tried... brother. I need to get revenge now. I need-"

"_RAAAAAAAHHH!!!" _

From inside the crowd burst Chibi-Oro, who screamed at the top of his lungs as he leapt through the air and tackled Sono off the table, knocking all three of them to the floor in a second. Hidan's heart leapt through his chest. He couldn't see Mei anymore! What had happened? He tried to push his way through the crowd, but it was almost impossible.

The second Orochi had let loose his scream, all hell had broken loose.

Guns were firing, people were running and screaming, smoke was filling the room and Hidan was lost. He felt someone grad his arm and turned to see Kakuzu nod to him and pull him in an unnamed direction. Hidan followed, dodging fist fights and falling bodies as he went.

Pein was the only one who seemed to understand what to do. He kept a cool head and tried to help any member of Akatsuki he could; the other inmates were on their own. He held Konan under his arm as he made his way, followed quickly by Tobi and Zetsu, to the exit. A guard stepped in his way, blocking the path, but when the guard lifted his head, his piercings glinted in the fluorescent lights. Pein and Konan smiled as the guard led them safely outside.

"We always knew you had an inside man." Zetsu muttered as he passed Pein on his right. Pein just smirked and replied, "I have a few, actually."

The second the first gun had been shot, Sasuke tackled Naruto and made sure he was safe on the ground, now they were both crawling across the floor and through people's legs, trying to find a way out of the madness. A guard stopped them, and Sasuke prepared to defend himself and Naruto if he had to. But the guard smiled and led them until they met up with Sasori and Deidara, who had been led by one of Pein's guards as well. They had almost been caught as they left the room, but their enemy was nearly blown up by Deidara and poisoned by Sasori before he could do anything to them.

Suigetsu, Kisame, Karin, Juugo, the two guards, with Aki and Ueno, found a way out themselves, and ran from the prison as fast as they could, not looking back once. The twins worried endlessly about their friends but every time they brought it up their grandfather told them that no child of Hidan's would die by a knife.

When Hidan and Kakuzu finally reached where Orochi had knocked Sono, they witnessed the two children on top of the insane prison warden, beating the crap out of him. Mei even had a slightly wicked look in her eye and reached for the knife. Suddenly, and before Hidan and Kakuzu got through the struggling inmates and guards, Kabuto reached them and tore Orochi off of Sono. He picked up his child and rushed through the smoke until he was out of sight. Now with only Mei fighting him, Sono had the strength to stand again. Mei glared blood-red eyes at him as she held the butcher knife in defense.

Sono towered over the child of only 8 years old and smirked before tensing his muscles in preparation for a deathly kick. Then, his face fell, and his eyes glowed with real fear when both Kakuzu and Hidan stood full force behind their daughter, seething anger and the intensity only a criminal could produce. Oh, they wanted to hill Sono Yamada more than anyone had ever wanted to kill anyone. _This bastard had threatened their daughter. _That was **not** okay.

In the back round they all heard gunshots, then Kakuzu crumpled over, holding his leg and his side as blood rushed out of the wounds.

"DADDY!" Mei screamed.

Yamada used this distraction to turn and flee, but Hidan would not tolerate that. He instructed Mei as he ran after Sono,

"I'll be back ina seck, look after your Dad! Don't let that asshole die!"

Hidan rushed through the swarms of people and saw a few of the inmates had been caught and put in handcuffs, while others still fought. Some had just been mercilessly killed, and lay dead on the floor. Hidan ignored this and followed Sono until he was close enough to tackle him, sending him crashing to the ground, and breaking his jaw as he did.

Sono's face screwed up in pain, but Hidan just held him down and yelled,

"OPEN YOUR EYES YOU MOTHER FUCKER! YOU'RE GONNA SEE ME AS I KILL YOUR PATHETIC ASS!"

Sono's eyes widened and his heart almost stopped before Hidan had a chance to plunge the knife he had grabbed from Mei into said heart. Hidan bent down to whisper into a dead man's ear,

"You're fucking lucky I had to do this quick, cuz usually, I like to make it hurt a whole hell of a lot more."

Hidan somehow avoided guards and bullets as he ran quickly back to where Kakuzu lay bleeding on the ground. Mei had tears streaming down her cheeks as Kakuzu quietly tried to comfort her. Hidan was out of breath and panting when he almost collapsed on the blood covered floor next to his family.

"Get up!" His strained voice cracked as he tried to command Kakuzu.

Kakuzu just smiled and pulled the collar of Hidan's jumpsuit down so he could whisper into his lover's ear. Hidan's eyes widened and his voice somehow returned enough to yell,

"No! Hell no am I-"

"Yes!" Kakuzu growled. "Now!"

"Not without y-!"

"Over there! There's a few more over there!" Hidan glanced up to see a few guards point at them from across the room. He cursed to himself as he pulled Mei into his arms.

"Go!" Kakuzu commanded gruffly.

Hidan felt tears rolling off his face in puddles as he bent down and kissed Kakuzu once more before standing up and running towards the exit without looking back.

He didn't really know how he made it out of the prison and far enough away for them to be safe without getting caught. He just remembered Kakuzu's last, whispered message to him, and it kept him going.

"As long as it's beating, I'm still alive."

Hidan stroked Mei's hair as he clutched the wooden box Kakuzu had given him just the night before tightly in his bloodied hand. Inside... was Kakuzu's still beating heart.

* * *

**Well isn't that just dandy? Don't question how its still beating... it just is.**

**Please review! **

**KeikoPanda102!**


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter 47: Remember the Name

The first thing Hidan did after making sure both he and Mei were safe and far enough away from Kure-Ji-Kira was to find them different clothes. They needed to completely erase anything that linked them to Kure-Ji-Kira, but all the while they did that, Hidan could not stop thinking about Kakuzu.

Even a whole year later and Hidan still worried about his love. He checked the box containing Kakuzu's true heart, his proof of love for Hidan, to make sure it was still beating. It pounded steadily every time and put Hidan's own heart at ease just a little. Even so, he wished he had more information. If he just knew where Kakuzu was he would feel better, but then again he knew he would just go and try to find him if he did know.

Hidan had to focus on keeping both him and Mei safe and alive, which proved to be far more difficult than it would seem.

Hidan had taken Mei as far from Kure-Ji-Kira as he could and they had settled down all alone in a huge nearby city. Hidan made sure they kept their heads down for some time after escaping since he could hear the people in the town talking about the mass breakout from the local prison. After a month or two it calmed down and when Hidan thought he hadn't heard anything in a while he allowed both him and Mei to stop hiding as much.

Hidan soon figured out that he needed a job and something to do with Mei while he was looking for one. Two months after their escape he sent her to the public elementary school around the corner from where they were living. The first day Hidan picked her up from the school she was scowling as she said,

"I don't like school, Dad."

Already being in a bad mood from having no luck at finding work he growled in response,

"How come?"

"It's really boring. I mean, everyone was paying attention to me and staring at me but they seemed like they were scared of me or something."

Hidan glanced down at her and slid his eyes over the black scar on her cheek. He sighed. When he was younger his parents had tried putting him in school too. Not only did he curse out his teachers and the other students, he nearly killed a kid for calling him a pale, white-haired freak. He didn't want to think about what Mei would do to someone if they made fun of her. Especially since he made her carry around a pocket knife at all times for her own safety.

"Damn..." He muttered as he rubbed his forehead. "Wish I could let you stay at home but I really don't know what Id do if something happened to you and I left you all alone. You're gonna have to keep going. Try to make a friend or whatever."

Mei nodded, wishing she could do something to help her Dad, and wishing her Daddy was there to take care of both of them.

"What kind of job are you trying to get?" She asked, looking up at Hidan and smiling.

When she smiled at him like that, Hidan was really glad he hadn't killed her when she was a baby.

"I'm not good at much, so I don't really know. I just went around today and tried to find something. I'm fucking worried we're gonna caught someday too."

"If someone tries to get you, Dad, I'll just cut the bastard up!" Mei smirked as she pulled out her pocket knife, opened it, and slid the smooth edge alone her thumb.

Hidan laughed then thought of something.

"Erm... Mei, try not to say words like 'bastard' in school, huh? I don't think teachers like it."

"Ok!" She nodded happily.

The next day, Hidan was called into the school to meet with Mei's teacher, a young woman with long dark hair and eyes that made her look like a stupid dog. She wasn't very strict or mean, she just seemed upset as Hidan sat down across from her and next to a nervous looking Mei.

"Today Mei called another girl in her class the 'B' word."

Hidan turned on Mei and scowled, "I told you not to use words like that, dummy!"

"Nuh-uh! You said not to say bastard not bitch!" Mei replied, sticking her tongue out.

"Mei!" the shocked teacher replied.

"Sorry Miss Kaplan..." Mei bent her head. Hidan rolled his eyes and looked back at the teacher saying,

"I'll come up with a list of words she shouldn't use tonight. It's not really her fault for not understanding why they're bad."

"Ok..." The teacher said warily. Hidan picked Mei up and carried her as they walked home. She fell asleep on his shoulder then when they got back home he woke her up.

"Aren't you a little old to be falling asleep on my shoulder?"

"So what?" She asked snarkily. He smiled then became serious.

"Okay. I'm need to teach you how to blend in with other kids normally. Firstly, you shouldn't say bad words like bastard, bitch, fuck, damn, shit, hell, and whore."

"Why are those bad words? Everyone always used them all the time back at our old home. Especially you!" She asked.

"They're only bad for kids, like you."

"But you said Jashin loves bad words!" Mei said, obviously becoming frustrated.

Hidan opened his mouth to reply but then stopped. He patted the bow in Mei's hair that was adorned with the Jashinist symbol then unclipped it and put in on a shelf next to her bed. He also took off his rosary and laid it next to her bow.

"For right now... you can't talk that much about Jashin-sama."

"But-!"

"Shut up." He said, though not very harshly. "You need to trust me, ok."

"Lord Jashin might hate us, Dad..." She whispered nervously.

"No, he won't." Hidan replied firmly. "Just do this for a little while until we find Kakuzu. Then, we can cause all the pain and destruction we want for Jashin-sama forever."

Mei pouted for a minute then nodded. Hidan nodded back then stood up and left the room to go make dinner. Mei made sure Hidan was busy, then went over to a drawer and pulled it open. Inside was a collection of pieces of glass Mei had found on the ground around their apartment building. She had cleaned them so they were clear and sparkly. She loved the way glass looked, and the way it felt. She really loved things that were smooth and shiny more than anything. Also, there was something about glass that always reminded her of Orochi, and the way his glasses had shone when he tackled Yamada and rescued her. Yeah, she had really liked that...

* * *

Life passed uneventfully for a while. Mei went to school, and somehow Hidan found a job working as a phone sex operator in the day and a bartender at a gay bar at night. He found both jobs while looking in the cities local gay newspaper. They weren't the best jobs but it did give Hidan more than enough money. He and Mei spent it quite frivolously though. They travelled a lot and bought as many things as they wanted. Hidan wondered what Kakuzu's reaction would be if he ever found them using his precious money that way.

Finally the time came for Mei's 10th birthday. That was when things really began to get interesting.

It was two days before her birthday when something finally came along that made Hidan go back to really being his old self. He was working a double shift at his bar when in walked Sasori and Deidara.

"Why do we have to come to a bar like this? You know I can't dance." Sasori complained as Deidara held him by the hand and pulled him towards the floor.

"But you can watch _me _dance, un!" Deidara replied. Sasori smirked.

"Well I do like th-" His eyes suddenly found Hidan behind the bar and he yelled, "HIDAN?"

Hidan glanced up curiously, then when he saw Sasori waving at him he instantly climbed over the counter and started running towards them.

"Hey Hidan!" he boss yelled, "Get back here or you're fired!"

"You can suck it!" Hidan yelled back, his heart racing. "I'm quitting this shit hole anyway!"

Deidara and Sasori ran towards him and when he reached them he threw his arms around them both, laughing the whole time. Both Deidara and Hidan tried to talk at once and then finally Sasori barked,

"Shut up! Let Hidan talk. But first we should really go outside."

Deidara rolled his eyes but nodded anyway. They walked out the front door and Hidan said excitedly,

"Nothing's really been happening to us. We've been laying low. What about you guys though! Is- is Kakuzu-?"

"No. Kakuzu isn't with us. We thought he would be with you." Sasori scowled.

"We got separated as we were trying to escape." Hidan said softly his heart falling.

Both Sasori and Deidara were silent for a moment then Deidara spoke up lightly muttering, "Hidan, un. He might be... dead, yeah?"

"No." Hidan replied fiercely. "That bastards not fucking dead. If I know anything I know that!"

Sasori smirked. "Yeah. He'd never be the one to die easily anyway."

Hidan smiled then asked, "So it's just you two then? Where's everyone else? The rest of Akatsuki?"

"We're all together. We're staying at Leader-sama, er, Nagato's house." Sasori explained.

"All of you?"

"Yeah. Leader-sama's house is huge! You have to come see it. un! I'm sure he would let you stay there too! We were actually looking for you guys for a while but we never got any leads or anything, yeah. How's Mei doing? Is she big now? How old is she, un?"

Hidan's mind was reeling. Pein would let them stay at his house? With everyone from Akatsuki? They were bound to find Kakuzu faster if they were all together! He smiled and replied,

"This is perfect! I have to go tell Mei now! She'll be so happy to see you all!"

"She's doing good then?" Sasori asked, a light smile coming across his lips.

"She's turning 10 in two-" Hidan stopped and looked thoughtful for a second. "Wait! I just had a fucking brilliant idea! You guys can all come and surprise her for her birthday! This is perfect! She's been kind of depressed lately and this will totally cheer her up!"

Both Sasori and Deidara agree to Hidan's idea and after talking a little more they part ways, Hidan going home early because he had just been fired. When he got home he saw an empty ramen packet on the counter and saw Mei's light on in her room.

"Mei!" he yelled.

"Dad?" She asked as she poked her head out of her bedroom door.

"What do you want to do for your birthday?"

Mei looked down, suddenly depressed. She was remembering back when she was in Kure-Ji-Kira, birthdays were always fun, because everyone would come and have fun. She didn't really have any friends that she liked at school, and she felt like a party with just her dad would be kind of lame.

"Nothing." She replied.

"Okay." Hidan shrugged as he replied. Mei was taken aback for a moment, thinking Hidan would at least insist on taking her out to eat or something, then she just ignored her suspicion and retreated back to her room. Hidan tried not to let his good mood show too much, but he was smiling as he opened his own pack of ramen and tossed the noodles into boiling water.

Two days later, on Mei's birthday, Hidan picked her up from school and as they got on the subway told her that they were going to visit some friends of his.

"From the phone sex or the gay bar?" She asked jokingly.

Hidan glared playfully then smirked. "The gay bar."

"You aren't cheating on Daddy are you?"

"Course not!" Hidan replied in an aghast voice.

Mei laughed. "I know! You still talk to his box. You still love him."

Hidan glanced at her curiously. Since when had she heard him talking to Kakuzu's heart? He smiled. She was just too damn smart sometimes. He wondered how she could really be his child.

When they reached the right station and got outside, a car came right up to the sidewalk and honked at them. Hidan and Mei got in and the driver, who had quite a few nice piercings Hidan noticed, took them exactly where they were trying to go.

"A driver?" Mei asked, now becoming much more interested. "Who are we seeing again."

"Some old friends." Hidan replied and couldn't help himself from smirking.

When they arrived and Mei saw the house they were going to she nervously asked Hidan, "Dad, are you sure I should be with you?"

"Oh yeah. They said they wanted to see you." Hidan replied.

Hidan was really excited as they walked towards the door. The past year had been very boring and he knew it was hard for Mei to live with just him. It had probably been really boring.

Hidan knocked on the front door and they heard some arguing coming from behind it. Suddenly the door was thrown open and two flashes of pink burst out and tackled Mei, shouting:

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEI!"

Both Aki and Ueno landed on top of Mei as she crashed to the ground. They were chanting her name as they both tried to give her hugs and kisses at the same time. When she finally realized what was happening, she looked towards Hidan with wide eyes and he smiled. She then smiled so big it was like her face might break.

"Aki!" She cried when they finally let her sit up. "Ueno!"

"Mei!" They shouted in unison. "We missed you so much!"

"I missed you guys to!" She then looked inside the house and her heart beat faster. "Is... is everyone else here... too?"

"Yup!" They answered then each gave her a hand to help her off the ground. She walked inside to find nearly all of Akatsuki smiling back at her. Hidan was high-fiving Suigetsu and Kisame in the back.

First She saw Sasori and Deidara. She ran to them and hugged them both. They explained to her how they met up with Hidan and told her happy birthday. She then saw Tobi, Zetsu, Sasuke, and Naruto. They all gave her hugs too and wished her happy birthday. The whole time she went around the room Aki and Ueno followed her, beaming.

"Aunt Karin! Aunt Konan!" She cried, her smile simply growing even wider. "Where is Uncle Pein?" She asked after hugging Konan.

"You can call me Nagato now." A voice said from behind Konan. Mei became a bit confused when a thin man she didn't know stepped out and smiled at her.

"Hi Mei." He said tentatively. "I am the real body of Pein."

She seemed nervous at first, but then her smile returned.

"Then are you going to wish me happy birthday Uncle Nagato?"

He smiled and replied, "Happy birthday Mei."

Konan then looked like she remembered something and led Mei to a smaller room off to the side of the main entrance. In a cradle that hung from the ceiling there was a tiny baby, sound asleep, with dark blue hair. Mei's eyes widened and she stuttered,

"I- I didn't think it'd b- been this long since I saw everyone!"

Konan just smiled, obviously ecstatic and overwhelmed with happiness. Mei understood how she felt.

"I'm already pregnant again." Konan whispered to her. "But don't tell anyone yet."

They shared a giggle then as they left the room, Aki and Ueno appeared. They had been waiting outside the door for her. Mei glanced around the room until she saw Kisame, Suigetsu, and Juugo.

"Hey kiddo!" Suigetsu chuckled.

She hugged them each for a while, then something seemed to glint in the corner. Her heart beat even faster from all the excitement as she made her way over to Kabuto. He patted her head and said,

"You sure got bigger, huh?"

"Is...?" She couldn't seem to get the words out. Kabuto found it very amusing.

"He's outside. In the garden. He said something about not wanting to get in your way while you said hi to everyone. Seems like he's just shy though, since he was really determined to see you today."

She nodded, her mouth hanging slightly open. Aki and Ueno appeared by her side once again and Ueno pouted.

"You really wanna see _him_ that bad?"

She just nodded, smiling. Aki rolled his eyes at Ueno and the latter shrugged in reply. Mei walked outside and into the garden. The light shone into her eyes and she heard some water running like in a small stream. She looked around and saw that there was a stream in what Kabuto had called 'the garden'. There was also a tree, and under that tree, she could just see the glint of Orochi's glasses as he stared at her with his animal, yellow eyes. He didn't smile, but she was probably smiling enough for the both of them as she ran towards him and hugged him tight.

"I never got to say thank you." She muttered breathily.

"Don't worry about it." He said cooly. "I will always protect you."

Mei's eyes, which had been blood-red ever since their escape from the prison, looked almost exactly the color of her blush as she stared into Orochimaru's.

"OI!" They suddenly heard Hidan call from the house. "WHY IS IT SO DAMN COZY UNDER THAT TREE?"

Both Mei and Orochi turned and stuck there tongues out at Hidan who only fumed about it for a minute until the sight of Mei so happy made him relax.

Nearly everything was perfect. The only thing missing was... Kakuzu.

* * *

**Hey yo! Uuuum. Woot! Everyone's back together! A little older! Stuff! Yeah!**

**Review and yeah! Un!**

**KeikoPan- DEIDARA HAS TAKEN CONTROL OF THIS STORY UN! BE PREPARED YEAH!**


	48. Chapter 48

Chapter 48: Naruto Shippuden Ending 10(go look it up)

"Really, Dad?" Mei nearly shrieked into Aki's ear. "I don't have to go to school anymore?"

"Nope! We've got masters of almost anything you need to know right here. Plus there's Oro who's just a fucking genius. Aki and Ueno have been learning from him and Kisame, so now I guess you can too."

As Hidan walked away to go mess with Deidara Mei turned to Aki and Ueno and asked,

"What kinda stuff is Uncle Kisame teaching you?"

"Science mostly. Especially anatomy. We get to dissect all kinds of stuff!" Ueno replied.

"I like the chemistry. We've been starting to learn how to put elements together to make certain compounds." Aki added.

"I don't know if I really like science all that much..." Mei muttered. "I like to fight and I'm really good at sneaking around and lying. What kind of class would that be?"

Both Aki and Ueno shrugged in response. Mei then noticed Orochi over in the corner and walked towards him, Aki and Ueno obediently following after her. While Mei began talking to Orochi about his favorite subject Aki whispered to Ueno, then Ueno giggled and nodded suspiciously.

"I mostly like writing. I think I might be a novelist. From the sound of what you like to do you could be an actor or a spy or something. Maybe go into-"

"ORO AND MEI, SITTIN' IN A TREE! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! FIRST COMES LOVE, THEN COMES MARRIAGE, THEN COMES A BABY IN A BABY-CARRIAGE!"

Mei blushed angrily as both Aki and Ueno roll onto the ground laughing together. Orochi stood up from beneath the tree in the garden and crossed his arms over his chest as he looked down on the twins with contempt.

"You two can't talk. _Especially_ about kissing in trees." He whispered so Mei couldn't hear what he said.

The color drained from both the twins faces. "You saw?" Aki asked. Orochi just nodded his head with a cool confidence.

"Don't make fun of Mei anymore or I'll tell her about you two."

The twins both nodded their heads up and down quickly. Orochi smirked, pushed his glasses up, then called back to Mei who was watching them all with a confused look on her face.

"Let's go watch some tv, Mei."

She glanced once more at Aki and Ueno, wondering what Orochi could have said to them to make them look so tweaked, then followed Orochi inside.

As they stepped inside they saw Naruto and Sasuke heading out the door.

"Bye Mei!" Naruto waved cheerfully.

"Where are you going?" She asked, a bit upset that they were leaving, since she had just gotten there.

"Well, we don't even live here." The blonde replied. "We just came to visit and see you because we were worried about you after the escape."

"Where do you live then?" She asked.

"In another town not far from here." Sasuke said through a yawn.

"All of our old friends live there and they helped us hide out for a while until our escape calmed down." Naruto added.

"Will you come and visit again?" She asked hopefully.

"Believe it!" Naruto said with a wink.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and pulled Naruto out the door muttering, "Come on, Dobe."

Hidan, who had been talking to Nagato, Kisame, and Konan overheard Mei's conversation with Sasuke and Naruto and decided to ask the others something that had been on his mind for a while.

"I've been wondering..." he began, "How come there weren't any warrants for our arrest when we broke out? We were high security and stuff, weren't we?"

Kisame nodded and scowled. "I had been wondering the same thing. I think the reason was because of Sono Yamada's actions on our last day. The whole prison was privately owned and run, so the police really had no jurisdiction. Obviously they would want to warn the public if criminals were on the loose, but I just don't think they were in a real hurry to get us back. I don't think they had anywhere to put us, and I think they were a bit ashamed at the way we escaped."

Nagato and Konan nodded in agreement.

"Is... is Kure-Ji-Kira still open?" Hidan asked, instantly thinking about Kakuzu.

Konan sighed. "Well, there is _one_ way to find out." She went into her room then returned with her laptop. She got on the internet and typed in the URL for the old Kure-Ji-Kira porn sight. It seemed as if everyone's breath was held while the page loaded. Even Deidara, Sasori, Tobi, and Zetsu had come to see the situation.

The page finally loaded to see the same entry page as the first time Hidan had ever seen it. Except this time, instead of seeing himself, there was a much uglier boy shooting semen all over his chest. Hidan grimaced at the sight, and so did everyone else. This was the thing they had been desperate to leave behind.

"looks like it's still going. Who's running it though?" Konan asked.

"Maybe it'll show. Yamada always used to make video's of himself telling something about the video to someone was trying to watch." Nagato explained.

Suddenly, something caught Hidan's eye that nearly sent him into a frenzy.

"_Click there!_" he said hastily. Konan clicked to where he was indicating and as soon as it loaded, all of them gasped in disgust. Tobi covered his eye and Hidan had to hold himself back from killing the nearest thing to him.

The screen showed a freeze-frame of Kakuzu. Nude, covered in bruises, blood dripping from his mouth, tied to the wall and obviously drained of any power he had. And that was just the preview picture.

"It's a live video." Konan whispered. "Should I click it?"

Hidan just nodded, not trusting himself to be able to speak calmly just then. Konan clicked the video and instantly the picture changed from Kakuzu to a sleazy looking man in a cheap suit who said,

"Welcome! Thank you for funding Kure-Ji-Kira and I truly hope you enjoy this video. See, Kakuzu here tried to escape. _**Again**__._ As you probably know, that is not tolerated here at Kure-Ji-Kira. So, we've hooked Kakuzu up to the 'ole arousal machine. Now Kakuzu has a constant stream of adrenaline and hormone inducing drugs pumping through his body twenty-four seven, so he never goes limp, but of course he cannot climax either. Man, that must be painful! Also, he has a few wires set up so if his heart rate begins to decrease, he'll get a light little shock and wake right back up! So far this is his fourth hour of this. Let's see how long he can last this time!"

As the member's of Akatsuki watched, Kakuzu seemed to come a little bit out of a trance. His head bobbed up and down a bit then he seemed to tense. Next thing they knew he had spit on the nameless announcer then smirked.

"I'm not gonna play your stupid games. Keep me up here all you want, I'll find a way to get out and see Hidan."

Hidan felt his heart stop when he heard Kakuzu's voice through the computer. He even reached out and touched the screen, despite every one around him. All of a sudden, Tobi gasped.

"Tobi knows him! He was an inmate like us!"

Nagato and the others take another look at the announcer again and then they all nod.

"You're right. He is. How did that happen?"

Hidan wasn't paying attention. He was still staring dead at the screen where Kakuzu was getting hit across the face by some random inmate, then having obviously freezing water thrown on him. That set off the electric shock and it felt as if Hidan could feel the electricity just as much as Kakuzu. He couldn't breath until Konan placed a hand on his shoulder and gave him a concerned look. He relaxed and let himself exhale. Konan smiled then gave Hidan a determined look.

"So?" She asked. "Are we going or not?"

Hidan's reply was just to smirk and close the laptop. The others cheered and could feel the excitement build as they formulated plans for getting into the prison and getting out with Kakuzu.

Unfortunately, they didn't know that the kids had overheard everything, and were just then starting to make their own plans...

* * *

They left that day, Hidan practically screaming at Zetsu when he had preposed that they wait until they were more prepared. Hidan just kept seeing Kakuzu's face and hearing his voice and knew that he had left his lover in the prison far long enough. Just how many times had Kakuzu tried to escape? How many times had he been tortured for his attempts?

Hidan was determined to rescue his husband if it was the last thing he did. He gave Mei a hug and told her that he would be back with her father.

Little did he know that the second he left out the door, her, Orochi, and the twins all snuck around the back and climbed into the back of one of the vans they were all taking to get to Kure-Ji-Kira. Just as they were hiding themselves they heard,

"And what do you all think you're doing?"

"Damn it." Mei cursed as they all turned around and saw Suigetsu staring down at them with one raised eyebrow.

"So you guys want to help, huh?" He asked casually.

They nodded, wondering what exactly he could be thinking. He turned behind him to see Kisame walking over and he whispered to them as he shut the door,

"Don't you dare get in trouble or your mother would kill me."

All the kids exhaled as they heard the door lock and Kisame say,

"What're you doin' kid? It's almost time to go."

"I am so not a kid anymore, Old man." Suigetsu replied

"Aw, you'll always be _my_ kid." Kisame chuckled.

"The incest jokes are getting kinda old, you know." Suigetsu's voice started to fade and soon after the car turned on and began driving. Orochi knelt next to the other three kids and said confidently,

"So, does everyone know the plan?"

"We're going to rescue Usa-chan!" the twins cheered in unison.

"Sssshhh!" Mei shushed them then glanced towards the front of the van.

Orochi nodded then added, "And we need to try and help the grown ups as much as we can."

"Right!" the other three whispered cheerfully.

In the front of the van, Hidan was bouncing so much in his seat Pein was extra glad he didn't let Hidan drive. Hidan, in an attempt to distract himself, asked Pein,

"So how come you went back to your old body?"

"My true body is rather weak. I don't like to strain myself too much."

"Why'd you make Konan stay home?"

"She cannot be in danger." he scowled.

Hidan mirrored his scowl, thinking the same thing about the ones he loved. They should never be in danger either. The fact that he had let Kakuzu live alone for so long was so horrible that now he had a growing ball of anger and destruction swirling in his stomach. He knew the only thing that would make it go away was seeing Kakuzu.

They pulled the cars up to the side of the huge building and parked them in the shadows. Suigetsu went around and opened up the back of the van the kids were hiding in. he held up a finger to his mouth then whispered,

"Wait a few minutes to come out."

They all nodded as he closed the doors. After a minute or two they tried to open them and found that they had been locked inside somehow.

"Dad did that on purpose." Aki muttered in an annoyed tone.

"Now we just wait I guess." Mei said as she sat back against the side.

Suigetsu snickered as he walked along side Kisame and they snuck in the back guard entrance to the prison. Karin's husband and former guard had given them the keys and a map of the building. Luckily. no new security had been put in place in the year they had been gone.

They made their way past the therapy room and Kisame made a face as if he smelled something disgusting.

"It just feels wrong to be back here again."

Somehow, Suigetsu felt like his father was remembering his time with Itachi, so he took the man's blue hand in his and pulled him a little to the side.

"Where are we going?" Kisame asked.

"I promised the kids Id get them their rabbit back." Suigetsu replied.

"I'll come too." Karin said suddenly. "You guys wouldn't be able to find anything without me."

The three of them went to the left while the others kept going straight. After a minute of nothing Tobi whispered,

"Where is everybody? Tobi is a good boy..."

"They're going to see us on the camera's soon. We need to get Hidan as close as we can to the Black room before that happens." Pein instructed.

"The Black room? You think that's where Kakuzu is?" Hidan asked.

"I'm sure of it." Pein replied.

"The Black room, huh?" Hidan muttered. "Brings back memories."

Just as he spoke, alarms went off all around them, alerting them that they were about to be accosted by the prison guards. They took off at a run, down the hallway of the special rooms. As they are just going past the Blue room, guards rushed down the front of the hall and out behind them, trapping them in the middle. Their pack pushed forward, trying to reach the Black room door.

Suddenly, the door of the room they were trying to reach opened, and out stepped the new head of the prison who asked, "what's going on-?" just before Zetsu's slammed him against the wall and Hidan skidded through the now open door, closing it and having it lock instantly behind him.

As the sound of fighting became muffled, Hidan felt the familiar cool air hit has face as he panted, trying to regain his breath. After a minute he looked up at the room he had visited so many times with Kakuzu. It looked the same except for Kakuzu hanging on the wall on the other side of the room. He looked as if he was passed out for a moment and Hidan's heart leapt as he rushed over to him.

"Kakuzu you asshole wake up!"

Kakuzu seemed to snap out of his dead-like trance and lifted his head up just enough to see Hidan run towards him though blurry eyes. He chuckled.

"I must be dreaming. Hidan looks really hot in this dream..."

Next thing he knew, Kakuzu had Hidan's hand smacked across his face and yelling in his ear,

"Snap the fuck out of it!"

"Hidan?" Kakuzu muttered as his vision became more clear and he watched the Jashinist untying and removing the many chains and locks that were holding him up. Hidan didn't say anything as he focussed on getting Kakuzu out of the shock machine and away from the chemical's that were keeping him backed up. When the last chain fell and Kakuzu was released he nearly collapsed upon the ground. His entire body was weak except for his cock which was still unbearably hard from all the adrenaline rushing through his system. He stared at Hidan and tried to talk as he stuttered out,

"Hidan? It's- its really you? I tried to escape and come find you! I tried thousands of times but- Holy shit you looks so good right now. Is it bad that I wanna fuck you right this minute?"

"Shut up!" Hidan said. That was when Kakuzu noticed the white haired man had tears running from his pink eyes in pools. Hidan bit his lip as he struggled to lift Kakuzu into a standing position. Kakuzu exhaled then smiled.

"You telling me to shut up is funny. Why are you crying moron?"

Hidan glared just before he smashed his lips onto Kakuzu and let his tongue taste his lover's mouth for the first time in at least a year. Kakuzu was still a little too weak to really kiss him back but he still loved the feel of Hidan's lips on his. When Hidan pulled away his lower lip was trembling and his voice cracked when he said,

"I left you! I fucking left you here to rot in the shit-hole for a whole year! I'm a piece of shit and a douche-bag and just a fucking horrible dick and-"

"Hidan." Kakuzu interrupted. "I told you to go. Being alone in here was still better than having you and Mei live through this hell with me. I missed you both though. So, so much."

Suddenly Kakuzu groaned and winced, making Hidan glance down and notice the huge erection his lover was sporting. Hidan smirked and sat Kakuzu against the wall as he said,

"Can't be helped."

"What're you-? OH!" Kakuzu exclaimed as Hidan wrapped his lips around the swollen length. As Hidan continued to suck feverishly, Kakuzu felt some of his strength return. With each lick of Hidan tongue along his shaft he shuddered violently and clenched his fists in pleasure.

"Hidan- _ah_- You have no idea how long i've- _shit_- been wanting to feel you're lips around- _OH!_- me! I love you so much!!"

Hidan tried to say, "I love you too," but his mouth was a little busy at the moment, so he just hummed it and pushed Kakuzu straight over the edge. Kakuzu grabbed a hold of Hidan's hair and pulled as he spilled enormous amount of cum into his lover's mouth. Hidan started to choke as Kakuzu rode out his orgasm but pushed back his gag reflex until his mouth was full. He pulled away from the now flaccid dick and spit the cum onto the floor next to them.

Even though he was exhausted, Kakuzu still managed to pant out,

"Did I just see you spit Hidan? I'm going to have to retrain you to swallow all over again."

Hidan smiled then wrapped his arms around Kakuzu's neck until Kakuzu found enough strength to hold him as well. Not long after, they heard a banging on the door.

As Hidan helped him stand up and get some shorts on, Kakuzu muttered,

"I really hope that's Pein and not that asshole who's been in charge since you killed Yamada."

Hidan smirked confidently. "It is."

They opened the door slowly only to be greeted by...?

* * *

**OH DAMN I AM EVIL! CLIFFHANGER'S ARE AWESOME! THOUGH I KNOW YOU ALL HATE THEM. LOL!**

**Anyway, only two more chapters to go! Let's see how thing's will wrap up!!! Review!**

**KeikoPanda102(Got control of the story back from Deidara. Had to bribe him with Pop Rocks.)**


	49. Chapter 49

Chapter 49: Papa Don't Preach

"Damn Kakuzu, you look like shit."

"That sounds pretty bad coming from the shark-face." Kakuzu replied. Kisame just rolled his eyes then laughed as he lifted one of Kakuzu's arms around his shoulders to help Hidan carry him.

As he stepped out of the ice cold Black Room Hidan glanced around the hallway that was, only a little while before, crawling with guards determined to either capture them or kill them. Now it seemed all the guards were either dead or passed out on the floor. Tobi was busy holding Zetsu back because the cannibal was slowly moving towards the dead body of the 3rd and final prison warden of Kure-Ji-Kira. Hidan smirked. Today was a good day. The best day he'd had in quite a while.

"Hey! You guys found Kakuzu!" Suigetsu said as he and Karin came around the corner. She then turned to Pein and smiled. "We just told the rest of the inmates they were free to go."

"Then we should probably get out of here too." Pein replied and began walking down the hallway towards the light of the outside.

As they made their way down the hall Tobi put his hand on his chin and muttered,

"Tobi wonders if it might be a bad idea to let a bunch of crazy criminals loose into the world like this...?"

Silence hung over Akatsuki for a moment then they shrugged and replied together,

"Nah!"

* * *

As they ran back to the vans they had parked on the side of the prison building, they noticed one of the cars was being shook back and forth from the inside. Suigetsu ran ahead of everyone and threw open the back doors of the van. All four children fell out onto the ground.

"What the hell did you thin you were doing? Someone could have seen you and then you'd just be sitting ducks!" He yelled.

They completely ignored him when they noticed the small bunny rabbit he was holding in his arms.

"Usa-chan!" Aki and Ueno giggled as they began petting him. Mei noticed Hidan and Kisame holding up a bloodied and exhausted Kakuzu and she screamed,

"DADDY!"

His eyes seemed to brighten as she ran over and hugged his waist. It was then that Kakuzu noticed how thin she looked, and they way her hair seemed a bit messy, and her grip quite loose. He growled at Hidan,

"You've been feeding her right, haven't you?"

"She ate what I ate." Hidan replied in an annoyed tone.

"Which was?" Kakuzu insisted.

"Instant Ramen. It was all we could fucking afford."

Now Kakuzu shut up. He looked back and forth between his lover and child and felt even worse for leaving them alone for a whole year. He was technically the man and he should have been looking out for them. As they drove home, Mei fell asleep with her head on his lap, while Hidan rested on his shoulder. He became quite content, just sitting there with them.

When they returned to Pein's house it was past midnight, and everyone had to help them inside. They all fell asleep on one bed, a content smile across Kakuzu's stitched face.

* * *

When Hidan awoke the next morning he was alone in bed. He sat up blearily only to see Kakuzu sitting a desk in the far corner of the room. He exhaled deeply.

"It wasn't a dream."

"Weren't you yelling at me just yesterday for thinking you were a dream?" Kakuzu chuckled.

"That's cuz you acted like it was some giant shock for me to come save your ass!" Hidan snorted as he stood up and began searching through a few drawers of the desk Kakuzu was sitting at. After a minute he pulled something out and went, "Aha." He handed Kakuzu the same box Kakuzu had handed him almost exactly one year ago to the day. Kakuzu scowled.

"Hidan, I gave that to you to keep forever. I want you to know that it belongs to you."

"You don't have to worry about that." Hidan replied. "I took care of it."

Before Kakuzu could ask how, Hidan flipped open the lid of the box, revealing Kakuzu's still beating heart, but not exactly the same as the owner remembered it. He couldn't stifle his laughter as he looked down into the box to see the words:

HIDAN'S PROPERTY

tattooed on the very fragile flesh of the red organ. Once again, before he could utter a word, Hidan said amusedly,

"You shoulda seen the tattoo guy's face when I opened the box. Like he'd never seen a fucking human heart before. Pussy. I had to kill him anyway he would've just told someone something like a dumb-ass."

Kakuzu kept staring at his heart as he replied light-heartedly,

"You got rid of the body right?"

Hidan sneered at him. "What? You think I aint never killed anybody afore? Dammit Kakuzu you been away too-"

He was cut off but a fierce kiss, a kiss that made him instantly crave sexual gratification. The kiss made him remember just how long he had been away from Kakuzu. Yet, at the same time, it felt as if they had only been apart for a day or two. Their lips fit together like puzzle pieces, just as they always did. And one of the first things Hidan always noticed about Kakuzu's kissing, he tasted amazingly good. It was always the same taste, and always the same smell, green mint, and the scent of cleanliness and order. There was no other taste or smell like it in all the world.

Kakuzu felt the same things Hidan did. Hidan's kisses were exactly the same as they had always been; intoxicating and rather violent, just the way Kakuzu liked them. Hidan tasted good too, but not in the same way Kakuzu did. He had a feeling he was probably the only one in the world who really loved the way Hidan tasted, like fire and death. There was only one smell Kakuzu liked better, and that was the smell of money, not that he would ever tell Hidan that.

As he began to move his tongue deeper to try and get an even better taste, Hidan moaned and pushed him away a little. When Kakuzu reluctantly separated, Hidan gasped,

"It's the damn morning. Don't make me get all hot and heavy before breakfast!"

"Who's fault is that?' Kakuzu asked as he slid a hand towards the rim of Hidan's pants.

"It's not my fucking fault if that's what you're trying to say and HEY!- Where the hell do you think you're sticking your damn hand?!"

"It is your fault. Completely your fault." Kakuzu replied, grabbing Hidan's hand and moving it between his legs. Hidan yelped when he felt a bulge and Kakuzu snickered, "I'm just as turned on as you are. I haven't been able to fuck you in far too long, and I don't know how much longer I can wait."

Hidan bit his lip and it seemed for a minute that he was just going to push Kakuzu away. Then, he gave his reply by reaching around Kakuzu and clicking the lock on the bedroom door.

"Better fuck me good, asshole, cuz I can't wait anymore either!" Hidan muttered as he pressed his lips back onto Kakuzu's and bit lightly as Kakuzu licked the sensitive skin nibbling at his.

They didn't want to rush despite how long they had been apart. They just wanted to hold each other, to really feel the pleasure they gave one another so that if they ever had to separate again, at least they would remember.

Kakuzu leaned back against the headboard, Hidan squirming in his lap as he used his tongue to leave hot tracks along his lover's neck. Kakuzu's skilled hands slipped underneath Hidan's shirt with ease, sliding over his belly button and moving up. His finger teased Hidan's nipples for a moment before he lifted the shirt over the Jashinist's head and tossed it to the floor. Now Hidan could feel Kakuzu's bare skin against his back. He'd always loved Kakuzu's chest, the many scars only adding to the rough and overall manly effect his torso held.

He was already shivering with anticipation when he heard Kakuzu's coarse voice whisper huskily into his ear, "Take your pants off."

Hidan let out an uneven exhale, full of repressed lust and need, as he slipped ungracefully out of his sweats. Kakuzu couldn't help but laugh as Hidan cursed his pants to hell for not coming off easier, but then he just raised an eyebrow when he saw the pale man wasn't even wearing any underwear beneath said pants. Hidan caught his gaze then turned back around all the way and balled his hands into fists trying to pull down Kakuzu's drawers. with Kakuzu's assistance they were soon on the floor with the rest of their clothes, yet somehow now both men were unbearably hot.

Kakuzu reached down Hidan's tensed stomach until he grasped at his lover's erection lightly. He pumped it up and down while twirling one of Hidan's nipples in his other hand. Hidan leaned back, pressing his body hard into Kakuzu's as he tried to keep his breathing steady. Kakuzu's hand rubbing him so skillfully was making his steady breathing very difficult, and his mind was reeling from the sensations.

"Ka...kuzu..." he moaned softly.

Kakuzu teased the tip of Hidan's length, earning a shudder all throughout the Jashinist's body. Kakuzu's own arousal was pulsing between his legs and it was almost like animal instinct when he started rubbing it along the soft skin of Hidan's backside. When Hidan felt that he clumsily picked himself up a little and grabbed Kakuzu's member in one hand, trying to place himself over the length tactfully. Kakuzu noticed what he was trying to do and wrapped an arm around his waist, causing him to fall back in between Kakuzu's legs on the bed. He then poised two fingers in front of Hidan's face which Hidan took in his mouth instantly, lathering them with liquid quickly before Kakuzu removed them again.

He trailed the two fingers down Hidan's back before making it to his trembling opening and pushing the first inside. Hidan lifted away from the finger at first but then he got used to it and wanted more. Kakuzu added a second and soon after a third finger, making Hidan whimper from surprise.

He fingered Hidan with the three fingers for a minute, then pulled then out and lifted Hidan up with one hand, placing his now prepared hole right over his member. Kakuzu's tight grip on Hidan caused the younger man to snap,

"Asshole!"

"That's what I'm aiming for." Kakuzu replied swiftly.

Hidan held his breath as he was slowly lowered onto the rock hard length. Every inch felt like an hour until finally he had the whole thing inside him.

"Owwww..." he moaned, "It's hurts... we didn't use any lube."

"You never needed it before. I thought you liked it when it hurt?" Kakuzu asked skeptically.

"I do," Hidan replied, "But I wanna feel your hot cock too. I want the burn to hurt."

"Your wish is my command." Kakuzu muttered before thrusting his hips down, then violently upwards. "I'll set you on fire with my passion. I love you, remember."

"Kakuzu!" Hidan yelled. He then felt both of Kakuzu's hands on his ass, spreading it so he could go deeper. H altered his angle and as though he were a mind reading, aimed at the perfect place and thrust.

"KAKUZU!" Hidan screamed for real this time. "Holy fuck!"

Kakuzu didn't just thrust once, he had been saving his energy and now that he knew where to aim, he moved his hips fast, easily sliding in and out, deep into Hidan. He brought both hands to Hidan's thighs, spreading them apart and lifting Hidan up and down in rhythm with him. Hidan was too busy to think that maybe his legs didn't even bend that way, his heart was beating faster than he thought possible, and on one particularly rough thrust he accidentally bit his lip, blood streaming down instantly.

Kakuzu noticed Hidan's wound and slowed just a little so he could turn Hidan's head and lick the cut, both of them finding themselves in a fierce tongue battle as if they had no time to waste. Kakuzu continued his thrusting, even harder now that he could feel himself building up for release.

Even though he had been away from Hidan's body for at least a year, he could also tell that his lover was nearing his climax as well. His thought was proven correct in a second when Hidan gasped,

"I'm so fucking close Kakuzu!" He threw his head back as he felt Kakuzu's manhood pulsing inside him, the friction it's quick movements were making sending him almost over the end and into pure bliss. He reached around and began stroking himself, not being able to distinguish precum from the sweat that was pouring down all over his body ad to his hands.

"Nearly there..." Kakuzu grunted.

"Kakuzu!" Hidan yelped, "Fill my ass up! I can't cum if you don't pour it into me! I want it all dammit!"

"Aaaaaah!" Kakuzu groaned as he got one last thrust in, then held his hips up while pushing Hidan's down, obeying Hidan's request and depositing all of his juices into his lover that he had been saying just for him.

As Hidan felt the skeet invading his hole he started convulsing as he let out his own cum all over the bed sheets. He barely had any voice left to yell an incoherent thought before collapsing on top of Kakuzu's worn out manhood and the rest of his panting, sweaty body.

After a minute Kakuzu allowed himself to let out a deep exhale. Then, there was silence in the room, Hidan having fallen asleep once it was over. Kakuzu tried to smooth back Hidan's ruined hair when all of a sudden a loud grumbling sound came from his lover's stomach. At first kakuzu was just dumbfounded, then he laughed and untangled himself from Hidan, put on a pair of shorts, and walked out of the room to go get his exhausted lover some breakfast.

As he poured them both some coffee he noticed Kisame raise an eyebrow at him and Suigetsu stare at him thoughtfully. As he walked back into his and Hidan's room he distinctly heard Kisame's voice,

"Morning sex, huh? We should try that."

Kakuzu closed their bedroom door before he heard Suigetsu's reply, but there was no screaming, he felt it was safe to assume the two of them would be absent at next morning's breakfast table.

* * *

"Deidara," Sasori said authoritatively. "Stop with your ridiculously pointless explosions. You will kill yourself or someone else one day."

Deidara smiled down at Aki, completely disregarding Sasori, though his lover's words of disdain did sting a bit. Deidara always wished Sasori would just accept his way of making art, instead of telling him constantly to stop.

"So Nitrogen and Helium combined make that type of explosion?" Aki said interestedly.

"Yup, un. And tomorrow i'll try to show you the beginning of how to make fireworks, if you want, yeah?"

"Yes, please Deidara-sensei!" Aki replied.

Across the room, Ueno looked up from what he was working on to ask,

"Does this look good, Sasori-sensei?"

Sasori pulled himself away from rolling his eyes at Deidara's mess to glance down at the model replica he had instructed Ueno to make. He evaluated it for a few minutes before finally pointing to a small spot and replying,

"That needs work. Keep going until it's perfect, I need to speak with Deidara for a moment."

He then walked over towards Deidara's side of the room where the blond was having the other shark-twin look at elemental structures under a microscope. Deidara soon noticed that Sasori wished to speak with him. He told Aki to keep doing what he was doing and that he would be back in a second.

Deidara crossed his arms and gave Sasori a defiant stare which Sasori ignored and just spoke flatly,

"You know that isn't real art."

"Says you, yeah."

"I'm older, I should know what's true art and what isn't far better than you." Sasori replied.

"Dammit Danna! Every since we got out of Kure-Ji-Kira you've been such a butt-head about everything, yeah! You keep acting like you know everything, especially about what's good art. Art should be about self expression and the glory of life, un!"

"Long life, made of patience and slow and steady aging. Something your art fails to comprehend. Actually, your art doesn't seem to comprehend anything besides raw idiocy."

"My art shows passion yeah! More than you can say with your boring, _old_ sculptures and puppets that are good for absolutely _nothing_, un!!" Deidara's voice rose steadily as the color of his face changed from pale to a flushed, angry pink.

"Nothing?" Sasori asked coolly, "My art tells of a history and a beauty that is far too graceful and magnificent for a lowly bomber like you to understand. How did I ever have sex with someone who could not even comprehend how to hold an erection without wasting it for more than 5 minutes because he liked to _explode_?"

Deidara's eyes narrowed dangerously. "So now you're going to bring our sex life into this, un? Fine, I can't _count_ how many times I was bored out of my fucking head just waiting for you to finish, un! Which is really funny seeing as you always say how much you _hate_ to make people wait, yeah. You make such a task-"

"**BOOM!**"

Sasori and Deidara's argument came to an abrupt end when a rather large force exploded behind them. Just as they turned to make sure everything was ok and that there was no real damage done, they heard a distinctive crash behind them coming from the other direction. Then a pink blur raced by, straight over to Aki who was picking himself up off the ground, specs of debris spattered in his hair and across the floor.

"Aki!" Ueno cried as he helped his brother stand back up and then promptly sit back down in a chair. "What happened? Are you ok?"

Aki just seemed a bit dazed for a moment. In that moment, Sasori turned to Deidara and scowled.

"look what you've caused. He could've been killed!"

Deidara growled and was about to curse at Sasori with everything he had when they both heard Aki giggle,

"That was amazing! Did you see it Ueno? I mixed Neon and Sulfur, who knew it would make that _color_!?"

Ueno soon got a huge smile across his face, matching Aki's when he replied,

"I bet it was the neon, doesn't neon make colors? You freaked me out, Aki! I thought you blew up or something!"

Aki just shook his head. "These chemicals aren't that dangerous. I can't wait to use even better ones. I want to make fireworks, but not just that, do you know I could create my own metals? Something brand new, and i'd even get to name it! Isn't that awesome, Ueno?"

"Totally! I can't wait to see to see it when you make it! Think I could build something with it? Oh, guess what Sasori-sense told me today! He said the human heart has four valves and their all used for something different. I was working on a complete reconstruction of a human heart, but... I might have to start over now. Sasori-sensei won't like that..."

"Oh no!" Aki said sadly, "Did my explosion make you break it?"

Ueno laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his head. "Well no... but I dropped it to rush over here because I thought you were hurt."

"I'm so sorry Ueno. Can you forgive me?"

"It could have been a lot worse you know. You actually could've been hurt or something..."

"Well... can you show me something else you're working on?" Aki asked shyly.

"Sure." Ueno smiled, then slyly took his brother's hand as he led him over to his side of the room.

Deidara and Sasori were left in the center of the room, confused and awkward. Deidara bit his lip and began twirling a piece of his hair, thinking about the way the twins acted towards each other. They had respect for each other's chosen interests, even though they didn't understand them. He suddenly began moving towards the cluttered mess around the desk. He could feel Sasori watching him as he began clearing away bits of destroyed beakers and magnifying lenses. It made him distracted, so he accidentally cut himself on one of the loose pieces of cursed and was about to bring his finger up to his lips, when Sasori's hand caught his wrist. He gasped then looked away when Sasori brought the digit up to his own lips instead. He licked it a few times, then pulled a band-aid out of his pocket and made sure it covered the wound completely. He sighed.

"I think it's really cute when you cum so fast. I was lying before, when I said I hated it."

Deidara began trembling a little before he could whisper,

"Danna... I was never bored during sex, un! I always loved it when you made me wait, it made me feel it a lot more, yeah!"

"Deidara!" Sasori muttered before wrapping his arms around the feminine blond.

"Danna!" Deidara cried just as enthusiastically.

Both Aki and Ueno rolled their eyes as they walked out the door.

"Grown-ups are so weird." they muttered in unison, their clasped hands swinging rhythmically with each step.

* * *

Mei had been surrounded by sex her entire life. Sure, mostly it had been very hardcore, gay sex, but sex was sex; there was no getting around it. While she could tell that Aki and Ueno were more than interested in the somewhat risque topic, she herself had little interest in it. That is, until she realized that Orochi has no interest in it either.

"Are we in love?" She asked him one afternoon as he wrote solemnly in his spiral bound journal beneath the bright tree in the garden.

His glasses flashed, but he didn't blush like he did in the past. He had grown a lot in the year since he left Kure-Ji-Kira. He now felt that he was just a bit lucky to have been exposed to such a harsh life. It occurred to him the day he had been bullied by some local kids for looking like a girl. They had expected him to be an easy target, but all he had to do was confuse them, make them disoriented, then hit their vital points before they could do anything. As they ran away he wondered how come they didn't know how to defend themselves like he did, and then it struck him; he had learned self-defense from his father, and every one of his teachers when he was very little. The reason for that was because all of his teachers had been or still were high class criminals.

The moment he was the most glad he had learned those things was when Mei had been held hostage by the second Yamada, and he used his strength and bravery to rescue her. That was the first time he had ever felt like he wanted to be someone's hero.

He still felt that same heroic excitement every time he looked at her, especially when her hair blew in her face as she sat next to him under the tree in the garden.

"I love you." he said fearlessly. "You love me too."

"How do you know?' she asked curiously.

"You don't know," he replied as he annoyingly flicked some of his long black hair from his face. "You feel."

She was quiet for a while, then she pulled a hair band from around her wrist and bent over him, smoothly grabbing his silk locks with one hand and holding the scrunchy in the other. She tied the hair back loosely, only wrapping the hair band twice. The band brought the hair together at his neck, and kept it under control, while still letting it be loose enough so some strands fell at the front. When she leaned back into her seat he moved his head back and forth, enjoying how his hair didn't bother him as much.

"Now you'll have to do my hair every day you know." he said jokingly.

"That means I can stay with you forever then, right?" She was almost going to ask him when they could have sex too, just like the others did, but then changed her mind. She didn't know what he would say, and she didn't know if she even wanted it.

Before Orochi could answer, Aki and Ueno hopped from behind the tree and asked,

"Can we-"

"-stay with you guys too?"

Mei and Orochi smiled.

"I suppose it would be boring without you." Orochi murmured unenthusiastically.

"Only if you promise not to kiss in front of me!" Mei giggled.

"But we thought you _liked_ it, Meiiii!" They said together, moving closer to each other and clasping hands.

Mei pushed them a little and blushed, that still being her greatest weakness. The four of them spent the rest of the afternoon discussing their lives and future adventures together. It was a plan they would stick to for as long as they could.

* * *

"Dad," Mei said firmly one afternoon a few years later, "Daddy," she turned to Kakuzu and nodded a little. Her hair had grown longer and her face less round. She was even more beautiful though, a million times more feminine than Hidan could ever be. She cleared her throat and began for real, now that she had gotten both of her parent's attentions,

"I'm 16 this year-"

"You aren't 16 yet dammit!" Hidan growled, instinct telling him he was not going to like where this conversation was going. Mei, having a lot of patience when it came to her uke father, just sighed.

"Dad, I'm going to go and have an adventure."

"Are Orochi, Aki, and Ueno going with you?" Kakuzu asked calmly.

"Of course!" She said in a chipper tone.

"Adventure!?" Hidan asked loudly. "What kinda shit is that? Why the fuck would we let you go out in the world traveling alone with three fucking guys like that? Do you think we're stupid or something-?"

"I think you should go. Do something you like. Have an adventure I guess, if that's what you want to call it. Do you have a plan about money, because you aren't getting any from me." Kakuzu smiled lightly, remembering when his daughter was a lot younger. "I remember one time I asked you why you called me 'Daddy' and Hidan 'Dad'. You said, "Auntie Karin told me she always called her Dad, 'Daddy' when she wanted money, and Dad_ never_ has any money!" You were so cute back then. Now I can see through that little smile. We taught you to lie too well."

"I would never lie to you guys." she replied sweetly.

"Lie!" Hidan spat.

Mei stuck her tongue out at him before turning to Kakuzu and replying,

"Orochi has a lot of money saved up. We should be good for a while. Plus, we have a plan." Her eyes twinkled as she said it and her smile widened.

"What plan?" Hidan asked suspiciously.

"Not telling. If I tell you'll try to help, and I want to do this on my own!" She said.

"When are you leaving?" Kakuzu asked sadly.

"Today." she replied defiantly, as if daring either one of her father's to tell her otherwise.

Hidan opened his mouth to scream but Kakuzu quickly quieted him with a hand around his mouth. As Hidan struggled to get free, Kakuzu smiled and kissed Mei's forehead, telling her softly,

"Better go quick. I don't know how I'm going to distract him for long enough."

"Maybe you could travel too. You've both been bumming around Uncle Nagato and Aunt Konan's place long enough. They have a few kids now and they might want a quieter life than you guys lead."

Kakuzu nodded. "I've been thinking the same things."

Hidan finally got his mouth free enough to yell,

"DOMESTIC VIOLENCE! LET ME GO- DAMMIT-! AT LEAST LEEME SAY BYE TO THE KID WHO WAS IN MY FUCKING STOMACH FOR 8 MONTHS!"

Kakuzu released Hidan gently and the Jashinist gave Mei a reluctant hug. He pouted a lot while he muttered,

"Who's gonna worship Jashin with me now? You're father is a heathen and you're leaving! Damn! Don't forget to sacrifice and pray! I- I love you, okay. And don't fucking die either!"

Mei just nodded as she walked out the door that Aki was holding open for her. When the door slammed, Hidan turned to Kakuzu and smirked.

"Well, where the hell are we going now?"

* * *

**See, long chapters. Next chapter is the ennnddd!!!! Yay! Or... not! But for me it's yay! Because I totally know what I'm gonna do! It'll be perfect! Just wait. **

**Love you all. I know this story has a lot of fans(though I don't understand the ones who don't review) and I hope you appreciate all the chapters and aren't too upset that it is ending. **

**KeikoPanda102**


	50. Chapter 50

Chapter 50: BigCityDreams

Another year passed slowly since Mei had left to travel with Orochi and the Shark Twins. Not even a day after that, Deidara and Sasori announced their own plans for travel. They had already booked tickets to Greece, where they hoped to start a new life, at least for a little while. About a week after that, Kisame bought a small boat(he had quite a bit of money saved up from before he had been sent to Kure-Ji-Kira), and without a word, disappeared over the horizon on the endless blue with Suigetsu at his side. Karin decided to stay behind and live with Konan and Nagato. She had truly fallen in love with their children and enjoyed looking after the quickly increasing number of them. Naruto and Sasuke got in touch now and again, but they mostly lived a happy life on their own, surrounded by their friends. Juugo was long gone, following after Kabuto like a lost puppy.

The only mystery it seemed, was when Zetsu and Tobi seemingly vanished into this air. One day they were there, the next they were gone. No one actually questioned it, they just figured it was bound to happen some time.

In the end, only Kakuzu and Hidan were left to decide where to go. They racked their brains for days until finally, as Kakuzu was browsing his old bingo book, he had an interesting idea.

"Oi, Hidan." he said one evening. "Have you ever thought about being a bounty hunter?"

Hidan gave him an annoyed glance as he replied, "Why the hell would I want to go around catching idiots then not being able to kill the stupid heathens?"

"Look how much this guys worth." He held the book open to the page and Hidan read the number below the man's picture.

"Shit..." he exclaimed softly. "N-not that I care about money that much or anything, money is a sin and waste and Jashin-sama doesn't condone this kind of thing. But... you like money... so maybe we could just go track down that one guy. Should be easy enough. Most of the people in that stupid book of yours look like pussies anyway."

Kakuzu was silent for a moment, waiting for Hidan to change his mind, then he smirked.

"You mean it? We can really go get this reward?"

Hidan blushed a little as he replied,

"You seem like you really want to... plus we don't have anything else going on."

Kakuzu leaned forward and kissed Hidan on the cheek before standing up and racing towards their bedroom.

"We should be able to leave by the morning!"

And so, with short goodbyes to the only remaining members of Akatsuki, Hidan and Kakuzu went off in search of the first of many names in Kakuzu's bingo book. They got a little addicted to chasing down bounty. Well, Hidan liked it when he got to kill people, but Kakuzu mostly just liked the money, and of course being able to spend everyday with Hidan not locked up in some dark, dingy prison.

Eventually, the time slipped away from them, and at least two years had passed. They hadn't been in contact with anyone, not even Mei. They mostly travelled back roads, not venturing into major cities unless they felt a rare urge to socialize, or simply wanted creature comforts. They were content with just each other's company, though they fought a lot, and both ended up with some bruises, they knew they were the only ones they could ever be with, because they fit together perfectly.

It was the beginning of fall, and they had just turned in a rather small criminal for a rather small amount of money. They both wanted something bigger, more exciting. As Kakuzu browsed the bingo book he finally found someone worthy of their skills to find and capture. He was a monk, living in a temple high in the mountains, and apparently quite strong. Hidan instantly agreed to going to find him, though he was less enthusiastic when Kakuzu told him they would need to walk the entire way up the mountain.

"But why the fuck do we have to walk? There has to be some kinda car that goes that far up! Off-road or something!" Hidan complained as they started their trek upwards.

"Too expensive." Kakuzu replied as he strode a few yards ahead of the loud Jashinist.

"You're such a cheap-ass." Hidan groaned as he jogged a little to catch up.

Kakuzu just smiled and grabbed a hold of Hidan's hand to pull him forwards up the incline. He didn't let go of the hand until they stopped for lunch at a tiny roadside vender that seemed to only sell hot-cakes.

As they sat drinking warm beer and eating a hot pancake, Hidan noticed the owner, a large round woman with high cheekbones, giving him a searching look. He didn't find it too strange, since people often looked at both him and Kakuzu oddly. Not only was he pale as snow but he was traveling with a guy who had nearly his entire body covered with clothes. The only thing Hidan found particularly weird was that the look this woman was giving him wasn't frightened or curious, she just looked confused.

Just as he gave an exasperated sigh, she spoke up loudly,

"You look familiar."

Hidan had a surprised expression on his face as he looked up from his drink. Kakuzu glanced over as well, wondering how Hidan knew the woman.

"Me? How the fuck do I look familiar?" Hidan asked, trying to figure out if his vulgarity would scare her away like it did to most of the others.

She just laughed.

"She liked to use words like that too! You look just like a girl who came by here just the other day. Pale hair, tan skin, real pretty, tiny scar under her-"

"Left eye?" Hidan exclaimed. Kakuzu placed the book he was reading in his pocket and asked,

"When was she here?"

The woman, who seemed happy with herself, replied,

"I knew you were related. She was here just the other day with some weird friends. A very nice looking boy and two strange twins. I'm sure you know them too though, right?"

"Mei!" Hidan yelled as he turned to Kakuzu. "Mei was here!"

"I heard." Kakuzu replied. He then stood up, placed a bit of money for their food on the counter, then smiled under his mask and said, "Well, let's go find her."

* * *

Hidan was nearly running up the dusty dirt road now, a determined hop in his step. Kakuzu lagged behind a little, enjoying the scenery and watching Hidan act like a child.

"Mei, Kakuzu!" Hidan exclaimed, "Mei is here! When was the last time we saw her? It had to be at least ten fucking years ago!"

"It's only been two, moron." Kakuzu replied. "She won't even be 18 yet."

"Shut up!" Hidan said smartly, "The point is, she's our daughter and we need to make sure she's ok! We don't even know what she's been doing all this time!"

Hidan slowed down a little to get in pace with Kakuzu who scowled and muttered,

"I'm more worried about what those others have been doing this whole time. She's been with three guys, alone. Orochi was always creepy and the twins loved her. Who knows what they could have done to her. Taken advantage of our poor little girl. I'll kill them."

Hidan chuckled. "You sound like an overprotective father. Don't worry. I taught her self defense and everything."

"Excuse me if I don't trust the self defense lessons taught by someone who was raped their first night in jail."

"HEY!" Hidan yelled, punching Kakuzu in the arm only to hurt his own hand. "That was four fucking grown men and weren't YOU the one who sent them on me in the first place?"

"I'm sorry." Kakuzu said with a soft smile. "If there is one thing I regret, it's that. Your virginity wasn't even taken by me. I still feel bad about it."

"Well you should." Hidan pouted.

Kakuzu looked up towards the sky then said,

"I know Mei is strong and all, but she has _three_ guys traveling with her. She wouldn't stand a chance."

"If they raped her she wouldn't still be with them. She would've come crying home to us." Hidan shrugged. "And that old lady described the Shark Twins and the Clone perfectly so she's still with them."

"But what if that Orochi used some sort of mind trick to get her to do it. Like he guilted her or something."

"Well then you can just kill him." Hidan nodded. "No big d-"

"DAD! DADDY!"

Both Hidan and Kakuzu turned around in a flash to see an almost full grown Mei running towards them from a little ways down the mountain, tears gleaming in her eyes. Kakuzu and Hidan exchanged an excited smile before running down to meet her.

When they collided, it was just one giant three-way hug that left Mei's bones nearly crushed from the combined strength of her fathers. When they finally broke apart Mei asked loudly,

"How did you guys hear about it?"

Both Hidan and Kakuzu gave her confused looks. She tilted her head and asked,

"The Akatsuki meet up? At the hot-spring in the mountains? I know no one's been able to get in contact with you guys(by the way you _need_ to get a cell phone!), but if you're here you must have heard of it somewhere!"

Kakuzu laughed. "We haven't heard anything from anyone. We just heard that you were on this mountain from an old woman in side of the road hot-cake stall. Does that mean everyone else if here too? All of Akatsuki?"

"Yup." Mei smiled. "Even Uncles Naruto and Sasuke. They brought their son too. Seems like they caught up with Kabuto and got him to make some more of his stuff. And Deidara's pregnant. Konan too, I think this is her 7th kid! You guys are so out of the loop! You'll never believe about Tobi!"

She seemed like she was going to go on talking for a while but Kakuzu cut in and stopped her, pointing behind her and asking,

"So, which one are you with?"

Mei turned around, confused. A few yards down the road, Aki and Ueno were bickering and Orochi was examining a flower. When she turned back she was scowling. Kakuzu just looked down at her firmly.

"We know those twins have been in love with you forever. So which one are you with? Don't tell me you're doing both of them!" Hidan shrieked.

Now Mei just laughed. "Aki and Ueno? Are you kidding me? Those two are so busy fucking each other they barely have time to breath anymore!"

"So you ended up with Orochi, then." Kakuzu murmured darkly. "Give it to me gently, when did you lose it?"

Mei gave him a confused look. Hidan gave an exasperated sigh.

"Lose it? Your V-card? When were you deflowered? When did you have sex with him!?"

Mei was a bit taken aback but then she laughed a little as she gave both of her parents an amused smile.

"I'm still a virgin. Orochi and I are waiting until we're married."

There was a thick silence that followed. Both Hidan and Kakuzu were waiting for her to tell them she was kidding, but that never came. She just continued to smile at them with laughter hidden behind her magenta eyes. Finally, Kakuzu turned to Hidan and said breathlessly,

"Hidan, I think i've just started to believe in God."

* * *

After both Mei and Hidan finally stopped laughing, she took them both up one of the side roads of the mountain until they came to the entrance of a luxurious, japanese-style bathhouse, complete with lanterns that were just being lit along the pathway inside. As soon as their group walked in the front door, the whole room all but exploded.

"MEI! YOU FOUND HIDAN AND KAKUZU! THEY'VE BEEN MISSING FOR AT LEAST A YEAR! HOW'D YOU DO IT!?" Kisame asked loudly as he smacked Kakuzu across the back, glad to see his old friend again.

"Luck led them to the right place at the right time." She replied with a smile.

After reconnecting with everyone, and even meeting some of the new additions, all of Akatsuki went out back to eat dinner. They had to bring two long tables together so everyone had a place to sit, and even then the youngest kids had to sit at the kiddy table. During dinner they reminisced about the way they all came together under the roof of a prison. They had a toast to Itachi, where Naruto and Sasuke had to leave afterwards, though by them not returning later, everyone just assumed Sasuke wasn't _too_ depressed. Halfway through dinner Hidan leaned to Mei and whispered,

"Who's the bishie next to Zetsu down there?"

Mei just giggled then muttered under her breath, "That's Tobi... Well, Madara now..."

Hidan's eyes shot wide open and so did Kakuzu's who had listened in as well. The Jashinist stood up at the table, pointed to Madara and shouted,

"TOBI!?"

The man, who had long, pitch black hair and red eyes, turned upon Hidan with moderate surprise. Then he just smiled and said,

"Actually it's Madara, Uchiha Madara. Enough time has passed now that I can go back to being the real me."

Zetsu laughed as Hidan just gaped at them in complete and utter confusion. Kakuzu turned on the cannibal and asked,

"You knew the whole time, didn't you?"

Zetsu just smirked and replied, "There's a lot of stuff I knew the whole time that you guys had no clue of."

The table laughed and returned to their lighthearted eating while Hidan continued to reel from all the new information he was receiving. He was only snapped out of his own thoughts when he heard Suigetsu tell Kakuzu,

"You don't even know what our kids have been doing all this time, do you? They've been pursuing a line of work to really make us proud!"

Mei, Aki and Ueno, and Orochi just laughed. Hidan asked swiftly, "What _have _you been doing?"

"We're top-class con-artists." Mei replied with a conniving smile.

"Con artist?" Kakuzu asked as he became suddenly very interested. "What exactly do you do?"

"Orochi comes up with the plan, Aki is in charge of tech and explosives, Ueno handles set and clothing design, and I'm the front girl. Usually. Sometimes we use Aki and Ueno's twin-ness to our advantage. It's really a whole group operation. Couldn't do it alone." Mei explained.

"What's the point of a con though?"

Mei laughed. "The money of course, or something we want. Though we usually blow it right after we get a big score. I'm surprised you haven't heard anything about us, Daddy? We're even in the bingo book. A reward and everything."

"No you aren't." Kakuzu said firmly. "I look through that thing everyday, I would know if you were in it."

Mei just rolled her eyes. "Daddy, you really need a new bingo book. I'm surprised you've been able to use that one for so long."

"I've got one, Mei." Orochi said as he handed her a new bingo book. She smiled at him before handing it to Kakuzu who took it greedily.

As Kakuzu began looking through his new favorite book, Hidan's mouth fell open and he remained speechless for a few minutes. Finally Mei noticed he was starting at her and she asked,

"Dad, what's wrong?"

He just mumbled, "Y- you- your finger!"

Kakuzu tore his eyes away from the book just as Mei raised the hand Hidan was referring to. Her whole hand was even more covered with scars and marks than it had been when she was younger, but that wasn't what surprised them. On one finger in particular she had a huge, dazzling diamond, as big as a large acorn, resting gently on a nice, silver band. Mei blushed.

"Oh, I didn't tell you? I'm getting married tomorrow! That's why I was so glad I found you!"

"MARRIED!?" Both Hidan and Kakuzu shouted at the same time.

Mei just smiled. "I hope you can both give me away!"

* * *

Later on that night, after Mei had finally gotten both of her fathers to calm down, all the Akatsuki members had retired to their rooms, exhausted from a long, exciting day.

Kakuzu was still looking through his new bingo book when he came across an interesting page. He laughed then called Hidan over to see why he was laughing. On the page was a picture of Mei, and under that, one of Orochi. On the opposite page was Aki and Ueno. The description under their pictures said,

"The Children Of Kure-Ji-Kira, or so they have called themselves, are a group of young con-artists, most known and wanted for the theft of the Millennium Diamond, the worlds most famous jewel."

Under that it showed their price. Kakuzu and Hidan exchanged a glance and then they seemed to read each other's minds, for they were both thinking the same thing. They were the proudest parents ever.

"You know if Mei gets married tomorrow, that means she's going to have sex tomorrow too." Kakuzu muttered darkly.

Hidan sighed. "Maybe we'll be alive to see our grandkids then."

This cheered Kakuzu up greatly, though not as much as when he glanced down at the page in the bingo book once more and saw that all four kids had signed their names next to their photo's.

Hidan stretched then stood up to go look around outside. They had gotten a nice room, compliment of Mei and Orochi, since Kakuzu would never waist money on a private spa. The more Hidan looked at the clear water the more he wanted to get in until finally he shed his clothes and slipped into the pool. He swam around a little bit before calling out,

"Oi Kakuzu! Get your ass out here! It's boring with just me!"

"I'll be there in a second." came the reply from inside.

Hidan smiled contentedly. He then noticed a ledge on the side of the pool and went over to it. There were a few towels, a scrub, and a few different soaps. He picked one up out of curiosity and sniffed it, noticing it smelled like lavender.

"Hidan, be careful..." Kakuzu interrupted him smoothly. Hidan turned around to see clever green eyes staring down at him hungrily. As he stepped into the warm water, Kakuzu finished in a darkly seductive voice,

"...you never know what might happen to you if you drop the soap."

**The End.**

* * *

**So, that is the end. I know you are sad and what-not but this really was the perfect ending. And cheer up! I'll write more... someday. I'm addicted to fanfiction by now, there's just nothing I can do. XD**

**OK! I HAVE SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT I NEED TO ASK! I would appreciate if you would review and give me an answer as well!**

**I... am moving to Florida. I don't want to, but that's just what's happening. Problem is, I don't know ANYONE in Florida. NO ONE. Sooooo... I was wondering if there were any of you who have read this story that just happen to live in Florida? **

**Because that way, I know I would automatically like you because you are a KakuHidan fangirl and we could be best buddies! And I wouldn't be lonely in my new home! **

**So, please tell me. Please. Don't leave me all alone in that silly, humid place.**

**Thanks! Thanks for everything!**

**See you soon!**

**KeikoPanda102**


	51. EPILOGUE

**Some people seemed interested in what the kids were up to after breaking out of Kure-Ji-Kira, so, here's a story just about them:**

Epilogue: Sorry it took so long

My name is Mei. So far, my life has been pretty darn good. I'm smart and really pretty, plus I'm unique and not scared of anything. I have two loving parents and a group of their closest friends who've spoiled me from the moment I was born. My fiancé and I, with my two best childhood friends travel all over with no worries or problems. Together, we make a very nice living and are pretty well-known throughout the world. I sometimes miss my parents and the rest of our family when I'm traveling, but luckily, I'm attending a huge get-together this week for my wedding and I get to see everyone I've been missing! All-in-all, I think my life turned out pretty good for someone who was born in a jail.

Oh, did I forget to mention that part?

How about that my parents are both guys and that I was the product of some weird experiment to make men pregnant? Dad actually wanted to kill me when he first found out he was pregnant; he didn't want to get fat. See, Dad likes to kill people, it's an important part of our religion; Jashinism. I don't usually like to kill people, so I show my love for Jashin-sama by sacrificing goats and other animals like that. Dad says that's ok as long as I understand the pain too. Daddy doesn't mind killing people either, but not because of religious reasons. Daddy is completely _obsessed_ with money. He likes to have money and to get _more _money and to not spend his money. I kinda know how he feels, having money is totally a great thing! I don't really freak out about spending it though, since there's always more if you work hard enough!

Dad and Daddy met in this prison, Kure-Ji-Kira, for people who were especially freaky kinds of criminals. I think you had to be crazy to get in, but I never met one crazy person from Kure-Ji-Kira! Well, maybe Uncle Zetsu, but both of his personalities are pretty normal now that I think about it.

A lot of crazy things happened before my dads were in love. Even now, they don't show affection like normal people do. But, it's ok if Daddy hits Dad, because Dad likes pain, and I think it's good for their sex lives if they aren't _too_ happy. Even though they have their flaws, my parents are the best in the world! When I was little, they spoiled me rotten, giving me anything I wanted, but they weren't the only ones. In the jail with us there were a lot of people, but only about a dozen of them were like my family.

Uncles Deidara, Naruto, Kisame, and Tobi were the ones who spoiled me the most. All I had to do was smile and they would do anything for me! I bet I was a really cute kid. Of course, they also love to tell stories abut how troublesome I was when I was a baby. I've always loved anything sharp and shiny; glass, knives, nails, and I would always find things and swallow them or accidentally cut myself. I caused my Dad a lot of stress when I was a baby from all the times I nearly killed myself with sharp things. Once, I even sliced my cheek under my left eye. I've still got the scar. Dad hates it but Daddy likes it because he thinks it makes me look like him. I kinda like it too, it makes me look dangerous and cool. My fiancé says it looks sexy, but he kinda_ has_ to say that, especially if he's marrying me.

My fiancé's name is Orochimaru, but I call him Orochi because it's shorter and that's what everyone else calls him. See, Orochi came from the same experiment I did. He had two dads too, but his was a little different. The father who gave birth to him tried to clone the man who had impregnated him, the original Orochimaru. It kinda worked, except Orochi still has some of the genes from his mother-father. Plus, I heard he turned out a whole lot differently than the first Orochimaru, and he's better looking too. I guess that's a good thing, although I wouldn't really care what Orochi looked like. I love him no matter who he is, because he's always protecting me, no matter what. He hates to see me hurt, which is funny because I don't really mind getting hurt, sometimes I like it. Orochi is really smart. He's the brains of the operation.

See, along with Orochi and I, my two best childhood friends, annoying twins by the names of Aki and Ueno, make up a team of crack con-artists, traveling the world stealing and conniving away anything that catches our fancy. We call ourselves: The Children of Kure-Ji-Kira, because we were all raised there, and it was our first home, the place where we met. Kure-Ji-Kira is a part of all of us, even though none of us even remember it that well. It's the place where our parents all met, and where we learned to be strong, clever, and to fight for what we want. Kure-Ji-Kira made us who we are.

Aki and Ueno weren't born with two men as parents, even though their dad and their grandpa like to screw each other all the time. Aunt Karin let Uncle Suigetsu rape her so she could have kids because she really wanted them(I guess that doesn't really count as rape then). Funnily enough, Aki and Ueno are the only kids that turned out gay! Orochi and I are together, and besides Aunt Konan and Uncle Nagato, we're the only straight ones in the family!

And Aki and Ueno aren't just gay, they're gay- _together_. Now I know what you're thinking: with two gay parents and a ton of gay friends and relatives, why would I be so specific about Aki and Ueno being gay? And no, it's not because they're brothers, frankly, I could give a flying frick about their incest. Kisame and Suigetsu are even worse then them, they're father and son, and they still have sex all the time. Trust me, I don't care about any of that. I've been around homosexual relationships all my life and never had any strange kind of reaction to them; except for Aki and Ueno.

I don't know what it is that makes me feel so weird whenever I see them kissing, or worse- completely nude and in the middle of a very vulgar act after accidentally walking in on them while I was trying to get them to come down for dinner. And, usually, if I see something that makes me feel weird, or that I don't like, I can just kill it, or get rid of it some other way. But, the only thing I ever seem to be able to do when I see Aki and Ueno together like that, is run away, blushing like an idiot! I get so peeved at myself! They aren't shy about their relationship in public either, which is even more annoying. Do you know what it's like getting a nosebleed in the middle of the street after your two best friends started openly flirting and grabbing each other's bums? ORO HAD TO STOP THE BLEEDING. It was not a pretty sight.

They don't feel bad about it either! They know full well that's my only weakness, but they never stop! They're as horny as rabbits! When they aren't arguing, they're screwing! You would think however many years I'd known them, I would get used to it, but, no such luck, I'm still just as susceptible as ever, especially if they pop out at me when I'm not prepared for it.

I really do love them though, and without them, I sure would get bored a lot easier. Plus, they came in handy when Orochi was going through that strange time back on one of our earliest con jobs...

* * *

The group of young criminals had travelled to a tiny and ancient Mayan village in South America just outside of a deserted ruin of an even older Maya civilization. It was not as well known as some of the others, but just as rich in treasure and mystery. They went with their eyes on the mountains of gold inside the tombs, but stealing that was the easy part. The tricky part was getting inside the tombs, that was the con.

Pretending to be archeologists, Orochi explained to the tribe who lived near the ruins that they wanted to get inside to take a look. At first, the villagers refused flat out, casting suspiciously glances at the unique looking travelers, not entirely convinced they were really who they said they were. But, with some clever plotting on Orochi's part(and even better acting on Mei's), they were told that they would be permitted inside, but warned that no villager would accompany them.

This surprised the group of young con artists, as they had already expected that they would have to kill whoever was sent with them to the ruins. The villagers then explained why no one went near the ruins,

"There is a curse." They repeated over and over, as if trying to convince the children not to go inside.

Orochi tried to get more information on the so called 'curse,' but the people of the village would say nothing further. On the day they finally left and headed up towards the ruins, Aki and Ueno were sufficiently spooked.

"What if there really is a curse?" Ueno whimpered, glancing around the forest trail they were climbing towards the top of an incline, at the top of which stood the ruins and the treasure the children were after. It was a humid day, but none of them seemed to be very hot. Aki and Ueno were positively shivering, although it was less from the cold and more from the eery sense that they were being watched.

"It's adventure!" Mei giggled, hopping ahead of the rest of them and skipping along the overgrown path they were following. "I hope there _is_ a curse, so we can face it and tell everybody back home about we 'survived the curse!' "

Orochi smiled at her as she jubilantly smirked back at them, full of bright energy as always.

"What if we die, Mei!" Ueno continued, his slightly more reserved brother holding onto his shoulder as they followed after their other two companions up the hill.

"That isn't how curses usually work," Orochi corrected him. "They more often cause one to go mad, or to slowly deteriorate from the inside out. But even still, curses don't hold very much store in reality. It's just superstition."

"Orochi's right!" Mei called back from quite a ways ahead of them. "Just forget about the curse so we can do what we're here to do."

A few minutes later Mei and Orochi reached their destination; the ruins of a long lost city hidden in the depths of a thick and dangerous jungle. The city was comprised of one gigantic pillar that was still not so tall as to tower over the massive trees surrounding it, and about 20 smaller, tent-shaped building that resembled houses. The pillar in the center looked as if it had a very old, very worn red clothe hanging from it. There was a rope connected to the clothe and to the pillar, and it gave it a look like a flagpole.

Aki and Ueno caught up to their friends soon enough, and Aki was the first to give his opinion on the place,

"It isn't as big as I thought it'd be."

"That's what she said." Ueno added so all three of his friends turned to give him reproachful looks. Orochi turned back to the ruins and said,

"They do leave a bit to be desired, I must admit. Perhaps this is why they aren't as well known as many of the other South American ruins."

Aki, Ueno, and Mei were already examining the buildings and surrounding areas. Orochi began looking for some sort of clues behind what the village may have been particularly known for. He knew there would be something of value, he just didn't quite know what, as of yet. Not very long after(his friends were still within sight, all three of them treading rather slowly and carefully around the mysterious grounds), Orochi found a warning sign that, luckily enough, gave a history of the ruins. He read them(having learned this particular language at the ripe age of 9), then hummed thoughtfully to himself.

"This could be an issue..." he muttered to himself, thinking of the hyper-sexual twins he was traveling with. He then called out to the other three who were still in range, "You don't have to stop what you're doing, but listen up for a moment." he started reading from the sign,

"This land marks where the unique city of 'Dolor Agradar' lies in ruin. The cause of the sudden and terrible demise of every single inhabitant is unknown still to this day, although not many have ever tried very hard to find the truth, because of the curse that is said to "infect all men with the mind of a beast." This curse is feared very highly by the nearby village, for many have succumb to the horrible punishment and had their fates cut short. Many believe the curse somehow relates to the death of the villagers, but none have lived to uncover what really happened."

Orochi stopped reading for a second then muttered, "Seems like a shame no one has ever been able to examine this place thoroughly. There could be many ancient secrets to uncover here if someone looked properly."

"Does it say what the village was known for? We're here for treasure, remember." Mei called back to him as she began climbing up the pillar for a better look around.

Orochi returned to reading the sign out loud,

"Dolor Agrada was a rather well known village in it's prime, even thought it did not last long. In fact, the village was deserted only half a year after it was founded. But, in that small time, it became infamous to the surrounding tribes who would travel far just to visit and receive the 'special services' offered only in Dolor Agrada." Orochi paused and read ahead silently to himself. His eyes grew beneath his round glasses as he reached the end of the information on the sign. "Oh boy..." He muttered to himself, then called up to Mei,

"Mei, come back down here."

She seemed curious as she effortlessly held onto the rope at the top of the pillar and used it to slide down.

"What's up? Did you find something?"

He nervously glanced around for Aki and Ueno but knew they couldn't have gone far, they'd have been to scared. As Mei approached him and placed a hand gently on his shoulder he started to translate the last sentence of the warning and informational sign,

"Dolor Agrada was inhabited by people a multitude of people who liked very strange se-"

"WOAH!" They suddenly heard from inside one of the biggest buildings. It sounded like Aki and Ueno had made the same exclamation at the exact same time.

"-xual fetishes."

Orochi and Mei exchanged a nervous glance then they turned towards the entrance to the building Aki and Ueno's voices had come from. It only took a moment for the two pink-haired twins to appear in the doorway with matching, mischievous grins on their faces. Aki was holding up something black, long, and unmistakably phallic as Ueno exclaimed,

"Look what we found!"

Aki added to his brother's statement,

"You'll never believe what they have in their basements, you have _got_ to come see!"

Mei and Orochi quickly followed the twins into the strange huts. Their giddy and childish behavior gave no clue to either of the followers of what could be waiting for them inside, the twins acted in such a way more often then not. Before disappearing through the doorway, Orochi cast a nervous glance back at the vine-covered sign that gave clear warning against the ruins they were now treading upon. It was clear to him that there was no turning back now.

Basements seemed an odd thing for ancient ruins to have in the first place, what would the people need them for? Even in modern times basements were most often used to hold the useless junk people didn't have any more room for in their garages; extra refrigerators, old and unused bored games, or maybe some past hobbies of whoever lived in the residence above the basement. In the past, though, people didn't hold as much in store of objects. They weren't very important. The people from history were very good at using up everything they had, because they actually needed it. They didn't have the luxury of having things that they could just leave laying around, such as the type of things that ultimately end up in the basement.

Mei was particularly curious as to what could lay in the ground beneath her, and hoped that perhaps it was the valuable object(or objects!) they had come to the ruins looking for in the first place. It was a habit she had possibly inherited from her father to always keep her eyes on the prize, especially when the prize involved something of monetary value. Orochi found it endearing.

In truth, he found everything about Mei endearing. She was sometimes childish, but other times very mothering, like when she reprimanded the twins for doing something stupid. Her enthusiasm only made his own enthusiasm grow and he knew she was the glue who held their group together. As he watched the back of her head descend into the dark basement after Aki and Ueno, he felt something stir in his gut that he usually only felt at weak moments late at night. He adjusted his glasses farther up his nose, ignoring the feeling in his stomach and focussing on the other nervous feeling he had about whatever what in the darkness of the ruin basements.

"We won't be able to see much with the flashlights. Gimme your lighter, Ueno." Aki said as he held hand out to his brother.

It was almost pitch black in the chilly and damp basement. All the three could see were strange outlines of whatever the twins had been so shocked to find. None of them turned on their flashlights, waiting instead for Aki to light the torches that apparently lines the walls of the dungeon-esque lower room. After a minute of bone-chilling silence in which Mei had leaned on Orochi for a bit of comfort and warmth(causing his heart to flutter in a strange way), they heard a click, and the first torch was lit.

"Oh Jashin..." Mei muttered, distancing herself from Orochi to investigate their findings.

As the twins went around the room lighting the rest of the torches and cascading more of the room in dim light, the other two stood at a loss for what they found. When all the lamps were lit, Aki took a closer look at the smooth black dildo his brother was holding.

"I didn't even think they had things like this back then."

The others nodded their heads in silence. Mei was still unsure as to what to think of the place. It wasn't very dirty for being hundreds of years old, and the many tools and instruments that lined the walls and floor seemed well taken care of. There were ropes with pulleys, whips that hung on hooks, shelves of more like the one Aki and Ueno first found, vats filled with a strangely sweet smelling liquid, and machines that Mei could only guess the uses for. And although it was very interesting and gave her no impression of disgust or fear, it was still plainly obvious this was a torture chamber for people who favored that type of sex. The painful, kinky kind. Mei was no history genius, she barely cared for learning about the past, but even she was intrigued by the discovery they had made, and new the impact it would likely have on society if it got in the news. She had a momentary vision of her and her friends receiving money and awards for their discovery, but quickly dismissed it as being too easy.

"I'll bet..." Ueno began bashfully, "this is what the Black Room looked like."

"Yeah." came two hushed replies from Orochi and Mei. Aki looked thoughtfully at the dildo then murmured,

"I'd always wished we could have gone in there at least once."

"Yeah." came the same hushed replies. Orochi and Mei turned to stare at each other with slightly shocked expressions on their faces.

"J-just to see what it looked like!" Orochi quickly added.

"Y-yeah!" Mei conitnued, flushing slightly. "The others were always going on and on about it. Of course we would wanna check it out."

Mei the quickly busied herself with appraising the more valuable looking sexual objects in a far distant corner. At the revival of the strange feeling in his gut, Orochi approached Aki and Ueno seriously, motioning for them to come closer to he could talk without Mei overhearing.

The two brother's exchanged a curious glance as they leaned in to hear what Orochi had to say. His face was grim as he waited for Mei to go far enough out of ear-shot for him to be sure she wouldn't be listening. He didn't want her to worry.

"On that sign outside," he began, capturing the twins' attentions, "It said that the curse, "infects all men with the mind of a beast," which means, if my thinking is correct, which it usually is, that, as men, we could all be 'infected' by the curse. But," he added at the twins' shocked faces, "I get a strange feeling you two won't be affected by this curse, whatever it is. Just take my word for it, I'm smarter than you."

Aki rolled his eyes but Ueno nodded his head loyally to Orochi as the clone continued,

"Now, if, and this is just _IF_, I start acting strange, you guys need to assume it's because of the curse, and, most importantly, you need to keep me away from Mei."

"How come-" Ueno began to question him but Aki cut his brother off.

"What do we do if you really do go under the curse?"

Orochi's glasses glinted in the flickering firelight as he said in a low voice,

"Call my father. He'll know what to do."

Aki and Ueno nodded firmly then the three of them broke apart as Mei drew nearer to where they were standing. The brothers turned away but before they could get very far Orochi stopped them by saying,

"Oh, one more thing. I know you guys are going to screw but don't use that," he jerked his thumb over towards the vats of mysterious liquid in the corner, "stuff. We don't know how long it's been sitting there and it might be dangerous."

Any rebuttal the twins could have been preparing to say was drowned out by a loud crashing sound behind them. The three males turned to see an entire rack of ancient dildos spewed all over the floor and a red-faced Mei standing right behind it. She quickly marched over the mess she made and towards the twins, grabbing each one by the collar of his shirt and glaring down menacingly at them.

"We didn't do anything, Mei!"

"We haven't done a thing yet since we got-"

"AHA!" She exclaimed angrily. "_Yet!_" You just haven't done anything _yet_! You're just waiting until I'm not around and then you're gonna- you're gonna-" she took a deep breath in and continued glaring with a red, flushed face.

"Of course we're waiting until you aren't around Mei!" Aki said, trying to sound reassuring.

"We don't want you to get mad at us or to have another nosebleed or someth-"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" She said as she shook them until they were dizzy. Then, she flung them to the ground and turned on Orochi, her anger seeming to be completely vanished. She used her sweetest voice as she pulled him out of the basement by his arm and muttered,

"Oh gosh darnit, now I've got a headache. Oro, can you make me some of that tea like last time?" her voice faded as her and her fiancé disappeared up the stairs.

Aki and Ueno lay on the floor of the strange sexual room until they were entirely sure Mei would not be returning for some time. As if reading each other's minds, they turned to face one another at the same time, smiling knowingly as they did so.

Then, Aki smoothly rolled over and on top of his brother, straddling him and smirking down with a look that absolutely screamed, "fuck me. now." Ueno caught the message and thought he was completely prepared for anything his brother threw at him. Until, that is, Aki pulled the familiar black dildo from behind his back and held it up to his mouth, kissing the tip as if it were the real thing.

"A-Aki!" he gasped, his eyes widening and his pants growing just a little bit tighter, " Orochi said not to use this stuff, remember?"

"He was just talking about the stuff in those barrels over there." Aki defended. "Besides, if we use this it'll be just like the Black Room. You said you wanted to go in there."

"Yes, but-" Ueno averted his eyes as he tried to ignored the pressure building up in his groin.

"Ueno," Aki said in a slightly more commanding tone, "Do I have to do like when we were kids and _make you_ fuck me? Look, i've been horny ever since we got here and I know you have been too."

"How do you know?" Ueno asked with a blush, knowing full well what his brother would say next.

Aki giggled, also knowing exactly what his brother wanted him to say. He leaned down and placed a fragile kiss on lips that were very similar to his and said,

"Because we're the same."

That was all it took to dissolve Ueno's already weakened resistance and cause him to flip his brother on his back and lick at his lips for entrance. It seemed as if the temperature of the room was increasing rapidly as the brothers on the carpeted floor embraced the same way they usually did. Ueno loved the way Aki's hair felt went it was clasped between his fingers and he never got tired of the familiar taste on his brother's tongue no matter how many times they kissed. After a few minutes they broke apart for air and Aki pushed Ueno back onto his knees then said,

"Since we don't have any lube, I'm gonna make you cum and we can use that."

Aki's vulgar words(which would usually make him at least blush) didn't phase Ueno now that he was in his 'sex' state of mind. Aki began to notice very soon after they started fooling around that Ueno's personality changed a little once he got sufficiently turned on. Not that Aki didn't like his brother's normal personality, but it turned him on more than he liked to admit when Ueno threw him down and ravished him without pausing to even think. Of course eventually, Ueno noticed this about himself as well, and figured out a way to calm himself down.

He put a finger up to his mouth and used his sharp teeth to bite down, causing just enough pain to clear his head so he could say,

"No, Aki. It'd be better if I do it to you."

Aki smiled deviously then whispered,

"Why don't we both do it then?"

Ueno returned his smile and laid down, propping himself up with his arms and watched as Aki placed himself in the right position. Mirroring his brother who was doing the same to him, he unzipped Aki's khaki pants and pulled them down just enough to reveal his already fully erect member. He flinched slightly as Aki had already unclothed his and was sliding his talented tongue along the shaft. Not to be outdone, and with his 'sex state of mind' returning fast, Ueno lifted his head and wrapped his mouth around his brothers scalding flesh.

Their matching moans rang out inside the dark, cave-like room, echoing off the many strange instruments that filled it, and ignoring them all. Aki and Ueno were a very good match in bed, and even when they were just giving each other blowjobs they went together very well. Aki was better with his mouth, making Ueno prepared faster, but, Ueno could hold out longer than Aki, so, when Aki was feeling so good he almost couldn't take it any longer, Ueno was very close behind him.

Aki was the first to give in, squirming away from Ueno's vulgar tongue and laying hands-and-knees on the floor in anticipation for his brother to enter him. Ueno's eyes were completely covered over with lust for his brother. It seemed as if it was more intense than usual for them, especially with the way Aki said,

"U-Ueno, I don't care if there's no lube. I just want you in me **now**!"

Showing real care and love for his brother(or just his own perverted desires), Ueno refused and told Aki, while letting a rather sly grin slip onto his face,

"I don't wanna hurt you, so you have to prepare yourself at least."

Aki gulped and shiver raced down his spine as his brother waited for him to do as he requested. Knowing his brother was watching him only added to Aki's excitement as he reached back behind him and entered his own fingers inside himself to prepare just like Ueno told him to. After quickly passing one finger and adding two to start he pumped them in and out in order to fully spread himself so it would hurt less when Ueno entered him. He was about to stop at three but then he spread himself with a fourth finger, knowing not to underestimate his brother's size, which was nothing to sneeze at. He remembered his dad complaining about it once because he was only normal sized and apparently their grandpa, Kisame, was huge. Suigetsu, their dad, said it must have skipped a generation after he saw his sons in the showers when they were still kind of young.

Aki finally got used to four fingers but he curled them a little just for good measure and accidentally bumped his prostate, sending him ever closer to the edge. He whimpered from the sudden stimulation and then the next thing he knew his fingers were being yanked out and he felt something hot and hard brush his hole. Before he entered, Ueno wrapped his arms lovingly around his brother's chest, kissing the top of his head and between his shoulder blades softly. Aki melted under the gentle touches from his twin and when he finally pushed into the uke twin, Aki couldn't help the loud cry that escaped his lips,

"Aaaaah! Uenooooo! Hn, faster!"

"Fuck!" Ueno cursed. His brother was so tight and warm around his length that he was afraid he wouldn't be able to last long enough.

All the sounds Aki was making were like music to Ueno's ears. it was at times like these that he was really glad his brother had kissed him the first time they realized they could and did love each other in a sexual way as well as a brotherly way. As he fulfilled Aki's request that he went fast he held onto his brother's body that was so much like his even tighter. He pulled lightly on his brother's cute pink nipples and left more than a few lovebites on his neck and back, all the while endlessly assaulting the special spot inside Aki.

"Brother I'm- I'm coming!"

Ueno smiled. Aki always, without a thought, always called him brother when he came. And, in return,

"Me too... Brother!" Ueno replied as he felt Aki's muscles constrict excitedly around his member. He came right along with Aki, their bodies just as in sync as ever.

They collapsed on the ground, the various toy and machines left completely forgotten.

They only had a moment to catch their breathes when they heard a scream coming from outside. Normally, they would ignore it, having complete confidence in Mei and Orochi being able to take care of themselves, but... Mei was the one who was screaming.

"Oro- Orochi please stop!"

Aki and Ueno exchanged scowls, both of them remembering what Orochi had told them earlier. They hurried to get their boxers on and just as Ueno was about to grab his pants Aki called from the bottom of the stairs,

"Just forget it! We've gotta save Mei!"

They rushed out of the basement and out of the strange ruins of the hut, into the fresh night air that was still a bit warm and humid even for night time. They glanced around the ruins and, by the light of a campfire Orochi had most likely made after they left the twins alone in the basement, a terrible scene met their eyes.

Orochi was on top of a shirtless Mei, clawing at her pants and trying to rip them right off her body, his glasses on the ground a few feet away and his eyes glowing with something feral and inhuman.

But the worst thing of all... was seeing the tears that flowed down Mei's cheeks and the fear in her eyes as she struggled against Orochi's blind lust for her.

* * *

And that's how Aki and Ueno saved me from my sex-crazed, cursed fiancé. It took both of the twins together to pull Orochi off of me and get him contained so he wouldn't try again. Ueno called Kabuto while Aki explained why Oro was acting so weird, enough to try and rape me. I cried a lot, and I blamed myself when I found out that the only reason Aki and Ueno didn't get affected was because they were already insanely horny and could have sex easily. I thought it was because Orochi and I had decided to wait that he'd been caught in the curse.

When Kabuto arrived in two days(luckily, he had been nearby) he found a way to get Orochi under control and we left the ruins without looking back. Orochi was probably the most upset out of all of us, even though I was the one who was assaulted and Aki and Ueno were overly distressed about the fact that I had cried, saying something about my Dad killing something if he ever knew what'd happened. Oro wouldn't look at me for days, let alone touch me. Finally I got so mad I started yelling at him, which led to me crying again. For some reason it seems like all the guys I know are weak to my tears. Orochi finally realized that I wasn't mad at him and stopped being such a baby.

See, even though that memory should be one of my worst, I usually remember it as one of my favorite.

For the short time that we had to keep Orochi chained up otherwise he would attack me, one of us would have to watch him at all times because even though he had the sexual determination of a beast, he still had the mind of Orochi, which is nothing to sneeze at.

Aki and Ueno thought I wouldn't want to be around Orochi when he was like that, but I actually liked it. He was looking at me with a kind of hunger in his eyes that made my blood boil and my hair stand on end. When I was guarding him he tried every mind trick in the book, and I almost fell for some. I had a strong desire to get very close to him, almost touching him, and making his craving for me even stronger, then backing away and watching him struggle. Call me sadistic if you want, but even when I think about it now it makes the tips of my fingers and toes curl in a very happy way.

This story also made Orochi and I think seriously about our idea of waiting to have sex until after we were married, which we had planned to be when we were 18, or at least somewhere around then. We wanted our attraction to each other to build until it could finally explode at a time when we decided. And, at that time, it's going to be amazing. Aaaaaand we also wanted to wait because we didn't think any of our family would live if we told them we'd had a baby before 18.

I'm really happy with how my life turned out. I got everything I wanted so far. For someone who was born and almost raised in a prison for insane criminals, I think I did pretty darn good!

And, since I'm on the way to my wedding day, I only have more good things waiting for me!

My name is Mei, and I am the one and only daughter of Hidan and Kakuzu. I sure hope I make them proud!

**Well there it is. Kinda long, huh?**

**For old times sake: REVIEEEEEW! XD**

**KeikoPanda102**


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